My job, as a group therapist, is creating safe spaces for listening and sharing.
My avocation, as a songwriter, is creating music worth listening to.
Yesterday, as I was listening to co-workers during a team-building exercise, I found out about these signs that are showing up at a pedestrian walkway in Somerville.
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After listening to that, I had to find out more.
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I love listening to cats.
Here are some listening quotes:
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Here’s what I’ve been listening to:
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Here are more images for today’s listening post.
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I’m listening to the Daily Bitch, among others.
Now, as recommended by Wendy (above), I’m listening to Amos Lee.
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Finally, it’s time to be listening to my gratitude for YOU!
Thanks to a recommendation by someone who reads this blog, I’ve been listening to Daring Greatlyby Brené Brown.
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Here’s a partial list of the chapters in Daring Greatly:
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The bookis helping me let go of shame and embrace my vulnerability as I am daring greatly to share my music with others, despite my inexperience in this arena.
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Do you see anyone daring greatly in my images for today?
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Today I’ll be daring greatly by (1) speaking to another musician I recently met about next steps and (2) looking into getting a new phone.
Here’s what I find when I search for “daring greatly” on YouTube:
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Thanks to all who are daring greatly every day, including YOU!
Shame is something I feel and think about a great deal and it’s interesting to me how people grapple to define it. For example, the first definition of “shame” I found online this morning …
… didn’t seem to align with the way I think about shame, which may or may not be preceded by “wrong or foolish behavior.” However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that “consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior” doesn’t necessarily mean that the person feeling shame actually did something “wrong” or “foolish” — they might just think or feel that they had. And, one might argue that any behavior could be seen as wrong or foolish, if one is feeling shame.
A definition I like about shame is “guilt is feeling you’ve done something wrong; shame is feeling there is something wrong with you.”
During my week in NYC at a group therapy conference, I wrote notes on my phone, and here are some notes I wrote about shame:
I have no shame about inviting people to let go of shame in my work as a psychotherapist, even if other people believe that shame can help us grow and develop.
Here is another definition of shame I found online …
Yesterday, for the mindfulness exercise in both of my Coping and Healing groups, I invited people to access moments of inner peace. Then, last night, I asked this question on Twitter:
Somebody in group last night brought some moments of inner peace by sharing this: FEAR is Forgetting Everything is All Right.
It’s challenging to find moments of inner peace during times of conflict, stress, pandemics, injustice, and war. However, people somehow find those moments of inner peace through nature, meditation, music, animals, friends, family, self care, and love.
Can you find some moments of inner peace in my images for today?
Despite having an appointment to bring Harley to the vet today during a snowstorm, I’m still finding moments of inner peace.
This is what I find on YouTube when I search for “moments of inner peace.”
It’s a sure thing in life that if you have a bright idea (like writing new lyrics to an old song) that somebody wonderful will have the same idea too.
It’s a sure thing that I’ll end each blog post with gratitude, so thanks to Dolly Parton, everyone else who contributed to the development of the COVID vaccines, all the people I follow on Twitter, the Man from U.N.C.L.E., the Daily Bitch, dogs, cats, Brené Brown, Susan David, and YOU!
In my therapy groups and in my therapy group organization, I am witnessing conversations about fragility (defined as “the quality of being easily broken or damaged”).
My experience is that focusing on the fragility of ourselves, other people, and established systems can lead to
fear,
resistance to change,
avoidance of action, and
silence.
Yesterday, during a conversation about racism in a racially diverse group, I brought up the concept of “white fragility,” defined by Robin DiAngelo as follows:
White Fragility is a state in which even a minimum amount of racial stress becomes intolerable, triggering a range of defensive moves. These moves include
the outward display of emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and behaviors such
as argumentation, silence, and leaving the stress-inducing situation. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate white racial equilibrium. Racial stress results from an interruption to what is racially familiar.
I was the only person in this group who had heard the term “White Fragility.” As we discussed the concept, people nodded and shared their experiences.
In group discussions, I often witness vulnerability, which Brené Brown describes as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure” and the unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control.
It occurs to me now that fragility and vulnerability are two very different things, although both are, of course, human.
My hope is to face the future with more vulnerability and less fragility.
Do you see fragility or vulnerability in any of these recent photos?
When I search for “fragility” on YouTube, the second thing that comes up is this video by Newsbroke:
What are your thoughts and feelings about fragility, here and now?
Strong thanks to all who are reading this “Fragility” post today, including YOU!
Nine hundred and twenty-four imperfect days ago (but what imperfect person is counting?)*, I imperfectly published an imperfect blog post titled Day 1682: Imperfections.
It’s time for another imperfect blog post, inspired by this imperfect photo from yesterday:
I’m wondering if anybody is going to ask me for more information about that Imperfect van. My imperfect response is this: “I know as much as you know.”
It may be imperfect not to know, but I’m glad we can all be imperfect together.
“Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it.” — Salvador Dali
“To banish imperfection is to destroy expression, to check exertion, to paralyze vitality.” — John Ruskin
“One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn’t exist …Without imperfection neither you nor I would exist.” — Stephen Hawking
“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we are all in this together.” — Brené Brown
“If we keep being fair despite the injustices against us, in the end life will reward us, I believe. The world isn’t fair, because it’s imperfect. Right and wrong coexist. But we should stick to morality to make the world become better.” — Maria Karvouni
“Practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice reduces the imperfection.” — Toba Beta
“Practice does not make perfect. Imperfect makes us practice.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“The more I feel imperfect, the more I feel alive.” — Jhumpa Lahiri
“Laughing at one’s imperfections is the best way to cure them …Let us live foolishly, mistakenly, imperfectly, and be content. ” — Marty Rubin
“I believe that the measure of my soul is my ability to love imperfect people.” — Joseph Grenny
“Delight in the pursuit, surrender to imperfection, and marvel at the wonder — as you observe what is.” — Julianne O’Connor
Here are the other imperfect images I imperfectly captured yesterday:
To me, the world seems considerably more imperfect because of the passing of jazz keyboardist Lyle Mays. Here‘s a wordless tribute Jacob Collier posted on YouTube two days after Lyle’s death:
If you leave an imperfect comment below, I will respond with an imperfect reply.
Imperfect thanks to all who help me create these imperfect posts, every day.
* After I published this post, I noticed that I had imperfectly calculated today’s numbers. I corrected those imperfections; the ones that remain are just less obvious.
