Age is a topic that adults of different ages often talk about in my therapy groups.
We have so many preconceptions and judgments about age. For example, women aren’t supposed to share their age. Why not? I’m proud that I’ve reached the age of 71.
I hope we can enter an age where there is no discrimination based on age.
I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day yesterday, as I had a bad night’s sleep worrying that I wouldn’t be able to start my car to bring it very early in the morning to the local dealership, found out before I left that I couldn’t connect my computer to the hospital’s Epic system, finally got my car to start, discovered at the dealership that the problem was a known flaw in the starter button that had been covered by a special warrantee until last month, paid a ridiculous amount of money for the repair, got home and realized the car wasn’t actually fixed when it wouldn’t shut off properly, spent an important meeting talking on the phone with Information Systems trying to connect my home computer to Epic, scrambled to talk to all my patients anyway, found out I couldn’t connect because of another friggin’ form I had missed filling out, managed to get through to the car dealership and was told that the mechanic had mistakenly installed the wrong starter button in my car, got horribly triggered by all this because so many machines weren’t working and I depend on a machine (cardiac pacemaker that needs to be replaced next week) to live, brought the car back in, was told the repair would take hours, got home (without my car) just in time to facilitate my two online therapy groups, and then witnessed other people courageously dealing with terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days.
In group, people talked about this book …
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and then when I had retrieved my car after 8 PM and had a very non-terrible, non-horrible, very good meal prepared by my husband Michael,
When I went for my ophthalmology follow up appointment yesterday, I was nervous because of an abnormality that had shown up on a scan of the back of my right eyeball.
Before I went to the appointment I stopped by my own office and took this picture:
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I felt less nervous when the ophthalmology specialist told me that the abnormality — a “freckle” which had shown up near the optic nerve — had not grown in five months.
Then I was nervous about driving home because my car has been having starting problems and they had dilated my eyes for the appointment.
Which reminds me — when a nervous eye technician came in to ask the doctor a question, “Is it okay for me to dilate a pregnant woman?” I said “Which way?”
Sometime I make jokes when I’m nervous.
I’m still nervous about my car because my mechanic says I should take it to a Honda dealership and I played phone tag with the dealership yesterday.
I’m also nervous about my cardiac device replacement surgery next week and the USA November elections.
Here are the kinds of images I capture when I’m nervous.
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I may be smiling at the Daily Bitch calendar, but I’m nervous about checking my blood INR reading today, because it needs to be between 2.8 and 3.0 for the surgery next week, and that’s a very small margin.
Do I look nervous when I’m performing this song at a live concert?
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I hope you’re not nervous about leaving a comment, below.
Thanks to all who are here for this nervous blog post, including YOU.
When I’m feeling anxious these days, I express those feelings here and elsewhere, practice mindfulness and Qigong, and capture images like these:
Thanks a lot, Daily Bitch.
Here’s one of the songs I wrote when I was feeling anxious.
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Here and now, I’m feeling anxious because I need to get to an 8 AM follow-up ophthalmology appointment in Boston and my car has been having trouble starting. I’m trying not to catastrophize about it.
What do you do when you’re feeling anxious?
Thanks to all who help me when I’m feeling anxious, including YOU!
Because I’m a psychotherapist, I often deal with people’s strong emotions.
Yesterday, I had many strong emotions, including a good cry when I watched West Side Story.
I have no shame about strong emotions, including sadness, fear, anger, and joy. I accept my strong emotions and allow them to flow through me, leaving room for other reactions.
Do you see strong emotions in my images for today?
I’ve always had strong emotions about cats, who have supported me emotionally since I was 10 years old. For me, it’s West Side Story, The Deer Hunter, Sophie’s Choice, To Kill a Mockingbird, Schindler’s List, and so many others.I had strong emotions about Angry Staffer answering my question on Twitter last night.“Maybe calm down” can be a valid response to strong emotions. I have strong emotions about several of today’s observances.
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Here’s what I find when I search for “strong emotions” on YouTube:
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On World Gratitude Day (and every other day), I have strong emotions of gratitude for YOU.