Monthly Archives: March 2024

Day 4107: Anxiety dreams

Posted on March 31, 2024 by Ann Koplow

I don’t know if this is a coincidence, but after I wrote a blog post yesterday about not freaking out, I had a night’s sleep filled with anxiety dreams, including

Being warned not to go to a car inspection place because there might kidnappers there,
Going to the car inspection place anyway,
Getting kidnapped,
Escaping,
Being shot at,
Going to a conference without the schedule of times and locations,
Not being able to find any schedules telling me where to go,
Being left behind when everybody went where they needed to go for the first session of the conference,
Going to my office trying to find my schedule on my laptop,
Not being able to find it,
Wandering about asking people for help,
Nobody helping,
Losing my laptop,
Losing my confidence, and
Trying more and more unsuccessful solutions to the problem, until I woke up.

I can’t remember having such a long series of anxiety dreams, ever. For some reason, though, now that I’m awake and writing about it, it’s not freaking me out.

Do you see possible subjects for anxiety dreams in my images for today?

(Hmmmmmm. All my images are failing to upload right now, which is like an anxiety dream for me.

Here and now, I’m going to take a short break, even though it’s late, let go of my anxiety dreams, and see if the connection problem resolves itself. If it does, it does; if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. Either way, I’ll publish a blog post today.

I really appreciate that my waking life is becoming less and less like my anxiety dreams.)

When I was 10 years old, I had a terrible anxiety dream while under anesthesia and I definitely could have anxiety dreams on World Backup Day about not backing up my data, but I won’t.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “anxiety dreams.”

Happy Easter to those who celebrate and thanks to all who help me deal with anxiety dreams, including YOU!

Categories: Dreams, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: “Having More Anxiety Dreams? You Are Not Alone”, Brassica Kitchen, cats, Easter, KENS 5 San Antonio, letting go of anxiety, March 31 2024, Stop & Shop, World Backup Day | 8 Comments

Day 4106: Anxiety dreams

Posted on March 31, 2024 by Ann Koplow

I don’t know if this is a coincidence, but after I wrote a blog post yesterday about not freaking out, I had a night’s sleep filled with anxiety dreams, including

Being warned not to go to a car inspection place because there might kidnappers there,
Going to the car inspection place anyway,
Getting kidnapped,
Escaping,
Being shot at,
Going to a conference without the schedule of times and locations,
Not being able to find any schedules telling me where to go,
Being left behind when everybody went where they needed to go for the first session of the conference,
Going to my office trying to find my schedule on my laptop,
Not being able to find it,
Wandering about asking people for help,
Nobody helping,
Losing my laptop,
Losing my confidence, and
Trying more and more unsuccessful solutions to the problem, until I woke up.

I can’t remember having such a long series of anxiety dreams, ever. For some reason, though, now that I’m awake and writing about it, it’s not freaking me out.

Do you see possible subjects for anxiety dreams in my images for today?

Hmmmmmm. All my images are failing to upload right now, which is like an anxiety dream for me.

Here and now, I’m going to take a short break, even though it’s late, let go of my anxiety dreams, and see if the connection problem resolves itself. If it does, it does, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. Either way, I’ll publish a blog post today.

I really appreciate that my waking life is becoming less and less like my anxiety dreams.

When I was 10 years old, I had a terrible anxiety dream while under anesthesia and I definitely could have anxiety dreams on World Backup Day about not backing up my data, but I won’t.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “anxiety dreams.”

Happy Easter to those who celebrate and thanks to all who help me deal with anxiety dreams, including YOU!

NOTE: It was like an anxiety dream when WordPress published many versions of this post, which originally had the wrong number in the title. I deleted most of the copies, but not this one because it has a comment by somebody who helps my life be less of an anxiety dream!

Day 4106: What’s been freaking me out

Posted on March 30, 2024 by Ann Koplow

As somebody who can freak about almost anything (including the latest news headlines, poll results, mistakes, paperwork, technology glitches, memory glitches, my own problems, other people’s problems, obligations, misunderstandings, performances, and other people’s anger), I am now going to report on what’s been freaking me out lately.

Nothing.

Why is what’s been freaking me out a null set?

My best guess is that it’s a combination of

Ongoing EMDR therapy,
Realizing that as an adult I am not alone (as I was as a young child in the hospital),
Spending more time with supportive, loving people and spending less time with those who are not,
Starting to practice Tai Chi again for the first time in decades,
Listening to Ram Dass, Pema Chödrön, and Michael Singer videos on YouTube before falling asleep,
Allowing myself to believe in my own skills, and
Realizing that freaking out doesn’t help anything.

Here are some things that have not been freaking me out.

I’m not freaking about about the RNC (Republican National Committee) because I am doing everything I can to ensure they will not prevail in the November election.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “what’s been freaking me out.”

Thanks to all who helped me create this what’s-been-freaking-me-out post, including YOU!

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: Ava Max, Easter Candy, EMDR therapy, March 30 2024, Michael Singer, National I Am in Control Day, Pema Chodron, Ram Dass, Republican National Committee, The Daily Bitch Calendar, The Grass is Always Browner on the Other Side Day | 14 Comments

Day 4105: Crazy about cats

Posted on March 29, 2024 by Ann Koplow

I don’t know why I’ve always been so crazy about cats, but I do know that having a cat when was a kid with a crazy heart condition kept me from going crazy.

If you’re not crazy about cats, there are still a few images you might like in today’s blog. If you are crazy about cats, get ready to purr!

Because I’m so crazy about cats, I keep thinking I should write a song about cats. (Is “I Wish I Were More Like My Cat” a great title?) In the meantime, here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “crazy about cats.”

My “crazy about cats” search also found this crazy cat:

Thanks to all the cool cats that helped me create this crazy-about-cats post, including YOU.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: “Cat answers the most googled questions about cats”, cats, Congenitally Corrected Transposition of the Great Arteries, Crazy about Cats?, Good Mews, i Film Heroes, March 29 2024, spaghetti and meatballs, The Daily Bitch Calendar, The Dodo, Twitter | 11 Comments

Day 4104: Great Titles

Posted on March 28, 2024 by Ann Koplow

People have told me that some of my songs have great titles — specifically “I Left the House Before I Felt Ready,” “Everybody’s Somebody’s Asshole,” and “I’d Like to Win a Grammy for Best New Artist.”

Yesterday, when I spoke to some lovely people at Samaritans (where I got the title Ann 1360* when I volunteered for their suicide hotline in the 90s) about contributing proceeds from my June concert and album to them, I mentioned my song with the title “Don’t Kill Yourself.”

I don’t know if “I Love Myself” is a great title, but I started writing this new song yesterday:

Do you see any great titles in my images for today?

Here’s a song with a great title: “How Can I Miss You When You Won’t Go Away.”

Thanks to all who help me find great titles, including YOU!

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* Everyone who volunteers at Samaritans gets a great title comprised of their first name and a number; while I do remember my first name, I’m not sure about that number.

Categories: original song, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: “How Can I Miss You When You Won’t Go Away”, Beacon Hill Dental Associates, Boston Common, Dan Hicks and his Hot Licks, Dr. Luis Del Castillo, March 28 2024, Respect Your Cat Day, Samaritans, spaghetti and meatballs, The Daily Bitch Calendar | 9 Comments

Day 4103: Bad movies

Posted on March 27, 2024 by Ann Koplow

There are times when life seems like a collection of bad movies. Today’s news headlines suggest that now is one of those times.

What seems like a bad movie is that I know that previous line will work no matter when you are reading this blog post.

Decades ago, when my personal bad movies were an unwanted series of sequels called Ann Goes to the Hospital, Part n,” I distracted myself by reading The Golden Turkey Awards by the Medved brothers, which was all about bad movies.

Somehow, reading about all those bad movies made me feel much better about living through my own personal bad movie. I remember being in the hospital recovering from my nth heart-condition-related surgery laughing out loud at the Medved brothers describing a flubbed line in an Ed Wood movie with Tor Johnson – “He’s as harmless as kitchen” (instead of kitten).

Lately, I’ve been trying to improve my personal movie by rewriting bad narratives including “Every time I shoot for the stars, I shoot myself in the foot.” That’s a bad movie of my own making and there is no reason to believe that my worst-fear scripts will come true.

Do you see any bad movies in today’s blog post?

I’m sure there’s a bad movie in there, somewhere.

I’m really looking forward to what I’ll find on YouTube when I search for “bad movies.”

Thanks to all who do their best surviving bad movies, including YOU!

Categories: movies, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: “The Golden Turkey Awards” by Harry and Michael Medved, “Top 20 Movies So Bad They’re Good” from WatchMojo.com, Ed Wood, living with a heart condition, March 27 2024, non-scary animals, The Daily Bitch Calendar, Tor Johnson, Twitter, unhelpful narratives | 8 Comments

Day 4102: Personal bests

Posted on March 26, 2024 by Ann Koplow

After I asked a question about personal bests on Twitter last night, somebody wanted a definition of personal bests. I guess he wanted to do his personal best answering the question.

I don’t know if this blog post will be my personal best, but I enjoy witnessing and sharing personal bests.

Now I’m going to do my personal best to arrange today’s images in a coherent and helpful order.

Here’s what I find when I search for “personal bests” on YouTube.

I’m going to do my personal best to communicate to the producer of my June concert/album taping that I’d like results similar to that video.

Thanks to all who accomplish personal bests without even realizing it, including YOU!

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: cats, dealing with worst fears, dogs, feelings chart, Hospital Social Workers, Maisie Peters, March 26 2024, speaking up against racism, Swordfish dish, The Daily Bitch Calendar, Twitter | 12 Comments

Day 4101: First thoughts

Posted on March 25, 2024 by Ann Koplow

My first thought when I wake up in the morning is often “What will I blog about today?”

My first thought is followed by a second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, twelfth, thirteenth, fourteenth (etc.) thought.

My first thought after writing that paragraph is that my thoughts never stop. Lately, I’m been observing my thoughts without getting too caught up with any one thought, because (1) I am not my thoughts and (2) another thought will always be coming along.

What are your first thoughts about my images for today?

My first thought about those images is that my ex-husband Leon (whom I talk to on Sundays along with our son Aaron and my husband Michael) is going to like them because there are so many pictures of Joan.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “first thoughts.”

My first and subsequent thoughts often go to gratitude, so thanks to all who are having first etc. thoughts, including YOU!

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: “Intrusive Thoughts and Overthinking: The Skill of Cognitive Defusion”, cats, family members, gratitude, March 25 2024, noticing thoughts, stroganoff dish, The Daily Bitch Calendar, the South Shore of Boston, Therapy in a Nutshell, Twitter | 12 Comments

Day 4100: Other people’s anger

Posted on March 24, 2024 by Ann Koplow

Because I’ve been dealing with other people’s anger lately, I decided to finish and record my new song, “Other People’s Anger.”

Throughout my life, other people’s anger has gotten too much of my attention. When I was in the hospital with a heart condition when I was very young, I was at the mercy of doctors and nurses, some of whom showed their anger and impatience. As a result, it’s been difficult for me to feel safe when I’ve encountered angry words, looks, or even tones.

Because of all the work I’ve done in therapy, other people’s anger doesn’t bother me as much these days, although I sometimes need to remind myself that “it’s safer than it feels” when somebody is angry at me.

Interestingly enough, other people’s anger doesn’t bother me in the therapy groups I facilitate. Instead, I see that as an opportunity for people to accept and understand anger better.

Do you see other people’s anger in my images for today?