Posts Tagged With: accepting compliments

Day 3868: Nice

Posted on August 5, 2023 by Ann Koplow

Many nice things happened to me yesterday. First, my nice Primary Care Doctor did some nice detective work early yesterday morning and discovered that the alarmingly and unprecedentedly high number on Wednesday’s heart-failure blood test was probably a false alarm.

I won’t go into the niceties of why that was, but my nice doctors still thought it would be nice for me to get an echocardiogram ASAP to ensure that my nice but very unusual heart was doing a nice enough job.

So I took a nice trip to the hospital yesterday afternoon and met a nice echocardiogram technologist who despite his many years of experience had never encountered a nice heart like mine before. He said it would have been nice if they had scheduled me with somebody who had experience with congenitally corrected transposition (the rarest of all heart defects). I wasn’t just being nice when I told him that I believed he would do a nice enough echocardiogram to capture all the necessary information my nice doctors wanted to see.

We had a nice time as I told him about my cardiac history and he was nice enough to tell me what he was going to do before he did it. It would have been nice if I had remembered to take a photo of this very nice echo technologist so I could share that with all my nice readers.

What was really nice was that — rather than being tight-lipped about what he was seeing (my usual experience with medical technologists) — he told me that as far as he could tell, my nice and very strange-looking heart was doing a nice job. He said that a nice doctor would take a look at the images after I left and I think it’s a nice sign that I didn’t get a call last night from the hospital.

It was nice that, with all this nice news and non-news, I could really enjoy the arrival of my nice son back from his nice trip to Europe. I guess I was being nice by not taking a picture of him and my husband Michael last night because even though they can be nice about it, they really don’t like having their pictures taken. However, I warned them that I will soon need a nice picture of the three of us for the class report for my upcoming 50th college reunion, which I’m sure will be nice.

It would probably be nice if I stopped writing and shared my nice images from yesterday right now.

It’s nice that I don’t have to work like a dog today and that I’m about to play outside with my nice son, who is staying here for a couple of days.

Here’s a nice video of our nice cat Joan doing a nice job cleaning herself.

I find looking at cats nice and relaxing.

Thanks to all of my nice readers, including YOU.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: accepting compliments, August 5 2023, cardiac echocardiogram, cats, CCTGA, living with a congenital heart condition, The Daily Bitch Calendar, The Longwood Medical area, threads, Twitter public art | 17 Comments

Day 3804: Compliments

Posted on June 2, 2023 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, in a Coping and Healing group, people talked about compliments. Several said they had trouble accepting compliments because they

didn’t believe them,
didn’t deserve them,
weren’t used to them,
felt conceited,
felt embarrassed,
associated them with past traumas, and
were less comfortable with them than they were with familiar negative talk.

Compliments can’t hurt us! Let’s try to accept them with a simple “thank you.”

Let’s see if there are any compliments in my other images for today.

Compliments to the U.S. Congress for not sleeping and doing something hard: raising the debt ceiling and averting global fiscal disaster.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for compliments.

Thanks to all who do their best to give and receive compliments, including YOU!

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: accepting compliments, cats, coping and healing groups, June 2 2023, Pride Month, Street Compliments — SoulPancake Street Team, The Daily Bitch Calendar, the debt ceiling, the South Shore of Boston, Twitter, Yell “Fudge” at the Cobras in North America Day | 21 Comments

Day 3010: Add a positive word

Posted on March 29, 2021 by Ann Koplow

I wasn’t sure what positive words I wanted to add to this post this morning until I saw this on Twitter:

Even (or especially) during difficult, uncertain, and anxiety-provoking times, it helps to add a positive word.

What positive word would you add to the jar? You can add that positive word to the comments section, below.

Now it’s time for me to add positive images to this post.

I considered adding the positive word “awareness” instead, but I want to put in a positive word for acceptance. In therapy, I often say that acceptance is the first step to change — you need to recognize and accept where you are, even if you don’t like it — before you can take the next step forward.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “add a positive word”:

That reminds me of an exercise I did with my family decades ago when we all added positive words about each other on paper. After our move to our home by the ocean, I’ve lost track my piece of paper, but the positive words are where they belong — in my heart — even if some family members are gone.

I also think I added those positive words to this blog, somewhere.

I’m positively giddy that I found some of them by searching for “family exercise,” here.

Positive words are out there. Strangely, those are often hard to accept.

As always, I add a positive word to the end of each post.

Categories: group therapy, life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: acceptance, accepting compliments, Carol Dweck, Ella Justice, family exercise, Mindset, Power of Positive Words -- YW, South Shore of Boston, veggie sausage sandwich | 17 Comments

Day 2987: Fake

Posted on March 6, 2021 by Ann Koplow

Why, for fake’s sake, would I write a post about “fake” when authenticity is so important to me?

Maybe “fake” has something to do with today’s Daily Bitch calendar.

Maybe it’s because I saw this fake swan yesterday.

I’m not being fake when I write that many people fear that others are being fake when they give them very positive feedback. I hear this in therapy and I thought about it last night when I got these compliments, via ZOOM chat, after performing “Vaccinated Women” at an Open Mic:

I sincerely doubt I could fake my way onto a Boston TV show. I think I need a new manager, instead of the fake one I have now:

Harley doesn’t even fake an interest in making me famous.

Do you see “fake” in any of my other images from yesterday?

You don’t have to pfake, I mean fake, your reaction to my performance of “Vaccinated Women” last night.

And I am never being fake when I express gratitude to all who help me create this daily blog, including YOU!

Categories: life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Fascinating Rhythm", "Vaccinated Women", accepting compliments, entertainment manager, Jam'n Java Open Mic, sexism, Stroganoff, The Daily Bitch Calendar, the South Shore of Boston, Twitter | 19 Comments

Day 2255: Unbelievable

Posted on March 5, 2019 by Ann Koplow

It’s unbelievable that I’ve never written an “unbelievable” post before, especially during these unbelievable times.

Would you believe me if I shared what inspired today’s unbelievable post?

That unbelievable scale was on my office white board to greet me on my return back to work yesterday after an unbelievable week in Los Angeles.

It’s unbelievable to me that there are so many new friends out there for me to meet. Here’s an email exchange I had with my new friend Don (featured in this unbelievable blog post from two days ago):

Ann,

It was great meeting you last evening at Dynasty! I hope you had a great and safe journey home!

Here is a link to download your set from The Tomorrow Show.

Let me know when you have it downloaded properly and that t works for you, as I’ll have to clear that space on my Box Drive.

I’m excited to start reading your blog too. You gave me a lot of good stuff to think about yesterday!

All the best,
Don

Don!

Thank you so much for sending this and for your kindness and welcoming good nature yesterday. I am home safe and sound if somewhat psychotically overtired. I believe I did download the video properly so feel free to delete it. And here is my blog post for today with a proper photo of you:

https://annkoplow.wpcomstaging.com/2019/03/03/day-2289-every-object-has-a-story/

Day 2289: Every object has a story

I hope you don’t object to the idea that every object has a story, including all the objects in the photos I took during the last day and night of my week-long visit to Los Angeles: I go for …

annkoplow.wordpress.com

All the best,

Ann

Ann,

I’m glad you made it home safely, albeit filled with psychotic fatigue! I’m honored I made your blog!

FYI Adrian and the other folks also remarked that you were an awesome lady so feel free to be flattered (but don’t let it go to your head)!

All the bestest foreverest and stay in touch!

Don

These days I’m letting compliments go to my head and I would advise you to do the same, my awesome new friend.

All the best,
Ann

Well, you are a professional so that’s sound advice!

Best,

Don

I wonder if Don, if he does read this blog, will find it unbelievable that I shared our email exchange. I’m doing so because I find it unbelievable that people worry about compliments going to people’s heads (including their own). I will repeat that unbelievable advice for you, here and now: please let compliments go to your head. It’s unbelievable to me that believing compliments could harm our heads in any way.

Let’s see if there’s anything unbelievable in the new photos I am sharing with you today.

That unbelievable list of topics was written by an unbelievable social work intern named Nat who facilitated my Thursday evening therapy group while I was away. Nat is an intern with unbelievable therapy skills and also an unbelievable song-writer and musician. I asked Nat if he would co-write an unbelievable song with me titled “Nobody’s Perfect,” which we are going to rehearse and perform at next month’s open mic. Unbelievable!

Here‘s “Unbelievable” by EMF:

Here’s “Unbelievable” by Owl City featuring Hanson:

It’s unbelievable that I can’t figure out which Hanson is featured in that second song.

Many people are finding it unbelievable that Luke Perry died yesterday at age 52.What’s unbelievable to you, here and now?

If you find it unbelievable that I am grateful, day after day, to all those who help me write these unbelievable blog posts and grateful to those who read them (including you), believe it, baby!

Categories: gratitude, group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Unbelievable" songs, accepting compliments, coping and healing groups, EMF, letting things go to your head, Luke Perry, Nobody's perfect, Owl City featuring Hanson, snow in Boston, Top of the Pops 1990 | 16 Comments

Day 1627: Love, Validation

Posted on June 15, 2017 by Ann Koplow

As I was reading the news online this morning, I felt many painful emotions. Then, I saw this headline:

Two-Headed Porpoise Just Wants Love, Validation

And I thought, “That two-headed porpoise is just like us.”

I just want love, validation for these photos I took recently.

Did you notice any love or validation in those pictures?

I looked for love, validation on YouTube and found this …

and this:

I wonder: will there be any love, validation in the comments for this post?

Love, validation, and thanks to all who helped me create today’s blog and — of course! — to YOU.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: accepting compliments, Ellie B., love, Matthew McKay, mistakes, mistakes are human, No Min Woo, Patrick Fanning, self esteem, two-headed porpoise, validation | 23 Comments

Day 1204: Yipes!

Posted on April 18, 2016 by Ann Koplow

Yipes!

is something people say when they’re

surprised,
scared, or
amazed.

Every day, I have reasons to say

Yipes!

because life can be surprising, scary, and amazing.

Yesterday, I was surprised, scared, and amazed because

I spent a beautiful Sunday discussing membership with other group therapists and didn’t resent being indoors,
several people mentioned that somebody they cared about had recently died unexpectedly, and
I got a lot of praise for my contributions to the success of the day.

What makes you say “Yipes!”? How about the photos I took yesterday?

Yipes! I didn’t know that Yipes! was an American rock band from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

You can find Yipes! singing “Blink of an Eye” here on YouTube, with several Yipes!-inducing lyrics including:

Where does the time go?

Yipes! Where does the time go? It’s time for me to end today’s post.

Yipes! I almost forgot to thank Yipes, group therapists, and you — of course! — for visiting, here and now.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: accepting compliments, being in the moment, Blink of an Eye, canine couture, compliments, dealing with mortality, how to really love a child, land shark!, Where does the time go?, Yipes | 30 Comments

Day 1158: Help is on the way

Posted on March 3, 2016 by Ann Koplow

Here’s a sign I encountered yesterday at Boston’s Tufts Medical Center, when I was on the way to see my helpful cardiologist, Dr. Deeb Salem.

Even though that light wasn’t flashing, help was on the way for me, including this opinion from Dr. Salem:

I think you’re doing really well.

While that and other help from Dr. Salem was on its way, I didn’t take any photos of him, which cannot be helped. If you want to go out of your way to see pictures of Dr. Salem, there’s help in some previous posts (including here, here, and here).

Earlier in the day, during my therapy group, help was on the way for several participants who have trouble accepting good news and compliments. People helped each other get beyond barriers to taking in the positive. As always, it was helpful to flash reminders to each other that negatives stick more easily than positives, as we go on our way.

If you want to see more photos from yesterday, help is on the way!

Did this flashing post give you any help on the way?

Helpful thanks — to Dr. Salem, to people who heal in groups, and to you (of course!) — are on the way, here and now.

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: accepting compliments, accepting the positive, Dr. Deeb Salem, good news, living with cctga, living with congenital heart condition, spring is on the way, Tufts Medical Center | 41 Comments

Day 1102: Surprising

Posted on January 7, 2016 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, it was surprising to me that somebody described me as “surprising” during a group therapy exercise.

I’ve been surprising people with group therapy exercises for a surprising number of years. Because yesterday’s group therapy exercise was new to all the participants, they found it surprising how useful and moving it was.

I shall now explain, in surprising detail, yesterday’s group therapy exercise:

People wrote down, on a single sheet sheet of paper, negative and unhelpful beliefs about themselves, which they’ve been carrying around for a surprising long time. (See here for a definition of “labeling” — a surprisingly common and toxic cognitive distortion.)
It was surprising to me how many of us wrote down the words “weird” and “stupid” for this part of the exercise.
People shared their negative self-talk with others in the group, who found it surprising how harshly the other members judged themselves.
The group participants ripped up and threw away, in the trash, their negative descriptions, surprising themselves with how great that felt.
Without any instruction from me, surprising and strong applause greeted every trashing of old, negative self-talk.
It was probably surprising to the participants when I next instructed them to write down positive descriptions of themselves and/or others in the group.
It’s not surprising to me that people find it much easier to write down positive descriptions of other people than to write down positive descriptions of themselves.
It was surprising to every group member how many positive things others wrote about them.

I hope it’s not surprising that I will gladly clarify any aspect of that exercise, if you wish.

Here are some surprising images I captured after yesterday morning’s surprising group therapy session:

Which of those are most surprising to you?

Here’s my final thought about “surprising”: It’s not surprising to me that surprising and wonderful changes can occur when people are surprised by more positive images of themselves.

Surprising thanks to all the surprising people, cats, and dogs that helped me create today’s surprising post and special thanks to you — surprise! — for reading it.

Categories: group psychotherapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: accepting compliments, changing self-image, cognitive distortion "labeling", cognitive distortions, group therapy exercise, healing in group, letting go of negative message, negative self talk | 36 Comments

Day 1069: Your name here

Posted on December 5, 2015 by Ann Koplow

Have you ever experienced people using your name as an adjective or a noun, implying they see you a certain way ?

Me neither, until yesterday, when it happened TWICE.

The first time was when one of my therapy patients said this about a relative of hers:

I think she needs an Ann in her life.

The second time was when my friend Carol said this, when I told her I was trying out for “The Voice” in February:

That’s a very Ann thing to do.

How can I know, for sure, what either of those people meant, using my name like that?

Googling “Ann” probably won’t help me, but I shall try that anyway (since, to me, that seems like a very Ann thing to do).

Here is Ann’s first result of googling “Ann definition”:

The name Anne is a Hebrew baby name. In Hebrew the meaning of the name Anne is: Favour or grace. Prayer. God has favoured me.

That’s not how I spell my name, though. Perhaps people whose name is spelled AnnE are graceful and favoured by God. Here‘s another way Google defines “Ann”:

Word Origin and History for Ann
fem. proper name, alternative form of Anna, from Latin Anna, from Greek, from Hebrew Hannah (see Hannah ). In U.S. black slang, “white woman,” also “a black woman who is considered to be acting ‘too white;’ ” also Miss Ann. She is the spouse of Mr. Charlie.

It’s true that I AM a white woman, but that’s not a particularly helpful definition, either.

If I could consult with my patient or with Carol as I’m writing this blog post, I could use the helpful skill of reality testing (see here for that and other antidotes for automatic and unhelpful thoughts). In other words, I could ask them what they meant. However, that’s not possible. Therefore, it’s up to me to decide what “Ann” might mean, when used as an adjective or noun.

I am deciding this, at 6:19 AM, Boston USA time: