“I’m afraid to look” is a phrase that can pop up in my mind, most recently right before I started writing this post.
“I’m afraid to look,” I thought, before I used my home monitor to discover my INR results after returning home from Halifax, where I was away from my usual routine. “I’m afraid to look,” I thought, as a good INR range for me is between 3.0 – 3.5, remembering how a year ago, when I was on vacation and away from my usual routine, I had a mini-stroke because my INR range was too low (2.4).
Before I conducted the home test this morning, I decided to counteract “I’m afraid to look” with “I need to look and whatever it is, I’ll deal with it.”
I realized that “I’m afraid to look” is a very old thought and feeling for me, related to a traumatic experience I had when I was 10 years old in the hospital, right after my first cardiac pacemaker implant. Nobody told me the pacemaker was huge and was “going to stick out like a sore thumb” — a description my surgeon shared with my parents but neglected to share with me. When I first saw my pacemaker after a nurse removed the bandages, I was afraid and asked, “What’s that?” The nurse, for whatever reason, lied to me and said “That’s your hip, swollen from the surgery.” My fear went away, temporarily. However, when a doctor removed the bandages a day or so later, I looked and was afraid to see the big protrusion still there. I asked again “What’s that?” and the doctor said, very casually, without any questions or further explanations, “That’s your pacemaker.”
I assume that doctors and nurses today would handle that situation much better with a child, so that child wouldn’t grow up being afraid to look.
When I did my INR test this morning, I decided I would not be afraid to look and also — for the first time — take some pictures of the process. I hope you’re not afraid to look at these four photos. (If you’re very squeamish about blood, you might want to scroll quickly past them.)
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Yay! 3.1 is a great number for me and better than my INR number two weeks ago, which was high. My coagulation nurse and I decided not to adjust my medication before my trip, because we were afraid that might result in my INR becoming dangerously low again.
Is anyone afraid to look at my other images for today?
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It looks like the Daily Bitch is afraid to look outside a six-foot radius.
Afraid to look on YouTube for “afraid to look”? I need to look and whatever it is, we’ll deal with it (here and here).
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Thanks to all who were not afraid to look at today’s post, including YOU!
As a therapist and a human being who has lived a long life, I’m very interested in life stages. Because my current life stage involves taking many photos and sharing them here, I took this yesterday at a local supermarket:
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Here are some quotes I just found online about life stages:
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Do you see life stages in any of my other images for today?
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I’m in a life stage where I really notice synchronicity and coincidences, like my taking this photo yesterday and sharing it on National Spirit of ‘45 Day:
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Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “life stages”:
I’ve reached the stage of today’s post where I ask for comments and also express my gratitude for all whom I’ve encountered during my life stages, including YOU!
I often gain enlightenment by interacting with others and somebody on Twitter shared this enlightening image in response to my question about to-do lists:
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Here is an enlightening definition of enlightenment:
Here and now, I’m going to make up a new definition of enlightenment: the realization that one of the reasons you’re not sleeping well is that there is too much lightenment in your bedroom because there is no way to hang blackout curtains.
Perhaps one of my readers will offer some enlightenment about how to fix that problem. In the meanwhile, I have en-lightened my wallet by ordering several sleep masks that, so far, aren’t comfortable enough.
Can you find enlightenment in any of my other images for today?
I think it’s funny that I’m blogging about enlightenment and light on National Daylight Day and the longest day of the year. If you need enlightenment about any of the National Days in June, here’s an enlightening link:
If my post title today irritates you or leads you to an understanding of yourself or others, let’s give the credit to Carl Jung.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
… is displayed on the front of the packaging for the Carl Jung action figure in my office.
Whenever I share that quote with others, they seem to understand.
How do you understand that quote from Carl Jung, my understanding readers?
These days, several things are irritating me about others, which means I have an unprecedented opportunity to understand myself! I’m going to celebrate that by sharing some other recent photos (which may be an irritating habit of mine, which I hope you understand).
It’s not how old you are, it’s how you keep learning to understand yourself and others.
Here are 10 additional quotes from Carl Jung, which can lead to more understanding.
I hope you understand my gratitude for all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — for YOU.
P.S. After I published this post, I realized it was irritatingly similar to this one, from August 2017. I hope you understand!
Illness is the doctor to whom we pay the most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promises only; pain we obey. — Marcel Proust
The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain. — Lord Byron
I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain. — James Baldwin
Pain reaches the heart with electrical speed, but truth moves to the heart as slowly as a glacier. — Barbara Kingsolver
All of us have ways in which we mask and cover our pain. — Iyania Vanzant
Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. — Joseph Campbell
Pain and pleasure, like light and darkness, succeed each other. — Laurence Sterne
Pain is the most private experience, but its causes, whether natural or man-made, demand public accounting. — Nancy Gibbs
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it! — Charlie Chaplin
If my art has nothing to do with people’s pain and sorrow, what is “art” for? — Ai Weiwei
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. — Bob Marley
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. — Tom Waits
Any aficionado of this blog knows that I often start by defining my terms.
a·fi·ci·o·na·do
əˌfiSHəˈnädō,əˌfisyəˈnädō
noun
a person who is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about an activity, subject, or pastime.
“aficionados of the finest wines”
synonyms: connoisseur, expert, authority, specialist, pundit, cognoscente
Yesterday, when we were eating salmon for dinner (prepared by cooking aficionado Michael) …
I announced that Oscar …
… was a fish-ionado. My son, Aaron, who is a comedy aficionado, thought that was a good one. Michael, who is irritated by puns, gave me the fish eye.
I don’t see myself as a photography aficionado, but that doesn’t stop me from taking pictures of other aficionados.
Later today, I am seeing a tooth aficionado (who reads this blog) for some dental work. Tonight, I’m meeting a building aficionado at our new home by the water to discuss some possible remodeling.
My sister Ellen, who is an aficionado of fun videos, showed me this last week:
I assume the talent aficionados appreciated that.
I am an aficionado of blog comments and expect to be seeing some great ones soon.
I hope you’re an aficionado of gratitude and know I am sincerely grateful for all the aficionados who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — for you.
