Mind reading is one of the most common cognitive distortions.
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This morning, I had a conversation with ChatGPT about some mind reading I’ve been doing.
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Do you see mind reading in my other images for today?
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Here’s what I find when I search for “mind reading” on YouTube:
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Is anyone mind reading me right now?
All-or-nothing is a very common cognitive distortion, described here:
Things are either all good or all bad, people are either perfect or failures, something new will either fix everything or be worthless. There is no middle ground; we place people and situations in “either/or” categories, with no shades of gray, or allowing for complexities. Watch out for absolute words like “always”, “never,” “totally,” etc. as indications of this kind of distortion.
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I was about to say that we all do all-or-nothing thinking, but perhaps there are some humans that don’t.
Is the Daily Bitch doing all-or-nothing thinking today?
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Technically, she is correct (as usual), but that kind of either-or thinking doesn’t reflect the vast diversity in the universe.
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Things aren’t alway either pizza or not pizza; they can also be sour candy and/or caviar.
Here’s what I find when I search for “all-or-nothing” thinking on YouTube.
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Do you do all-or-nothing thinking? And please don’t respond “always!”
Thanks to all who helped me create this all-or-nothing-thinking post, including YOU!
Last week, when the social workers at my hospital gathered together in person for the first time in three years for a team-building event, I didn’t think “here comes trouble” because I have a high level of immunity to COVID (completely boosted, with a recent bout of the virus in February).
When the social workers were asked to briefly introduce ourselves and perhaps include our favorite ice cream flavor, I said my name, where I worked in the hospital, “Rocky Road, and I’m wearing socks that say ‘here comes trouble.’”
Here comes trouble: since then, I’ve wondered if saying I was wearing “here comes trouble” socks was too
Here comes trouble — human minds usually search for the negatives to try to keep ourselves safe, but that can cause useless and troubling thoughts. There’s enough real trouble in the world without wasting time on “here comes trouble” cognitive distortions, like mind-reading.
Here comes some personal, health-related trouble. Before I test my INR with my home device every other Sunday morning, I’m feeling “here comes trouble” feelings and thinking “here comes trouble” thoughts. Here comes the explanation: if the number that appears on my measuring device is not between the small range of 3.0 – 3.5, here comes trouble for me. Since I had a mini-stroke in September when my INR was 2.4, I have the trouble of needing to give myself an injection if the number is below 2.7. Also, if the INR number is too low, my mechanical heart valve could get clogged and need replacement with another very troubling open heart surgery. And if the number is above 3.5, that could cause troubling bleeding.
Whenever I test my INR, I always have to wait what feels like a troublingly long time (probably only about 10 seconds) to find out if here comes trouble. Here comes my INR result for today from here-comes-trouble me …
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Here comes relief! Now I’ll wait another two weeks to see if here comes trouble again.
Let’s see if here comes trouble in my other images for today.
Because I do my best to keep my INR in the no-trouble range by eating the right amount of spinach — which contains anti-coagulating vitamin K — every single day, here comes my celebration of National Spinach and Spinach Festival Day!
Let’s see what I find when I search for “here comes trouble” on YouTube.
Here comes gratitude from me for all who helped me write this here-comes-trouble post, including YOU!
Today’s Daily Bitch Calendar is about throwing out what no longer fits.
We all have things that no longer fit — unhelpful thoughts, toxic people, harsh self judgment, second guessing, crippling fears about the future, regrets about the past, hopelessness, body shame, etc. — and wouldn’t it be great to throw those out?
At the end of every therapy group, I invite people to throw out what no longer fits them in a “magic” waste paper basket, which either holds or reduces the power of whatever they throw away. Over the years, people have thrown away a ton of trash in these magic waste paper baskets.
Because all my groups are remote these days, here’s the “home version” of the magic waste paper basket:
Next to the magic waste paper basket is the magic hat, an addition recently suggested by a group member. Out of the magic hat, people can pull whatever they want, like self love, courage, acceptance, strength, and hope.
Do you see anything that fits the magic waste paper basket or the magic hat in my other images for today?
Yesterday, I threw my rough day into the magic waste paper basket and it fit in there just fine.
This is the first thing that comes up on YouTube when I search for “throwing away what doesn’t fit”:
This is the second thing:
What do you need to throw away that doesn’t fit?
Gratitude always fits, so thanks to all who help me create these daily blog posts, including YOU.
Minds can get so cluttered up with fear, worry, judgment, guilt, shame, dread, distractions, self-consciousness, regrets, assumptions, cognitive distortions, other people’s behaviors and thoughts, the past, the future, and SO ON, that clearing your mind is an important skill.
I’ll be working on clearing my mind as I start my two-week vacation from work. Over-thinking is an old habit for me, so here and now I’m clearing my mind of everything except the current task, which is to create today’s blog post.
In each moment, I am taking a breath and letting go of any distractions (of which there are many).
Do any of today’s images help in clearing your mind?
As I’m clearing my mind for National Ride the Wind Day, how are you clearing your mind?
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “clearing your mind”:
I also find this:
If you do have thoughts and feelings about this clearing-your-mind post, try clearing your mind of them by leaving them in a comment, below.
Clearing my mind still leaves room for gratitude, so thanks to all who help me create this mind-clearing daily blog, including YOU!
Before I began walking my walk yesterday, I tweeted this:
Why did I post that I was better at walking and talking than I was at tweeting? I was doing the familiar and unhelpful cognitive distortion of comparisons — feeling “less than” because everyone I looked at on Twitter was getting way more likes and replies than I was.
Usually I tweet just for fun, not caring about numbers; yesterday, I got caught up in comparisons and felt worse and worse. I kept tweeting, hoping I would get more responses. I didn’t. I knew I would feel better if I stopped tweeting and started walking, but I didn’t, for TWO HOURS on a BEAUTIFUL day.
This reminded me of a therapy session earlier when somebody was talking about the difficulty of breaking old patterns of taking risks with money. This person was stuck in those behaviors and in unhelpful comparisons, too, which we talked about.
I broke my own comparison/tweeting cycle by posting the tweet above, putting on my shoes, and walking the walk.
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After watching that duck swimming the swim, I tweeted this tweet:
Eventually, I stopped walking and saw impressive evidence of Michael decking the deck:
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I messaged this message to my friend Jenn, who loves pugs …
… and enjoyed eating the eats.
I prepared for blogging the blog by capturing all these other images:
As usual, the Daily Bitch is bitching the bitch.
Here’s what was playing when I was walking the walk by the sea:
I can’t believe there are only 106 likes on YouTube for that amazing performance of the wonderful “Sea Journey” by the late, great Chick Corea, who always walked the walk. Here he is walking his fingers all over the keyboards with his Elektric Band in “Side Walk”:
Who wants to comment the comment?
Thanks to all who help me walk the walk, talk the talk, tweet the tweet, and blog the blog, including YOU!
Over the years, I have heard many people say they are waiting for the other shoe to drop, meaning “to await a seemingly inevitable event, especially one that is not desirable.”
If you’re waiting for more information to drop about “waiting for the other shoe to drop,” here it is:
I know I wrote about waiting for the other shoe to drop before, here at the Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally. I’m not going to wait to drop the sole important point of one of those posts, as follows:
Waiting for the other shoe to drop is another form of fortune-telling and catastrophizing, human cognitive distortions we all do. When I realize that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, I ask myself, “What am I so afraid of? It’s just a SHOE.”
If you are waiting for my other images of the day to drop, here they are:
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I’m sick of waiting for my 2019 tax refund to drop, so I’ll be waiting on hold today for the other shoe to drop about that.
Here’s Roger Bartlett with “Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop.”
While I’m waiting for your comments to drop, I’ll drop some more gratitude on you.
Living with uncertainty is very difficult, yet we do it every day. Certainty is often an illusion — a denial of mortality and the constant changes we are barely aware of.
Here and now, as we live with the uncertainties of the pandemic and the results of the USA election, the level of uncertainty is very difficult to live with. I’m certain how this uncertainty is affecting me, my family, my friends, and my patients:
I’m uncertain how I and millions of other people are going to live with so much uncertainty in the days ahead.
In a sea of uncertainty, I’m certain that routines — like daily blogging — help. I’m certain I have new images to share but I’m uncertain exactly what they are.
I’m certain that I felt less uncertainty about the future when I took those photos than I’m feeling now.
Here‘s “The Courage to Live with Radical Uncertainty” — a Ted Talk given by “Compassion-Driven Oncologist Shekinah Elmore” in March 2020, right before our current age of uncertainty.
Here‘s “Coping with Uncertainty” by MindTools Videos:
What are your thoughts and feelings about living with uncertainty?
No matter how I’m living with uncertainty, I’m certainly grateful to all who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.
Are you ever in situations where you don’t speak up, and you’re not sure why you are silencing yourself?
I’ve noticed this in myself and in others. And this tendency to not speak up is especially critical these days, when silence can equal violence.
Besides that article about speaking up against racism (linked to in the previous paragraph), I’m also looking at a helpful article by Kevin Daum that discusses 5 Reasons You Should Speak Up (Even When You Think You Shouldn’t). For me, the highlights of that article are that
Are there other reasons to speak up? What might get in the way of you speaking up about that, here?
For me, what gets in the way of speaking up includes:
However, when I don’t speak up, I usually regret it. It’s helpful for me to
Are there reasons to speak up about my pictures from yesterday?
Please don’t be afraid of those right and wrong buzzers and speak up in a comment, below.
I also want to speak up about my friend Megan …
… who gives me the courage to speak up. Yesterday, we spoke up to each other about the pandemic, racism, privilege, our work as therapists, the death of a shared patient from COVID-19, difficult people, uncertainty, masks, politics, hopes, our children, the past, the present, the future, and our long-time friendship.
Here‘s “Speak Up, Speak Out” from Melinda Carroll:
Nothing gets in the way of my speaking up about my gratitude to all who help me create these posts and — of course! — to YOU.
Yesterday, in a therapy session, somebody talked about feeling expendable. When someone labels themselves in a painful way, I write the word up on the board, to get it out of the person’s head and so that we can look at the label with different perspectives, perhaps making the unhelpful label expendable.
A definition of “expendable” may be expendable, but I’m sharing it anyway.
ex·pend·a·ble
/ikˈspendəb(ə)l
adjective
of little significance when compared to an overall purpose, and therefore able to be abandoned.
“the region is expendable in the wider context of national politics”
synonyms: dispensable, able to be sacrificed, replaceable
(of an object) designed to be used only once and then abandoned or destroyed.
“the need for unmanned and expendable launch vehicles”
As I read that definition, it occurs to me that many people might be feeling expendable, as the current U.S. government shutdown drags on and on.
In that therapy session yesterday, I invited the expendable-feeling person to name what is opposite to expendable. Here’s one non-expendable word:
Another opposite-to-expendable word was “valuable.” Apparently a picture of that word was expendable.
Wait! I found “valuable” on this scale, which I drew on the board:
It might be valuable and appreciated, here and now, if I ask my readers these questions: Do you ever feel expendable? Appreciated? Valuable? Where are you on that scale, as you read this? What helps you feel less expendable and more valuable and appreciated?
I wonder if any of the photos in this post are expendable, appreciated, and/or valuable.
It’s always appreciated when my non-expendable boyfriend Michael asks me to dance, and last night, after his very appreciated and valuable dinner (pictured above), we danced to this music, which is the opposite of expendable to me.
I really appreciate that Michael danced with me for the full eight-and-a-half minutes of that highly valued McCoy Tyner tune.
I hope you know that your comments are very valuable and appreciated.
Finally, here is some non-expendable gratitude for all who helped me create this post and — of course! — for YOU.
