Monthly Archives: December 2020

Day 2902: What are people thinking?

Posted on December 11, 2020 by Ann Koplow

“What are people thinking?” is something I often ask in my Coping and Healing groups.

“What are people thinking?” is also something I am increasingly asking myself as I look at the news these days.

What are people thinking on Twitter recently?

What are people thinking about the photos I took yesterday?

When I search YouTube for “What are people thinking?” many of the videos focus on what rich people are thinking, which, to my way of thinking, explains a lot. Personally, I don’t care what rich people are thinking. I think people think about rich people way too much.

Here is “The Dangers of Thinking Too Much; And Thinking Too Little” (and what were people thinking punctuating that title like that?)

Here is what one person is thinking about that video:

I think that sometimes I may think too much about thinking too much.. I think.

What are people thinking about “Think” by Aretha Franklin?

What are people thinking about gratitude, here and now ?

Categories: 2020 U.S. Election, group therapy, life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: Aretha Franklin, “Think”, coping and healing groups, fish cakes, The Daily Bitch Calendar, The School of Life, the South Shore of Boston, Trump, Twitter | 25 Comments

Day 2901: Good to know

Posted on December 10, 2020 by Ann Koplow

One thousand, three hundred, and sixty days ago (it’s good to know who’s counting — me!), I wrote another post titled “Good to know.” It’s good to know that it’s still good to know things, even during these times of a deadly pandemic and deadly denial.

I hope it’s good to know that I finally got up some good courage yesterday to call the Internal Revenue Service to know about my good refund, which, as you might know, is a good many months late.

It’s good to know details, so here’s what happened:

I know how difficult it is to connect with a real person in the IRS, especially these days, so I set aside a good long time to make the call.
The automated IRS phone system gave me the same response I had gotten on-line a good many weeks ago — that the system had no knowledge of my refund — which was not good to know.
Other automated information increased my fear that something bad had happened to my refund.
I tried navigating the phone system every which way I knew, but still couldn’t get through to a real person with knowledge.
I googled “how to reach a real person at IRS” which gave me a complicated hack of the phone system including refusing to enter my social security number twice, which was very good to know.
I stayed on hold for 45 minutes, marveling that so many good people ahead of me had figured out the good-to-know hack of the phone system.
I finally spoke to a wonderful IRS employee who was home in Texas with her dogs and who was good to know. She told me the good-to-know information that there was a backlog of mailed returns and mine was among them. That was the only reason I had not received my refund, instead of all the bad-to-know fears my mind had manufactured.
She told me other good-to-know information, including (1) don’t mail in your return again, (2) don’t worry about identity thieves stealing your refund, (3) your husband’s erroneous Social Security information (which necessitated the mailing rather than the e-filing of our joint tax return) has been corrected, and (4) you go, girl, for marrying a good guy 10 years younger than you who cooks!

It’s good to know that bureaucracies can be made up of good-to-know human beings.

Are any of today’s images good to know?

It’s good to know Hanukkah is starting tonight and Michael will be making good potato latkes very soon.

Here are five good-to-know facts about Hanukkah from watchmojo.com:

Many thanks to all my good-to-know readers, including YOU.

Categories: life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: Atlantic magazine, bureaucratic phone systems, Christmas 2020, Hanukkah 2020, Internal Revenue Service, Menorah at the Brandenburg Gate, mindfulness cards, Trump, vegetarian meat loaf, watchmojo.com | 23 Comments

Day 2900: UP

Posted on December 9, 2020 by Ann Koplow

Now that I’m UP, it’s UP to me to decide how I want to start UP today’s blog post.

Cases of COVID-19 are going UP, UP, UP.

People still haven’t given UP gathering inside and going maskless. It’s UPsetting how stUPid this is.

The number of failed lawsuits in trUmP’s attempts to foul UP the Presidential election is now UP to 50, at least.

Yesterday, I was informed that my stats here were going UP.

I am always UP for a walk, no matter the time or the weather, and yesterday I noticed that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is now standing UP…

… after being hung UP like this a few days ago:

Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph, and Santa are now all UP for Christmas. Are you?

Yesterday, in my Coping and Healing group, people wanted to make UP a new name for themselves. I held UP this sign with a suggested name:

They were definitely UP for that reframe.

Now it’s time for me to put UP (or shut UP) my other pictures for today. What’s UP in these photos?

The Daily Bitch Calendar always gets me UP.

Today, I feel UP to calling the IRS about my long-delayed tax refund. I looked UP what might happen if identity thieves have stolen it. Cases of identity theft are going UP, and apparently the IRS is still UP to the task of fixing these UPsetting experiences. Also, it’s UP in the air exactly why my refund has been held UP for so long.

I will give you an UPdate about this tomorrow.

When I’m UP and out for a walk, I often listen to “The Way UP” by the Pat Metheny Group.

As always, I am UP for your comments, if you feel UP to leaving one.

I like to end UP every post with gratitude, so thanks to all who help me keep UP this daily blog, including YOU.

Categories: 2020 U.S. Presidential election, group therapy, life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: a spike in my stats, Christmas 2020, Christmas decorations, coping and healing groups, COVID-19 spikes, Identity Theft, Pat Metheny Group, taxes, The Way Up | 31 Comments

Day 2899: Insignificant

Posted on December 8, 2020 by Ann Koplow

Is it insignificant that I did NOT call the Internal Revenue System yesterday about my significantly late tax refund, despite resolving to do so in my morning blog post?

Did I not call because I dislike how insignificant I feel whenever I deal with a huge bureaucracy? Or was it because the work I needed to do yesterday (remote psychotherapy and responding to crisis calls) made my contacting the IRS insignificant in comparison? Or did I have significant fear about what I might find out — that because my identity was stolen my tax refund was stolen too?

Sometimes, my confusion about the motives for my behavior is not insignificant.

Is the actual inspiration for today’s title insignificant?

The Daily Bitch is never insignificant to me. Are today’s other images insignificant?

I’ve done significant work to try to get to the point described in that last quote. Nevertheless, my mood shifted yesterday based on the insignificant actions of somebody else. Significantly, I communicated with that person and my mood shifted again. I believe that is not insignificant, although I clearly have more significant work to do.

Here is “Insignificant” by Spencer Elliott.

I hope you know your reactions to my posts are never insignificant to me.

My expressions of thanks here are insignificant in comparison with the gratitude I feel for all who help me blog every day, including YOU!

Categories: life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy, quotes | Tags: Bruno Shulz, Calvin and Hobbes, Laurence Overmire, Mahatma Gandhi, Meaghan Barcelona, Night Sky phone app, salmon dish, Spencer Elliott, The Daily Bitch Calendar, Thomas Merton | 19 Comments

Day 2898: Waiting for the other shoe to drop

Posted on December 7, 2020 by Ann Koplow

Over the years, I have heard many people say they are waiting for the other shoe to drop, meaning “to await a seemingly inevitable event, especially one that is not desirable.”

If you’re waiting for more information to drop about “waiting for the other shoe to drop,” here it is:

I know I wrote about waiting for the other shoe to drop before, here at the Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally. I’m not going to wait to drop the sole important point of one of those posts, as follows:

Waiting for the other shoe to drop is another form of fortune-telling and catastrophizing, human cognitive distortions we all do. When I realize that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, I ask myself, “What am I so afraid of? It’s just a SHOE.”

If you are waiting for my other images of the day to drop, here they are:

I’m sick of waiting for my 2019 tax refund to drop, so I’ll be waiting on hold today for the other shoe to drop about that.

Here’s Roger Bartlett with “Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop.”

While I’m waiting for your comments to drop, I’ll drop some more gratitude on you.

Categories: cognitive behavioral therapy, definition, life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop", 2019 tax refund, letting go of fear, nuts.com, Roger Bartlett, shoes hanging from phone lines, the South Shore of Boston, vegetarian baked ziti, word of the year 2020 | 23 Comments

Day 2897: Sights we hate

Posted on December 6, 2020 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, I posted Day 2896: Sounds we hate, so it’s time to turn our sights to sights we hate.

These days, I hate the sight of

injustice,
denial,
people not wearing masks,
people wearing masks BELOW THEIR NOSES,
large gatherings,
mass hysteria,
ignorance,
criminals,
enablers,
cruelty,
deception,
poverty,
greed,
the destruction of our environment,
wasteful paper mail, and
hatred.

Are there any sights we hate in these recent sights I saw?

Rather than focus more on sights we hate, here are “Satisfying Sights That Will Help You Relax” from ZORRO.

Sights I love include comments from you, so please leave one, below.

Ready for the sight of gratitude from me?

Categories: 2020 U.S. Election, life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: climate change, December 2020, Hallmark Cards, masks, Melissa Carone, relaxing sights, Stop & Shop supermarket, Twitter, ZORRO | 27 Comments

Day 2896: Sounds we hate

Posted on December 5, 2020 by Ann Koplow

I hate the sounds of

pain,
misery,
madness,
lies,
narcissism,
grandiosity,
greed,
ignorance,
violence,
nails on a blackboard,
babies crying,
cats crying,
human screams,
racism,
sexism,
ageism,
homophobia, and
other forms of hate.

According to a study described in Medical News Today, the most hated sounds include three of the sounds I hate plus

an electric drill,
brakes on a cycle squealing,
a knife scraping against a bottle,
a ruler on a bottle,
a fork on a glass, and
chalk on a blackboard.

What sound do you think was the most hated sound? Please sound off in the comments section below about that and also about sounds you hate.

Are there any sounds we hate in my latest images?

I love the sound of Rick Wilson responding to sounds of hate with “You seem nice.”

Here’s “The Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel …

… and “The Sweetest Sounds” from the musical No Strings, sung by Diahann Carroll.

I love the sounds of gratitude, so thanks to all who help me create these daily blogs, including YOU.

Categories: 2020 U.S. Presidential election, life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: Diahann Carroll, Medical News Today, most hated sounds, No Strings, Rick Wilson, Simon & Garfunkel, Sound of Silence, The Daily Bitch Calendar, the South Shore of Boston | 28 Comments

Day 2895: Ways to cope with people who drive you mad

Posted on December 4, 2020 by Ann Koplow

I don’t know about you, but people are driving me mad these days, including:

anti-maskers,
election deniers,
conspiracy theorists,
white supremacists,
all who abuse power, and
many others too numerous to mention.

I don’t like being mad, so I just googled “people who drive you mad” and found this quote:

” People can’t drive you mad unless you give them the keys.”

Also, I found this 2014 online article “4 Ways to Cope With the People Who Drive You Mad” by Thomas G. Plante at psychologytoday.com. Far fewer people were driving me mad in 2014 than are driving me mad today, but Dr. Plante’s suggestions might still be helpful:

Maintain realistic expectations.
While you can’t control the behaviors of others, you can control your responses to it.
Let go, while keeping the big picture in mind.
Ask yourself if you’re just being too demanding.

If it’s driving you mad that I’m not giving more details about those four ways to cope, you can find the full article here.

Can you find any people who drive you mad in these recent images?

Many people drive Harley mad, and there he is maintaining realistic expectations and controlling his responses to the behaviors of others.

Did it drive you mad to notice that my top song of the year, according to Spotify, was “School Days” by Stanley Clarke, during a year when school days drove people mad?

It could drive me mad that I don’t agree with Spotify that “School Days” was my most played song of 2020, but I am not going to give Spotify the keys.

What are your ways to cope with people who drive you mad?

One of my ways to cope is to focus on gratitude, so thanks to all people and cats who helped me create today’s post, including YOU.

Categories: 2020 U.S. Presidential election, life during the pandemic, Music, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: “School Days”, baked ziti, psychologytoday.com, Spotify, Stanley Clarke, The Daily Bitch Calendar, Thomas G. Plante, Yogi Tea | 20 Comments

Day 2894: One Thing That Frightens You

Posted on December 3, 2020 by Ann Koplow

These days, it’s difficult to identify one thing that frightens me, because there are so many frightening things out there.

What frightens me on this day includes

the increase in COVID cases and death,
COVID deniers,
anti-maskers,
large gatherings of people,
systemic racism,
climate change,
the state of the world,
the state of my country,
crazy conspiracy theories,
the number of people who believe crazy conspiracy theories,
Trump’s increasingly outrageous behaviors, and
people who do not call out outrageous behaviors.

Is there one thing that frightens you in my latest photos?

Has that cow been frightened off of its base?

Things that frighten you, me, and others have inspired my new song, entitled “What’s Your Fear, My Dear?” for my frighteningly ambitious new project, Therapy: The Musical. I plan to work on my first musical during the dark and frightening weeks of the New England winter.

One thing that does NOT frighten me is sharing my ideas here, so here are some lyrics from “What’s Your Fear, My Dear?”

What’s Your Fear, My Dear?

by Ann Koplow

What’s your fear, my dear?

I really want to hear, my dear.

Do not fear sharing that

Now and here.

Flying?

It’s not so much a fear of flying

As it is a fear of dying

or falling too far,

Or of the danger of how high up you are.

Public speaking?

That’s a fear of your voice squeaking

Of your confidence leaking

In front of them all,

As your dignity suffers a fall.

Dying?

Well, my dear, I would be lying

If I said I wasn’t afraid of that too.

Does it help if I join that with you?

Here’s “Why I do something everyday that scares me,” a 2016 TED talk by Emma Van Der Merwe at the University of Edinburgh.

I fear you will miss out if you don’t watch that video.

I assume gratitude is one thing that doesn’t frighten you, so thanks to all who help me do one blogging thing each day, including YOU!

Categories: 2020 U.S. Presidential election, group therapy, inspiration, life during the pandemic, original song, personal growth | Tags: "Why I do something everyday that scares me", Emma Van Der Merwe, gratitude, letting go of fear, New England winters, South Shore of Boston, TEDx Edinburgh 2016, The Daily Bitch Calendar, tilapia dish | 18 Comments

Day 2893: Cleaning up

Posted on December 2, 2020 by Ann Koplow

During transitions, especially messy ones, there’s always cleaning up to do.

Let’s see if today’s Daily Bitch Calendar offers any support for cleaning up during these messy transition times in the USA.

Actually, my husband Michael is the one in this home who cleans it up, but I can still do my part, as you can see here:

Over the last four years I’ve had many urges to throw and break things in my home. However, I’ve been thoughtful enough of Michael’s labors to scream into pillows, punch pillows, and kick imaginary people instead.

It’s going to be very interesting watching the new administration cleaning it up in the White House, after years of somebody throwing and breaking things.

Do you see any evidence of cleaning up in today’s other photos?