It’s one of those phrases that’s good to know, because you can say it in response to almost anything anybody says to you.
My son’s friend Cameron, who is good to know (here, here, and here), uses a different all-purpose response: “That’s fair.”
My friend Lawry, who is also good to know (here, here, and here), has used this good-to-know phrase in conversations: “That’s true, but not in the South.” I hope it’s good to know that Lawry, after reading yesterday’s post about our cat peeing in my bag, sent me a different good-to-know phrase via email: “Urine trouble, Oscar.”
It would be good to know if you have any all-purpose conversational responses you think are good to know.
Are any of my photos from yesterday good to know?
I hope it’s good to know that
washing my bag totally removed the smell of Oscar’s pee,
yesterday was the first day of spring,
my manager wears very interesting ties, and
Michael made skate with roasted red pepper sauce for dinner last night.
Michael, who does all the cooking and all the laundry around here, is definitely good to know.
The worst thing that happened to me yesterday was that Oscar the cat peed in my bag, which I didn’t realize until I’d been out and about at Open Houses, with the bag on my back.
When I got back home and emptied out my bag, I realized Oscar had targeted all my house-hunting documents and one tax document. The worst thing that could happen in this post would be my speculating what Oscar was trying to tell me.
What’s the worst thing that happened to you yesterday?
Oscar peeing in my bag was not the only thing that happened to me yesterday.
What’s the best thing that happened to you yesterday? The best thing that happened to me was FaceTiming with my son Aaron in Scotland while my boyfriend Michael made Pad Thai.
What’s the best thing that could happen musically in this post? This.
The worst that could happen to me on WordPress today would be to get no comments from my readers.
One thing that’s not going to happen: my forgetting to thank all who helped me create this worst-thing-that-happened-yesterday post and you — of course! — for reading it.
No is a complete sentence and so often we forget that.
When we don’t want to do something we can simply smile and say no.
We don’t have to explain ourselves, we can just say “No”.
Early on my journey I found developing the ability to say no expanded my ability to say yes and really mean it.
My early attempts at saying no were often far from graceful but with practice even my no came from a place of love.
Love yourself enough to be able to say yes or no.”
― Susan Gregg
“Let today mark a new beginning for you. Give yourself permission to say NO without feeling guilty, mean, or selfish. Anybody who gets upset and/or expects you to say YES all of the time clearly doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Always remember: You have a right to say NO without having to explain yourself. Be at peace with your decisions.”
― Stephanie Lahart
“Say no to everything, so you can say yes to the one thing.”
― Richie Norton
“Most women are all too familiar with men like Calvin Smith. Men whose sense of prerogative renders them deaf when women say, “No thanks,” “Not interested,” or even “Fuck off, creep.”
― Jon Krakauer, Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town
“Whether they’re family or friends, manipulators are difficult to escape from. Give in to their demands and they’ll be happy enough, but if you develop a spine and start saying no, it will inevitably bring a fresh round of head games and emotional blackmail. You’ll notice that breaking free from someone else’s dominance will often result in them accusing you of being selfish. Yes, you’re selfish, because you’ve stopped doing what they want you to do for them. Wow. Can these people hear themselves?!”
― Rosie Blythe, The Princess Guide to Life
“It takes effort to say no when our heart and brains and guts and, most important, pride are yearning to say yes. Practice.”
― Cole Harmonson, Pre Middle Age: 40 Lessons in Growing the Hell Up
“He wasn’t used to people saying no, and Eby felt sorry for him, the way she’d always felt sorry for those who had everything and it still wasn’t enough.”
― Sarah Addison Allen, Lost Lake
“Information overload (on all levels) is exactly WHY you need an “ignore list”. It has never been more important to be able to say “No”
― Mani S. Sivasubramanian, How To Focus – Stop Procrastinating, Improve Your Concentration & Get Things Done – Easily!
“We must say “no” to what, in our heart, we don’t want. We must say “no” to doing things out of obligation, thereby cheating those important to us of the purest expression of our love. We must say “no” to treating ourselves, our health, our needs as not as important as someone else’s. We must say “no.”
― Suzette Hinton
“To exist here, I’ll have to become skilled in saying no—an art in which I was once well accomplished, but one I no longer care to practice.”
― Doug Cooper, Outside In
“It is extremely important to be able to make negative assertions. We must be able to say what is ‘not me’ in order to have a ‘me’. What we like has no meaning unless we know what we don’t like. Our yes has no meaning if we never say no. My chosen profession has no passion if ‘just anyone would do’. Our opinions and thoughts mean very little if there is nothing we disagree with.”
― Henry Cloud, Changes That Heal: How to Understand the Past to Ensure a Healthier Future
“If the person you’re talking with continues to press you for more or can’t seem to accept your answer, then you are being harassed. I know that sounds hard for people-pleasers to accept, but it’s true. No means no.”
― Suzette Hinton
“Many survivors have such profound deficiencies in self-protection that they can barely imagine themselves in a position of agency or choice. The idea of saying no to the emotional demands of a parent, spouse, lover or authority figure may be practically inconceivable. Thus, it is not uncommon to find adult survivors who continue to minister to the needs of those who once abused them and who continue to permit major intrusions without boundaries or limits. Adult survivors may nurse their abusers in illness, defend them in adversity, and even, in extreme cases, continue to submit to their sexual demands.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence – From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
“If something is not a “hell, YEAH!”, then it’s a “no!”
― James Altucher
“Sometimes “No” is the kindest word.”
― Vironika Tugaleva
“Learn to say “no” to the good and the advantageous, in order to receive the best.”
― Sunday Adelaja
“In order for us to practice self-control, we must have a goal. We must have something we are saying “yes” to, which necessarily comes with things that we must say “no” to. We use self-control to maneuver ourselves toward this “yes.” This goal must be entirely our own. The minute another person is choosing and managing our goals for us, we have left self-control behind.”
― Danny Silk, Keep Your Love On: Connection Communication And Boundaries.
“When you say no to the wrong people, it opens up the space for the right people to come in.”
― Joe Calloway, Magnetic: The Art of Attracting Business
“Until you learn how to confidently say NO to so many things, you shall always say YES to so many things. The real summary of a regretful life is a life that failed to balance YES and NO. Yes! A life that failed to recognize when to courageously say NO and when to confidently say YES!”
― Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
“NO” is a complete sentence. It does not require an explanation to follow. You can truly answer someone’s request with a simple No.”
― Sharon E. Rainey, The Best Part of My Day Healing Journal
“Location, location, location” is something people say in the real estate biz.
“Location, location, location” is the answer to the question
What’s important to consider when you’re buying a property?
“Location, location, location” is something I said, yesterday, in the location of my office on what I call “the busiest street in America.”
“Location, location, location” was a topic in a therapy, therapy, therapy group, yesterday.
The location, location, location of these photos are (1) on my iPhone, (2) in my blog, and (3) now appearing on a screen near you.
The location, location, location for banana peels was that trash receptacle in the Tufts Medical Center garage.
The location, location, location for that sign was a wall of Tufts Medical Center, where I went to get my INR blood levels tested yesterday morning. In the location, location, location of the United States it’s been difficult, difficult, difficult lately to separate myth from fact, but the fact is that my INR levels were in the perfect location, location, location yesterday.
The location, location, location for defibrillators include (1) the wall of Tufts Medical Center, (2) many places where people might need to be resuscitated, and (3) my body.
The location, location, location of that snow, snow, snow is near Fenway Park, Boston, USA.
The location, location, location of that white board is in my office, where I do individual therapy, group therapy, and crisis intervention. Note all the location, location, locations on that board, including Ithaca, the woods, and the suburbs.
Those are two important location, location, locations for me — the ocean and the busiest street in America.
The location, location, location of that amazing St. Patrick’s Day hat is on Anthony’s head.
The location, location, location of that sign is in the fax room at work.
The location, location, location of those gel letters is outside the nurses, nurses, nurses office where I work.
The location, location, location of that helpful, helpful, helpful saying is the white board in my office.
The location, location, location of that caterpillar roll was on my plate, at Genki Ya, our favorite Sushi Restaurant.
The location, location, location for that St. Patrick’s Day cake was Whole Foods Market.
The location, location, location of that saying was on a Yogi tea bag, in my mug, at home.
Since one of the location, location, locations on my white board yesterday was the woods, here‘s my favorite, favorite, favorite song from Into the Woods.
Please, please, please leave a comment in the location, location, location below.
The location, location, location of my gratitude for you, you, and you is always, always, always at the bottom of my posts.
Today, I have a sense of urgency about finishing this post, because I need to get my INR level tested at 8:15 before I go into work.
I often have a sense that my sense of urgency adds to anxiety and stress. If I had more sense, I’d probably let go of that sense of urgency, take a breath, and slow down.
I’m taking a breath and slowing down to share images I sensed yesterday.
Ann would say:
be aware of triggers (things that increase your anxiety),
notice and practice whatever reduces your anxiety (including self-care, being in the moment, forgiveness, etc.),
“How People Change” is a topic of extreme interest to psychotherapists.
“How People Change” was also the topic that my therapy group — filled with people who are very interested in change — discussed yesterday morning.
Therefore, “How People Change” is the topic of today’s post.
I, a person, change every day. However, I do not change certain things — like including recent photos in my daily blog.
Because I’m not sure how WordPress is changing the size of that photograph on your current screen, here’s what I wrote about “How People Change” in yesterday’s group:
Everybody changes in different ways.
Flexibility is important!
Changes we choose are much easier to tolerate than changes we do not choose.
We deal with change a lot in this group because people come and go.
After the group, I changed the “angel card” in that description of change, just for the sake of change.
What do you think of that change, people?
Do you see evidence of how people change in my other photos from yesterday?
The reality is that I recited/sang these lyrics from the David Bowie song “Changes” in group yesterday.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Don’t want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
See and hear how David Bowie changed singing “Changes” as time changed him (here, here, and here on YouTube)
“Impulse control” is a phrase we use in the psychotherapy biz.
I now have an uncontrollable impulse to share a definition.
Impulse control disorder (ICD) is a class of psychiatric disorders characterized by impulsivity – failure to resist a temptation, urge or impulse that may harm oneself or others. — Wikipedia
I am impulsively and uncontrollably thinking about impulse control this morning, probably because
the President of the United States demonstrates impulse control issues on Twitter and
some people I know have not controlled their impulses to share their doubts with me about a decision I recently made.
I hope I control my impulses in responding to people who do not control theirs.
I had photographic impulse control yesterday — I took only these four:
Please share your thoughts about impulse control in an impulsive and/or controlled comment.
As always, I shall not control my impulse to express gratitude to all who helped me impulsively create today’s post and to you — OF COURSE! — for impulsively reading it.
WINTER Storm Warning REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 5 PM EDT THIS AFTERNOON…
Locations: The I-95 corridor of Rhode Island and Massachusetts.
Hazard types: Heavy wet snow and strong winds.
Accumulations: Snow accumulation of 6 to 12 inches.
Timing: Snow develops through 8 AM this morning and becomes heavy by mid to late morning. The snow will fall at 2 to 4 inches per hour before changing to sleet and then rain between 2 and 5 PM.
IMPACTS: The heavy wet snow and strong winds may result in tree damage and scattered power outages. Roads may become impassable with very heavy snowfall rates…near blizzard conditions for a short time and strong damaging winds. Travel is not recommended.
Winds: Northeast 20 to 30 mph with gusts up to 60 mph.
Visibilities: One quarter mile or less at times.
In order to weather this weather, I’m not reporting to work today. Instead, I’ll weather whatever weather there is on Friday and work that day instead.
My internal weather report, here and now:
I’m weathering whatever weather there is, whether or not I feel strong, ready, or brave.
What’s the weather report where you are?
Here’s my pictorial weather report for the day:
How’s your internal weather, after that pictorial report?
To me, empowerment means positively realizing and using personal power.
To the dictionary, empowerment means this:
em·pow·er·ment
əmˈpouərmənt/
noun
authority or power given to someone to do something.
“individuals are given empowerment to create their own dwellings”
the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.
“political steps for the empowerment of women”
Empowerment can be a powerful matter of survival, especially when balances of power are powerfully misaligned.
Do you see empowerment in the pictures I was empowered to take yesterday?
Here are “Top 10 Girl Power Songs” from watchmojo.com on YouTube:
I now empower myself to express gratitude to all who helped me create this Empowerment post and to you — of course! — for being here, now.
