My quaesitum is to learn new things and to share them with others.
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I have many quaesitums (or quaesita), including:
group work,
spending time with those I love,
reading,
writing,
music, and
sharing my daily experiences with you.
After my second heart surgery in 1965, when I was in eighth grade, my quaesitum was to get a color TV so I could watch my favorite shows while I was recovering. Here and now, my quaesitum is to wish my first husband and the father of our son Aaron a Happy Leon Day!
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Here’s what I find when I search for “quaesitum” on YouTube.
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My quaesitum is to let people know I appreciate them, so many thanks to Mary Alicia Barnes (whose office at Tufts University is so beautifully “bloggy”), Leon, other people I love, those who heal in groups, my friends on Twitter, and — of course! — YOU!
When people with a history of trauma (which seems to include everybody, these days) are feeling shaky, anxious, and fearful, I often encourage them to focus on this helpful phrase:
It’s safer than it feels.
Yesterday, our scaredy-cat Harley was safer — even if he didn’t feel like it — when our new vet, Dr. Jo, came for a house call.
Michael, who wanted everybody to feel safer, had spent days developing a plan for how Dr. Jo could safely examine Harley and give him his shots. When Dr. Jo arrived, Michael was closed up in Aaron’s bedroom with Harley, having set up the room so there was (as Michael said), “Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.”
Dr. Jo helped us all feel safer as she quickly, efficiently, and kindly examined Harley and gave him his yearly shots, declaring our “chunky” cat safely healthy. Miraculously, Harley felt safe enough to be in plain sight minutes after we allowed him to escape from that safe room.
In the past, when Harley felt unsafe, we would see neither hide nor hair of him for hours, if not days.
Now that we have a great vet who makes house calls, we all feel safer. Can you tell that I was feeling safer when I took the rest of the photos in today’s blog?
What am I supposed to do about an important discussion from last night’s Coping and Healing group, in which we focused on radical acceptance?
Radical Acceptance means completely and totally accepting something from the depths of your soul, with your heart and your mind. You stop fighting reality. When you stop fighting you suffer less. (From “Three Blocks to Radical Acceptance” by Karyn Hall, PhD.)
What am I supposed to do about asking for comments?
What am I supposed to do about gratitude for all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — for YOU?
When you’ve been blogging as long as I have, there’s always a danger you might repeat yourself. And on May 12, 2016, I published a post also titled “Danger” (which is allowed here in The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally).
In that post, there was a drawing of a fish committing suicide. However, nature seems to be in much more danger now than it was in May, 2016.
Because I’m in danger of being late for work, I’ll quickly share yesterday’s photos, which include danger and also some ways to deal with danger.
The truth is that I knew the title of today’s post even before I reviewed my photos from yesterday.
The truth is that when I think of the truth these days, I’m on the verge of tears. The truth is that the truth seems to depend what side you’re on. The truth is that I can never remember people being so divided about what the truth is.
The truth is that I keep inviting people in my therapy groups to write helpful truths on post-it notes (which, in truth, I call “stickies”).
The truth is that the post-it note above describes the Four Agreements and the truth is that you can read more about those here.
The truth is that I took more photos yesterday.
The truth is that I didn’t mean to take the last four.
The truth is that this sign …
… includes the word “true” in it, which I just noticed.
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