Because of the kind of narrator I am, I’m going to start today’s narrative with a definition of “narrative”.
NARRATIVE
noun
1. a story or account of events, experiences, or the like, whether true or fictitious.
2. a book, literary work, etc., containing such a story.
3. the art, technique, or process of narrating, or of telling a story:
“Somerset Maugham was a master of narrative.”
4. a story that connects and explains a carefully selected set of supposedly true events, experiences, or the like, intended to support a particular viewpoint or thesis:
“to rewrite the prevailing narrative about masculinity”; “the narrative that our public schools are failing.”
Because I’m a psychotherapist who uses narrative therapy, I’m going to add to the narrative here with a description of that.
Narrative therapy is a form of psychotherapy that seeks to help people identify their values and the skills and knowledge they have to live these values, so they can effectively confront whatever problems they face. The therapist seeks to help the person co-author a new narrative about themselves by investigating the history of those qualities. Narrative therapy claims to be a social justice approach to therapeutic conversations, seeking to challenge dominant discourses that it claims shape people’s lives in destructive ways.
Yesterday, I noticed some self-destructive, outmoded, and fixed narratives, including
The people at SoundBot are sharing the narrative, above, that every moment deserves a song. Here‘s a song — which intertwines lots of narratives — that I was listening to yesterday with my new SoundBot wireless musical earmuffs:
We all have a different, personal narrative of the events of September 11, 2001, but we all share elements of that painful narrative.
I look forward to the narratives in the comments, below.
I end every narrative here with gratitude, so thanks to all who help me create these daily posts, including YOU.
Last night, before we were fortunate enough to see “Parasite” — an incredible movie about the fortunes of families from very different classes — Michael and I got bubble-gum fortunes at a restaurant nearby.
While I wasn’t fortunate enough to get a comic and fortune that was cut properly, Michael was.
If I had been fortunate enough to get that fortune about being anxious to achieve something very important and succeeding, I would have greatly appreciated that view of such a fortunate future.
Earlier that morning, I was fortunate enough to capture the images of birds flying around and around our home, casting shadows on the blinds.
Later in the day, I was fortunate enough to attend a beautiful memorial ceremony for my beloved colleague Deb Carmichael.
I believe all of us at the memorial service felt fortunate to have the opportunity to write down on those index cards our thoughts about our good fortune in knowing Deb, so we could share those with Deb’s family.
I felt fortunate when one of the speakers at the memorial service quoted something I often say:
The pain of the loss is directly proportional to the importance of the connection.
We were all fortunate to hear a song that Deb had personally chosen to be sung at her memorial service by a member of our shared professional organization and home: The Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy. While you won’t be fortunate enough to hear that rendition today, here is the song:
I feel fortunate that I can share my other photos from yesterday with you, here and now:
Please be grateful for every fortunate moment we get to share together.
It’s not unusual for “Families” to show up in my Coping and Healing groups.
Yesterday, the group chose to focus on families, telling stories about families they were born into and families they had chosen. I shared my experience of the world seeming less safe after my mother died in 2008 — when I realized I was now an orphan.
“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is different in its own way.” — Leo Tolstoy
“The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.” — Jay McInerney
“Parents were the only ones obligated to love you; from the rest of the world you had to earn it.” — Ann Brashares
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. “– George Burns
“When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching — they are your family. “– Jim Butcher
“My dear young cousin, if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the eons, it’s that you can’t give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it.” — Rick Riordan
“If you can’t get rid of the family skeleton, you might as well make it dance.” — George Bernard Shaw
“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” — Oscar Wilde
I think this topic and these quotes are especially timely, because
… the holidays are here!
Let’s see if there are families in my other photos from yesterday:
Albert Schweitzer (shown above) is a member of the family I choose, as evidenced by these quotes from him:
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”
“Sometimes our light goes out, but it is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being.”
“There are two means of refuge from the misery of life — music and cats.”
Here’s one means of refuge from the misery of life …
While I was told the guitarist was Jimmy Page, it turns out that the guitarist was either Jimmy Page or Joe Moretti AND the keyboardist was definitely Reginald Dwight, more famously known as Elton John.
It’s not unusual for me to send an email like this to Michael:
Who was the keyboardist on “It’s Not Unusual”?
One of the most famous keyboardists in rock and roll history!
Don’t cheat! Answer provided tonight!
Love,
One of the least famous keyboardists in history
It’s not unusual for me to share my latest photos.
A cat may look at a king is an English proverb that means even someone of low status has rights. A cat may look at a king implies that all people have certain minimal rights by virtue of being alive. Like many proverbs, the origin is unknown. The first printed version of the idiom a cat may look at a king was published in 1562, in The Proverbs And Epigrams Of John Heywood, “What, a cat may look on a king, ye know!” It is almost certain that the proverb existed in oral tradition long before it was written down. A cat may look at a king is a proverb that is not as popular as it was in the past, perhaps because inalienable human rights are more recognized in the present time, or perhaps because the power of kings is not what it once was.
It’s not unusual for me to appreciate any comments you might share, below.
It’s not unusual for me to express gratitude for all who help me create these daily blog post, including YOU!
When I wrote that post last June, I was definitely performing some self-transformation, as I often do with this blog. That day, I was transforming the sadness, anger, and shock I felt about somebody’s behaviors into a positive and upbeat blog post. I left some subtle clues about that transformation in my photos of book titles (which include lots of “f-cks,” one “sh-t”, and a “You Can’t Hurt Me”). That behind-the-scenes transformation helped me cheer up, move on, and face another day.
Today, I want to share transformation of a different kind. Yesterday, my Coping and Healing group transformed our roving thoughts into focused mindfulness by using the angel cards which a past transforming group member left me years ago. One of the members chose this card:
I chose this card …
… which was one of the few blank cards in the pack. When I focused on that card during the mindfulness exercise, I noticed a transformation. Somebody had tried to write something on that card, with a pen that had no ink. Can you see it?
I tilted the card into the light, to try to discover the hidden markings.
At first, I thought the hidden word (which definitely started with a “T”) was “Thankfulness” ( probably because I find thankfulness so transformative). After many moments of mindful scrutiny, I finally discovered what somebody had tried to write on that angel card, years ago.
Transformation
Then, when it was my turn to check in, I shared that transformation with the rest of the group.
Do you see transformation in any of my other recent photos?
One of the group members yesterday asked the rest of us how we would transform ourselves, if transformation was possible. Somehow, that transformed into a conversation about ducks, including
how some of us are ducks — calm on the surface with lots of action below,
the transforming coping strategy of letting things roll off one’s back, like a duck, and
Now it’s time for another transformation — I shall transform this blog post into a guessing game! Last night, Michael chose this classic Tom Jones song for us to dance to after dinner:
Michael told me that the young guitarist playing on that track later transformed into one of the most famous guitarists in rock and roll. After I guessed Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix, and others, I finally came up with the right answer. Can you?
Feel free to transform your thoughts and feelings into a comment, below.
As always, I end these posts with a transformation of thankfulness for all who help me create this daily blog, including YOU!
Two days ago, I drew this flow chart on my office white board for somebody who was trying to decide what action to take in a very difficult family situation.
Then, in a flow of synchronicity, somebody who used to participate in my Coping and Healing groups sent me this flowchart in an email:
I love the way that flow chart keeps flowing into the same conclusion.
Are you ready for the flow of lots of other photos?
Last night, my dear friend Jeanette flowed into town from Philadelphia and shared our dinner, flowing conversations, photos of a Nailed It! cake and her trick-or-treating dog Gidget, and also this:
It looks like that kitty has some opinions. Go with the flow and don’t worry about it!
Quid Pro Quo and the Apothecary:
In the early 16th century, a quid pro quo was something obtained from an apothecary. That’s because when quid pro quo (New Latin for “something for something”) was first used in English, it referred to the process of substituting one medicine for another—whether intentionally (and sometimes fraudulently) or accidentally. The meaning of the phrase was quickly extended, however, and within several decades it was being used for more general equivalent exchanges. These days, it often occurs in legal contexts.
Examples of quid pro quo in a Sentence:
In politics nobody does something for nothing: there’s always a quid pro quo involved.
.
Recent Examples on the Web:
The investigation revolved around suspicions of a quid pro quo — whether the Interior Department rejected a casino application in exchange for campaign contributions from other tribes that opposed the project.
— Ian James, azcentral, “He took down dams, freed wolves and preserved wildlands. Bruce Babbitt is still at work,” 14 July 2019
Sullivan, who secretly recorded the meeting, disputes that characterization and says the two lawmakers offered him a quid pro quo.
— James Barragán, Dallas News, “What was motive for Texas House Speaker’s secret meeting? ‘Target list’ or effort to keep GOP majority,” 23 Aug. 2019
These example sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources to reflect current usage of the word ‘quid pro quo.’ Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback.
First Known Use of quid pro quo
1582, in the meaning defined above
History and Etymology for quid pro quo
New Latin, something for something
I don’t know what a truck is doing there. These days, I would much rather see a fuel-efficient vehicle than a truck, no matter where it is. (For my readers in the UK, when I say “truck” I mean a lorry or a wagon. Now that I’ve cleared that up for you, what will you do for me?)
I can’t believe that those are the most recent examples on the web.
“Rich people show their appreciation through favors. When everyone you know has more money than they know what to do with, money stops being a useful transactional tool. So instead you offer favors. Deals. Quid pro quos. Things that involve personal personal involvement rather than money. Because when you’re that rich, your personal time is your limiting factor.” — John Scalzi, Lock In
“True friendship has no checks or balances. Once somebody starts Keeping Score, the game is over.” — Kate McGahan
“… and no man gave you a fur coat without expecting to receive something in return. Except for one’s husband, of course, who expected nothing except modest gratitude.” — Kate Atkinson, A God in Ruins
“Yes, you scratch my back and I scratch yours. But shouldn’t we, one of these evenings, sit down to figure out why our backs are always so itchy in the first place?” — Rajesh’, Random Cosmos
Let’s see if there are any quid pro quos in these recent quid-pro-photos.
I gave compliments to the chef in exchange for last night’s delicious meal.
I’m now going to post a song, from the musical Rent, which I think illustrates quid pro quo.
If you know any similar songs, feel free to share them with us all.
Many thanks to veterans, writers, performers, cooks, cats, and all those who helped me create this quid-pro-quo post, including YOU.
