Monthly Archives: June 2017

Day 1632: This place matters

Posted on June 20, 2017 by Ann Koplow

This place matters, because we’re here, now.

Your place matters, no matter where you are.

This place in downtown Boston matters:

The place where I’m writing this blog matters, even though we’re leaving it this summer. Yesterday, I took care of legal matters in selling this place.

The law matters, every place.

My office — where people learn to recognize and reduce cognitive distortions — matters.

I placed that sign back up on my office wall yesterday, because those cognitive distortions matter. Does it matter that I’ve placed parentheses around the feelings caused by those all-too-common human and automatic thoughts?

Do these photos of other places matter?

The meals that Michael places on our plates matter, because they are SO delicious.

Searching “this place” on YouTube matters.

When I was in a difficult place as a kid, seeing David McCallum on The Man from U.N.C.L.E. mattered a lot to me.

Your comments make this place matter much, much more.

Gratitude matters! That’s why I place it at the end of every post. Many thanks to all who help me place my daily blog on WordPress and — of course! — to you, for placing yourself here.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: "We've Got to Get Out of This Place", CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive distortions, David McCallum, downtown Boston, Legal Crossing, moving on, The Animals, what matters | 26 Comments

Day 1631: See

Posted on June 19, 2017 by Ann Koplow

See, I’ve already written several posts with the word “See” in the title (see Day 1354: See the love in everything, see Day 1245: What we choose to see, see Day 1202: Share how you see the world, and see Day 610: See the world). When I look at those previous posts, I see how my blogging style and choices have changed over the years. You might not see the differences, but I do.

See, the main reason I’m writing today’s “See” post is because yesterday I saw my friend Deb and we went to SEE in Harvard Square to seek new eyeglasses. See, Deb (who I’ve seen for about 50 years) and I see eye-to-eye about many things, including how great the frames are at SEE. Deb and I are a little concerned we won’t see each other as much when I move near the sea, but I see lots of fun times for us in the future.

Would you like to see the photos from SEE?

Do you see Christina in that last photo? She works at SEE and is also a counseling and psychology graduate student at Lesley University. I could see a lot of great qualities in Christina that will serve her well when she sees clients in the future.

Would you like to see my other photos from yesterday?

Can you see “Happy Father’s Day” in that sign above? I don’t get to see my late father any more, but it makes me happy to see him in this old photo of us.

multi-photo1

I see that YouTube has this song, which I remember my father singing.

I’ll be seeing you in your comments, below.

See, I am very grateful to all who helped me see and share all the elements of this post and — of course! — to you, for seeing my blog, here and now.

Categories: blogging, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "I'll Be Seeing You", Fathers Day, Harvard Square, Michael Buble, SEE, Selective Eyewear Elements, The Cat Connection | 27 Comments

Day 1630: What you seek

Posted on June 18, 2017 by Ann Koplow

As I seek for ways to begin today’s post, here’s something I found yesterday when I was seeking photos for this blog.

Here and now, I am seeking

Peace.
Health.
Love.
Connection.
Acceptance.
Forgiveness.
Kindness.
Understanding.
Nourishment.
Meaning.
Joy.

According to Rumi, all those things are seeking me.

What are you seeking? Is it possible those things are seeking you?

Here are more images from yesterday that were seeking me:

I am now seeking music for today’s post. Let’s see what’s seeking me on YouTube.

In my world today, I’l be seeking new eyeglasses so I can see better in my seeking.

Finally, thanks and appreciation to all who helped me seek and find today’s post and to you — of course! — for all that you seek.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "A World of Our Own", acceptance, Beanie Babies, gratitude, PetSmart, Rumi, Summer Shack, The Seekers, What you seek is seeking you | 21 Comments

Day 1629: What helps and what doesn’t help

Posted on June 17, 2017 by Ann Koplow

When I help people join my therapy groups, I tell them we will work on doing more of what helps and less of what doesn’t help. I help people understand that by saying, “What helps and what doesn’t help might include thoughts, behaviors, and other people.” Because it helps to change old habits by writing things down, I helpfully suggest they keep track of what helps and what doesn’t help them.

Because it helps to know you’re not alone, I explain that I also keep track of what helps and what doesn’t help me.

What helps me?

Acceptance.
Love.
Creativity.
Flexibility.
Peace.
Connection.
Nature.
Forgiveness.
Blogging.
My work.
Family.
Friends.
Groups.
Mutual healing.
Curiosity.
Openness.
Authenticity.
Music.

What doesn’t help me?

Worry.
Shame.
Guilt.
Regret.
Harsh criticism.
Cognitive distortions.
Perfectionism.
Telling myself I should have known better.

Does it help to look at these photos?

What also helps me is gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Help!", acceptance, cognitive distortions, coping and healing groups, curiosity, love, the Beatles, What Doesn't Help, What helps, worry | 24 Comments

Day 1628: Be You

Posted on June 16, 2017 by Ann Koplow

Be you.

Everybody else is taken.

Being me, I am checking whether my memory of that quote is correct. Actually, it’s

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde

“Be you” is today’s title because, to be honest, I see “be you” in several of my pictures from yesterday.

Be you and tell me if you agree.

Someone or something is being difficult: I had to restart my computer twice to post those photos. Being me, I had to let you know.

Here’s a Be-atle being him:

Please be you and leave a comment be-low.

I shall be me and express gratitude to all who helped me create this post by being them and — of course! — to you, for being you.

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Let it Be", be yourself, group therapy exercise, helpful phrases, Judaism, Muddy River, Oscar Wilde, Paul McCartney, relationships | 38 Comments

Day 1627: Love, Validation

Posted on June 15, 2017 by Ann Koplow

As I was reading the news online this morning, I felt many painful emotions. Then, I saw this headline:

Two-Headed Porpoise Just Wants Love, Validation

And I thought, “That two-headed porpoise is just like us.”

I just want love, validation for these photos I took recently.

Did you notice any love or validation in those pictures?

I looked for love, validation on YouTube and found this …

and this:

I wonder: will there be any love, validation in the comments for this post?

Love, validation, and thanks to all who helped me create today’s blog and — of course! — to YOU.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: accepting compliments, Ellie B., love, Matthew McKay, mistakes, mistakes are human, No Min Woo, Patrick Fanning, self esteem, two-headed porpoise, validation | 23 Comments

Day 1626: Emotions

Posted on June 14, 2017 by Ann Koplow

I am having some emotions as I discover that I, a licensed psychotherapist, have not yet written a blog titled “Emotions” during all these years of blogging non-judgmentally.

What emotions do you think those would be? Anger? Sadness? Fear? Happiness? Surprise? Is surprise an emotion?

Surprise! We focused on emotions during a therapy group yesterday.

Do you have any emotions when you see all the topics we could have focused on instead? (I have some emotion about the lack of focus in that photograph.) (Is disappointment an emotion? Is embarrassment an emotion?)

Do you have any emotions about all the questions I’m asking? Any emotions about my other photos from yesterday?

This photo of a tissue box in my office …

reminds me that I try to let people know that expressions of sadness and other feelings are all welcomed.

I have emotions when I notice mistakes …

… and I also have emotions when I listen to music.

No matter what emotions you’re feeling now, I hope you know they’re all welcomed here. And if you leave a comment about emotions, my emotion will be happiness.

Emotional thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and to you — of course!! (Is gratitude an emotion? Is enthusiasm? What would you include on a list of emotions?)

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Friend of the Devil", expressing emotions, Grateful Dead, list of emotions, naming emotions, recognizing emotions, welcoming emotions, Yogi Tea | 35 Comments

Day 1625: Vitality

Posted on June 13, 2017 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, when I was on Cape Cod visiting fellow blogger Mark Bialczak, his lovely and dear wife Karen, and their filled-with-vitality dog Ellie B. (a/k/a Dogamous Pyle), I noticed this:

Mark and Karen both told me I had more vitality than the last time they saw me, two years ago. I said that was probably due to my heart valve replacement last September. I told Mark he seemed much happier than when I had seen him last and he agreed, with vitality.

Spending time with wonderful people, like Mark and Karen, is very good for my vitality.

Do you see vitality in my other photos from yesterday?

Personally, I think that last photo has the most vitality.

As I face a lot of vital changes — including selling a home, buying a home, moving near the water, and returning to work full time next month — I need to preserve my vitality.

What helps preserve my vitality?

Self care.
Caring for others.
Spending time with great people.
Getting enough sleep (working on that).
Eating right.
Good vacations (so I’ll be visiting Scotland with my son in August).
Letting go of worry.
Blogging.
Listening to music.

Pat Metheny playing “Song for Bilbao” during a second encore Sunday night improved my vitality, big time.

What improves your vitality? I hope you know your comments are excellent for my vitality.

Vital thanks to all who helped me create today’s blog post and to you — of course! — for the vitality you bring here, now.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Song for Bilbao", Awesome WordPress bloggers, Cape Cod, Dennis Massachusetts, Floating Hospital for Children, In Cod We Trust, Mark Bialczak, Pat Metheny, self-care | 27 Comments

Day 1624: Questions and Answers

Posted on June 12, 2017 by Ann Koplow

Question: What did I do yesterday?

Answer: I attended a lecture and demonstration group by world-renowned Group Psychotherapy expert Dr. Molyn Leszcz.

Question: What kind of questions does Dr. Leszcz ask people in therapy groups?

Answer: “What are you thinking?” “How do you feel right now?” “What is your hunch about that?” “How do you think other people are experiencing you?” “What do you want people to know about you?” “What are you going to do next?” “What did you see?” “How would you like to work on that in the group?”

Question: Does Dr. Leszcz think that working in the here and now is good?

Answer:

Question: What did I do last night?

Answer: I went to a Pat Metheny concert.

Question: Whom did I meet there?

Answer: Gabe, who is a jazz guitar student at Berklee.

Question: What’s the first question Gabe asked me?

Answer: “Are you a musician?”

Question: What question did I ask Gabe?

Answer: “Do you have any music on YouTube?”

Question: What did Gabe say?

Answer: “Yes.”

Question: What Pat Metheny tune did Gabe and I name as a particular favorite?

Answer: Question and Answer.

Question: Did Pat play that tune last night?

Answer: YES!

Question: Did I take any other photos yesterday?

Answer: What do you think?

Question: What am I doing today?

Answer: I am going to the bank in preparation for selling my condo, getting an INR blood test at the hospital, and driving down the Cape to visit with fellow blogger Mark Bialczak and his dear wife Karen!

Question: Should you leave a comment about today’s blog?

Answer: Yes, please.

Question: Who should I thank, here and now?

Answer: Everybody who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — YOU.

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Question and Answer", Dr. Molyn Leszcz, Gabriel Childs, group therapy questions, Mark Bialczak, Pat Metheny, Sabis Jazz Quartet, the here and now, working in the here and now | 20 Comments

Day 1623: What thoughts intimidate you?

Posted on June 11, 2017 by Ann Koplow

What thoughts intimidate you?

Your own thoughts?

Other people’s thoughts?

These days, I am more intimidated by my own unhelpful thoughts than I am by other people’s thoughts.

Any thoughts about my photos from yesterday?

Do any of those thoughts or photos intimidate you?

Yesterday, I was not intimidated by the thought of becoming President of the Northeastern Society of Group Psychotherapy (NSGP). Nobody else seemed intimidated by the thought of that, either.

Tonight, after another full day at the NSGP annual conference, I’m going to see the intimidatingly talented jazz guitarist, Pat Metheny. I just searched for “Pat Metheny intimidating” in YouTube, and here‘s what came up:

Please leave any thoughts in a comment, below.

Thoughtful thanks to NSGP, to Erica (a board member from the New York affiliate group therapy organization), to Steve Cadwell (who ran yesterday’s “Group Therapy as Theater” Workshop), to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., to Pat Metheny, to everyone else who helped me create this (I hope!) non-intimidating post and — of course! — to YOU.