Posts Tagged With: “Help!”

Day 3375: Asking for help

Posted on March 29, 2022 by Ann Koplow

Asking for help is difficult for me and for most people I know.

Why is asking for help so difficult? Is it

the wish to be independent?
based on bad experiences asking for help in the past?
the fear of rejection?
a fear of bothering others?
wanting to avoid unpleasant feelings in oneself and in other people?
a belief in the fragility of relationships?
counter to one’s self image as a helper to others?
an inability to find the right time and the right words?

Rather than ask for help, I will go to long and elaborate lengths to solve and accomplish things on my own. When I consider asking for help, I imagine other people’s negative reactions in words and facial expressions. When I do ask for help, I often preface it with “I have trouble asking for help.”

I feel like I need to ask for help in understanding why it is sooooo difficult to ask for help, considering that when I do ask for help, it usually turns out okay. Nevertheless, what sticks in my mind are the times that asking for help did not go well.

Help!

Last night on Twitter, I asked about what people had trouble asking for, and a vast majority of the hundreds of people answering said “help.”

Does it help to know you are not alone if you have trouble asking for help?

I’m relieved that I don’t have to ask for help in gathering and sharing my images for today.

We don’t have to get our lives in order in order to ask for help, you know.

I didn’t need help finding helpful videos to share today, including this …

… and especially this:

Now I’m asking for help, specifically your comments about this post.

See? (I am saying to myself.) That wasn’t so difficult!

Thanks to all who help me maintain the confidence to create and share this blog every day, including YOU!

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Help!", Asking for help is a strength not a weakness, cats, difficulties asking for help, March 29 2022 National Days, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottleib, Michele L. Sullivan, salmon dish, the Beatles, The Daily Bitch Calendar, Twitter | 5 Comments

Day 2385: I Need Your Help.

Posted on July 13, 2019 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, in a therapy group, we talked about how difficult it is to ask others for help. I wrote this up on the white board to remind people about how to ask for help:

Today, I need your help. I have to submit a 340-character blurb and a photo about my Edinburgh Free Fringe show — Group “Therapy” with Ann — tomorrow at the latest, so it can be included in the published version of the Wee Blue Book, listing all the Free Fringe shows. (Here‘s a link to the current listings in that book.)

Here’s what I’ve got, so far, for my blurb:

If you want a taste of group therapy with a trained professional who writes songs like “Everybody’s Somebody’s A**hole,” don’t miss this ONE TIME ONLY show. Find out just enough about yourself and others to feel better. “This could work.” – Scottish comedian Raymond Mearns. “That’s my mother.” – award-winning comedian Aaron Fairbanks.

If you saw that amongst hundreds of other show descriptions, might you attend that show?

The accompanying photo has to be small and square, and I’m considering one of these, taken last year during the Edinburgh Fringe Festival by my son Aaron’s friend Camilla:

Photo 1:

Photo 2:

Photo 3:

Photo 4:

Photo 5:

I need your help in deciding which of those photos might be best.

When I have lots of choices and am under a deadline, sometimes I feel like this:

Here‘s an appropriate song for today:

Many thanks to all those who help others, here, there and everywhere, including YOU!

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Help!", asking for help, Edinburgh Free Fringe, Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Group Therapy with Ann, Raymond Mearns, the Beatles | 45 Comments

Day 1629: What helps and what doesn’t help

Posted on June 17, 2017 by Ann Koplow

When I help people join my therapy groups, I tell them we will work on doing more of what helps and less of what doesn’t help. I help people understand that by saying, “What helps and what doesn’t help might include thoughts, behaviors, and other people.” Because it helps to change old habits by writing things down, I helpfully suggest they keep track of what helps and what doesn’t help them.

Because it helps to know you’re not alone, I explain that I also keep track of what helps and what doesn’t help me.

What helps me?