Who do you miss in your life, here and now?
Sometimes, I am more aware of who I am missing than I am of who’s here. Then, I redirect my awareness and attention to those who are showing up.
That helps.
Who do you miss in my recent photos?
I miss the person who is singing “Miss Otis Regrets.”
Would you miss me if I didn’t express my thanks, for being here, at the end of each blog post?
Because I am so aware of loss and change right now, here are some quotes about “Loss and Change.”
Loss is nothing else but change, and change is nature’s delight. — Marcus Aurelius
People lose people, we lose things in our life as we’re constantly growing and changing. That’s what life is, is change, and a lot of that is loss. It’s what you gain from that loss that is life. — Thomas Jane
When you have a tough loss, go through it and agonize. I had one loss that I still want to change, but at the same time I realize it is an important part of who I am. — Andrew Shue
There is so much inherent drama in the matter of change. Disappointment in yourself and others, coping with the fact that life is essentially a shipwreck, becoming a person you yourself could not imagine yourself to be, for good and for bad, and then ultimately there is the basic matter of loss. — Jane Hamilton
The garden is growth and change and that means loss as well as constant new treasures to make up for a few disasters. — May Sarton
Do you see loss and/or change in my photos from yesterday?
I changed my framing of “CARE” to “CA” above because of an upcoming change: I’m flying to CA for a group therapy conference in three weeks. Chances are that I’ll experience and witness change, loss, disasters, and treasures while I’m there.
I was very aware of the loss of Bob Marley yesterday, because of this:
Any thoughts or feelings about loss and change?
Something that doesn’t change: how I notice and share thanks with YOU.
Exactly two hundred and seventy-one days/posts ago (but whose choice is it to count?), I published a post titled “Choices” in which I chose to share an exercise about the topic of “Choices” from a therapy group the day before. Today, my repetitive choice is to mention yesterday’s therapy group, wherein people made choices to focus on the topic “Choices” from all the topics discussed and to share (1) important choices from the past, (2) choices coming up for them, and (3) what makes choices more difficult or easier.
My photographic choices yesterday included these choice images:
Note that a patient made the choice of “anticipation” over “hopelessness” from the feeling chart on my office door:
Also, I didn’t make the choice to photograph my list of important life choices, which included:
What important life choices have you made?
Earlier this week, I made the choice to ask Nat — a social work intern and fellow musician — to write a song with me, which we will choose to perform together, singing close and choice harmonies, at a future open mic.. Together Nat and I have already made some choices including this one: I write the lyrics and Nat writes the music.
My choice is to share these lyrics with you:
Nobody’s Perfect
lyrics by Ann Koplow
Nobody’s perfect
Even us two.
We try to be perfect
But that doesn’t do.
We both make mistakes,
In that, we’re like you.
Nobody’s perfect.
That’s perfectly true.
Nobody’s perfect,
Including your friends.
If you’re looking for perfection
Those friendships might end.
Your friends make mistakes,
In that, they’re like you.
Nobody’s perfect.
That’s perfectly true.
Perfectionism makes us imperfectly judgy,
Rigid, unhappy, refusing to budge-y,
It makes thoughts and feelings uncomfortably sludgey
With harsh self-flagellation even if you’re just pudgy.
Nobody’s perfect,
Even a star.
Stars may need to look perfect
But they seldom are.
They all make mistakes,
In that they’re like you.
Nobody’s perfect
And that’s perfectly true.
© Ann Koplow, 2019
Nat chose to tell me he’s glad we’re writing a song together with the choice words “self-flagellation.”
Nat made the choice yesterday to send me some choice music he’s already composed for “Nobody’s Perfect.” Soon, we’ll be making more musical choices together, including featuring the choice fiddle stylings of our talented co-worker, Alice Malone.
Other people have made the choice to write songs titled “Nobody’s Perfect” including this one:
I wonder what choices my readers will make in the comments section, below.
As always, I make the choice to end my posts with gratitude for all those who helped me create this post and — of course! — YOU, for making the choice to visit this blog, here and now.
Lately, I’ve been getting lots of news that sux. That news has included:
When there’s so much news that sux, it helps me to share my feelings and thoughts with others. Right before I started writing this post, a friend and I wrote “Sux” to each other on Messenger.
It also helps me to take in and share what’s not sucking around me.
It sux when there are demons in your life, but there always are, so why not name them, as suggested by that mindfulness card, above? When I first read the front of that card “Name the demons,” I sucked in my breath as I imagined naming them “Fred,” “Gertrude” or “Charlie.”
It sux that I have to get to work early this morning, so here’s what I can quickly find on YouTube for “Sux.”
Here’s what comes up for “Sux Music”:
I notice connections between those two “sux” videos about what sux.
It never sux to experience and express gratitude for what you do have, so thanks to all who helped me write this “”Sux” post and — of course! — to YOU.
Fancy meeting you here, dear readers!
Do you fancy an explanation of that phrase, from italki.com?
Best Answer – Chosen by Voting
Imagine meeting you here. In this context, fancy means to form a mental image of something (in your sentence, the something is meeting you here). The phrase “Fancy meeting you here” usually means that the speaker is surprised by the fact that you are here, it was an unexpected occurence.
Fancy that best answer including a misspelling of “occurrence” since that’s a word I can never remember how to spell (and I just had to look it up using my fancy laptop).
Fancy our meeting all these things yesterday during our weekly shopping trip to the supermarket:
Fancy meeting a robot at a supermarket! That fancy spill-seeking robot, named Marty, roamed up and down the aisles, sometimes got stuck, and was hunted by that little girl and by me. Do you fancy meeting Marty?
Some of the workers at that supermarket did not fancy that fancy robot. Fancy that!
Fancy seeing more of my fancy fotos from yesterday?
Fancy the New England Patriots winning another Super Bowl!
I fancy meeting you in a comment, below.
As always, I end with fancy thanks to all who helped me create this post and to you, for meeting me here.
Yesterday, for my birthday, I saw a great production of the wonderful play Small Mouth Sounds, about a group of six people at a silent retreat.
Before the play started, my boyfriend Michael made a small mouth sound when he noticed the incredible coincidence of his twin brother (who never goes to the theater) attending the same performance of the play. About 40 minutes into the play, I made a small mouth sound when I realized that I had neglected to leave my car key with the valet at the parking garage which was a twenty-minute walk away from the theater. I made several small mouth sounds as I wrestled with the decision of whether to disturb people in the theater to try to contact the parking garage or to stay in my seat and allow my keyless car to perhaps create havoc where I had left it.
Michael and I made small mouth sounds as we communicated silently about my dilemma, echoing the action in the play, where the characters had taken a vow of silence for a five-day mindfulness retreat. Michael mouthed and gestured “Call them!” It took me ten minutes to decide what to do while my brain made small sounds (interfering with my ability to hear the small sounds of the play) like these:
How could I have done that? Why am I realizing NOW that I forgot to leave the key? Wouldn’t it have been more effective if that thought had occurred to me during our long and circuitous walk to the theater? Could it have been the fear of being late for the play or the distraction of immediately being asked directions by another theater goer who was also confused about where the play was and who accompanied us on our search for the location? Why didn’t the parking valet run after us after realizing that I had forgotten to leave the key? Why haven’t they tried to contact me through the parking app? Have they towed my car? Is this going to ruin my or anybody else’s day? How do I get out of this long row of people and unobtrusively leave the theater when the audience is staring at each other across the center stage and the actors are maintaining such a delicate and effective balance of comedy and tragedy in this almost-silent 110-minute play without an intermission?
Eventually, I made the smallest sounds possible leaving the theater and contacting the parking garage, finally reaching somebody who made small and kind mouth sounds reassuring me that my car and everything else was okay.
After the play, Michael and his twin brother made small mouth sounds telling me what I had missed during my absence, including the cute guy in the play getting completely naked. I made a small mouth sound indicating that I thought they were kidding, but they weren’t.
Michael and I made our way back to the parking garage, making small mouth sounds all the way. There, the nice parking attendant, who had made small mouth sounds with me on the phone, told me I had left the car running, so the valet had no trouble parking it and getting it out of the way. While he was talking to us about this, he made a small mouth sound when he was informed that SOMEBODY ELSE had just left the parking garage without leaving their key. Because that car wasn’t running, somebody ran after that other forgetful parker, making large mouth sounds to call him back.
Then, Michael and I went to my favorite restaurant, Bistro 5, where I made small mouth sounds eating the 5-course chocolate tasting menu. I hope that didn’t disturb Michael, who probably has the genetic tendency of being bothered by the small mouth sounds of other people chewing food.
You may make small mouth sounds when you look at my latest photos:
I look forward to using that gift from Michael of the USB microphone to record the small mouth sounds of my original songs.
I also look forward to seeing my friend and comedian’s comedian Ron Lynch in L.A. at his Tomorrow Show on March 3. Here and here are YouTube videos of Ron and audience members making many mouth sounds at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival.
I’ll be making small mouth sounds of appreciation for any comment you leave, below.
I’m now making large mouth sounds of gratitude for all who helped me create this post and — of course! — YOU.
Happy groundhog day! Isn’t this a cute photo of a groundhog?
That’s my cute Facebook profile photo today, because Groundhog Day is my birthday!
Yesterday, I heard the word “cute” several times — when I listened to this recording of my latest open mic performance …
… and when I showed my boyfriend Michael Malone the birthday card with original art created by my newest good friend Alice Malone (no relation between those two cute Malones).
I think Alice Malone’s drawing of a tiger looking at ties is much more than cute. Don’t you?
I don’t think it’s cute how there’s a delay between my taking photos on my iPhone and my ability to post them in my blog, especially when I deliberately take pictures of things I think are cute. However, I will share all my other new photos from yesterday and share those other cute photos when they turn up (probably tomorrow).
If you decide you want a closer look at the cuteness in those photos, give a cute click on the photo of your choice.
While I am creating this blog post, a lot of cute people are distracting me (as I was distracted during my “cute” performance last night by a cute kid dancing in front of the audience) by wishing me a happy birthday.
I’m going to make another cute try and see if I can access those other cute photos.
Here they are!
Here’s a cuter and closer look at Alice Malone’s website:
Don’t let the perfect get in the way of the good! That’s a cute and helpful saying.
I look forward to many cute comments, below.
Thanks to those who helped me create this cute post and to all who helped me make it to age 66!
Yesterday, when people were putting themselves out there in a group therapy session, I put this out there on a white board in the group room:
What happens when you put yourself out there? What out there gets in the way of your putting yourself out there more?
Tonight, I’ll be putting myself out there at an Open Mic, as I debut my latest original song, “What are other people thinking about you?” I’ll be putting a keyboard out there on the stage and putting, myself, out another blog post tomorrow with a recording of that performance.
Empathy involves putting ourselves out there into other people’s shoes. What happens when I put these photos out there?
I’m putting myself out there to share that in yesterday’s therapy group, we talked about shoulds and transforming unhelpful shoulds like “I should exercise more” into “I could exercise more and I choose to do other things to sustain myself until I feel ready to exercise.”
I’m putting “Putting Yourself Out There” from the movie Eighth Grade out here in this post:
I’m putting myself out there to state that Eighth Grade deserved some Oscar nominations, instead of receiving none, which makes me very put out.
Please consider putting yourself out there in a comment, below.
As usual, I’m putting gratitude out there, for all who helped me put out this post and — of course! — YOU, for putting up with me.
