traveling to attend the funeral of my friend, Hillel, tomorrow,
love,
appreciation,
sorrow,
memories,
being in the moment,
hope for the future,
me, and
you.
Today it’s all about the photos I took yesterday to self soothe in the midst of loss.
Today it’s all about missing the cats and Michael but it’s also about appreciating the lovely woman from my high school who is welcoming me into her home this evening so we can drive together to Hillel’s funeral tomorrow.
These days, it can be difficult to love what you see, despite your best intentions to do so.
Yesterday, in the midst of seeing too much
injustice,
harsh judgment,
insensitivity,
insecurity,
greed,
violence,
pain,
suffering,
cruelty,
hurtful actions,
thoughtlessness,
loss,
lies,
close-mindedness,
emptiness, and
crises,
I practiced the skill of loving what I see.
Do you love what you see here?
I loved seeing that giant baby head at Boston’s Museum of Fine Arts yesterday and I also loved seeing Michael ask my son Aaron if he thought the rest of that baby was underground.
I do not love seeing or saying goodbyes ….
… but I will be saying goodbye to Boston and Michael tonight and hello to Edinburgh (which I love) tomorrow. I’m sure I’ll love what I see in Edinburgh.
Today is the 11th anniversary of my late mother’s passing, according to the lunar Hebrew calendar AND the solar Gregorian calendar. To honor her memory, I lit a Yahrzeit candle:
This is the obituary of my mother that’s still online:
Louise (Sulkin) Koplow
Entered into rest August 12 at the age of 90 years, of Peabody, formerly of Lynn & Swampscott. Beloved wife of the late Aaron Koplow. Devoted mother of Ellen Koplow of Medford & Ann Koplow of Brighton. Cherished grandmother of Aaron David Fairbanks of Brighton. Loving sister of the late Emma Gordon, Elizabeth Rich, Esther Sulkin, Beatrice Plane, Ernest & Louis Sulkin. Dear aunt of many nieces, nephews, grand nieces, grand nephews & their families. She also leaves a large group of friends that she has known for decades. Services at Stanetsky-Hymanson Memorial Chapel, 10 Vinnin Street, SALEM/SWAMPSCOTT line on Thursday, Aug. 14 at 1:00 p.m. Interment at Cong. Ahabat Shalom Memorial Park, Danvers. Memorial week through Tuesday, August 19, daily from 2-5pm and 7-9pm at Woodbridge Assisted Living, 240 Lynnfield St, Peabody. In lieu of flowers, expressions of sympathy may be made in her memory to the American Heart Assoc., 20 Speen St., Framingham, MA 01701.
I miss my mother, who had a huge influence on me, every day. As the years go by, I have more “conversations” with her in my head. I can still hear her voice, saying my name, with a mixture of love, concern, worry, and anticipation. Here are other things I can hear her say, in her special voice:
Everything worth doing is worth doing well.
There’s a place for everything and everything in its place.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
I can also hear her infectious laugh and see her dancing and clapping at holidays and celebrations. She loved my father’s sense of humor but she would kick him under the table when she thought he had gone too far with a teasing joke. She was thoughtful, kind, and welcoming to all. She didn’t like surprises, but she appreciated the wedding anniversary surprise party my sister organized for our parents. My mother loved living near the ocean and she spent a lot of time in the sun on the beach.
My mother was very clean and neat and she did not want a pet in our house. However, after my first heart surgery at age 10, she let me get my heart’s desire — a kitty. She loved that cat, too, and after Tuffy died at age 13, my mother told me she saw a bird in the yard she thought was Tuffy reincarnated. Although reincarnation didn’t really fit in with the Orthodox Jewish beliefs my mother adopted after she married my father, I think that reflected how she chose to grieve — to believe that a beloved spirit still existed. Like my mother did with Tuffy, I see my mother in other beings, everywhere.
Yesterday, consciously or unconsciously, I took many photos to fit today’s post.
Here’s a favorite photo of my mother:
Here‘s a song that my father sang to my mother on another anniversary celebration:
Thanks to my mother, to all who loved her, and to you — of course! — for reading this post, today.
Those photos show my friend, Deb, and her lovely garden and home (with new vinyl flooring!). If you particularly love any of those photos, please click on it to make it larger.
I particularly love this image from Deb’s home:
That says, “CALL ON GOD BUT ROW AWAY FROM THE ROCKS”
Do your pets love you?
My boyfriend Michael (who loves me), recently told me about an article he read that said dogs were not capable of love. If dogs are not capable of love, what are cats capable of?
Yesterday, when several of us were living with intention and saying goodbye to our long-time social work manager (who always has the best intentions), I saw this:
live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. play with abandon. practice wellness. laugh. risk love. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. choose with no regret. stand by your family. celebrate the holidays that make sense. lead or follow a leader. do what you love. live as if this is all there is. — mary anne radmacher
I copied those words-to-live-by with intention, so I could “remember and do what matters” (another intentional quote by Mary Anne Radmacher).
Steve, the social work manager who is retiring, has lived with intention where we work for almost forty years. If it wasn’t for his intention, I would not be living and working with intention as I am now. Steve posted my position eight years ago through the Northeastern Society of Group Psychotherapy, intentionally stating he was looking for somebody with “a passion for groups.”
Last night, I told Steve that I had quoted him, with intention, in my group that day, as follows:
If you click on that “Never worry alone” link with intention, you’ll see that I quoted Steve in this intentionally daily blog one thousand, five hundred and sixty-six days ago (but who’s counting with intention?).
Steve spoke with intention last night, ending with “I love you all.”
I shall now share my other photos from yesterday, with intention.
As my mother (who loved the ocean, animals, and her family) used to say, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” So how do I celebrate her birthday and Earth Day well?
Here’s a card I saw yesterday that seems like something else my mother would say to me:
I can do this: I can tell you that I love my mother and Mother Earth very much and I try to celebrate them every day.
Here are almost all my other photos from yesterday:
Why, I love this card that I saw yesterday in a hospital gift shop!
I love those reasons for why somebody loves somebody else. Here’s why I love that pie chart: it gives the most pie to “You Make Me Laugh.”
I also love the idea of making a pie chart of why you love yourself, because as RuPaul says at the end of every episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race,
If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?
I love that video of the lovely and loving RuPaul advocating self-love over and over again, because it bears repeating. I also love that Denes Fernando‘s compilation video has unanimous love — NO thumbs down on YouTube, at this lovely moment.
Here are more reasons why I love taking pictures for this blog:
I love blogging and I love inviting you, here and now, to share why you love anything, anyone, and especially YOU.
Last night, in a therapy group, people were declaring that the U.S. President declaring a national emergency seemed like a national emergency to them. Some people declared that the election of Donald Trump seemed more like a national emergency than 9/11. Somebody else declared that the U.S. President setting the precedent of declaring this national emergency paved the way for a national emergency about climate change.
I’m declaring a national emergency of worry, shame, and guilt.
I’m declaring that the people I meet, every day, who suffer worry, shame, and guilt are not people who deserve to have those excessively painful feelings. I’m declaring that I’m doubtful that the people declaring a national emergency today have worry, shame, and guilt about that.
Are there any other emergencies declared in my other photos from yesterday?
I’m declaring a national emergency of peace and love.
OMG! It’s about time, because it’s my two thousand, one hundred, and eighty-sixth* consecutive post!
OMG! Here’s the inspiration for today’s post title!
OMG! It was Christmas yesterday and here are the rest of my OMG! It’s Christmas photos!
OMG! Did you get a good look at that cat ornament on Michael’s sister’s Christmas tree?
OMG! Michael’s sister Lydia …
… loves to skate and loves Snoopy, so it makes sense that her husband Bob (who’s OMG! at the stove in that picture) gave her this OMG! Christmas present last year:
OMG! Bob gave Lydia another skating Snoopy this year!
OMG! I didn’t take a video of that one in motion.
OMG! I’m looking forward to your comments.
OMG! I am so grateful to those who help me create all my OMG! blog posts and to you — OMG! — for reading them. And — OMG! — I hope you had a Merry Christmas, Catmas,
or whatever day you celebrated. OMG!
____________________________
*OMG! When I first published this I thought it was post #2222, but it’s never too late to correct your mistakes.
Three days ago, I facilitated a retreat for the board of directors of a professional group psychotherapy association. During that retreat, I invited people to identify “threads,” defined as the important issues that
run through the history of the association,
keep coming up during retreats and other discussions about the association, and
connect people to the association.
As I was thinking about threads in preparation for that retreat, I noticed threads everywhere, including on this pair of gloves.
Here are some threads from the retreat:
At the end of the retreat, everybody there had taken ownership of some threads that were important to them. The threads I chose included resolving conflict and making the organization more accessible to current and future members. As I become President of the organization on July 1, I hope to help people develop the threads that are important to them and weave them together into a strong and healthy tapestry.
Today, I’m thinking about the threads that run through this blog. Five of the strongest threads are love, group work, hearts, food, and cats.
Another thread is photography.
Another strong thread in this blog is music, but I need to leave now to get to physical therapy on time. Perhaps I’ll add that thread later.
What threads are important to you?
Gratitude is another strong thread in this blog, so …