Monthly Archives: September 2019

Day 2444: Different

Posted on September 10, 2019 by Ann Koplow

Although I’ve published many different posts, including Day 2358: A little bit different, Day 1930: Lucky to be different, Day 1835: Different ways to say things, Day 1762: Different parts, Day 1726: Different perspectives, Day 972: Intentionally Different, Day 689: Different styles, Day 690: Different styles (continued), and Day 453: Different languages (and dances), this post is different from all the other ones, just as each one of us is different from everybody else.

When I give a 5-minute talk at my college reunion on September 21, I’m going to stress how different I am, with this beginning:

Everybody our age remembers where they were and what they were doing on November 22, 1963. I’m different from the rest of you. I have no memories of that day, because I was having heart surgery to receive my first cardiac pacemaker.

Every time I rewrite that opening, it’s different, but the meaning remains the same.

This post is different because it has only three photos.

Today is going to be different because

I’ll be facilitating a different version of my Coping and Healing groups for staff at the Primary Care Practice of the major Boston hospital where I work and
each day is different from what we expect.

Last night, I asked my boyfriend Michael — who is different from everybody else — if he thought that staff group would go okay today. He said (in different words), “Why should this be different from every other time you’ve done this before?”

Here’s “Dare to be Different” by Donovan (with a slideshow of different photos created by passage2truth):

As always, I care about your different thoughts and feelings about this post.

There are many different ways to express gratitude to those who help me create this blog and to those who read it, and here are some of them:

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Dare to be Different", cardiac pacemaker, coping and healing groups, Donovan, gratitude, John F. Kennedy's assassination, living with a heart condition, living with CHD, November 22 1963, salmon dish | 17 Comments

Day 2443: Why should we care?

Posted on September 9, 2019 by Ann Koplow

Since last month, when somebody told me that something I wrote didn’t pass the “Why should I care?” test, I’ve cared too much about that comment. I’ve tried to let go of caring so much about that by

rewriting very carefully,
caring about other things,
spending time with people I care about and who care about me,
starting a new original song, “Why Should You Care?”, and
caring to take this picture:

Sometimes it seems like cats and people don’t care, but why should we care about that? Let’s just keep caring anyway.

Here are the beginning lyrics of “Why Should You Care?”

Why Should You Care?

by Ann Koplow

Why should you care about me?

Why should I care about you?

If I should share about me,

Maybe you’ll share about you.

© Ann Koplow, 2019

Why should we care about the other photos I took yesterday?

Why should we care about “Why Should I Care?” sung by Diana Krall?

I not only care, I express my caring with gratitude at the end of every post. Thanks to all who helped me create this “Why Should We Care?” post and — of course! — to you, my caring readers.

Categories: original song, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Why Should I Care?", changing habits, chicken linguini with cream sauce, communication, dealing with criticism, Diana Krall, Hallmark Cards, magazines about dogs, rewriting, Stop & Shop supermarket | 28 Comments

Day 2442: Learning how to be brave

Posted on September 8, 2019 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, when I was brave enough to visit the Broken Tail Rescue cat adoption center in Cambridge, Massachusetts, I noticed this description of two of the kitties there:

Luna is learning how to be brave by following her brother’s lead, says the description.

I think Luna is learning a lot — she’s up front and seems fearless. I also think her brother, Ray, is learning from her.

I’ve been learning how to be brave my whole life, which I’ll be describing in a 5-minute talk at my 45th college reunion in two weeks. Learning how to be brave includes:

following good role models,
feeling the fear and doing it anyway,
letting go of harsh judgments,
having faith in your process,
accepting all your feelings,
being kind to yourself and others,
carrying supportive people in your heart and mind,
committing to the here and now,
learning from everything, and
telling your story authentically.

I’ll be using those “Learning how to be brave” guidelines when I’m bravely telling my story authentically in front of hundreds of people, soon.

I was learning how to be brave when I took these other photos yesterday:

Harley is learning to be brave by being up off the floor.

What can we learn from Harry Potter: How to be Brave?

How are you learning to be brave?

Thanks to all the brave and learning ones who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to you, my brave reader.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Harry Potter: How to be Brave, being in the here and now, Belmont Massachusetts, BlueQ socks, bravery, Broken tail rescue, Fresh Pond Shopping Center, Harry Potter and the Sacred Text, Monarch butterflies, pangolins, the South Shore of Boston | 25 Comments

Day 2441: Can’t stop, won’t stop

Posted on September 7, 2019 by Ann Koplow

I can’t stop, won’t stop

blogging,
letting go of the past,
having hope for the future,
enjoying the riches of the present moment,
writing original songs,
telling everybody about the healing power of groups, and
taking photos of what I see around me.

I can’t stop, won’t stop posting videos of my performances even though I have — OMG! — only 18 subscribers to my YouTube channel. Here’s the latest video:

Can’t stop, won’t stop singing about triggers until all the worst triggers go away.

Can’t stop, won’t stop expressing gratitude to all who help me keep going every day, including YOU.

Categories: group therapy, original song, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: coping and healing groups, Dealing with loss, gratitude, Inquisitive Dragon YouTube channel, Jam'n Java Open Mic, moving on, September 2019, Starbucks, triggers | 18 Comments

Day 2440: It’s okay!

Posted on September 6, 2019 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, somebody in a “Coping and Healing” group suggested that we share thoughts and feelings about “It’s okay,” especially since the week before we had focused on “It’s NOT okay.”

I hope it’s okay that I share what I wrote in that group:

It’s okay that my “It’s okay!” poem is on its side.

Here are more photos residing on my okay iPhone:

It’s okay that I missed last night’s spectacular sunset, because I was facilitating the Coping and Healing group. Yes, somebody else took that much-more-than-okay last photo.

Here‘s OK (Anxiety Anthem) by Mabel:

Whatever comment you choose to leave, it’s okay.

I know it’s okay for me to end these posts with gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me create another okay post and — of course! — to YOU.

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: acceptance, coping and healing groups, coping strategies, Dealing with loss, gratitude, Mabel, OK (Anxiety Anthem), self acceptance, South Shore of Boston, spectacular sunset | 18 Comments

Day 2439: Dealing with change

Posted on September 5, 2019 by Ann Koplow

As I’m dealing with change, the morning after the funeral of my good friend Hillel, I’m dealing with searching all my 2,438 previous blog posts for “dealing with change.” The top result of that “dealing with change” search is Day 1888: Well … THEY WERE WRONG which, among other things, deals with climate change. Climate change is something that a lot of people are dealing with, here and now.

I’m also focusing on “dealing with change” today because next week I’ll be conducting a version of my Coping and Healing groups for staff at the major Boston hospital where I work. That’s a change for me and I’m going to focus the group topic on dealing with change, since we’re all dealing with so much change, especially in the health care industry.

One way I deal with change is to blog here daily and to share my photos from the day before. Today’s photos feature

Julie, the lovely woman from my high school who helped me deal with Hillel’s death by inviting me to stay at her place Tuesday night and go to Hillel’s funeral together,
Julie’s pets, including two cats and a dog,
Julie’s beautiful home, inside and out,
the cemetery where Hillel was buried yesterday, and
the delicious meal Michael served me when I finally got home last night.

If you want to change the size of any of those photos, just click to enlarge.

Music also helps me deal with change. Here‘s “A Change is Gonna Come” written and sung by Sam Cooke.

What are your thoughts and feelings about dealing with change?

No matter what change I’m dealing with, I’m grateful I’m alive another day to deal with the changes around and within me.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "A Change is Gonna Come", climate change, Climate Crisis Town Hall, CNN, gratitude, grief, Hillel Bennett, Hurricane Dorian, loss, Sam Cooke, September 2019 | 28 Comments

Day 2438: All you need

Posted on September 4, 2019 by Ann Koplow

All you need is …

… love.

All I need is

love,
kindness,
shelter,
peace,
the healing power of groups, and
the chance to pay my respects today to my late friend Hillel and to his family and friends.

All I need is my iPhone to take photos and to post this blog a few hours before my wonderful hostess Julie and I leave to drive to Hillel’s funeral in NYC.

All I need is that Connecticut Cat Nellie and a FaceTime call with Harley to help prepare me for the funeral today.

What’s all you need?

Is this music all you need?

All the love and thanks you need coming at you, here and now, from your grateful blogger.

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "All You Need is Love", cats, Eric Clapton, funerals, gratitude, Joe Cocker, loss, love, Paul McCartney, peace, Rod Stewart | 26 Comments

Day 2437: Today it’s all about ______

Posted on September 3, 2019 by Ann Koplow

Today it’s all about

work,
traveling to attend the funeral of my friend, Hillel, tomorrow,
love,
appreciation,
sorrow,
memories,
being in the moment,
hope for the future,
me, and
you.

Today it’s all about the photos I took yesterday to self soothe in the midst of loss.

Today it’s all about missing the cats and Michael but it’s also about appreciating the lovely woman from my high school who is welcoming me into her home this evening so we can drive together to Hillel’s funeral tomorrow.

Today it’s all about gratitude.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: accepting all feelings, connection, gratitude, grief, healing in groups, loss, love, swordfish, the South Shore of Boston | 19 Comments

Day 2436: What do we want to remember?

Posted on September 2, 2019 by Ann Koplow

When I search my old posts for “What do we want to remember?” the only thing that comes up is Day 454: My brain is like a sieve. This might be a bad sign, since what’s on my brain today is how to memorize and remember the words of my 5-minute “Ted Talk” for my college reunion in three weeks.

I want to remember that …

I don’t have to be perfect delivering my speech, even though I sometimes felt like I had to be perfect to keep up with the other people at my Ivy League school.
perfect is the enemy of good.
I can look at my notes during my speech.
I have been able to memorize the words of all my original songs, forgetting the lyrics only once.
I will be talking about traumatic memories in my speech, so I need to be extra kind to myself about this.
I will be finishing my speech by talking about this blog and my wonderful readers.
I am the only one who can put unrealistic pressure on myself.
nobody hearing my speech will be wanting me to fail.
I will be returning, after my speech, to people who will not love me any less if my talk does not go well.

Do you want to remember any of the photos I took yesterday?

If you want to remember songs that have the word “Remember” in the title, see here and here.

Here and now, while I was searching for a song I wanted to remember for this post, I just heard that an old friend, whom I was wanting to see at our school reunion, died yesterday.

I will always remember Hillel, my very good friend. He and I shared many memories, starting in 7th grade.

What do we want to remember? Those we love.

In the midst of pain and loss, I want to remember to always express my gratitude to you.

Categories: in memoriam, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: Christopher McCallum, college reunion, memories, my friend Hillel, the South Shore of Boston, www.alicemalone.com | 16 Comments

Day 2435: Reduced guilt

Posted on September 1, 2019 by Ann Koplow

For many of us, reduced guilt would be a blessing.

I love the idea of reduced guilt mac & cheese! I also love the idea of reduced guilt for

not being able to do it all,
making mistakes,
inadvertently hurting somebody’s feelings,
over eating,
wasting time,
wasting money,
making unhealthy choices,
not exercising enough,
being selfish sometimes,
getting angry,
being sad,
having moments of despair,
being ambivalent,
being needy,
not knowing,
making missteps,
making noise,
speaking up,
not speaking up,
eavesdropping,
being lazy,
missing people,
resenting unfairness,
making comparisons (and other cognitive distortions),
feeling less than,
feeling better than,
having a faulty memory,
just wanting to have fun,
not always following the rules,
not always getting what’s going on,
having unkind thoughts, and
being human.

Here and now, I’m practicing reduced guilt about all of the above, especially having unkind thoughts about some national leaders (who might benefit from having INCREASED guilt about their behaviors).

Because confessing my guilt reduces it, I have reduced guilt about the other photos I took yesterday.