As usual, gratitude is going on here for all who helped me write this post and — of course! — for my readers. I hope everybody is safe, no matter what is going on around you.
I’m now coping with the realization that I’ve never used the word “Coping” in a blog title before, even though
I facilitate therapy groups called “Coping and Healing” and
writing this blog is a daily coping mechanism for me.
Does everybody know the definition of coping?
Here’s how the Internet defines “Coping”:
cop·ing
ˈkōpiNG
noun
the top, typically sloping, course of a brick or stone wall.
Coping may mean sloping, but that’s not what I was hoping. I’m hoping for the “coping” that’s a help with things dystopian.
I shall cope by searching again.
cope
[kohp]
verb (used without object), coped, coping.
1. to struggle or deal, especially on fairly even terms or with some degree of success (usually followed by with):
“I will try to cope with his rudeness.”
2. to face and deal with responsibilities, problems, or difficulties, especially successfully or in a calm or adequate manner:
“After his breakdown he couldn’t cope any longer.”
Now that we know the definition of coping, how are we all coping today?
I’m not sure how I’m coping, because today’s news is filled with others not coping very well. When those in control are not coping, I have trouble coping too.
Let’s see if my photos from yesterday offer any coping (or maybe sloping):
As you can see, Michael and I did some coping with walking, mowing, and respecting boundaries.
For as long as I can remember, whenever I travel, I travel light. That is, I bring along as little as possible. Personally, the less baggage I’m carrying around, the freer I feel.
There are things I have to take, though, as I pack for today’s flight to Edinburgh. Those necessities are
my passport,
my medication,
my laptop, and
money.
Anything else — including things I forget to pack — I can always buy in Scotland.
Certain people help me travel light. One of them is my boyfriend, Michael. Yesterday, when I said I hadn’t checked the news yet, he said, “You don’t have to. I can tell you what the news is. ‘The President said something incredibly ridiculous.'” I added, “And somebody left the administration.” No need to check the news right now, which helps some people travel light.
I think this blog is going to be light on photos today. Let’s see ….
That second goal was added to my work white board yesterday by another person who helps me travel light: my son, Aaron.
It helps me travel light to know that Aaron and I are going to see my standup-comedy teacher and comedian extraordinaire Ron Lynch in Edinburgh this year. If you’d like to travel light years into the past for previous posts about Ron, see here (which includes links to other Ron-Lynch-related posts).
Funny people and artists shine a light, helping us travel more lightly through life.
I take gratitude wherever I go, no matter how light I’m traveling. Thanks to all who helped me create this traveling-light post and — of course! — to you, for traveling here, now.
My first shot at writing today’s post is defining the term “mug shot.”
mug shot
noun: mugshot
a photograph of a person’s face made for an official purpose, especially police records.
humorous
any photograph of a person’s face.
If this mug wrote that “mug shot” definition, I would have added this:
humorous
any photograph of a mug
… because I collect and also photograph mugs.
I wanted to start off this mug-shots post with that particular mug shot, because
we’re going to move, so we need to pack up all our belongings, including our many mugs,
I’ve been struggling to balance trust lately, because of all the mugs and mugging in the news, and
if you took a mug shot of my face, it might show worry, acceptance, fear, contentment, confusion, trust, distrust, anticipation, anger, hope, excitement, sadness, or happiness, depending upon the moment of the mug shot.
I think it’s helpful to show on your mug what you’re feeling inside.
Because I knew that today’s post was going to be “Mug Shots,’ I took lots of mug shots yesterday.
Aaron’s pre-school teacher, Alyssa, said that when the kids at school were asked what they were thankful for, some said, “my parents,” or “my toys,” or “my house,” or “my kitty.” Aaron said, “I’m thankful for numbers, because I can count with them.”
When I was looking for that early Aaron story, I found this much earlier one, which I do not fear to share with you, here:
Aaron and Dada were telling stories at bedtime. Aaron told a story where Aaron was having a dream about a dinosaur and his Dada told him that dinosaurs really weren’t there. Then Aaron told another story about a dinosaur who was having a dream about Aaron and who woke up scared from his dream, and the Daddy Dinosaur told the dinosaur to not be afraid, because no Aarons were really there.
As a psychotherapist, I often encourage people (especially those who have encountered frightening things in their lives) to think about how safe they are, in the moment. People — when they take a breath and observe all the realities of their senses — often find that the present moment is actually safer than they are thinking and feeling.
I fear it is sometimes difficult to take one’s own advice. That is, I have been fearing some not-really-dangerous things lately, including:
running out of storage space,
machines breaking,
losing things,
interpersonal miscommunication, and
making mistakes.
Also, I fear, I have NOT been scared of some news-worthy dangers, including:
Ebola (and other diseases),
financial scams, and
murderous people.
I fear that sort of thing happens, when I stop listening to the news. (When I stop listening to the news, I definitely feel safer.)
If you fear generalizations about human beings, beware of the next sentence.
Being vigilant about danger can help us survive, so it makes sense for our minds to be fear-focused (although we might get confused about what we should be fearing, which can be scary).
This time of the year, there’s plenty to fear, all around:
Do any of those things scare you? Do any of them help you feel safer?
If any of them did scare you, what else might help you feel safer, in the moment?
Last night, I had a dream. Do you fear dreams? I do not fear other people’s dreams; indeed, I welcome them into individual and group therapy. However, I may fear my own dreams (which may be why I sometimes fear going to sleep).
My dream last night was not scary, although there was a moment in the dream where I was afraid of something.
I fear I am not being clear or detailed enough, right now, about my dream. Here it is:
I was outside, talking to people who were standing and walking around in some sort of public gathering place. At times, I was having conversations with individuals — some of whom seemed to be in charge of things. At other times, I would address many people at the same time, as though I was imparting some wisdom. At one point, I had a revelation. I thought, “in order to help bring about helpful growth in people and in society, I just need to make very small changes, like these: (1) changing one letter in certain words and (2) increasing numbers I use, just by making them one larger. That’s all I need to do and … I can do that!” As I had this epiphany, I could see things very clearly and I heard a person standing near me describe their own sense of deja vu. I thought, “This is all telling me that I am having a true and helpful thought.” I felt happy, safe, and joyful.
Then, I had my moment of doubt and fear, as I thought: “If I tell people this, will they think I am too self-important? Will they think I am delusional?”
When I woke up after that dream, I felt good. I wasn’t sure I was going share that dream with anyone but, I suppose, I am now telling it — in a way — to the world.
As I was writing the dream down for this post, here were my associations to that dream:
I work with people individually and in groups. That was happening in the dream.
When I act like an expert, I fear that I will be seen as wrong and/or as seeing myself as too important. That was happening in the dream.
I do believe that creating small changes can lead to bigger and important change. That was happening in the dream.
In my work, I invite people to tell their stories differently, as a way of creating more self-esteem and moving towards life goals. That is my association to changing one letter in a word, in the dream.
In my blog, I increase the number in the title by one, every day.
Those are my associations with that dream. When I work in therapy with other people’s dreams, I ask this question:
If that were your dream, what might it mean?
I hope you feel safe enough here to respond to that question, or to share any dreams of your own.
Here is ONE MORE three-year-old Aaron story, about change:
Aaron, Mama, and Dada were driving by a restaurant which was all boarded up with wood. When they were talking about how the restaurant was being changed, Aaron said, “Yes, that restaurant is changing. It’s changing into a …. tree!”
Is there any fear about how I might end this post? The endings, here, are almost always gratitude.
Thanks to everybody who helped make this post possible and to you — of course! — for any fears, safety, or anything in-between, that you bring here today.
