Some may think of these as concerning psychological glitches, but I think people have harmless compulsions.
My harmless compulsions include looking for mistakes, telling the truth, expressing my feelings, taking pictures of animals, checking multiple times to make sure I’m leaving the house with what I need, waiting before opening delivered mail and packages, counting rabbits on walks with my husband, blogging every day, and assuming I’m not alone in harmless compulsions.
Do you see harmless compulsions in my images for today?
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Sharing those lists in several places is another harmless compulsion of mine.
Here’s a song I compulsively wrote about harmless compulsions;
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Another harmless compulsion of mine is collecting many different thank you’s so I can always express my gratitude to YOU!
Who’s looking for peace of mind? I am and I’m guessing I’m not alone.
I hope you find some peace of mind here.
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If I were going to write to my late father on this Write to Your Father Day, I’d write, “Dear, Dad. I did a show of my original songs and I got a standing ovation! I think you would have been proud.” This is giving me peace of mind, here and now.
What’s also giving me peace of mind is that I can blog more easily on my new laptop. That means it will take less time for me to give you a piece of my mind every day.
Here‘s what I hear in my mind when I think about “peace of mind.”
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Thanks to all those who contribute to my peace of mind, including YOU!
Last night — to get some closure for 2021 while moving on to 2022 — I asked this question on Twitter:
This was a rather controversial question — some people objected to the concept of closure as a possibility or even as a helpful concept. As long as we have pain and memory, how can we truly get closure?
Recognizing that there is no perfect or complete closure, I had actually rewritten that question many times before posting it. Here are some other versions of the question that I considered:
What helps you get good-enough closure to move on to the next thing?
What helps you move on to the next thing?
What helps you move on?
That last one was simpler (and brevity can be the soul of wit), but those other versions didn’t really capture what I was trying to express for the end of one year and the beginning of another. I also considered using the term “radical acceptance” instead of “closure.”
I settled on the question I posted because I, personally, do feel some need for closure before moving on to the next thing. For example, I feel the need today to acknowledge the end of my 9th year of this daily blog, thus moving on to my 10th (way beyond my expectations when I started this on 1/1/13).
In my therapy groups, I give people the room to get a good enough sense of closure before we end the session. Since 2020, I’ve been pointing out in these groups that the lack of closure about the pandemic is incredibly stressful, so that getting some measure of closure about anything can be helpful and healing.
Closure, in my mind, is neither tidy nor final. For those of us dealing with trauma or grief, we will never lose the memories or be totally free of the pain of the losses.
I think of closure as putting the period on the end of a sentence before moving on to the next one. Doing that neither wipes out nor reduces the importance and power of the previous sentences. And I do believe that we can benefit from those “periods” — otherwise life can feel like a run-on sentence with little room to breath, pause, and get some measure of peace.
Do you see any closure and/or moving on in my other images for today?
I need to get some measure of closure about the death of Betty White yesterday, so here’s a tribute to her:
Expressing gratitude at the end of every blog post allows me to get the closure I need to move on, so thanks to Betty White and to all who are here, now, including YOU.
Yesterday, I asked this question on Twitter about freaking out:
People were freaking out about many things, including money, health issues, work, family members, relationships, the pandemic, other people’s behaviors, etc., etc., etc. Indeed, some people suggested that a better question might have been “What are you NOT freaking out about right now?”
I didn’t answer my own question, but I was freaking out about our kitty Joan, her ongoing mastitis, and how she outsmarts us and every cone we put on her to promote its healing.
There’s Joan, trying to figure out how she can lick her wounds after my husband Michael tried to adapt her cone with a well-placed paper clip.
When I freak out, it’s usually because I feel helpless, so yesterday I ordered TWO MORE cones in addition to the inflatable cone that’s being delivered today.
Joan’s irritated area extends down into the top of her rear leg, so it’s very difficult to get a cone that completely prevents her from accessing it with her rough kitty tongue. Also, most cat post-surgery body suits don’t cover that area.
Over the past month, as we’ve treated her with antibiotics, applied topical lotion to the area, sent lots of pictures of the area to the vet, and helped Joan adjust to the different types of treatment (while trying to bond with her), we’ve seen the problem area get better and then get worse.
It freaks me out that I know so much about trying to help a cat heal, but we’re still not past this.
When I freak out, Michael tries to calm me by focusing on the positive: she’s not in pain, it’s not going to kill her, and she will get better, even if it takes much longer than we expected.
When I freak out, it also helps me to write about it in this blog. This blog — and all of you — have helped me get through many freak outs over the years.
Let’s see if the Daily Bitch is all about freaking out today.
It is!
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “freaking out.”
What might you be freaking out about right now? Whatever it is, chances are you’re not alone.
I have so much freaking gratitude for all who help me write this daily blog, including YOU!
Fortunately, there are always more everythings, every day, to notice and share.
This blog is everything to me, so I’m planning on including it in my five-minute “Ted Talk” about Picking up the Pieces at my upcoming 45th college reunion.
Here’s what I wrote about that, this morning:
So as I tell my story to you today, I wonder, perhaps along with you,
what has allowed me to survive, so intact, through all these years of
uncertainty and crisis? What has helped me pick up the pieces, over
and over again? As when I was a child — the love of my family and
friends sustain me. Also, about seven years ago I expanded my
network of friends by starting a daily blog. Every morning, including
today, I write about my heart, my son, my boyfriend, my work,, my
passion for the healing power of groups, my music, my cats, my
hopes, my fears, — whatever helps gird and prepare me for the day
ahead. The day after my heart valve replacement surgery is the only
day I needed a substitute blogger — my boyfriend Michael let my
thousands of readers know I had survived the complicated surgery.
The comments from my readers that day included “This is the best
news that I could receive!” “She’s going to be alright guys’ is the best
line ever!”
As I know with my work with groups, community is essential for
survival. Perhaps because of all the traumas I’ve been through, I need
a bigger group than most to keep me going. Thanks for being part of
my group, today.
I’ve written several drafts to make sure that talk is everything to me and to my listeners at the reunion. I hope everything, above, will make it to my final speech. I’ll keep you posted about that and everything else.
I don’t like killing, I don’t like killing one bird (much less two), and I don’t like throwing stones, but I’m using this title today because
it means “achieving two aims at once” and
I’m killing two birds with one stone right now.
The two “birds “are (1) an article I promised to write for a professional group therapy organization’s newsletter before I leave for a two-week trip to Scotland on Saturday and (2) today’s blog post.
The “stone” is the following:
When the intrepid editor of this newsletter asked me to write a 600 – 800 article about what it’s like to be the President Elect of NSGP, I thought that would be a relatively easy assignment. I mean, I write a blog post every day, I used to be a professional writer before I changed careers in the 1990s, and — most importantly — I AM the President Elect of NSGP, so that perspective is immediately accessible.
However, I’ve been working on this article for days, and it’s been remarkably difficult. Perhaps it’s difficult because in all the years I’ve been a member of this wonderful organization, I never dreamed I’d be writing an article like this one. Indeed, when a nominating committee member called me earlier this year to ask if I would consider being president, I asked, “president of what?”
Perhaps I’m finding this assignment difficult because I’m not sure how to separate out the perspective of an NSGP President Elect from all my other perspectives as a human being who
has a passionate belief in the healing power of groups,
kept changing careers until she found the right match for herself,
lives to communicate with others in a meaningful way,
loves her work providing open-access therapy groups at the Primary Care Practice at a major teaching hospital in Boston,
appreciates every opportunity to learn and grow,
maintains hope for the future even during difficult and challenging times,
has faith in people’s and organizations’ ability to adapt and survive,
is sustained by “personal medicine” including family, friends, music, good food, the ocean, travel, singing, cats, and NSGP,
was born with an unusual heart,
is sometimes intimidated by brilliant colleagues,
has learned to overcome fear in many aspects of her life,
tries to keep her sense of humor no matter what, and
is aware that she needs several hundred more words to complete this article.
Perhaps I can fill out the rest of that newsletter article with photos …
