Yesterday morning, when my 17-year-old son Aaron was leaving for school, it was so cold my iPhone was reporting 7 degrees, F.
It was so cold I was concerned about how cold Aaron would be during his short walk outside.
It was so cold, I encouraged him to wear gloves (which he didn’t).
It was so cold I shared some “It was so cold” jokes from the internet, trying to convince Aaron (who’s had his standup comedy routine down cold) to dress warm.
It was so cold …
- hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
- pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm!
- squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence!
- I chipped a tooth on my soup!
- Grandpa’s teeth were chattering – in the glass!
- the dogs were wearing cats!
- the dogs had to put jumper cables on the rabbits – just to get them running!
- the politicians had their hands in their OWN pockets!
- the muggers were phoning in sick!
- we didn’t clean the house – we just defrosted it!
- when I needed local anesthesia, the dentist told me to stick my head outside!
- you needed defrosters just to have a good cry!
- a flasher rushed up to poor Mrs. Flannigan – and described himself!
- a comedian was rushed to the hospital after being pelted with frozen tomatoes!
Before I’m pelted with cold, frozen tomatoes by my readers, I’ll let you know that it was so cold that I skipped my usual walks and took only these cold photos:
As my cold car was reporting 11 degrees, the warm announcer on the local classical radio station was reporting 8 degree weather.
That chair looks like it’s been left out in the cold.
I took that last photo after a therapy group, where the cold participants chose the cool topic “No Man Is An Island.”
Any cold comments?
Warm thanks to my son Aaron; to collectors of cold jokes; to those who share the cold and the warmth in group therapy; to Laura Carlo, whose kind voice on WCRB classical radio warms listeners on even the coldest of mornings; to chairs and others who have been left out in the cold; and to you — of course! — for reading how cold it is, here and now.