Kenspeckle is a word that appeared in yesterday’s blog. I assume that “Kenspeckle” is NOT kenspeckle to most people, so here’s the definition again:
In my coaching session on Wednesday, Jeff Leisawitz and I spoke about my ambivalence about being kenspeckle, which originates from my experience as a child expressing my talents and then ending up in the hospital for much of the time. Even though that’s magical thinking (a little girl’s musical and creative talents do not cause her to undergo painful surgeries and other traumatic experiences; her congenital heart condition does that), I’m still afraid of being kenspeckle.
My most recent unpleasant experience of being kenspeckle was a year ago when I shared my song “Everybody’s Somebody’s Asshole” with enthusiastic strangers on a trip in Georgia, and ended up the next day in a hospital with a T.I.A.
My fears of being kenspeckle are also related to growing up in an Orthodox Jewish family, where people were afraid of attracting the “evil eye” if they were too conspicuous and easily recognizable.
I am working on letting go of my fear of being kenspeckle. In the meantime, is there anything kenspeckle in my images for today?
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Let’s get gnarly and be kenspeckle all day!
Here I am trying to be kenspeckle in Edinburgh several years ago.
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Thanks to all who help me have the courage to be kenspeckle, including YOU!
I have no idea how I’m going to convey, in a speech I’m giving on Friday, how special and important my cardiologist Dr. Deeb Salem is. Actually, I probably don’t have to convince my audience about how special and important he is, because they’re naming a building at Tufts Medical Center after him and that’s why he asked me to give the speech.
Whenever anybody (including myself) uses the phrase “I have no idea” I think about a psychologist at my first student internship who always responded with this: “You must have some idea.” And, indeed I do have some idea about how to talk about how great Dr. Salem is. My problem is I have too many ideas, because he’s been my cardiologist for over 40 years, helping me live my best life while reaching the ripe old age of 70.
I was about to say I have no idea how to use all the images I have for you today into a cohesive enough blog post, but I must have some idea.
I have no idea what Mother’s Day is going to be like this year. Wait, I must have some idea. I’m sure to hear from my son, Aaron, who coincidentally has the same birthday as Dr. Salem. I have some idea that if it weren’t for Dr. Salem, neither Aaron nor I would be here today.
I have no idea what the best Stevie Wonder song is, but I have some idea about which one I’ve listened to the most. It’s either this one…
As I’m writing this at 4:30 AM, it’s unknown to me whether I’ve written another blog post with the title “Unknown,” although I suspect I have.
Many people have a fear of the unknown. My fear of the unknown is unknown to me, perhaps because I have spent so much of my life inhabiting the unknown.
If the meaning of that previous sentence is unknown to you, my extremely rare congenital heart condition has made any predictions about my life span unknown. Therefore, I seem to feel very comfortable living in the unknown.
On the other hand, it is unknown to me why I can get so anxious about mundane issues like doing my taxes or choosing tiles for a shower remodel while fearlessly facing the realities of serious, life-long health issues. It’s also unknown to me why I waste so much time wondering who in the universe might be mad at me or wish me ill, forgetting that those people can’t really hurt me.
It is not unknown to me that I am not alone in being puzzled by the unknown operations of one’s own mind.
Let’s see what some known people have said about the unknown.
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Do you see the unknown in any of my other images for today?
The Ides of March are known to me but it is unknown to me why those of us who are not Caesar should beware them.
I’m happy to wish a happy birthday to my son Aaron and to my cardiologist, Dr. Deeb Salem! 🎉🎉🎂🎂🎁🎁💕
Yesterday, I was happy about the results of my annual check up with Dr. Salem. He said he wants to see me again in six months because “seeing you makes me happy.” Tufts Medical Center is going to name a building after him soon and when they do, I’ll be happy to make a speech, as he has requested, at that celebration. I was happy to swap stories about our long relationship in front of two young doctors yesterday and I was happy to exclaim, “Don’t I look great for my age!” even though nobody could really tell because I was wearing a mask.
I’m happy that I have a wonderful son and that we decided it was safe enough for me to get pregnant in my 40s despite my congenital heart condition.
My husband Michael and I were happy to watch the Deadwood movie last night which gave some good closure to the series, especially because some of the characters were finally happy!
I’m happy that today is my longest and busiest working day of the week because I get to facilitate two Coping and Healing groups on Thursdays.
I’m happy with our new shower/bathroom remodel and with all the images I have to share with you today.
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I’m happy with the new tiles in the bathroom on National Tile Day and I’m very happy that today is World Understanding and Peace Day.
In 1964, when I was recovering from my first heart surgery, adapting to having a cardiac pacemaker, and dealing with the additional trauma of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, I developed a huge crush on the Man from U.N.C.L.E., which was a very welcome distraction. While my friends in Junior High School were happily crushing on David McCallum, who played Illya Kuyakin on the show, my crush was Robert Vaughn’s Napoleon Solo.
As I’ve been recovering from getting COVID for my 70th birthday, I’ve been revisiting that crush by watching the first season of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. I continue to crush on so many things about that show — the great scripts (one written by Robert Towne, the future screenwriter of Chinatown), the amazing music (I spent many happy hours figuring out and playing the Man from U.N.C.L.E. music on the family piano), the direction (often by a young Richard Donner, described as “one of Hollywood’s most reliable makers of action blockbusters”), and the wonderful, playful chemistry between my crush Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin.
So it felt like a risk when I ordered the late Robert Vaughn’s autobiography, A Fortunate Life — how would it affect my still enjoyable crush if he turned out to be somebody I wouldn’t like in real life? Well, my crush is secure. Robert Vaughn was smart, witty, loyal to his many friends, and a brave advocate for his beliefs, which included a very early and unpopular opposition to the Vietnam war. I remember my 8th grade English teacher (whom I definitely did not have a crush on) asking us to bring in a picture of our favorite celebrity and when she saw my photo of Robert Vaughn, she told the whole class that he was an awful “Vietnick.” That didn’t crush my crush, it just made me more curious about what was really going on in that war.
Here’s my old crush (and other crushes) on The Dating Game …
The introduction to today’s post is going to be my random thoughts about introductions:
I’m working on the introduction to the first book I’ve ever written — “How to Make Your Brain Shut Up.”
My introduction of a new member into my Coping and Healing groups always includes inviting the other people to remember what it felt like when they were new to the group.
When I was giving a talk about my groups and was asked what I wanted as an introduction, I replied, “Just say, this is Ann Koplow. She knows what she’s talking about.”
Before the introduction in 2016 of a mechanical heart valve and the need to take Coumadin/Warfarin for the rest of my life, I was very anxious about the impact of those things, but now it’s all second nature to me.
My husband Michael and I feared that the introduction of a new cat, Joan, would bother our old cat Harley, but after a brief introductory period of hissing and him adjusting to her, everybody’s fine.
Now that we’ve finished the introduction, do you see introductions in my images for today?
To celebrate National Cousins Day, I want to tell my cousin Lani (who’s being reading this blog since its introduction in 2013) how much I love and appreciate her. I’m looking forward to our introduction to Viking River cruises in May 2023.
Here are the two songs I think have especially great introductions:
I feel fine about ending this post about introductions with gratitude for all the wonderful people I’m been introduced to over the years, including YOU!
