Monthly Archives: May 2015

Day 861: Wildest Dreams

Posted on May 11, 2015 by Ann Koplow

I saw this yesterday, while fulfilling my wildest dreams of spending all of Mother’s Day with my 17-year-old son, Aaron:

Actually, at the time when I took that Wildest Dreams photo, Aaron was at his weekly keyboard lesson. Nevertheless, I was still in Wildest Dreams territory:

Which of those photos seems the most Wildest Dreams-like, to you?

Wildest Dreams have been featuring prominently in three TV series I’ve been watching — Louie, Shark Tank, and Mad Men — during my recovery from surgery (which might fulfill mine and others’ wildest dreams concerning my wildest and unusual-est heart).

As I’ve been discussing with Aaron and my boyfriend Michael (both of whom often exceed my wildest dreams), the wildest dreams we have while asleep can seem wildly similar to our waking experiences.

For example, while I was sleeping without general anesthesia during my entire 7- hour operation exactly a week ago, I had a wildest dream that the surgery was not successful. I woke up from that wildest dream to hear my not-so-wild cardiologist Dr. Estes say to me, “Ann, that went about as well as it could have,” which was Dr. Estes’s way of saying

That surgery met my wildest dreams.

Now, we’re all hoping that last week’s surgery grants our wildest dreams of no major heart surgery in my future. Dr. Estes says there’s at least a 50-50 chance that those wildest dreams will come true.

I’ll probably find out more about that today, when

The surgical staples are removed.
We program my new pacemaker/defibrillator for wildest-dream longevity AND quality of life.
I return to work, faster than many people’s wildest dreams.

Yesterday evening — on our way to our weekly routine of dreamy food-shopping — Michael and I were discussing our wildest dream that Massachusetts would return to wildest-dream spring temperatures, after a day of near 90 degree heat. Suddenly, Michael remembered a wildest dream of his own:

I had a dream I bought tuna at Shaw’s, and it was bad.

How might you interpret THAT or any of these dream-like photos, which I captured right after Michael told me that wildest dream?

That last wildest dream image shows Al reenacting — for my camera — his saying to Michael:

You better take good care of this lady. DON’T LET HER PUSH THAT SHOPPING CART!

Al — who is the cashier of our wildest dreams — is fulfilling one of his wildest dreams next weekend, when he attends a Civil War reenactment in Richmond, Virginia.

One more short list of wildest dreams, before I end this Wildest Dreams post. During my week of recovery, I’ve had wildest dreams including:

The voice of my friend Jeanette (who spoke to me on the phone from Philadelphia the night after my surgery) coming out of a microphone that was hanging from a high ceiling and
Encountering my son’s keyboard teacher in a large wood-panelled room that looked like a cross between a library and a college dining hall, where we both wondered whether Aaron would remember to go to his next lesson.

What meaning do you make of any of the wildest dreams in this post? Or, if you include one of YOUR wildest dreams in a comment here, that would meet my wildest dreams.

What wildest dream music might you include, now?

The Moody Blues are are singing about “Your Wildest Dreams” here on YouTube.

Wild and dreamy thanks to all those who contributed to my creating this Wildest Dreams post today and to you — of course! — for fulfilling my wildest dreams by reading it.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac, "Your Wildest Dreams" by The Moody Blues, dreams, it was almost 90 degrees in Boston on Mother's Day 2015!, living with cctga, outdoor art exhibits, recovering from surgery, Spy Pond in Arlington Massachusetts | 35 Comments

Day 860: M words

Posted on May 10, 2015 by Ann Koplow

M is for Mothers, whose day in May it is today.

M is for Meaningful.

M is for Michael, who Makes yuMMy Meals.

M is for Maria, Mark, Maureen, Millie, Malizia, (Daily)Musings and More Marvelous WordPressers.

M is for Medical Team Members of Mine.

M is for Meow.

M is for Movies, including WelcoMe to Me, which Michael and I saw on May 9, at a Movie theater in Massachusetts.

M is for More Miscellaneous iMages from May 9:

M is for Monday, May 11 (toMorrow), when I return to My work in a Medical setting.

M is for the Macaroni and cheese at work, which I will be Munching on May 15.

M is for Mornings, when I Make these posts.

M is for Metheny and Mays, Magnificent Musicians.

“Tell Her You Saw Me” — reMinding Me of My late Mother, Louise Mildred — is Moving on YouTube, with a Marvelously Massive Moon.

Many and Maximum thanks to Louise Mildred, Mothers everywhere, My son, Michael, Maria, Mark, Maureen, Millie, Alan Malizia, DailyMusings, Medical teaMs, Meowers, Movies, Miscellaneousness, Metheny & Mays, Music, May, Meals, Macaroni, the Moon, and all those who Make Meaning, including YOU, My Magnificent readers.

Categories: gratitude, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Tell Her You Saw Me", expressing gratitude, living with medical issues, Mothers Day 2015, Pat Metheny and Lyle Mays | 40 Comments

Day 859: Was yesterday the best day EVER?

Posted on May 9, 2015 by Ann Koplow

When our days are numbered (and they are, though we rarely know the exact number), every day might be the best day ever.

But yesterday really was one of the best days ever for me, because:

I spent time with my son,
I spent time with my boyfriend,
I spent time with my cats,

I gave and received gifts with WordPress bloggers,
I saw some helpful signs,

My friend Kathy brought chocolate,

Oscar, per usual, grabbed and swallowed any available ribbon, and did not return that ribbon later (as far as I know),
I watched, with my son, perhaps my favorite “Louie” episode ever, which included dreams, insomnia, guilt, friendship, kindness, Clockwork Orange, parenting, doctor’s visits, family, moving heavy objects, dread, crying, connection, fear, rabbits, stand-up comedy, dealing with other people’s shamelessness, reparative experiences, and other topics near and dear to my heart,
Michael was the best nurse ever, changing my surgical dressings perfectly (not pictured) AND the best cook ever, making me perhaps the best pasta primavera ever for dinner (not pictured),
I knew, despite never going to Italy, that “primavera” means “spring,”
I went with my amazing friend Carol to see my favorite movie EVER, Singin’ in the Rain, accompanied by the Boston Pops Orchestra, at Symphony Hall,
We got A FREE PARKING SPOT ON THE STREET IN BOSTON ON A FRIDAY NIGHT,

We had a nice walk in beautiful weather, to Symphony Hall,

I got to see, from afar, one of my favorite spots in Boston, the Christian Science Center,
Our seats were friggin’ awesome,

Carol, who was hungry, got to order food and I got to order water,

One of my heroes, Stephen Sondheim, kept showing up (before I had to turn my phone off for the performance),

I GOT TO WATCH SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN STARRING GENE KELLY AT SYMPHONY HALL ACCOMPANIED BY THE BOSTON POPS, SITTING NEXT TO SOMEBODY I LOVE,
We met new, wonderful people, some who love that movie as much as we do and some who were seeing it for the first time (not pictured),
I got to reminisce about my first time attending Symphony Hall to see Simon & Garfunkel, when I was sitting in the balcony,

Symphony Hall looks and sounds as awesome now as it did then, and
It’s the best season ever, for me, no matter where I look.

And you know what? Today might be even BETTER, because they’re doing Singin’ in the Rain again at Symphony Hall, TWICE.

June’s looking pretty good to me, too — what with Simply Sondheim at Symphony Hall, my presentation about my therapy groups, continuing nice weather, and, I’m sure, so much more.

And — speaking of the future — there’s that little matter of making it to Italy, as soon as I can figure out how to pull that off, too.

To make this a better day (if not the best day ever) for all of us, here‘s an amazing dance number from my favorite movie:

Best-day-ever thanks to everybody and everything making yesterday exactly the day it was and to you — of course! — for making today better, for me.

Categories: gratitude, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Singin' in the Rain", Carpe Diem, Gene Kelly, living with a congenital heart condition, living with cctga, Louie | 50 Comments

Day 858: A dozen ways to melt away your stress

Posted on May 8, 2015 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, I saw a sign.

I recognize that melting away my stress is extremely important, because

I’m recovering from an operation I had earlier this week,
I’m the owner of a very unusual heart, which has outlasted most conventional predictions for longevity, and
I’m soon returning to work, where I do my best to help others melt away stress.

Therefore, I shall use the other photos I took yesterday in service of helping us all melt away stress.

Ready to melt?

#1. Spend time with friendly creatures

when you’re outdoors

or indoors.

#2. Be kind to yourself, applying things that help you feel better, including

chocolate, pleasing colors,

and every other little thing that gladdens each beat of your beautiful

#3. Keep away from real

as best you can, whether you’re far away

or close to home.

#4. Seek out the beauty that surrounds you, even if you have to spend some time and energy looking for it.

#5. Pay attention to helpful messages from the universe.

#6. Work at

… but let go of worry when communication does not go perfectly smoothly. In almost every case, you’ll have another opportunity to connect.

#8. Come to think of it, let go of worry (and other future-oriented fears) about EVERYTHING, including

#9. Help preserve — or even transform — the world, as best you can.

#10. Listen to more classical music

… whether it’s Spring or any other season.

#11. Indulge in your favorite things whenever possible (like, for example, a showing of the musical “Singin’ in the Rain,” with music performed by the Boston Pops, tonight).

#12. Make ’em laugh (and let them make you laugh, too).

Stress-free thanks to cats, to Boston and its surroundings, to Antonio Vivaldi, to Donald O’Connor, and to all those who help melt away my stress, including you!

Categories: inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Make 'em Laugh", "Singin' in the Rain", Donald O'Connor, letting go of stress, Letting go of worry, living with chronic illness, Vivaldi's "Spring", Watertown Massachusetts | 61 Comments

Day 857: Dis/Comfort

Posted on May 7, 2015 by Ann Koplow

Monday evening, after my discomfortingly long surgery earlier that day, the comforting Dr. Mark Estes visited my typically comfortable hospital room to comfortingly talk about my recovery. At one point, he said:

You’ll have quite a bit of discomfort.

I turned, uncomfortably, to say to my visitors, “When a doctor uses the word ‘discomfort’ …”

And Dr. Estes finished my sentence:

It’ll hurt like hell.

How much discomfort do I have right now, as I’m writing this dis/comfort post?

Well, I wouldn’t use the word “hell” to describe my comfort level. However, I wouldn’t use the word “heaven,” either.

Since Monday’s surgery, several comforting people have asked me to rate my pain/discomfort level on a scale of 1 to 7, 8, or 10. While I can’t comfortably remember the upper end of that scale, I feel comfortable telling you that those pain/discomfort scales include faces of people in increasing amounts of discomfort. I usually feel uncomfortable looking at those discomforting faces and trying to assign a number to my own discomfort.

How comfortable are you with discomfort scales like those?

Has my discomfort decreased since Monday?

Yes.

Am I comfortable?

Not yet.

Will my left shoulder — where Dr. Estes implanted a pacemaker/defibrillator — ever feel comfortable again?

I hope so.

Will I feel comfortable returning to work in four days?

Time will tell.

Yesterday, my comforting friend Peggy visited me at home, bringing this Get Well balloon, which could cause different levels of dis/comfort, depending on where you live:

Peggy and I then took a short comforting walk in the beautifully comfortable weather. Along the way, Peggy expressed some discomfort about how pansies don’t seem to have faces the way they used to. In response, I comfortably took these photos:

Are you comforted or discomforted by the faces in those pansies?

I am much more comfortable with that kind of slush than I am with the uncomfortable slush and snow that discomforted Boston for so many months, this year.

Are you comforted or discomforted by the other photos I took yesterday?

Lately, I’ve been very comfortable with the music of Todd Rundgren, especially when he gives comforting answers like these:

I find that performance of “Love is the Answer” very comforting.

Comfortable thanks to Dr. Estes, to Peggy, to flowers and flowering trees (with or without faces), to flavored slush, to welcoming things everywhere, to Michael for the comfort food last night, to Todd Rundgren, and to all my comforting visitors, including you!

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Love is the Answer", are pansies losing their faces?, Boston Spring 2015, Dr. Mark Estes, healing from surgery, living with cctga, Todd Rundgren | 47 Comments

Day 856: Good Color

Posted on May 6, 2015 by Ann Koplow

My sister Ellen sent me this email two days ago, after she saw me in the hospital recovering from surgery:

Hi Ann,

It was really GOOD to see you.

You just underwent 8 hours of surgery!! Done by people using their experience, skill, and intuition to mend your heart using the best technology and tools possible. Your heart was the end product, so to speak…and from my point of view, it was doing its job well.

You looked bright, alert, in touch, had good color… Mom would have put “good color” first. You had better color than you have had in a long time. ..and that’s directly related to cardiac functioning.

What a compliment to you and everyone else involved in that surgical process. And it wasn’t just the 8 hours there, it was all the planning, prepping etc. And before that, the planning of this particular solution.

Every time I read Ellen’s email, it brings me more good color.

Here’s some good color I observed yesterday, as I prepared to leave the hospital:

That’s Ellen on the right, holding a brown paper bag with the supplies for the daily changing of my surgical bandages. On the left is my nurse, Diane, who took a “field trip” away from the cardiology unit to take me to the hospital pharmacy as I was being discharged. Don’t Ellen and Diane both have good color?

Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo (a holiday with lots of good color) AND Diane’s birthday, and we talked about how she was working on her birthday and taking today off.

As we were waiting at the pharmacy, Diane said, “There’s Deeb!” because she saw one of my colorful cardiologists, Dr. Deeb Salem (who has appeared in many previous colorful blog posts, including one titled “Pink“).

Doesn’t Dr. Salem have good color, too?

Here’s some more good color I saw yesterday, after Ellen brought me home from the hospital:

That last shot shows our cat Oscar, with good color, in the middle of the night. He is doing his best, there, to keep my color good by lying on the bed — safely away from me — as I heal from surgery. This is colorfully notable, simce Oscar loves to lie on people, as you can see here:

My boyfriend Michael, who has good color but does not like to appear in my blog, often says that Oscar looks “very brown in the morning.”

What do you think of all the good colors in this post?

Here‘s a good-color compilation of Todd Rundgren‘s 30 years of appearances on David Letterman shows:

If you start watching at 11:11, you’ll see the colorful images of Todd Rundgren (and Bobby Womack) included in my good-color collection of photos, above.

Good color thanks to Ellen, Diane, Dr. Deeb Salem, Dr. Mark Estes (who was in charge of my surgery Monday), our cats Harley and Oscar, my ex-sister-in-law Deborah for the Creative Cats book and the coloring pencils, my friend Jeanette for the white chocolate and other goodies, Michael for the good color dinner last night, Paul Nagano for the beautiful colors of spring on our living room wall, my son Aaron (who did some of the good color artwork in this post and who has a really good color hair), Todd Rundgren, Bobby Womack, David Letterman, Anne Tyler, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and you — of course! — for all the good color you bring, today.

Categories: gratitude, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: Creative Cats, Dr. Deeb Salem, Dr. Mark Estes, living with a chronic cardiac condition, Paul Nagano, Todd Rundgren on David Letterman's shows | 69 Comments

Day 855: Hello, It’s Me

Posted on May 5, 2015 by Ann Koplow

Hello, it’s me,

having trouble sleeping in the hospital,
grateful for all the wonderful care I’m getting here, and
happy that I feel well enough to write this daily blog post.

Hello, it’s

beautiful Boston, around 5:45 AM yesterday.

Hello, it’s

my cardiologist’s Volvo, dropping me off at the hospital yesterday before 6 AM.

Hello, it’s

the sign greeting me in the Electrophysiology Lab, at 6 AM.

Hello, it’s

one of my favorite t-shirts.

Hello, it’s

Dr. Estes’s diagrams explaining Plan A and Plan B for my surgery yesterday.

Hello, it’s

Dr. Bader, who remembered me from a meeting of many cardiologists where Dr. Estes said, “Hello, it’s Ann,” about 400 days ago.

Hello, it’s

Diane, the awesome nurse who introduced me to my room, where I spent the night.

Hello, it’s

Meg, my overnight nurse, who tried her best to keep me comfortable when I was dealing with some discomfort.

Hello, it’s

me, again, trying to take a selfie in the middle of the night with my non-dominant arm and hand.

Hello, it’s

Todd Rundgren, performing music I hoped would help me sleep last night.

Hello, it’s you, dropping by here to get greetings and gratitude, from me.

Categories: gratitude, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: recovering from surfery, Tufts Medical Center | 66 Comments

Day 854: Soothing

Posted on May 4, 2015 by Ann Koplow

Today, I’m going to the hospital for an operation.

In the past, I have not experienced going to the hospital as a particularly soothing experience.

However, as life goes on, there’s alway room to experience something familiar in a new way.
Last night, I experienced the familiar Todd Rundgren in a new way. I had never seen him in concert before, and the experience was exhilarating AND soothing.

Here‘s something new he performed last night, soothing the audience:

My heart was soothed by Todd Rundgren last night, and by all these soothing images, throughout the day:

Here are the soothing lyrics of Todd Rundgren’s song, Soothe:

Life is hard enough
Even if you do find love
It can be so tough
Losing what you’re dreaming of

When your lovers are untrue
And the whole world seems out to hurt you
Know that I would try everything I knew

Just to soothe you
I will soothe you
Maybe I can’t make that dream come true
But I can soothe you

I know how it feels
Trying hard to keep things real
It’s so plain to see
You don’t have a heart of steel

And anytime I hear you weep
Suddenly I can’t eat, can’t sleep
Not until I’ve done all that I can do

Just to soothe you
I will soothe you
Maybe I can’t make gray skies turn blue
But I can soothe you

When your lovers are untrue
And the whole world seems out to hurt you
Know that I would try everything I knew

Just to soothe you
I will soothe you
Maybe I can’t make that dream come true
But I can soothe you

I can soothe you
I will soothe you
Together we can make that dream come true
So let me soothe you

It’s a soothing thought for me, here and now, to believe I’ll be blogging again, tomorrow.

One more soothing blogging image, for today:

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: Terra Firma, Todd Rundgren's "Soothe" | 61 Comments

Day 853: Cars

Posted on May 3, 2015 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, when I was driving my car with my son Aaron, the car in front of us had this license plate:

CALM

If I’d had my phone in my car, I would have scarcely hesitated to snap a photo of that scarcely seen plate, because calm is what I

care to be, today.

I calmly care to note that “care” contains the word “car.”

Calm might be a scarce commodity, here and now, because tomorrow, at the scarily early time of

… a car will be coming to get me for a cardiac operation, where there will caring doctors carving carefully (and, later, some new scars).

I also care about cars now, because:

my car — carefully pictured front and center, below, and cared for by me since 2007 — definitely needs clutch, transmission or carburetor care from my car mechanics.

My caring and wonderful ex-sister-in-law’s car, I believe, will be carrying us to a concert tonight with the charismatic Todd Rundgren, which makes me want to do cartwheels, right now.

Because I was caring about cars so much yesterday, I characteristically cared to capture these cars, too:

There’s my car, carefully composed again.

Before I Carpe Diem (“seize the day,” carefully spelled in Latin), here are the Cars:

If you care, the Cars are carrying on with “You Might Think” on YouTube.

With all the car cares I cared to include in this post, you might think I’m scared about a car being here at

tomorrow morning, so that my cardiac cares can be taken care of.

Actually, my car cares are all taken care of and I’m calm, right now.

Care to guess whose car is carrying me to my cardiac surgery tomorrow?

Is it my caring and careful friend Carol’s car, which carried me previously to a cardiac procedure at Tufts Medical Center, where my caring cardiologists are?

Carol did offer her car, but because I care so much about Carol, I asked Carol not to cart herself out of bed scarIly before 5 AM.

Is it my neighbor Karen’s car?

Karen — who, like Carol, is very caring and careful and whom I care about — did care enough to offer any care I need for my cardiac-care surgery. But I don’t need any car support from carin’ Karen, because I’ve got a car ride scheduled tomorrow at

My caring boyfriend Michael cared to guess that car will be a Lexus. My careful guess? A Volvo.

One more car, before I care to end this car post:

“Cat” is close to car, Harley is close to Carley, and Harley is more of a scaredy-cat than our other cat, Oscar, but what kind of car is Harley the cat?

.
A carnivore.

Care to carp about that or make any other car comment, below?

Caring and careful thanks to all the cars I cared to include in this post and a car-ful of thanks to you, for caring enough to read this, today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "You Might Think" by The Cars, letting go of fear, preparing for cardiac surgery, Tufts Medical Center cardiologists | 42 Comments

Day 852: K as in …

Posted on May 2, 2015 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, I was on the phone with a kustomer service person named Krissy.

I’m guessing that’s how she spelled her name. With a K, not a C.

I’m guessing that bekause of our phone konversation, which inkluded this:

Krissy: Let me look you up in the system. What’s your name again?
Me: It’s Koplow. K as in …

And I paused, because I kould not, for the life of me, think of any word that started with a K to help Krissy spell Koplow, except for my late father’s line, which I heard kontinuously when he was alive and kicking:

K as in Knife.

I always loved it when my father said that to help spell our name, because it was so klever, komical and playful, like he was. But I didn’t want to use that K word with Krissy yesterday. Why? As with any human aktion (or inaktion), the reasons kan be komplikated. Perhaps I kouldn’t use Knife with Krissy because:

I didn’t want to steal from my father,
I’m not loving the word knife lately, as I’m going under the surgical knife in two days bekause of my kardiak kondition a/k/a kongenitally korrekted tranposition, and
Krissy didn’t sound, on the phone, like she’d partikularly enjoy that.

So, as the pause on the phone kontinued — with my mind stuck on Knife as the only K word I kould kome up with — Krissy helpfully suggested

Kristina?

Which led me to konklude that Krissy spelled her name with a K.

Direktly after that konversation, I saw a kommon K word:

And I konsidered using that, the next time I spell Koplow.

When I saw these

I kontemplated what K words those people might use, when spelling their names for others.

What K word would you use, if you kommonly needed to do that?

Do you see any Ks in these other images I enkountered yesterday?

What K musik would you pikk, for this K post?

I’m inkluding “John McKee,” with koncert footage of Pat Metheny, Jack DeJohnette, Herbie Hancock, and Dave Holland:

and a Berklee Kollege of Musik performance of “John McKee” by Sonik Landskape, from the 5-week summer program (which had two additional weeks when I attended Berklee in the konsekutive summers of 1968 and 1969):