Posts Tagged With: cognitive behavioral therapy

Day 1591: Helpful

If you read any of my helpful posts on this blog, you’ll see that I use the word “helpful” a lot.

I shall now provide helpful links to my four previous helpful posts with “helpful” in the title (here, here, here, and here).

I wonder if it’s helpful for me to remember that the last time I wrote a blog post about a word I use frequently (Day 734: Actually), somebody actually tried to be helpful by advising me about how to use that word less. Is it helpful for me to confess that I don’t want to use the word “helpful” less, because I like the word “helpful”?

Is it helpful for me to speculate why I like the word “helpful” so much?

I guess I like to be helpful to other people, especially in my work as an individual and group therapist. I also think it’s helpful for me to remember that people I want to help are in control of any helpful changes I might wish for them. Perhaps it would be helpful to quote this helpful lightbulb joke right now:

How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.

Here’s my first helpful photograph from yesterday:

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It might be helpful if I explain that photo. “Is that a helpful thought?” can be a helpful challenge to any cognitive distortion, including shoulds, fortune-telling,  catastrophizing, mind-reading, blaming, labeling, comparisons, and overgeneralization. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is a helpful book by Mark Manson.

Are any of my perhaps inexplicable photos from yesterday helpful?

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Since people liked the octopus cookie in yesterday’s post, I thought it would be helpful to take and share that last picture.

Here‘s a helpful video from YouTube:

I always find comments from my readers very helpful.

Helpful thanks to all who helped me create this post and — of course! — to helpful you.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Day 1579: Action

When people take the action of joining my therapy groups, I recommend these weekly actions:

  1.  Do something mindfully, using your senses to stay in the moment.
  2. Take one action you think would be helpful.
  3. Notice and challenge an unhelpful thought.

For example, I am writing this blog post mindfully, using my senses to stay in the moment. I just took the helpful action of writing an email to my realtor, expressing my thoughts and feelings about a property.  My next action is to notice unhelpful thoughts about an action I took yesterday:

I’ve made another mistake.  I should have known better.

Here’s the action of challenging that unhelpful thought:

 Everybody makes mistakes.  I’m doing the best I can. Every mistake is an opportunity for me to learn and grow.

Yesterday, my actions included:

  • Voting for myself to be the next president of a group psychotherapy organization,
  • Putting an offer on a house near the water,
  • Expressing appreciation for the departing interns at work, and
  • Facilitating two therapy groups.

Every day, I take action shots and share the action here.

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When I show up at YouTube and gently search for “action” there, it’s true that I find this:

If you think it would be helpful to make a comment below, please take action.

My final action in this post?  Expressing gratitude to all who helped me create it and to you — of course! — for your action of visiting this blog today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Day 1576: Knowledge

When I search for other posts I’ve written here that have “Knowledge,” there’s none to be found. Consider yourselves warned.

Recently, when I was at the building department in Quincy Massachusetts, investigating the history of a particular property, I said to one of the staff there, “Knowledge is power.”  He replied, “Not at my house.”

Yesterday, knowledge showed up on a teabag.

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I wonder what the guy at the Quincy building department would think of that.

Do you agree that knowledge is power and that your strength is your own knowledge?

Regular readers of this blog have the knowledge that I always share my photos from the day before. Let’s see if those pictures include any knowledge.

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Those last three photos demonstrate my knowledge of the usefulness of having a helpful phrase ready whenever you need it. If you want more knowledge of the “In Case of Emergency, Break Glass” technique, that knowledge is in this post.

Did you know there are DOZENS of songs about knowledge? Here‘s one I know:

You know and I know that gratitude is important, so thanks to all who helped me create this knowledgeable post and to YOU (of course!)  for all the knowledge you bring, here and now.

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Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Day 1562: The mind

I hope you don’t mind that I’m starting out this post with a drawing of the mind that I did not draw.

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My mind noticed that drawing of the mind on the white board of my fellow psychotherapist, Megan, yesterday.  My mind is now doing its best to remember Megan’s explanation of that drawing — I believe it represents confusion on the top of the mind and the attempt to go deeper into the mind, past the confusion.

I hope Megan, who reads this blog, does not mind the way I explained her drawing.

Because the mind makes connections and comparisons, my mind is now remembering a drawing of the mind I made several years ago (which figured in this old post, if you don’t mind my linking to that).

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My mind is now noticing that both Megan and I have observed that human beings often have negative and uncomfortable thoughts and experiences on the top (or the front) of their minds and that they have to work hard to get past those.

Indeed, my mind has been struggling, lately, to get past negative and unhelpful thoughts including fortune-telling, catastrophizing, mind-reading, comparisons, shoulds, and the other common cognitive distortions listed here (if you don’t mind another link in this post).

I hope you don’t mind that today’s post has so few pictures:

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As my mind thinks seriously and thinks honestly, it wishes I had photos of last night’s family Seder.  My iPhone was otherwise engaged, FaceTiming with my son Aaron (whose fine mind is currently studying at the University of Edinburgh). Family members asked me last night if I minded Aaron being so far away from me. My mind seriously and honestly answered this way, “I miss him, but I don’t mind, because Edinburgh is the perfect place for him.”

My mind now wants to share this with you:

My mind now has the strange feeling I’ve ended other posts exactly like this before:  Thanks to all who helped me create this post and to you — of course! — for reading it.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Day 1550: Worrying and Planning

Earlier this week, I spoke to somebody in therapy who believed  worrying was a necessary part of planning.

I replied, without worrying about it, “No, no, no, no. Worrying is never helpful.  Never.”

While I rarely plan to use all-or-nothing statements like that, I do believe that worrying never helps. People often believe that worrying helps motivate planning. Actually, worrying wastes valuable time and energy while you’re planning.  Planning is much more productive and fun without the burden of worrying.

Even though we weren’t planning on it, we had a good discussion about the uselessness of worrying.  At the end of the therapy session, we both said, “No worries.”

Right now, I’m planning

  • to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight,” accompanying myself on a Kalimba and
  • to see a house by the water, which we might make an offer on.

I’ve been planning to write today’s blog post in order to let go of any worrying about all that.

I’m planning on sharing all the photos I took yesterday, without any worrying.

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Are you worrying about what music I’m planning to include here?

If you’re planning on leaving a comment, I’m not worrying about that, either.

I’m always planning to end each post with gratitude to all who helped me create it and to you — of course! — no matter what you’re planning today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Day 1548: Mean people

Yesterday morning, when I was thinking about mean people and also about what people mean, I saw this bumper sticker.

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What does that bumper sticker mean to you, people?

Who are the mean people?

What makes a person mean?

Does it matter what they really mean when they’re being mean?

Even though we may disagree on who the mean people are, can we agree that mean people suck?

Last night, when Michael and I were discussing the meaning of people being mean, he quoted a line from Bruce Springsteen‘s Nebraska.

“I guess there’s just a meanness in this world.”

I still don’t understand what it means that so many people in Nebraska (and in this world) voted for somebody I think is mean.

What do my other photos mean, people?

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That last photo means that I meant to take a better picture of what Michael cooked for me last night. Michael, who is the opposite of mean, is a mean cook. (And by mean cook, I mean a great one.)

What does Nebraska mean, people?

Is it mean that I’m asking so many questions?

Here’s my last question for this mean-people post: What does my last picture mean, people?

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It means that I’m grateful to all the people who helped me create this post and to you — of course! — for reading it, no matter what you think it means.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 37 Comments

Day 1515: Jealousy

Jealousy is one of those “negative” human emotions  which can make people uncomfortable.

Yesterday, the members of my therapy group discussed jealousy  without judgment. Any jealousy about that?

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I doubt there’s any jealousy about my handwriting and drawing abilities. This is what I wrote, yesterday, about jealousy:

  1. Jealousy is a human emotion. I am afraid of other people’s jealousy — I’m afraid the feeling is going to hurt me. But other people’s feelings and thoughts cannot hurt me.
  2. What makes jealousy worse for you? Lack of self-care. Cognitive distortions. Fear. $ Money.
  3. What helps you deal with jealousy? Self care. Recognizing it’s just a feeling. Leaning back and letting jealousy go by me without hurting me.

What are your thoughts and feelings about jealousy?

Do you have jealousy about any of my other photos from yesterday?

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Comparisons — the thief of joy — can often lead to jealousy.

Any jealousy about my having a wonderful son, who is turning 19 today and whose YouTube video has  90,000 views this morning?

Any jealousy about all the gratitude I have for everyone who helped me create this post and — of course! — for you?

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Categories: group psychotherapy, personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 36 Comments

Day 1447: Life is short

Yesterday, the wonderful Kathy at cardiac rehab said to me

Life is short

when we were discussing my long-lived wish to live the rest of my short life near a beautiful body of water.

Whenever somebody says

Life is short

I agree with that person, even though I’ve lived  much longer than most people expected I would.

To me,

Life is short

means

  • seize the moment,
  • don’t waste time,
  • do what you love,
  • spend time with good people,
  • enjoy yourself,
  • don’t settle for less,
  • take care of yourself,
  • be mindful,
  • balance your needs with other people’s needs,
  • do what works,
  • accept and experience all your feelings, and
  • appreciate the here and now.

What does

Life is short

mean to you?

Here are the pictures I took yesterday when I was seizing the moment, not wasting time, doing what I loved, spending time with good people, enjoying myself, not settling for less, taking care of myself, being mindful, balancing my needs with other people’s needs, doing what worked, accepting and experiencing all my feelings, and appreciating the here and now:

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Because life is short, I won’t keep you much longer, but here’s a short song with lots of life.

Short thanks from this short person to all those who helped me write this short post and — of course! —  to you, for improving my short life with your short visit, today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 48 Comments

Day 1342: Subjective Stress

Last week, I got my yearly review at work, which could have been a source of subjective stress.

Instead, my subjective opinion is that it was an excellent review, which reduced my stress.

My supervisor objectively stressed my need to reduce my subjective stress, as follows:

Goal for next year: Decrease subjective stress level. Keep mindful of her strengths and accomplishments and resource limitations while managing the intense level of requests so she can continue to provide excellent patient care with less stress to herself.

I subjectively want to stress this, here and now:

  • I subjectively think that “decrease subjective stress level” is an important subject for my supervisor to bring up.
  • The hospital where I work can be very stressful, subjectively and objectively.
  • I constantly explore the subject of stress reduction in group and individual therapy.
  • Like many health care professionals, I am better at helping others decrease stress than my own subjective self (which has been the subject of many articles in the health care field).

How is your subjective stress level?  What increases it?  How might you decrease it?

I’ve been thinking about the subject of stress a lot lately. My subjective opinion is that my stress level is higher than usual because my  son is leaving home to attend Edinburgh University this month and I’m having open heart surgery soon afterwards. Both these sources of stress of  have been the subject of many recent blog posts here.

Subjectively, it occurs to me that both those stressful events are objectively stressful. That is, most people would agree they would cause stress to anybody.  “Subjective stress” is the stress I might add to that stress by worrying about subjects I can’t control (like whether my son will receive his student visa in time before his scheduled flight on Saturday), or by subjecting myself to fortune telling, catastrophizing, blaming, comparisons, all-or-nothing thinking, personalizing,  mind reading, and all the other cognitive distortions common to human subjects (which have been the subject of many of my previous blog posts).

I’d like to stress that I often decrease my subjective stress level by taking subjective pictures of my surroundings and sharing them here, like so:

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Did any of those subjective photos increase your subjective stress level?  Decrease it?

Subjectively, I believe this number from Stephen Sondheim’s Company is a good example of subjective stress making an objectively stressful situation (a wedding) more stressful:

 

You leaving a subjective comment on any subject might reduce my subjective stress level.   Shall we find out?

Objective thanks to all who helped me create this subjective post and to you — of course! — for subjecting yourself to my blog, today.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 45 Comments

Day 1339: What’s missing?

Whenever I facilitate a therapy group, I write all the themes I notice up on the board. Because the discussion is always so rich, the themes I don’t miss will cover the entire board, from top to bottom and side to side.  Then, I ask the group, “What’s missing?”

Yesterday, when I asked that question, one of the group members did not hesitate to respond: “Love.” I didn’t miss the opportunity to add “love” to the themes I’d already written on the board.

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What’s missing from that photo?  Dozens of other themes we discussed yesterday in that therapy group.

What’s missing from this post?  Perhaps my other photos from yesterday?

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What’s missing from those photos?  Captions?

What’s missing for me is an explanation of this photo:

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That was an assignment I gave somebody (and myself) yesterday:  Whenever you imagine that people are angry at you, visualize that angry face changing into a neutral face.  What’s missing for many people is the ability to reality-test their fears that other people are having negative reactions to them.

What’s missing from this post?  Music?

What’s missing, now?

For me, it’s this: Since I’ll be missing six weeks of work when I go out on medical leave starting September 17, I have not missed opportunities to discuss with my patients how missing people can affect them.

What else is missing from this post?

Gratitude, of course, to all those who helped me create this what’s-missing post and to you, especially, for not being among the missing, today.

Categories: personal growth, Psychotherapy | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

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