Posts Tagged With: cognitive behavioral therapy

Day 2176: What’s the worst thing that anybody ever called you?

Posted on December 16, 2018 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, on Facebook, I posted and posed the question: “What’s the worst thing that anybody ever called you?”

Was that called for, to invite people to remember the worst thing they had ever been called? I believe that if we expose and share the worst thing we have ever been called, we can

consider the source,
examine whether we’ve internalized that negative label,
realize that it isn’t true, and
let it go.

Now, somebody may call me out and ask, “Ann, what if the worst thing that anybody ever called me IS true?” If there is truth in it, you can decide what you want to do about it. However, in all my years of asking this question, and people answering

stupid,
lazy,
worthless,
crazy,
selfish,
fat,
ugly,
incapable, and
other harsh, hurtful, and over-generalized judgments,

I have seen no helpful truth there.

We could do worse than examine today’s photos for worst things we’ve been called.

Has anyone ever called you despicable, including yourself?

Has anybody ever called you gross? Artificial?

Has anybody ever called you out for hanging on for too long?

Has anybody ever called you weird-looking? Scary? Too starey? Too expressive? Too transparent?

Has anybody ever called you an ass? Too distant?

Has anybody ever called you too spacy?

Has anybody ever called you foolish? Greedy? Not knowing what’s good for you?

Has anybody ever called you vain? Up-tight?

Has anybody ever called you pushy? Has anybody ever told you you’re not doing enough with your life?

Has anybody called you thoughtless? A doormat? Catty? A baby?

Has anybody ever called you a psychopath?

I’m working on a song called “Don’t Call Me” (and I’ve called out the lyrics here). Before I can call that song finished, here’s “Call Me” by Blondie.

Also, I found “The Worst Thing You’ve Been Called” on YouTube, which shows the same exercise I’ve done in my therapy groups.

I call that effective.

Now’s the time I call for comments.

I’ve never been called ungrateful (at least to my face). Thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: "Call Me" by Blondie, Barf Pops, Bystander Revolution, cognitive behavioral therapy, Despicable Me, harsh judgments, Labeling, name-calling, self esteem, the South Shore of Boston | 31 Comments

Day 2159: What’s allowed

Posted on November 29, 2018 by Ann Koplow

Because I often think about what’s allowed in this world, I just searched WordPress for any previous posts I might have written on this subject, because that’s allowed.

I can now allow, aloud, that I was surprised that the only post WordPress allowed in that “What’s allowed” search was Day 717: Interrupting. Four years ago, I allowed myself to write that looooong post (which features, doctors, cows, and lots of interrupting) when I was dealing with some very confusing medical issues. Writing about those medical issues daily and receiving helpful and supportive feedback from my readers allowed me to navigate through them. Thank goodness all that was allowed.

So, what allowed WordPress to find a connection between “What’s Allowed” and “Interrupting” today? I am allowing myself to speculate that interrupting, according to WordPress, is something that’s allowed. Therefore, I’m allowing myself to interrupt this post to share my photos from yesterday.

According to those photos, it’s allowed to

get irritated with technology (and other things),
dress animals in outfits,
be welcoming,
gobble until you wobble,
use cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia,
make it all work,
spend four days in Fenway, and
appreciate Prince …

… but it’s NOT allowed to go into stores with animals and bare feet (although maybe bare other things are allowed).

Sharing music is allowed, so here’s Prince with I Would Die 4 U.

While I wouldn’t exactly die 4 u to comment, I hope u know that all your thoughts and feelings about what’s allowed are allowed in the comments section, below.

Gratitude is always allowed here, so thanks to all who allowed me to create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: animals and bare feet, cognitive behavioral therapy, Fenway, Fratelli's Bakery, I Would Die 4 U, insomnia, interrupting, living with a heart condition, Prince, what's allowed, what's not allowed | 20 Comments

Day 2028: Comparisons

Posted on July 21, 2018 by Ann Koplow

Not to make comparisons, but I’ve written at least two previous posts about the cognitive distortion of comparisons (here and here).

Comparisons.
We compare ourselves to others, with ourselves coming out short. For example, “I’m not as smart (or good, competent, good-looking, lovable, etc.) as that other person.” Or, we compare ourselves to how we think we should be, or how we’ve been before. We might think that comparisons help motivate us, but they usually make us feel worse.

Yesterday, in a therapy group, we focused on comparisons.

I believe the human mind is built to make comparisons, in order to make meaning of what’s around us. However, when we compare ourselves to others, the resulting blows to our self-confidence and self-esteem can be beyond compare.

I’ve been making a different type of comparison lately. I compare the blog posts I’ve written after and before the November 2016 USA presidential election and I see differences. Less joy. Less hope. Less confidence in the future. Less faith in humans to be respectful and kind.

Some might compare me to a snowflake. Personally, I don’t mind being compared to a snowflake — each one is beautiful, intricate, and unique.

Let’s see how the rest of my photos compare to the one I’ve included above.

When I search YouTube for “comparisons,” most of the results have to do with money and wealth — not particularly useful comparisons.

If we don’t realize all animals are beyond compare, we will continue to lose more and more to extinction. Here’s a video showing comparisons of animal size:

The most recent comment on that video includes this: “Fake news.” I now compare my life to how it was before I heard that phrase so frequently.

Here‘s one result for “comparisons music.”

I look forward to comparisons in comments, below.

Now it’s time to compare two ways of my expressing gratitude to all who helped me create another “comparisons” post and — of course! — to YOU.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, politics | Tags: 2016 U.S. election, Animals size comparison, cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive distortions, fenway park, group therapy, One Guy 43 Voices, Roomie, snowflakes, South Shore of Boston | 21 Comments

Day 1937: What could go right?

Posted on April 21, 2018 by Ann Koplow

In therapy lately, several people have decided to ask themselves “What could go right?” instead of consistently focusing on what could go wrong.

I’m pulling for everyone to have success in this valiant effort to change habitually negative thinking. Would you like to follow us and redirect your thoughts from what could go wrong to what could go right?

What could go right, here and now?

These photos could go right.

For those of us who think about what could go wrong when we can’t fall asleep, it’s a relief to focus on what could go right.

There are endless YouTube videos about what could go wrong and this one about what could go right:

Gratitude for those who help me create these daily blog posts and for you — of course! — always goes right.

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: "What Else Could Go Right", cognitive behavioral therapy, fenway park, focus on the positive, reframing, Sonny Burgess, Ungame Questions, What keeps you up at night, Zoe the dog | 16 Comments

Day 1925: No reason at all

Posted on April 9, 2018 by Ann Koplow

Sometimes, I have judgmental and negative thoughts for no reason at all. These include

assumptions that other people are judging me and
negative expectations about the future.

I have many reasons to believe that I am not alone in having thoughts like that for no reason at all.

Yesterday, I had no reason at all for taking these photos.

I could think of no reason at all why those bags were hanging that way near the ocean yesterday.

Here’s an answer we can all use when there’s no reason at all:

Here’s Steve Martin doing his stand-up routine in front of dogs on The Tonight Show for no reason at all.

Even if you have no reason to leave a comment, please do so, just because.

As always, I have lots of reasons to thank those who help me create this blog and — of course! — YOU.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive distortions, comedy routine in front of dogs, Johnny Carson, selfie bunny, South Shore of Boston, Steve Martin, The Tonight Show | 21 Comments

Day 1909: Reasons Not to Read This Blog

Posted on March 24, 2018 by Ann Koplow

While I appreciate every reader who visits this blog, here are some reasons not to read it.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques make you angry.

You dislike cats and/or dogs.

Water views make you squeamish.

You avoid puns.

You are in therapy with me. If that is the case, there might be Too Much Information in this blog, which could interfere with the important work we are doing together. If you are in individual and/or group therapy with me, I strongly recommend we have a conversation about this.

You don’t like music videos.

You find gratitude annoying.

Warmest thanks to all who help me create this daily blog and — of course! — to YOU.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: cats, cognitive behavioral therapy, dogs, group therapy, individual therapy, MoBro94, puns, the therapeutic relationship, too much information? | 41 Comments

Day 1860: Love Never Dies

Posted on February 3, 2018 by Ann Koplow

“Love Never Dies” is

the title of today’s blog post,
the name of the musical I’m seeing today with my ex-sister-in-law, Deborah (whom I love), and
true, because even when we die, love lives on.

I have undying love for the people who made my 65th birthday so wonderful, including

Megan. I love Megan. Yesterday, Megan and I expressed an undying wish that, before we die, we let go of worry, anxiety, overthinking, harsh self-judgments, and fears about the future. I know that love never dies, but I hope that painful and unhelpful thoughts will die (or at least become less strong).

Photos on the internet never die, so here are more photos from yesterday:

My love never dies for chocolate, my boyfriend Michael (who bought me that yummy dessert), my son Aaron, my family, my friends, my work, and my blogging community.

Here’s “Love Never Dies” from Love Never Dies:

If you make a comment on the internet, it never dies.

My gratitude never dies for all who help me create these posts and — of course! — for YOU.

Categories: friendship, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Love Never Dies", Andrew Lloyd Weber, cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive distortions, letting go of anxiety, letting go of fear, Mistral, Sierra Boggess, unhelpful thoughts | 39 Comments

Day 1780: Healthy/Not so healthy

Posted on November 15, 2017 by Ann Koplow

When the days turn dark and cold, I witness more people talking about healthy and not so healthy habits.

Yesterday, in a therapy group, people made lists of healthy and not so healthy things in their lives.

Is it healthy to make lists like that?

Do you see healthy or not so healthy things in my other photos from yesterday?

Whenever I see a huge truck with evocative words and images like “Lost Angel,” I assume it’s full of alcohol. Is that healthy or not so healthy?

Here’s some healthy music on YouTube:

Is it healthy or not so healthy to make comments on the internet?

I know it’s healthy to express gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me create this post and to you — of course! — for reading.

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: acceptance, cognitive behavioral therapy, gratitude, habits, healthy food, holiday eating, junk food, Lost Angel, The Healthy Habits Song for Kids, Yogi Tea | 29 Comments

Day 1757: Don’t take it personally

Posted on October 23, 2017 by Ann Koplow

Don’t take it personally, but I’m reusing a photo from two days ago to start off this blog post.

Don’t take it personally, but I’ve personally blogged about personalization — the cognitive distortion of taking things too personally — several times before (including here, here, and here).

Yesterday, my niece Laura

(on the left, next to her daughter Victoria) told me that people might take it personally when I recently blogged about a get-together at my place next weekend, because I hadn’t invited them. I told Laura, “Don’t take it personally. That’s a gathering for a professional organization of group therapists.”

I hope Laura and Victoria don’t take it personally that I didn’t take a better picture of them yesterday.

Don’t take it personally that I personally took all these photos yesterday and you’re not in any of them.

Actually, don’t take it personally that I said you weren’t in any of those photos and you are, because you’re my ex-sister-in-law Deborah (who appears in several portraits above and who designed and built another beautiful home for sale), Cher, Audrey who works at Pet Life, or Harley the cat.

Don’t take it personally that I have to rush and finish this post before I go to work.

Don’t take it personally that I’m using Michael Brecker’s tune “Nothing Personal” again in this blog.

Please take it personally that I’m thanking everybody who helps me create these blog posts and — of course! — YOU.

Categories: cognitive behavioral therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Nothing Personal", Cher, cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive distortions, Deborah Fairbanks, gratitude, Michael Brecker, Personalization | 18 Comments

Day 1632: This place matters

Posted on June 20, 2017 by Ann Koplow

This place matters, because we’re here, now.

Your place matters, no matter where you are.

This place in downtown Boston matters:

The place where I’m writing this blog matters, even though we’re leaving it this summer. Yesterday, I took care of legal matters in selling this place.

The law matters, every place.

My office — where people learn to recognize and reduce cognitive distortions — matters.

I placed that sign back up on my office wall yesterday, because those cognitive distortions matter. Does it matter that I’ve placed parentheses around the feelings caused by those all-too-common human and automatic thoughts?

Do these photos of other places matter?

The meals that Michael places on our plates matter, because they are SO delicious.

Searching “this place” on YouTube matters.

When I was in a difficult place as a kid, seeing David McCallum on The Man from U.N.C.L.E. mattered a lot to me.

Your comments make this place matter much, much more.

Gratitude matters! That’s why I place it at the end of every post. Many thanks to all who help me place my daily blog on WordPress and — of course! — to you, for placing yourself here.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: "We've Got to Get Out of This Place", CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive distortions, David McCallum, downtown Boston, Legal Crossing, moving on, The Animals, what matters | 26 Comments