This is not the only year I’ve been writing this once-a-day, letting-go-of-judgment blog. I started this 1.6 years ago (but who’s counting?).
This is not the only post I’ve written about my passion — doing group therapy at a major Boston hospital’s Primary Care Practice.
Yesterday, my therapy group was the largest it’s ever been. As usual, the people there had many differences — age, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, size, personality, life experience, class, country of origin, economic situation, diagnosis, and reason for being in the group. And yet, they all shared something — the wish to feel and do better in their lives.
That was not the only thing they had in common, as we all discovered. Yesterday, somebody — who had never attended a therapy group before — suggested we work on shame.
I’ve written, many times, about the experience of shame, in posts here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here , here, here , here, here, here, here , here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here (and those are not the only ones, believe me).
As I’ve often expressed, Shame says:
There is something wrong with me.
I am broken.
I am abnormal.
I am weird.
I am the only one.
What’s one cure for shame? Finding out that all those things …
… are NOT true.
Shame on shame, for lying, so shamefully.
At the end of yesterday’s group — after people shared thoughts, feelings, experiences, and images of shame — I heard something, voiced again and again:
I’m grateful to know I’m not the only one.
Yesterday’s group was not the only one where I’ve heard that sentiment expressed.
That’s what therapy groups are for, I believe — to reduce shame. To connect people, in a vulnerable, safe, and authentic way. To give people room to realize they’re
Not the only one.
At this point, if you suspect I’m about to share a song I love, I’ll bet you’re not the only one.
(YouTube video of Bonnie Raitt‘s “Not the Only One” found here)
At this point, if you know I’ll be sharing some photos I took yesterday, you’re not the only one there, either.
The images, thoughts, feelings, and experiences I’ve shown you here, today, are not the only ones I could have shared. I could write a lot more about “Not the Only One.”
However, yesterday’s group is not the only one I’m doing this week. I have more group work to do, very soon.
Many thanks to Bonnie Raitt, to Paul Brady (for the lyrics to “Not the Only One”), to all those who share in groups of any kind, and to you — of course! — for being not the only one reading this post, here and now.
