quiz

Day 517: What is the theme of this post?

Posted on June 1, 2014 by Ann Koplow

I have lots to show & tell you, dear readers — of events, images, thoughts, and feelings of the last several days.

I’m not sure how to characterize these or link them. However, from my experience of doing therapy groups with very different people gathering together, I know that common themes always emerge.

So let’s see what emerges today, shall we?

After recovering from a month-long bout of pneumonia, I worked many hours last week. During that time, I took some nourishing and rejuvenating breaks from work that I love, and saw the following (in order of appearance):

(Our best guess, as Michael and I puzzled about the use of the above gear for the on-the-go pet: Maybe that’s for dogs getting off of planes.)

That’s a free banana-flavored marshmallow, at Strip-T’s Restaurant in Watertown.

So one possible theme for this post could be … The Best Things in Life Are Free.

And brunch was free, yesterday, with my long-time friend Lawry, his wife Patty, his daughters Leah, Cory and Sarah (who just graduated college and was moving to New York right after brunch), Lawry’s sister Beverly, my ex-sister-in-law Deborah, and my son Aaron.

One theme of the brunch was music. Lawry invited Deborah to brunch because, having heard her wonderful voice, in the 1970’s, on a locally-popular-in-Boston, novelty-radio hit song (written by Howard Letovsky) …

…. Lawry sang this song to his daughters, as they were growing up, in California. At brunch yesterday, Lawry and his daughters sang “Dead Frogs” the way they remembered it.

That’s Sarah, Cory, and Lawry, right before they (and Leah) sang “Dead Frogs.” (I didn’t take any photos of the actual performance, in order not to distract.)

After hearing them sing, Deborah said their devotion to the novelty song she had sung, so many years ago, reminded her of the movie Galaxy Quest — where an entire planet based their civilization on a Star-Trek-type TV show.

Then, Sarah and Lawry gave a brief, pre-Sarah-leaving performance of another beloved song:

As you can see, I took a quick, surreptitious shot of that.

Next, Lawry got his wish to hear Deborah sing all the actual words* of “Dead Frogs,” which my son and I were lucky enough to witness, as the rest of the family said goodbyes to each other.

Here are some photos of her family, as Sarah leaves for her excellent adventure in New York:

(left to right: Patty, Sarah, Lawry, Cory, Leah)

After all the free stuff, dead frogs, and goodbyes in this post, are people up for a few more images, from yesterday afternoon?

I hope so, because here they are:

So, what do YOU think is the theme of this post?

Whatever it is, thanks to Lawry and his family, to my family (including Deborah, Michael, and my son), to Howard Letovsky, to frogs dead and alive, to those who share music anywhere, to marshmallows, to local teams and radio stations, to Robert Morse (who is singing and dancing in one of the links above), to nature reservations, to people who make connections and meaning as best they can, and to you — of course! — for your visit today.

* The YouTube clip of “Dead Frogs” in this post doesn’t have all the actual words, either. If you want to hear the full rendition, here‘s a video Mr. Letovsky created of the complete 13-minute opera, with “Dead Frogs” at the very end. If you watch it, that’s Deborah’s voice (but not Deborah).

Want more history for that song? In the 1970’s, the very popular Boston-based radio station WBCN played that song, a lot. I was a fan. When I first met Aaron’s father/Deborah’s brother, where we both worked at a local environmental research company, he and I interacted about “Dead Frogs.” Deborah tells the story this way:

My brother told me that a woman** at work was singing “Dead Frogs” and he said to her, “My sister sings that song.” The woman** replied, “Everybody sings that song.” And my brother said, “No. My sister really sings that song.”

** Which would be me.

Categories: inspiration, Nostalgia, personal growth, photojournalism, quiz | Tags: Alewife Reservation, Dead Frogs, Howard Letovsky, Muddy River, Strip-T's Restaurant | 36 Comments

Day 512: Up in the Air

Posted on May 27, 2014 by Ann Koplow

“Up in the air” means

(of a plan or issue) still to be settled; unresolved.
“the fate of the power station is up in the air”

… according to Google.

Because of the way my mind works, I’m now wondering why the fate of the power station (in the example, above) is up in the air. Perhaps that has to do with what kind of power station it is, where it’s located, and other factors.

I’ll never know. So I guess that’s up in the air, too.

I’ve written before, here, about dealing with uncertainty. Indeed, that’s another possible title for this blog: “The Year(s) of Living With Uncertainty.” Because we all deal with uncertainty, all the time, don’t we?

Right now, you might be up in the air, regarding which uncertainties are on my mind. Right now, I’m aware of uncertainties regarding:

health
work
relationships
home

But if we look into the future, uncertainties regarding all those things are always there, in some way, aren’t they? And depending on how we define the scope of each item on the above list, the uncertainties might change.

For example, we might define the scope of “home” to be our residence, our neighborhood, our country, our planet, the universe …

Eeeek! That felt a little overwhelming.

Here’s another example. I might define my health to include my diet, specifically, what should I eat, this morning, that will (1) give me energy and (2) do no harm — to me or anybody else?

Eeeek! That felt a little overwhelming.

I also want to let my readers know that — despite my Eeeek!’s — I am not worried about things, right now, despite inevitable uncertainties.

Why not? Actually, I’m up in the air about that, too.

Let me see if my iPhone photos will give me any clues.

Here’s one:

Yesterday, I included that photo in Day 511: All-request Weekend. When I took that picture — two days ago in Cambridge MA — I was trying to capture someone who was up in the air, in a different way.

If you look closely at the shadows, I think you’ll see it, too.

Somehow, every time I look at that picture, I am the opposite of worried.

I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave the “opposite of worried” up in the air, right now. I have to go up in the air and prepare to depart the place where I live.

Wow! That last sentence is really ambiguous, isn’t it?

Rather than leave you up in the air about that, here’s my meaning: I need to end this post, go upstairs, get ready for work, and leave my home.

Is there more I could write about this? Of course! Are there questions unanswered? Always!

Where ARE all those unexpressed words and thoughts?

Guess.

Thanks to anything and everybody that’s up in the air, in any way, right now. Oh, and thanks to people who are down-to-earth, too. Of course, I thank you, especially, for dropping by.

Nope. There are no footnotes, today. While I had a few while composing this post, I moved them all up (in the air).

Categories: inspiration, personal growth, quiz | Tags: dealing with uncertainty, letting go of uncertainty, meaning of up in the air | 14 Comments

Day 496: Fun with Phobias (Part III*)

Posted on May 11, 2014 by Ann Koplow

Several months ago, I wrote two posts about phobias (here and here), which I defined like so:

… personal, inexplicable, exaggerated, and illogical fears I’m feeling …. in the present.

When I thought of “Fun with Phobias” in February, I knew it was a personal blogging goldmine (or “cash cow,” as people say in the marketing biz). That is, this was a topic I could use repeatedly, getting new value from it with minimal effort.

And yet, while I returned to that blogging golden cow the very next day, I have not used it since.

In the therapy biz, here’s a question people often ask:

Why now?

That is, why am I returning to this topic, on this particular day, after a hiatus of many months? As usual, I have a multi-part answer:

A friend recently used the word “fearless” to describe me. I took issue with that label, and we discussed how I (and he, too) actually do this:

I have lots of seemingly unrelated photos I want to show you, and — since I am capable of feeling fear about almost everything — this topic should provide an easy way to introduce whatever-the-hell pictures I want.
It’s Mother’s Day, and Mom-o-phobia is something some people may have felt or experienced, at least for moments (although I’m not experiencing that now, in any way).

While I could, at this point, indulge in some Intro-Blog-o-Phobia (the fear of writing a not-good-enough beginning for a post) … instead, let’s proceed to phobias with photos.

Okay!

1. Miss-o-Phobia.

The fear of missing things — including people, experiences, and objects (in the past, present, and future).

For example, I saw this penguin, a week or so ago:

Then, a few days ago, I took another picture at the same location, to show how a tree there had blossomed:

And, while I noticed changes to the tree … what did I totally miss? Changes to the penguin.

Eeeeek!

These days, I might also experience Miss-o-Phobia about:

Co-workers.
The groups and individuals I do psychotherapy with (when my health is better).
My mother.
My father.
Anything or anybody not in my immediate vicinity, at the present moment.

Eeeeek!

2. Ticket-o-Phobia.

Two meanings: (a) the fear of forgetting, losing, or otherwise not-having-on-hand a necessary ticket (for a trip or an event) and (b) the fear of getting a parking ticket.

Note: The latter manifestation of this phobia is often co-morbid* with Quarterlessness-o-phobia, the fear of not having the correct change.

Eeeek!

3. New-o-phobia.

The fear of experiencing something or somebody never encountered before.

I experienced this feeling yesterday, on my way to meet somebody new:

Wait! Who is that?

Guesses, anybody?

Time’s up!

That’s The Culture Monk, a blogger I admire, a/k/a Kenneth Justice. Kenneth has been taking his show on the road, with his “Drinking in the Culture Tour,” and I went to see him at a coffee house in Cambridge, MA.

It was great to hang with Kenneth for an hour, and talk about many things, including the past, present, and future of blogging and (not surprisingly) fear (eeeek!).

I told Kenneth, when I met him, that he wasn’t as intimidating as I had feared. Instead, he was instantly easy to talk to (which I also knew, on some level, from reading his blog).

As usual, my fears of the new — once I faced them — were unfounded.

And, as I was reminding myself on my way to meet him, Kenneth was NOT new to me. I have been meeting up with him, here in the blog-o-sphere, for quite a while.

Whenever you encounter something new, familiarity is also there somewhere (although you might miss it).

Speaking of that, those who are familiar with ME may have noticed, in that last photo, somebody else I admire: Jackie Chan*** (in the lower left).

Yes, Jackie Chan was NOT new to me yesterday and … neither was The Culture Monk.

So, maybe the old saying is true:

There is nothing new under the sun.

Which gives me a GREAT excuse to end this post with some other photos, recently taken under the sun.

In order of appearance:

Happy Mother’s Day!

Thanks to everything and everybody who helped me write this post, including fears, Susan Jeffers, parents, work, Kenneth Justice, Jackie Chan, the sun, the Dalai Lama, and … you!

* The number in the post title is a roman numeral meaning “3,” although I could easily have written 110 previous posts about this topic.

** “Co-morbid” in the therapy biz means “occurring at the same time.” Despite the way it looks, it has nothing to do with death. (Eeeek!)

*** I’ve blogged about Jackie Chan before: here, here, here, and here.

Categories: inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism, quiz | Tags: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Jackie Chan, Kenneth Justice, Letting go of fears, Susan Jeffers, The Culture Monk | 29 Comments

Day 495: What’s underneath?

Posted on May 10, 2014 by Ann Koplow

The title of today’s post is inspired by this pair of photos, which I took yesterday:

Photo #1:

Photo #2:

My next thought about “What’s Underneath?” is this: That’s a therapeutic technique I’ve witnessed, to encourage people to go deeper and get a better understanding of their thoughts and feelings. For example, if somebody expresses a feeling or experience, such as:

I am confused

… the question “What’s underneath?” is repeated, like so:

I am confused.

What’s underneath?

Not knowing a lot of things about the future.

What’s underneath?

Fear that things won’t turn out well.

What’s underneath?

Unhappiness about feeling ill.

What’s underneath?

An expectation that I should be feeling better.

What’s underneath?

Hunger.

What’s underneath?

Hey! What’s with all these questions? I need to go get breakfast!

Geesh. Some people just don’t know when to stop questioning.

But, I think that gives you an idea of that technique, which people can find quite useful.

What else do I want to show you, today?

How about some more photos from yesterday?

Question: What’s underneath those cows?

Answer: An elevator door, in a parking lot where I had left my car, last month, when I was a patient in the hospital. Yesterday, my son and I were waiting for the elevator to take us to see Eddie Izzard.

At this point in the post, you may be thinking

I am confused

… but I think I can clear that up. The parking lot is attached to the hospital where I receive my medical care AND it’s located in Boston’s theater district.

Here’s another photo:

Question: What’s underneath that?

Answer: My son, me, and many, many other people, going into the theater to see Eddie Izzard.

At this point in the post, some of you may be asking a different question:

How was Eddie Izzard, Ann?

He was brilliant.

Thanks to cats, questioners, answerers, sons, Tufts Medical Center parking lot, the Citi Center, Eddie Izzard, and (is there any question?) you, for reading today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, quiz | Tags: Eddie Izzard, exploring feelings, expressing feelings, fears about illness, fears about the future, letting go of fear | 45 Comments

Day 494: Facial Expressions

Posted on May 9, 2014 by Ann Koplow

I am very attuned to facial expressions.

Why?

I am a psychotherapist (working with people individually and in groups),
that has been a way for me to learn, grow, and survive in this world, and
human beings just are that way, okay?*

I am thinking about facial expressions, this morning, because of an automatic, unhelpful habit:

I am very quick to imagine other people’s facial expressions changing, negatively, in response to me.

For example:

If I am running late, I imagine the faces of the person or people I am going to meet, wearing expressions of disappointment, disapproval, or (eeek!) disgust.
If I make a mistake, I imagine faces with expressions of disappointment, disapproval or disgust.
If somebody needs something, and I am unable to provide it, I imagine that person’s face showing disappointment, disgust, or disapproval.
If I am considering asking for something I need, I imagine people’s faces showing disappointment, disapproval, disgust, or (eeek!) disinterest.
If I write (or otherwise express) something that I’m not very happy with, I imagine people’s faces showing disapproval, disinterest, disgust, or disappointment.
If I am ailing or absent, I imagine people’s faces showing disinterest, disappointment, disgust, or disapproval.
If I get rejected by somebody (for example, the readers for the BlogHer contest), I imagine faces with expressions of disapproval, disinterest, disappointment, or disgust.
If I am going for something new that requires somebody else’s approval (e.g., an audition, application, or interview), I imagine people’s faces showing disinterest, disapproval, disgust, or disappointment.
If I am disappointed or angry, and I’m considering telling somebody about that, I imagine their faces turning to expressions of …. well, lots of words beginning with the letter “d.”

Arrrghh!* How much time have I spent in my life, feeling bad about such things?*

I can’t answer that question. But if I could, the results might trigger another “d” word. Say, depression.

Here’s my wish, right now: I would like to break that old habit — of so easily imagining people’s facial expressions changing, negatively.

I don’t want to do that, ever again! It’s not helpful! AND, I’ve done it enough, so far, for several lifetimes.

I’ve served my sentence, for a crime I did NOT commit!

Let me out, Warden, from this unfair prison! NOW!!!*

(pant, pant, pant)

My plan for this post, people, was to show you facial expressions,of many kinds.

So let’s see what Google Images has for the word “warden,” which just popped up, in that previous paragraph.

Hmmmm. Lots of confusing options. What to choose, what to choose?*

How about this one:

(I found that image here)

Hmmmm. I wonder if I’ll get into trouble, using a stock image like that, in this post.

Hey! You know what? I did NOT imagine people with negative expressions on their faces, just now.

Instead, I thought this: if somebody doesn’t like it …. SUE ME!*

What are they going to do, send me to jail?

So … going back to my intent for this post, I will now show you several faces, and ask you to interpret their expressions. Ready to play along?

Okay!

Facial expression #1:

(Well, I figure this: if there’s going to be any consequences about using this photo, I’m already in trouble, so why not use it again?)

Facial Expression #2:

Facial Expression #3:

Facial Expression #4:

Facial Expression #5:

Facial Expression #6:

Facial Expression #7:

Those last three faces have shown up in previous posts (see here and here). Let’s end this quiz, about facial expressions, with somebody new.

Facial Expression #8:

(I found that image here.)

Who’s that? That’s Eddie Izzard! My son and I have tickets to see him, tonight.*

It’s time to end this post, so I can rest up for activities ahead.

Thanks to those who express themselves (facially and otherwise), to anybody who interprets facial expressions, to people everywhere who are trying to give up bad habits, and to you, especially, for reading today (no matter what expressions you’ve had on your face).

* More questions: what facial expression do you imagine I had, when I wrote that sentence?

Categories: inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism, quiz | Tags: Eddie Izzard, Facial expressions, Fears about other people's reactions, Helen Keller quote, Letting go of assumptions about others, letting go of cognitive distortions, object constancy, overdeveloped superego | 54 Comments