Monthly Archives: May 2014

Day 496: Fun with Phobias (Part III*)

Posted on May 11, 2014 by Ann Koplow

Several months ago, I wrote two posts about phobias (here and here), which I defined like so:

… personal, inexplicable, exaggerated, and illogical fears I’m feeling …. in the present.

When I thought of “Fun with Phobias” in February, I knew it was a personal blogging goldmine (or “cash cow,” as people say in the marketing biz). That is, this was a topic I could use repeatedly, getting new value from it with minimal effort.

And yet, while I returned to that blogging golden cow the very next day, I have not used it since.

In the therapy biz, here’s a question people often ask:

Why now?

That is, why am I returning to this topic, on this particular day, after a hiatus of many months? As usual, I have a multi-part answer:

A friend recently used the word “fearless” to describe me. I took issue with that label, and we discussed how I (and he, too) actually do this:

I have lots of seemingly unrelated photos I want to show you, and — since I am capable of feeling fear about almost everything — this topic should provide an easy way to introduce whatever-the-hell pictures I want.
It’s Mother’s Day, and Mom-o-phobia is something some people may have felt or experienced, at least for moments (although I’m not experiencing that now, in any way).

While I could, at this point, indulge in some Intro-Blog-o-Phobia (the fear of writing a not-good-enough beginning for a post) … instead, let’s proceed to phobias with photos.

Okay!

1. Miss-o-Phobia.

The fear of missing things — including people, experiences, and objects (in the past, present, and future).

For example, I saw this penguin, a week or so ago:

Then, a few days ago, I took another picture at the same location, to show how a tree there had blossomed:

And, while I noticed changes to the tree … what did I totally miss? Changes to the penguin.

Eeeeek!

These days, I might also experience Miss-o-Phobia about:

Co-workers.
The groups and individuals I do psychotherapy with (when my health is better).
My mother.
My father.
Anything or anybody not in my immediate vicinity, at the present moment.

Eeeeek!

2. Ticket-o-Phobia.

Two meanings: (a) the fear of forgetting, losing, or otherwise not-having-on-hand a necessary ticket (for a trip or an event) and (b) the fear of getting a parking ticket.

Note: The latter manifestation of this phobia is often co-morbid* with Quarterlessness-o-phobia, the fear of not having the correct change.

Eeeek!

3. New-o-phobia.

The fear of experiencing something or somebody never encountered before.

I experienced this feeling yesterday, on my way to meet somebody new:

Wait! Who is that?

Guesses, anybody?

Time’s up!

That’s The Culture Monk, a blogger I admire, a/k/a Kenneth Justice. Kenneth has been taking his show on the road, with his “Drinking in the Culture Tour,” and I went to see him at a coffee house in Cambridge, MA.

It was great to hang with Kenneth for an hour, and talk about many things, including the past, present, and future of blogging and (not surprisingly) fear (eeeek!).

I told Kenneth, when I met him, that he wasn’t as intimidating as I had feared. Instead, he was instantly easy to talk to (which I also knew, on some level, from reading his blog).

As usual, my fears of the new — once I faced them — were unfounded.

And, as I was reminding myself on my way to meet him, Kenneth was NOT new to me. I have been meeting up with him, here in the blog-o-sphere, for quite a while.

Whenever you encounter something new, familiarity is also there somewhere (although you might miss it).

Speaking of that, those who are familiar with ME may have noticed, in that last photo, somebody else I admire: Jackie Chan*** (in the lower left).

Yes, Jackie Chan was NOT new to me yesterday and … neither was The Culture Monk.

So, maybe the old saying is true:

There is nothing new under the sun.

Which gives me a GREAT excuse to end this post with some other photos, recently taken under the sun.

In order of appearance:

Happy Mother’s Day!

Thanks to everything and everybody who helped me write this post, including fears, Susan Jeffers, parents, work, Kenneth Justice, Jackie Chan, the sun, the Dalai Lama, and … you!

* The number in the post title is a roman numeral meaning “3,” although I could easily have written 110 previous posts about this topic.

** “Co-morbid” in the therapy biz means “occurring at the same time.” Despite the way it looks, it has nothing to do with death. (Eeeek!)

*** I’ve blogged about Jackie Chan before: here, here, here, and here.

Categories: inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism, quiz | Tags: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Jackie Chan, Kenneth Justice, Letting go of fears, Susan Jeffers, The Culture Monk | 29 Comments

Day 495: What’s underneath?

Posted on May 10, 2014 by Ann Koplow

The title of today’s post is inspired by this pair of photos, which I took yesterday:

Photo #1:

Photo #2:

My next thought about “What’s Underneath?” is this: That’s a therapeutic technique I’ve witnessed, to encourage people to go deeper and get a better understanding of their thoughts and feelings. For example, if somebody expresses a feeling or experience, such as:

I am confused

… the question “What’s underneath?” is repeated, like so:

I am confused.

What’s underneath?

Not knowing a lot of things about the future.

What’s underneath?

Fear that things won’t turn out well.

What’s underneath?

Unhappiness about feeling ill.

What’s underneath?

An expectation that I should be feeling better.

What’s underneath?

Hunger.

What’s underneath?

Hey! What’s with all these questions? I need to go get breakfast!

Geesh. Some people just don’t know when to stop questioning.

But, I think that gives you an idea of that technique, which people can find quite useful.

What else do I want to show you, today?

How about some more photos from yesterday?

Question: What’s underneath those cows?

Answer: An elevator door, in a parking lot where I had left my car, last month, when I was a patient in the hospital. Yesterday, my son and I were waiting for the elevator to take us to see Eddie Izzard.

At this point in the post, you may be thinking

I am confused

… but I think I can clear that up. The parking lot is attached to the hospital where I receive my medical care AND it’s located in Boston’s theater district.

Here’s another photo:

Question: What’s underneath that?

Answer: My son, me, and many, many other people, going into the theater to see Eddie Izzard.

At this point in the post, some of you may be asking a different question:

How was Eddie Izzard, Ann?

He was brilliant.

Thanks to cats, questioners, answerers, sons, Tufts Medical Center parking lot, the Citi Center, Eddie Izzard, and (is there any question?) you, for reading today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, quiz | Tags: Eddie Izzard, exploring feelings, expressing feelings, fears about illness, fears about the future, letting go of fear | 45 Comments

Day 494: Facial Expressions

Posted on May 9, 2014 by Ann Koplow

I am very attuned to facial expressions.

Why?

I am a psychotherapist (working with people individually and in groups),
that has been a way for me to learn, grow, and survive in this world, and
human beings just are that way, okay?*

I am thinking about facial expressions, this morning, because of an automatic, unhelpful habit:

I am very quick to imagine other people’s facial expressions changing, negatively, in response to me.

For example:

If I am running late, I imagine the faces of the person or people I am going to meet, wearing expressions of disappointment, disapproval, or (eeek!) disgust.
If I make a mistake, I imagine faces with expressions of disappointment, disapproval or disgust.
If somebody needs something, and I am unable to provide it, I imagine that person’s face showing disappointment, disgust, or disapproval.
If I am considering asking for something I need, I imagine people’s faces showing disappointment, disapproval, disgust, or (eeek!) disinterest.
If I write (or otherwise express) something that I’m not very happy with, I imagine people’s faces showing disapproval, disinterest, disgust, or disappointment.
If I am ailing or absent, I imagine people’s faces showing disinterest, disappointment, disgust, or disapproval.
If I get rejected by somebody (for example, the readers for the BlogHer contest), I imagine faces with expressions of disapproval, disinterest, disappointment, or disgust.
If I am going for something new that requires somebody else’s approval (e.g., an audition, application, or interview), I imagine people’s faces showing disinterest, disapproval, disgust, or disappointment.
If I am disappointed or angry, and I’m considering telling somebody about that, I imagine their faces turning to expressions of …. well, lots of words beginning with the letter “d.”

Arrrghh!* How much time have I spent in my life, feeling bad about such things?*

I can’t answer that question. But if I could, the results might trigger another “d” word. Say, depression.

Here’s my wish, right now: I would like to break that old habit — of so easily imagining people’s facial expressions changing, negatively.

I don’t want to do that, ever again! It’s not helpful! AND, I’ve done it enough, so far, for several lifetimes.

I’ve served my sentence, for a crime I did NOT commit!

Let me out, Warden, from this unfair prison! NOW!!!*

(pant, pant, pant)

My plan for this post, people, was to show you facial expressions,of many kinds.

So let’s see what Google Images has for the word “warden,” which just popped up, in that previous paragraph.

Hmmmm. Lots of confusing options. What to choose, what to choose?*

How about this one:

(I found that image here)

Hmmmm. I wonder if I’ll get into trouble, using a stock image like that, in this post.

Hey! You know what? I did NOT imagine people with negative expressions on their faces, just now.

Instead, I thought this: if somebody doesn’t like it …. SUE ME!*

What are they going to do, send me to jail?

So … going back to my intent for this post, I will now show you several faces, and ask you to interpret their expressions. Ready to play along?

Okay!

Facial expression #1:

(Well, I figure this: if there’s going to be any consequences about using this photo, I’m already in trouble, so why not use it again?)

Facial Expression #2:

Facial Expression #3:

Facial Expression #4:

Facial Expression #5:

Facial Expression #6:

Facial Expression #7:

Those last three faces have shown up in previous posts (see here and here). Let’s end this quiz, about facial expressions, with somebody new.

Facial Expression #8:

(I found that image here.)

Who’s that? That’s Eddie Izzard! My son and I have tickets to see him, tonight.*

It’s time to end this post, so I can rest up for activities ahead.

Thanks to those who express themselves (facially and otherwise), to anybody who interprets facial expressions, to people everywhere who are trying to give up bad habits, and to you, especially, for reading today (no matter what expressions you’ve had on your face).

* More questions: what facial expression do you imagine I had, when I wrote that sentence?

Categories: inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism, quiz | Tags: Eddie Izzard, Facial expressions, Fears about other people's reactions, Helen Keller quote, Letting go of assumptions about others, letting go of cognitive distortions, object constancy, overdeveloped superego | 54 Comments

Day 493: Dogged Determination

Posted on May 8, 2014 by Ann Koplow

Our cat Harley saw a new veterinarian yesterday — Dr. Jake Tedaldi. During the introductions, I told Dr. Tedaldi that the vet at the shelter where we got Harley in October had written that Harley was “kind.”

I want to share with you the first sentence from Dr. Tedaldi’s visit description, which he left with us:

Harley is a cautious, possibly fretful fellow, but the term “kind” may actually be quite appropriate.

This strikes me as a helpful instance of the sometimes-not-so-helpful automatic process we humans have of labeling others (and ourselves).

Harley wasn’t the only one who saw a doctor yesterday. I saw one of mine, too, and it looks like I won’t be returning to work next week.

Now, might it not seem strange that this post — describing a cat and a non-working human — has the title “Dogged Determination”?

Well, this post is about to take a turn, people.

Yesterday evening, I went for a leisurely walk with my boyfriend, Michael, at an outdoor location (rare in these parts) where dogs can run free, without leashes.

Here are some photos from that walk:

The next four photos show a dog determinedly retrieving a ball, from a pond (my apologies for shooting into the sun):

The next group of pictures features another water-loving dog. While we weren’t formally introduced to any of the other canines in this post, we were to this one: Zoomy Bear.

When I first noticed Zoomy Bear, he was living up to his name — leaping over a fence to get to the water. Unfortunately, I did not capture any of his impressive jumps on my iPhone. This was my first shot of him:

His zoomy-ness blurred him a little, there.

He became less blurry once he returned to the walkway. Here’s Zoomy Bear with his owner (whose name I did not get):

Here’s what I especially remember about that encounter:

Departing from my usual routine, I neither (a) explained I was taking photos for this blog nor (b) got her email to send her this post.
She told us several interesting things, including how she and Zoomy Bear celebrated his most recent birthday (which included doggy pastry),
When I requested photos of the two of them, she said, “Oh! That will be a study in contrasts: He’s dirty and I’m clean.”
She used other labels about herself, including “loopy.” I disagreed with that label, in my thoughts and out loud.
Zoomy Bear’s breed name included the word “miniature” and (I think) “wolfhound.”
My phone died after that last photo, as I was trying to show her the images.
When I apologized for that (or, perhaps, for something else), she said, “Don’t worry.”

I am taking her advice.

I’m just glad that — despite not being able to record it on my phone — I remembered the name “Zoomy Bear.”*

Thanks to doctors who care for animals and humans, kind creatures everywhere, dogs (unleashed and leashed), those who zoom as best they can, and to you — of course! — for coming by here, today.

* I wonder if I’m spelling that correctly. It might be “Zoomy-Bear.”

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: cognitive distortion of labeling, Doctor Jake Tedaldi, Fresh Pond in Cambridge, Letting go of self-judgment, Letting go of worry, recovering from illness, taking care of oneself | 48 Comments

Day 492: It’s just a walk away

Posted on May 7, 2014 by Ann Koplow

As I recover — and am tender* with myself, through this healing process — I continue to go outside for short walks.

Observed yesterday:

As you can see, for the most part I was looking up. There were some interesting sights near ground level, too:

That doorway has appeared in a previous blog post, here. I’m glad to see it survived the winter, so well.

Here’s another angle on those daffodils:

I have a theory about why I took this next photo:

I think I really miss doing my therapy groups at work, where people sit around in circles.

Can you see that group, way in the distance, from another perspective?

I like the way the sign in this next shot is preparing you for another sign just up ahead (peeking out, to the right):

Okay! I have to stop now and get ready for some doctor’s appointments, for me and for this guy, too:

We think there might be something wrong with one of Harley’s ears. Let’s take a closer look:

I can’t see anything. Can you?

We’ll see what the different doctors have to say.

I’m grateful we’re all still walking around.

Thanks to those who look and listen, to doctors and walkers everywhere, and to you, especially, for dropping by today.

* In her comment in response to this recent post of mine, Val Boyko made this helpful observation: “Perhaps it is time to let go of ‘pneumonia’ in your thoughts and words, so your body can let go of it as well. Why not choose a new word to focus on that brings you towards wellness with each breath.” Inspired by that and other words of wisdom from her, I chose the word “tender” as my focus.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: close-up of cat's ear, flowering trees, recovering from illness, Spring in Boston, tiny door | 55 Comments

Day 491: Rejection, Schmejection (the sequel)

Posted on May 6, 2014 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, I received an email that included this:

Thank you for submitting your work for consideration for BlogHer’s 7th annual Voices and Photos of the Year. We received a record number of submissions this year (more than 2,500) and had an amazing time reading each and every one of them!

I wanted to let you know that we’ll be announcing the Voices and Photos of the Year honorees today on BlogHer.com, and that your submission(s) has not been selected this year. If you submitted multiple posts, you will only receive one email for all submissions.

About 11 months ago, I wrote a post named “Day 165: Rejection, Schmejection.” That post:

was one of the shortest ones I’ve written,
described a situation I could have labeled a personal rejection, and
referred to my then-15-year-old son recovering from a sudden lung illness, which had required him to be briefly hospitalized.

I could point to several parallels between those two points in time — 6/14/13 and yesterday — including this one: Yesterday morning, my son reported an ailment that seemed concerning. So we went to his doctor’s office.

He is fine. The nurse we saw, named Marie, said we were smart to come in.

Here are some photos from that doctor’s office visit, yesterday:

This was hanging on the wall of the examining room. The medical assistant told us that Marie has brought back several wall hangings, like that one, from a country she likes to visit. I’m thinking maybe it was Peru, but I’m not sure (I was distracted at the time).

Another wall hanging in the examining room. When I saw that, I thought, that would have made a great visual for my recent May Day post! The medical assistant pointed this out to us (which I doubt I would have noticed on my own): Somebody is chopping down the tree.

Here’s a close-up of the action:

However, that tree is still standing.

Also on the wall of the exam room:

Marie was wonderful — thorough, empathic, thoughtful, and respectful — throughout the exam. Afterwards, we accepted several gracious invitations to look at wall hangings in other rooms.

Hmmm.

Even though I thought I took a picture yesterday of one of Marie’s favorites, which had terrific details (including eyes on potatoes) …. there’s no such photo on my iPhone. Drat!

However, I can show you Marie, with another wall hanging, in her office:

As a bonus, we also saw my son’s doctor, Dr. Deborah Bershel, on our way out.

It was great to see her, and to let her know how much we appreciated Marie.

Here’s one more shot from yesterday, when we were returning to the car:

Okay!

Thanks to people who are as perfect as they can be; to BlogHer for many things, including recognizing bloggers I read and admire (e.g., Aussa Lorens and Eli from Coach Daddy); to Marie, Dr. Bershel, and the rest of the excellent staff at Davis Square Family Practice; and to you — of course! — for reading today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: BlogHer Voices of the Year, Davis Square Family Practice, dealing with feelings of rejection | 33 Comments

Day 490: Out with the bad air, in with the good

Posted on May 5, 2014 by Ann Koplow

Anybody else familiar with that phrase?

Out with the bad air, in with the good.

Let’s see what comes up, when I Google that …

(I found that YouTube video here)

Ah! It’s Inspector Clouseau, played by Peter Sellers, in “The Pink Panther” movies. I loved those movies and watched them with my son, when he was young.

Here’s what I notice/remember about that film clip, right now:

Somebody uses the word “pervert” in a labeling, judgmental way.
Chief Inspector Dreyfus is about to be discharged from a long stay at a mental rehabilitation facility, when he encounters his old nemesis, which seriously sets him back in his recovery.
Inspector Clouseau is both helping and (mostly) hurting his boss, although his intentions are good.
As usual, there are communication problems with Inspector Clouseau. In that scene, he pronounces the word “bump” as “bimp,” which is confusing, and stops the action (momentarily).
Inspector Clouseau says, “Out with the bad air, in with the good,” as (he believes) he is saving somebody’s life.

How do I relate that to my life, right now?

I am doing my best to NOT label myself (or other people) in a negative, unhelpful way, as I recover from pneumonia. Unhelpful labels for myself would include “invalid.” Unhelpful labels for others would include … “unhelpful.” It helps me, especially when I am struggling, to believe that everybody is doing the best they can. That helps me maintain life-sustaining connections. At the same time, it helps for me to ask for what I need, in an effective way.
I am dealing with old nemeses right now, specifically (a) illness and (b) the way illness can negatively affect my self-esteem.
Sometimes, it’s difficult for me to know what is helpful and what is hurtful, especially when I am dealing with unfamiliar situations, specifically pneumonia.
When I am not feeling well and when I am feeling “needier,” I seem to struggle, even more, with communicating clearly with others.
As a person recovering from pneumonia, I have some confusion about “bad air” and “good air,” including my ongoing choices of indoor, outdoor, and fresh air. Also, I know that “good” (mindful and deep) breathing helps with physical, mental, and emotional health, but when I am dealing with new, confusing, or concerning situations, it can be more difficult to breathe “good.” When I am anxious, ailing, or emotional, I tend to breathe “badly” — that is, less deeply and more shallowly. And I know I am not alone in that.

What else can Google show me, for “Out with the bad air, in with the good air,” this morning?

Here’s a blog post with that phrase in the title. And here’s the first line of that post:

There is an Italian proverb that when a door closes, a window opens elsewhere in the house.

I shall now consult my old friend “Google,” for the meaning of that proverb. Here’s what I found, at goodreads.com:

“When one door closes, another door opens; but we so often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”
― Alexander Graham Bell

I wonder if that is a helpful quote — in other words, what kind of air is that? — for me (and for you) this morning.

I just visited the Wikipedia page about Alexander Graham Bell, and here are two things I particularly noticed there:

He (and family members) dealt with debilitating illnesses. At one point, “his health faltered mainly through exhaustion.”
He was very focused on improving communication among people.

I ask you, dear readers: is there enough bad and/or good air in today’s post, at this point?

Before I end, I would like to include some visuals, as usual.

First, I’ll check the air in Google Images. Here are some visuals that came up for “Out with the bad air, in with the good” (in order of appearance):

(I found that image here)

I would also like to include some recent photos of my own. Here are two images, with inside air:

… and here are a few, with outside air:

Okay! Time for me to get some air.

Thanks to all those who helped me create this post, to people who are breathing different types of air right now, and to you — of course! — for reading today.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: air quality, Alexander Graham Bell quote, Inspector Clouseau clip, recovering from pneumonia, the effects of illness on connection with others, the effects of illness on self esteem | 31 Comments

Day 489: Mistakes and Consequences

Posted on May 4, 2014 by Ann Koplow

Wow! That’s quite a title: “Mistakes and Consequences.” I wonder if that sounds too grim or lecture-y … and might scare some readers away.

Since I don’t know (1) what I’m going to write here or (2) how other people are going to react, why should I wonder (or worry)?

Okay, I won’t!

So, where did that title come from?

This morning, before I began writing this, I made a mistake on this blogging site. It’s a mistake I commit quite regularly, in This World of Living Non-Judgmentally.

Here’s the mistake: When I am trying to respond to the latest comment on a post here, I often erroneously create a new comment, instead of creating a response.

Here’s my theory about why I repeat this error so often: The layout of my blog page invites me to make this error.

I am actually a bit embarrassed to confess these multiple mistakes, today. Why? Because I believe I’m capable of learning from my mistakes, and this kind of on-going erring might seem to contradict that.

And based on past evidence, I can learn from mistakes. However, for whatever reasons, there are certain errors I make over and over again. And this Response-Misplacement Mistake is one I’ve been making since I started this blog, and it’s one I just …can’t …. seem …. to shake.

I continue making this mistake even though I am aware of it — that is, I’m vigilant about my tendency to make it.

I continue to make this mistake even though I am aware of the consequences and consider them important.

Ah, the consequences. And what ARE the consequences?

Well, if I create a new comment — instead of replying to a reader’s comment as I intend — then, the commenter will not get a notification about my reply. To the reader who made the comment, it may seem like I have NOT noticed nor responded, even though I really have.

So what?

Well, this is one of my major concerns — here and elsewhere — which is related to communication and connection. I dread a disconnection. I worry about responses that go unheard or received.

Why?

Because, based on personal experience (and clinical research¹), I know this: When somebody communicates something and there is no response…. that can cause the reaction of shame.²

I’m not saying that my (1) responding (2) not responding, or (3) not seeming to respond to a comment is necessarily that important to anybody else. Also, regular readers of my blog probably know that I avoid shaming anybody else, if possible. So chances are that people would understand and forgive this mistake of mine.

Nevertheless, I spend a lot of time and energy — here and elsewhere — trying to NOT shame people.

Why?

Because I know how much shame can hurt.

So, where do I go from here, with this post?

I will declare these things, to be evident:

I do my best to respond back to comments.
I am prone to making a particular mistake³ here, that might create an appearance or impression that I have NOT responded (even when I think I have).
When I discover this mistake, I fix⁴ it, which means readers might get a notification about a very old comment.
When I make that kind of fix, I wonder how that appears to people, too.
I am working on letting go of concern about what other people think, in general.

Well, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I don’t know what reactions this blog post might evoke in others, but … it sure has helped me, to write it.

What now?

Well, I may have made another mistake here, today. That is, I wanted to show you some pictures I took yesterday, and I’m not sure whether I’ve created a framework where those photos will fit in.

But looking at declaration #5, above …. who cares?

Let the photo sharing begin!

I took that photo, yesterday. Possible mistake? Going outside. Possible consequences? Slower recovery from my pneumonia.

I’m going to pause the photo sharing, for one moment, to declare these things, which may (or may not) be evident:

Subsequent photos may share the same mistake and consequences.
I believe I am okay.

Where was I? Oh, yes … photos from yesterday.

That’s the same location shown above, with a different perspective.

This is the refrigerator door belonging to my son’s piano teacher. As I was taking this shot yesterday, my son asked, “What’s Whirlpool?” I realized, at that moment, that my son has yet to descend into the World of Major Appliances (unlike his mother, who is still dealing with an Evil Stove-Top).

I had to return to the dentist yesterday. I saw the above doorway, nearby. I am not making this up.

Something else I noticed, near my dentist‘s office.

Now, isn’t that the perfect concluding photo for this piece, about mistakes and consequences? I mean, it shows me getting ice cream on the same day I had to go to the dentist, people!

That’s not why I took the picture, though. Rania (pictured above, with cone) complimented me on my t-shirt, which was this one:

That t-shirt is a direct outgrowth of my blogging. So, I told Rania about this blog and she kindly agreed to appear in a post. Thank you, Rania!

Hmmmm. Maybe that’s NOT the perfect photo to end this piece about Mistakes and Consequences.

What about this one?

Why is THAT photo a good ending for this post? Because when we introduced our second cat, Harley (left), to Oscar (accustomed to ruling the roost for many years) last October, we thought it might be a mistake. The possible consequences? Two unhappy cats.

Equally possible, as I realized back then: No mistake and no consequences.

What do you think, dear readers?

Thanks to people who make mistakes, to all those brave enough to take action (despite fear, shame, concerns about what other people will think, and other obstacles), to those who comment (here or elsewhere), to anybody who has experienced a blogging mistake of mine, and to you — of course! — for reading today.

1 As usual, I am not citing any formal articles or research. This is MY blog, people, and I’m not in school anymore, so I don’t NEED to back things up with other people’s writings. Yippee!

2 Other posts I’ve written about shame include here, here, here, and here. Yes, I have no shame about linking to my own writings.

3 If you don’t know what that mistake is, you might need to start reading this post over again, from the beginning.

4 Here’s how I fix that mistake: (1) I copy what I originally wrote (sometimes many months ago) into the correct “response box” and (2) I trash the original comment. Hey! I never promised that my footnotes would be particular (1) illuminating or (2) interesting.

Categories: inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: consequences of actions, dealing with mistakes, dealing with shame, fear of disconnection, introducing a new cat, letting go of fear, making your own t-shirts, WordPress comments | 59 Comments

Day 488: E for Effort

Posted on May 3, 2014 by Ann Koplow

I have not ever received an “E” for Effort, in my educational experience.

I just googled “E for Effort.”

Here is Yahoo! Answers‘ explanation:

Is it A for effort or E for effort?

Best Answer

tichur answered four years ago

A for effort or E for effort has nothing to do with spelling. “Old school” grades got confused with a newer, less objective system.

Old School

E – Excellent
VG – Very Good
G – Good
S – Satisfactory
F – Fail

Modern terminology

A – superior
B – Above average
C – Average
D – Below average
F – Fail

Effort grades have little to do with academic ones. Effort means earnest attempt to achieve.

A for effort and E for effort mean the same thing…superior or excellent attempt to learn.

I want to thank tichur for the exemplary effort he put into that answer.

I will now elucidate the reasons for this title, this morning. As I experience recovery from pneumonia, everything seems like “too much” of an effort. Every exertion, exercise, etc. I extend equals exhaustion exceeding my expectations.

Eeeeek! Look at how many E’s I was able to use in that last sentence! And, I am NOT exhausted.

Excellent!

Expressing my emotions and experience helps, extraordinarily.

Eager for some images, experienced yesterday?

Would you give me an “A” or an “E” for my efforts, today?

Thanks to everyone everywhere effecting any extent of effort, to people who are old school or new school, and — especially! — to my exemplary, excellent, exacting, and extraordinary readers.

Categories: inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: flowering trees, recovering from illness, recovering from pneumonia, Springtime in Boston | 33 Comments

Day 487: Gratitude Attitude (stinky pinkies)

Posted on May 2, 2014 by Ann Koplow

Your post host (me, whee!) believes that a smart start makes inviting writing.

Perceive/receive a theme/scheme for today, okay?

Hmmm. I’m going to put a temporary, necessary stop to this priming rhyming, for clarity (or charity):

When I was a kid, my family played lots of guessing games. One of these was called “Stinky Pinkies.” Here’s how that worked: One person would think of a two-word phrase (usually an adjective and a noun, but not always) that rhymed, such as

Gratitude attitude

Post host

Smart start

Inviting writing

Priming rhyming

Stinky pinky

Then, that person would give the guessers a clue, such as:

A thankful way of thinking

A WordPress writer

An intelligent beginning

An attractive turn of phrase

A poem that sets up a premise

The name of a great game

And the game would be afoot!

My droll goal, for most of this post, is to show lots of shots of things for which I have a tankful of thankful, with some amusing using of this same game.

It’s up to you to provide guess success.

Stinky Pinky #1

True Clue: An elevating donation.

Residual visual:

mk created and posted that amazing picture yesterday, for my not-so-secret identity, Super-Recovery-Woman. I have a tankful of thankful for that.

Stinky Pinky #2

Clue Two: A cat using a computer

Residual Visual:

While that image speaks for itself, the answer is not up to my usual stringent rhyming standards, but … it’s good enough!

Stinky Pinky #3

New Clue: A lucky visitor.

Residual Visual:

That’s my dear friend, Megan, who visited me yesterday.

Stinky Pinky #4

Due Clue: A bashful fellow

Residual Visual:

Stinky Pinky #5

Clue, too: An incredible flower

Residual visuals:

Let the guessing, messing, and/or confessing begin!

Thanks to my family, mk, my cats, Pharrell Williams (whose video appears in Game #2), Megan, springtime, rhymers and guessers everywhere, true blue friends and readers, and to you — whoo hoo! — for your exquisite visit, today.