Posts Tagged With: mindfulness

Day 1032: Not There

In my therapy groups, people often express concern about the people who are not there. In response, I invite them to focus on the people who are there, including themselves.

I understand how those who are not there can overshadow those who are there. For example, this morning I spent some time wondering and worrying about people who used to show up regularly in the comment section of this blog, but who are not there. I can focus a lot on the people in my life who are not there (like my late parents) rather than the people who are there.

I am going to follow my own advice, today, and focus on the people who are there, including myself. I believe this will serve me well, as I

  1. give a presentation on my groups to my fellow social workers,
  2.  run two therapy groups,
  3. sit with people who are there for individual therapy, and
  4.  check who has visited this blog, throughout the day.

What might help me focus on what is there, rather than on what is not there?

Mindfulness — the practice of being as much as possible in the moment — helps me and others focus on what’s here and what’s now.

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What’s there, in that photo?  Those leaves — which are not there on trees any more — are going to help me and others be mindful of  what is there, throughout the day.

There are lots of things I saw yesterday which are not there on my iPhone. Here are the photos that are there, here and now:

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What music do you expect to be there, now, in this post?  While “Stairway to Heaven” and “Born to be Wild” could easily be there, I’m choosing this song, instead.

Just in time for Halloween, the Zombies are there,  with “She’s Not There.”

Thanks for being there!

Categories: blogging, personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: , , , | 50 Comments

Day 917: How we touch the ground

I spent some time yesterday test-driving cars and exchanging a pair of new shoes for ones that fit me MUCH BETTER.

This morning, I woke up thinking this:

When we move around, we touch the ground through (1) our feet or (2) wheels.

Are there are other ways we touch the ground? Feel free to touch down below this post, with a grounding comment.

Whenever I touch upon a blog post topic, that seems to touch and transform  all the photos I’ve taken recently, with new meaning.

How did I touch the ground yesterday?


                                                                                        
Which photos touched you, down to the ground?

Here’s some touching music to ground this post:

Katrina and the Waves are “Walking on Sunshine” there, on the Tonight Show.

One more thought I care to touch on, before I touch the “publish” button.

No matter how many ways we touch the ground, there are so many ways we touch each other.

Thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and to you — of course! — for touching ground here, today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , | 46 Comments

Day 514: What I’m reading, these days

What I’m reading these days includes:

  • signs (in different locations)

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  • lots of blog posts (not pictured)
  • people’s behavior

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  • animal behavior

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  • things in Chinese restaurants

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  • words written on my board, at work

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  • things I see on the street

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  • labels in supermarkets

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  • haikus

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  • non-fiction and novels

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That’s Chris Delyani, who was one of my students at Boston University, some decades back. I am very proud of him, and I highly recommend his novel. It’s the main thing I’m reading, these days.

Thanks to Maya Angelou, Jenny Potter (who wrote the haiku), Chris, people who read as best they can, and to you — of course! — for doing guess-what, here, today.

Categories: inspiration, Nostalgia, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , | 29 Comments

Day 249: If you are having trouble focusing

First, take a breath.

Better?

Next, have a drink of water.

Okay!

Next, as Dennis Farina puts it (somewhat crudely), in “Midnight Run” ….

… take in some nourishment.

Finally, remember this.

Everything you need is there for you, where you are, in the moment.

Thanks for being here, today.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Day 234: Curiosity, in the moment

At the beginnings of the therapy group sessions I do, I often state what I’m curious about — as a way to invite people to “check-in.”

This is something I often say:

Right now, I’m curious about what’s going on for you in the moment. I’m also curious about anything that might be contributing to how you are feeling and thinking, in the moment.

This morning, after I got up, I “checked-in” with myself that way. That is, I asked myself how I was doing in the moment and what might be contributing to that.

This is what I discovered:

I continue to feel some “uneasiness” when I wake up in the morning. (I wrote about that, early this year.)

It helps to sit in a quiet place and focus, as much a possible, on the present moment — letting all thoughts, feelings, etc. flow through me.

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Yes!  I gave myself “the chair” this morning, sitting mindfully for a short time.

This is what came up for me, when I asked myself what was contributing to how I was feeling in the moment:

  1. Yesterday, for the first time, I met with a lawyer to talk about my will (and other necessary plans regarding my inevitable death).
  2. Geesh, people!  Isn’t that enough?

Of course, there were all sorts of other things contributing to how I was doing in the moment.  Even if I can’t identify all those things (and who can?), it helps to be as aware, in the moment, as much as possible.

Right now, I’m aware that I’d like to end with a photo.

But which one?

How about the last photo I’ve taken, with my trusty-enough iPhone?

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Here are the points I want to make about this photo:

  1. It was taken at Strip-T’s last night, a great — if interestingly named — restaurant in Watertown, MA.
  2. I haven’t been to Strip-T’s since before April (when the outside of the restaurant was another backdrop on CNN news reports, in the aftermath of the Boston Marathon bombings).
  3. I wanted to take a photo of these three things at the restaurant, because I loved them all.
  4. To me, the pig on the right looks like it’s saying something to the pig on the left.

Of course, I’m curious about what that might be.

Thanks to Strip-T’s, ceramic pigs, curious creatures everywhere, and to you, for reading today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Day 230: Random thoughts (on a non-random Sunday)

Fact.  I am returning to work tomorrow, after taking a two-week vacation which included a trip to London and Edinburgh with my son.

Past-focused thinking.  When I’ve returned to work after time off, I’ve previously experienced:

  1. A helpful sense of perspective.
  2. Feeling overwhelmed as I’ve tried to catch up with things I’ve missed.
  3. All sorts of assumptions about people’s reactions to my being gone and my being back.

Future-focused thinking. I hope that #1, above, will be with me when I return to work tomorrow, and that it will linger, a welcomed guest.*  I fear that #2 and #3 might be with me, in unhelpful ways.**

Wishful thinking. I’m looking forward to returning to work for many reasons, including seeing this in my office.

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Yes, that’s a magic wand, for making wishes (when wishes might be helpful).

Here are my three wishes, for today:

  1.  I wish that I can be in the moment, as best I can.
  2. I wish that I can accept where I am.
  3. I wish that everything that people have ever said about how if one shares a wish it won’t come true is …. rubbish.***

Okay!  Time for a wishing sound (and feel free to join in with your own wishes for today):

Thanks to Jojikiba (for the YouTube sound effect), to The Princess Spinning Light Up Wand, to wishers everywhere, and to you, for reading today.


*  See the Rumi poem “Guest House”, which is at the end of this post.

** Come to think of it, look at that Rumi poem again.

*** I thought of many possible words for what I wanted to express here, and settled on one I enjoyed hearing during our recent time in the UK.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Day 217: Strangers

Throughout my life, various people — who have wanted me to be safe — have said this:

Don’t talk to strangers.

Sometimes,  I’m not sure what to do with that advice.  It speaks to this very difficult question:

Who do I trust?

(which I wrote about, here,  in “Day 89: Is somebody trying to sell me something?”)

Yes, “Who do I Trust?”  is a very difficult question, with evolving, best-guess, and survival-oriented answers.

Who do you trust?  And when is it safe enough to connect with somebody?

When I offer people the opportunity to participate in group therapy,  a lot of people say “no,” stating completely reasonable reasons like this:

I don’t want to tell a bunch of strangers my problems.

Makes sense, doesn’t it? And I respect and honor that natural impulse, to protect oneself from strangers.

I, myself, have a fear of strangers. And of the unknown, in general.

And yet, this is something I see all the time: People taking a leap of trust, coming together with strangers, and helping each other heal.

It’s amazing how quickly people can negotiate their fears, making choices that feel safe enough, and connect to other people.

However, no matter how many times that happens,  that self-preservation — that healthy caution about strangers — remains.

Often, at the end of a group therapy session of no-longer-strangers, people will state their wish that the others in the group will be there the next time.  I hear a concern that, the next time, strangers will be there.

And sometimes I say this, “Well, none of you knew each other at the beginning of this meeting, either.”

And people will say, “That’s true.”

And I see a mixture of comfort and caution on their faces.

Which makes sense, doesn’t it?

Before I end this post, I wanted to show an event I attended where I encountered some strangers:

Last weekend, I visited the  Chairful Where You Sit charity event, in Arlington, MA.  Here’s a description of Chairful Where You Sit:

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After talking to the person was running the event at that location that day, I decided to purchase a chair.

This was a charitable act and also a selfish one. Let me explain:  I have been wanting to expand my very helpful practice of mindfulness by meditating every day.  Meditation is new (and therefore strange) to me, and to overcome my resistance to that, I knew it would help to designate a Place To Meditate.

And this is what I got at Chairful Where You Sit:

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Thanks to Lynn Rosenbaum,  to mindful friends and strangers, and to you, for sitting and reading today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Day 146: To boldly go where no Ann has gone before

My son, my bf, and I saw the new movie “Star Trek Into Darkness” last night. (I originally thought there MUST be a punctuation mark in that title — perhaps a “:” or a “,” or even a “.” But no. Nada.)

My son had one major question after the movie: “Why was it called ‘Into Darkness?'”

I said, “Maybe because of the way the movie was lit?”  Now that might sound like I was being all snark-y and Film School-y (and I did go to Film School, when I was in my 30’s), but I thought the movie was fine.

Regular readers of my blog may know that I love Star Trek, The Original Series (or TOS,  an acronym which is NOT immediately obvious to me, whenever it pops up). Even if readers don’t know of my feelings about TOS (The Original Series, for those of you who couldn’t hold on to that non-intuitive acronym even for a moment, like me), they may remember that I have written several posts referencing that TV show (here, here, and here).

I’ve used Star Trek (I’m dumping the whole TOS acronym for the rest of this post, people) in this blog, mostly to illustrate an experience I’ve been having, during this Year of Living Non-Judgmentally:

Accelerated Learning,

as illustrated by this Star Trek “villain” (played by Gary Lockwood):

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who became too smart and powerful, too fast, (with too shiny eyeballs), for his own good.

I just re-read that first post about Accelerated Learning, and you know what?  There’s a lot of Good Stuff in that post, to the extent that I thought, “I wonder if I have anything else to teach them?” (or more to the point, anything else to blog about, for the rest of the year.)

(I’m actually not worried about that, in the moment, although I AM feeling a wee bit … conceited, right now, having essentially “bragged” about how helpful I think that post might be, as well as having put myself in the role of “teacher.”)  (Okay, I’m letting go of any guilt about THAT, right now.)

Better.

Another thing I’ve been experiencing, this year, is a LOT of Synchronicity.

Here’s a definition of synchronicity:

syn·chro·nic·i·ty  (sngkr-ns-t, sn-)
n. pl. syn·chro·nic·i·ties
1. the quality or fact of being synchronous.
2. the coincidental occurrence of events and especially psychic events (as similar thoughts in widely separated persons or a mental image of an unexpected event before it happens) that seem related but are not explained by conventional mechanisms of causality —used especially in the psychology of C. G. Jung.

Note the reference to Carl Jung, who is one of my Therapy Heroes.  (Another Therapy Hero was the gentle and wonderful Michael White, from Narrative Therapy.)

(Note also that the first definition, above, is essentially useless, as it refers to another form of the same word.)

Something else to note: another word for the concept of synchronicity is “coincidence.”

Here’s something I’ve noticed. I get really excited about coincidences, and not everybody does. 

Sometimes I think: there are two kinds of people in this world. People who get excited about coincidences and people who don’t.

Sometime I think:  there are two kinds of people in this world. People who think there are two kinds of people in this world and people who don’t.

So where was I, before all those digressions in parentheses AND italics?

Oh, yes.  Star Trek.  And Synchronicity.

So, right around the time that I was blogging so much about the shiny-eyeballed, scarily-smart Gary Lockwood character from Star Trek, rumors were swirling around the internet about the new Star Trek Movie, to be released in May.

And one of the rumors I read was this:

The villain in the new Star Trek Movie will be some version of the Gary Lockwood character in The Original Series.

I thought, “Wow!  How cool is that?  I’ll have to tell my dear readers about THAT little piece of synchronicity!”  Then, that turned out to be an old, outdated rumor.  Oh, well.

But, here was a “true rumor”:  the villain was going to be played by THIS guy:

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Benedict Cumberbatch.  Who is known, these days, for playing somebody else: another hero, who is important to me.

Sherlock Holmes.

I remember, when I was about 13 years old, spending one whole summer reading this book:

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I spent an entire summer reading this book, not because I was a slow reader (I wasn’t), but because there was SO MUCH information in this book.  Yes, people, there’s a reason why the word “ANNOTATED” is the biggest word in that title.  OMG.

But I loved reading  every word, every minute detail, as I made my way through these wonderful stories, starring the World’s Greatest Detective.

Why is Sherlock Holmes one of my heroes?

  • He is really smart.
  • He pays attention, all the time.
  • He doesn’t care what other people think about him.
  • He takes in all the details of all his senses, to solve problems.

It’s occurring to me, for the first time, that Sherlock Holmes is somebody who is REALLY mindful, in each moment.

Now I understand, in a new way, why he’s one of my heroes.

Thanks for reading, everybody!  (And I’m wondering about YOUR thoughts — regarding heroes, villains, synchronicity, Star Trek,  punctuation, or anything else you got out of this post.)

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Day 122: Progress Report

Here’s a list of some areas where I’ve been making some real progress:

1. Setting priorities.

I’ve been including taking care of myself as an important consideration, when I’m deciding on my next choice, next step,  or next decision (especially when I’m overwhelmed).

Also, I am letting go of some anxiety and fear of consequences when I’m making choices (for example, “If I make this decision, what if it’s the WRONG one?).  That  helps me think more clearly and make more balanced decisions.

2. Being present in the moment.

Letting go of anxiety regarding fear of consequences (see directly above) is helping with that, too. What’s also helping?  The fact that it is so friggin’ beautiful outside right now …

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… as Spring has sprung in  Boston.

3. Realizing I have “all the time I need.”  

This really helps me, when I’m overwhelmed. I’ve been having some trouble sleeping lately, so it  is especially helping  me to take my time, be careful, and think. I notice that when I take my time, I get as much done as when I’m rushing (and I make fewer mistakes).

4. Sleeping.

Yes, I see progress there, too. For example, I’ve been falling asleep more easily.  My sleep challenge, lately, has been waking up in the middle of the night, and having trouble getting back to sleep. Last night, though, I did some things differently.  When I woke up (probably around 4 AM), I:

  1. did NOT look at the clock,
  2. noticed my thoughts about what I might blog about today,  but let them go, and
  3. noticed my fears about possible disconnects with people, but let them go, and
  4.  noticed my guilt about things I haven’t gotten done, but let them go.

5. Writing.

Doing this daily blog has helped improve my writing.  Also, it’s helped me tell my story in a “better” (more healing, more clearly, more nuanced, more balanced) way.

6. Self-consciousness.

I’m not as concerned, lately, about what other people think, especially when I’m doing “weird” things, like walking down the street, listening to music and singing. What does “weird” mean to me?  Well, I don’t see too many other people walking and singing out loud.  However — here’s a thought — when I do see other people doing that — I like it!

What’s help me reduce self-consciousness?  Thoughts like that one I just had, above, plus:

  1. Letting go of mind-reading (I don’t know what other people are really thinking)
  2. Realizing that I am neither as important nor as unimportant as I fear (most people aren’t noticing)
  3. Realizing if my worst fear is true (that other people think I’m weird) … SO WHAT?

6. Mistakes.

When I realize that I’ve made a mistake, especially one  that might

  1.  cause a disconnect with somebody else or
  2.  “get me into trouble” (especially at work) ….

… I STILL get a sinking feeling and panic a little. But that panic has been passing more quickly.

Also, I’ve been able to say helpful things to myself quickly, such as

  1. “it’s probably not as bad as you fear,”
  2. “you can probably repair this”, or
  3.  (once a week or so) “SO WHAT?”

Okay, that’s the end of my progress report, for today.

In the therapy groups I do — if it’s appropriate, comfortable, and the group wants to do it — we applaud when somebody reports progress (or doing something new).

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Are there areas for improvement?  Oh my goodness, yes.  And, originally, when I first start writing this post, I wanted to highlight those.  However, since that list would include

  1. giving myself more credit for what I am doing (rather than focusing on what I’m NOT doing) and
  2. feeling good about my accomplishments (without thinking I’m being too self-absorbed or conceited),

I’m going to bring this post to an end.

If  you want to read more about cognitive distortions, like mind-reading, check this out.

If you want more information about ways to challenge these distortions (including the “So what?” method), see here.

And, as always, thanks for reading, everybody.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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