Another one of my priorities for these daily blog posts is sharing my photos from the day before:
Obviously, my priorities today didn’t include repositioning any of those photos. However, my priorities always include thanking all who help me create these posts and — of course! — YOU!
When I was in my early 20’s, somebody did something that can still paralyze me with disbelief. When I told her where I went to school, she argued with my memories of the experience, telling me that women and men went to separate classes and lived in separate dorms. I kept trying to explain to her that her misconceptions were based on old information, but she persisted in insisting that her opinions were correct. Finally, I said to her, “Where did you get this information? Did somebody tell you this?” She nodded her head.
I paused, looked her in the eye, and said:
Well ……. (eye contact) THEY WERE WRONG.
And that stopped her.
Yesterday, I spoke with my boyfriend on the phone, who informed me that because of a “historic storm” off the coast of New England, he had watched flood waters come up our street and surround our home near the ocean. While the flood waters had receded, leaving behind a few inches of water in the basement, he was particularly concerned that, as everybody was forecasting, the upcoming high tide around midnight would be even worse. My strong and reassuring boyfriend was panicked, believing that he and the cats would need to be removed from our home. We agreed that I would call him after I attended a dance party at my group therapy convention in Houston — a city that is still traumatized by recent catastrophic flooding.
I called Michael shortly after 11 PM Houston time. ringing his cell phone because the landline had been knocked out. He answered the phone.
Me: How are things, honey?
Michael: I’m in the basement. I’m afraid to look. I’m waiting for the flood waters to rush in here.
Me: Why don’t you go upstairs and see what’s happening?
(the sounds of Michael going upstairs so he can see what’s going on with the sea).
Michael: Wow.
Me: What’s going on?
Michael: There’s no flooding. Maybe it’s not high tide yet.
Me: Do you want me to check the time of the high tide?
Michael: Please. There’s no internet.
Me: High tide is at 12:09 AM.
Michael: Oh my god. It’s 12:20 here.
So, this is what I would say about all the meteorologists and news reports that the second high tide was going to be more destructive than the first one.
Well …. THEY WERE WRONG.
Has anybody told you that climate change does not exist?
Well …. THEY WERE WRONG.
Did anybody, when you were a kid, tell you there was something wrong with you?
Well …. THEY WERE WRONG.
Has anybody ever denied your own experience?
Well… THEY WERE WRONG.
Did anybody ever tell you that you didn’t have what it takes to pursue your passion and your dreams?
Well… THEY WERE WRONG.
Did anybody ever tell you that you had to squelch your feelings and live inauthentically?
Well… THEY WERE WRONG.
Has anybody ever treated you with disrespect?
Well … THEY WERE WRONG.
When I was in my teens, dealing with a heart condition, doctors told me I would never be able to have kids.
Well… THEY WERE WRONG.
Could we say, “Well … THEY WERE WRONG” about any of my photos from yesterday?
Somebody told me I wouldn’t be able to stay to the end of today’s 2 PM workshop about Group Therapy and Improv because I’d need to leave early to make it to the airport in time for my flight home to Boston.
Well …. THEY WERE WRONG.
Was anybody wrong to shoot this video? Am I wrong to post it?
Here‘s The Innovation Dance Company performing “THEY WERE WRONG” at a national dance competition in Las Vegas.
Has anybody ever told you that you shouldn’t comment on a blog because other people might attack you for your opinions? Well …
Thanks to all who helped me create this “Well … THEY WERE WRONG” post and — of course! — to you, for not being wrong.
Second guessing is when we doubt a decision we’ve made, assuming we should have chosen differently.
I’m going to second guess my personal definition and see what the internet says about “second guessing.”
sec·ond-guess
verb
gerund or present participle: second-guessing
1. anticipate or predict (someone’s actions or thoughts) by guesswork.
“he had to second-guess what the environmental regulations would be in five years’ time”
2. NORTH AMERICAN
judge or criticize (someone) with hindsight.
“the prime minister was willing to second-guess senior ministers in public”
I never would have guessed that my definition would show up second there. My second surprise about that online definition is that only North Americans second guess the way I do. I’m also second guessing my assumptions about second guessing because I didn’t know you could second guess what somebody else does or says. Every time I second guess, I second guess myself.
Let’s stay with my definition of second guessing for the remaining seconds of today’s post. Second guessing, I’m guessing, is not helpful. When you judge or criticize yourself with hindsight, you are ignoring that you did your best at the time when you made your original decision. Here’s a second way of saying that: Hindsight is 20-20. Hindsight and second guessing have perfect vision because you can include the results of your decision in your analysis of its effectiveness. When you were deciding originally, you didn’t know the outcome of your decision. In order to make perfect first guesses, we’d all need to be psychic.
Does anybody want to guess why I’m writing about second guessing today?
I’m now second guessing asking that question because how could you possibly guess the answer? You’d have to be psychic. I’m third guessing asking that question because I don’t think my answer will be particularly illuminating or useful.
I guess I just want people to know that I think second guessing gets in the way of looking at the pros and cons of our first guessing and then moving on to a more effective next guess.
I’ve stopped second guessing the photos I take. Let’s take a second to look at the first, second, and third picture I snapped yesterday.
Who am I to second guess the quality of my decisions when I’m doing the best I can? And who put that laundry detergent so far out of my reach? I’m guessing it was Michael.
I guess I’ll find out what’s going on with Irma, the second incredibly destructive storm on course to strike North America this hurricane season. I don’t understand people who second guess what professional scientists say about climate change.
I’m not going to second guess my decision to end these posts with thanks to all who help me create them and — second but not least — to YOU.
