Yesterday, while I was coming home to Boston from Washington DC, I started reading the amazing book Homecoming by Dr. Thema Bryant.
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In this page from Homecoming, Dr. Bryant uses the term “coping and healing” …
… which made me feel even better about coming home to continue offering my Coping and Healing groups at work.
On Friday, when I was attending a panel discussion titled I am a Nomad: Identity and Difference in Group Life at the American Group Psychotherapy Association conference, I stood up and said, “I’ve been at this conference since Monday, and this is the first time I’ve felt I was home. Thank you.” Somebody in the audience turned around and said to me, “That was wonderful,” which helped with my homecoming there.
Can you see homecoming in my other images for today?
As you open today’s daily blog, what are you open to? Are you open to new information? Challenges to your assumptions? Dissenting and different opinions? Difficult experiences? Transforming old and unhelpful patterns of thoughts and behaviors? Balancing your needs with other people’s needs? Self care and care for others? Whimsy? Wonder? Curiosity? Trying new things?
Yesterday, I was open to meeting wonderful WordPress blogger Debra in Los Angeles during an opening in my group therapy conference schedule. We were both open to hugging each other, even though we had never met outside the blogosphere before. Debra brought me a present which I was happy to open and we were both open to accepting help from a stranger to take a photo. We talked about the importance of remaining open to multitudes of opportunity for change and growth throughout our lives. I opened up with Debra and told her that I look for the word “open” when I’m open to capturing images with my camera.
After I met Debra, I was open to attending the Friday night dance of dozens of group therapists at the conference I’m attending. I expected to be too exhausted to stay long, but I love to dance, so I was open to getting on the dance floor when invited. I was open to the surprising realization that I was able to keep up with the other dancing group therapists for over an hour, despite health challenges and my age.
Are you open to seeing all my photos from yesterday?
That’s Erica, an incoming President from another local affiliate of the American Group Psychotherapy Association, who was open to posing with me and a flamingo last night at the dance. Erica is open to receiving my daily blog in her email but I don’t know how often she opens it. Erica seemed open to the idea that we both use the image above for our official presidential photos.
What YouTube music video would you like to open this morning? I am open to learning that Van Morrison and Pete Townsend wrote and sing different songs about how love can open the door to your heart (here and here).
I am open to reading any comment you make, below.
I may not open these posts with gratitude but I always close with thanks to those who help me create this blog and the sweet wonderful people who read it (including Debra, Erica, and YOU)!
I’m trying to tell you that I couldn’t sleep two nights ago, in anticipation of the second day of a two-day experience group, where therapists learn from each other by doing group work together.
I’m trying to tell you that the night my mother died, over ten years ago, she told a home health aide she wanted to call me on the phone to tell me something.
I’m trying to tell you that the home health aide told my mother she wouldn’t call me, because it was in the middle of the night and she shouldn’t disturb me. (I tried to tell that story in a blog post several years ago, here.)
I’m trying to tell you that event has disturbed and haunted me ever since — my mother being told she couldn’t tell me what she was trying to tell me right before she died.
I’m trying to tell you that I have tried to put to rest that mystery and my feelings about it in many different ways, including letting online tarot card readings tell me what my mother was trying to tell me.
I’m trying to tell you that during my recent sleepless night here in Los Angeles, I finally let the tarot cards tell me what I wanted to know, by asking a very specific Yes/No question for the first time.
I’m trying to tell you that this telling image is the only new photo I have to share with you today:
I’m trying to tell you that
it’s telling what questions we ask of the universe,
we need to tell our personal stories, and
closure helps us tell new stories, as we move on.
I’m trying to tell you that the video I told you about in this recent post is finally available for sharing.
By writing new words to the song Feelings, I’m trying to tell people about the local affiliates of the national group therapy organization, AGPA.
Now it’s your turn to try to tell us something in the comments section, below.
I try to tell you how grateful I am at the end of each post, like now.
One thing I consistently relearn in this world (especially when I attend a group psychotherapy conference) is why people respond to you the way they do.
Last week in Houston, I found that people responded to me the way they did because of
assumptions,
memories,
feelings, and
the unconscious.
Here are two examples of people responding to me the way they did:
Example #1.
In a very large group, a woman sitting near me responded to everything I said with hostility, aggression, and opposition. After the group session, I approached her and asked her if I had offended her in some way. She said, “Oh no! I’ve never done one of these large groups before. I just thought that was what you were supposed to do — argue with the person who had just spoken.”
Example #2.
In a different, much smaller group, I was the first to speak up. A man sitting across from me seemed to respond to everything I said with some mild hostility. After about an hour, I let him know, in the group, that I was experiencing some hostility from him and I wondered what that was about. At first he said he wasn’t aware of being hostile towards me. When another group member joined me by telling him she also saw the hostility towards me, he thought about it. Then he said, “I guess there is some hostility there. I saw you yesterday in another group where you spoke up first. When you spoke up first here, I thought, ‘Oh, there’s Ann, doing THAT again.’ I said, “Oh! Now I understand. Thank you!”
I respond to the world the way I do, sometimes through pictures.
When I was in my early 20’s, somebody did something that can still paralyze me with disbelief. When I told her where I went to school, she argued with my memories of the experience, telling me that women and men went to separate classes and lived in separate dorms. I kept trying to explain to her that her misconceptions were based on old information, but she persisted in insisting that her opinions were correct. Finally, I said to her, “Where did you get this information? Did somebody tell you this?” She nodded her head.
I paused, looked her in the eye, and said:
Well ……. (eye contact) THEY WERE WRONG.
And that stopped her.
Yesterday, I spoke with my boyfriend on the phone, who informed me that because of a “historic storm” off the coast of New England, he had watched flood waters come up our street and surround our home near the ocean. While the flood waters had receded, leaving behind a few inches of water in the basement, he was particularly concerned that, as everybody was forecasting, the upcoming high tide around midnight would be even worse. My strong and reassuring boyfriend was panicked, believing that he and the cats would need to be removed from our home. We agreed that I would call him after I attended a dance party at my group therapy convention in Houston — a city that is still traumatized by recent catastrophic flooding.
I called Michael shortly after 11 PM Houston time. ringing his cell phone because the landline had been knocked out. He answered the phone.
Me: How are things, honey?
Michael: I’m in the basement. I’m afraid to look. I’m waiting for the flood waters to rush in here.
Me: Why don’t you go upstairs and see what’s happening?
(the sounds of Michael going upstairs so he can see what’s going on with the sea).
Michael: Wow.
Me: What’s going on?
Michael: There’s no flooding. Maybe it’s not high tide yet.
Me: Do you want me to check the time of the high tide?
Michael: Please. There’s no internet.
Me: High tide is at 12:09 AM.
Michael: Oh my god. It’s 12:20 here.
So, this is what I would say about all the meteorologists and news reports that the second high tide was going to be more destructive than the first one.
Well …. THEY WERE WRONG.
Has anybody told you that climate change does not exist?
Well …. THEY WERE WRONG.
Did anybody, when you were a kid, tell you there was something wrong with you?
Well …. THEY WERE WRONG.
Has anybody ever denied your own experience?
Well… THEY WERE WRONG.
Did anybody ever tell you that you didn’t have what it takes to pursue your passion and your dreams?
Well… THEY WERE WRONG.
Did anybody ever tell you that you had to squelch your feelings and live inauthentically?
Well… THEY WERE WRONG.
Has anybody ever treated you with disrespect?
Well … THEY WERE WRONG.
When I was in my teens, dealing with a heart condition, doctors told me I would never be able to have kids.
Well… THEY WERE WRONG.
Could we say, “Well … THEY WERE WRONG” about any of my photos from yesterday?
Somebody told me I wouldn’t be able to stay to the end of today’s 2 PM workshop about Group Therapy and Improv because I’d need to leave early to make it to the airport in time for my flight home to Boston.
Well …. THEY WERE WRONG.
Was anybody wrong to shoot this video? Am I wrong to post it?
Here‘s The Innovation Dance Company performing “THEY WERE WRONG” at a national dance competition in Las Vegas.
Has anybody ever told you that you shouldn’t comment on a blog because other people might attack you for your opinions? Well …
Thanks to all who helped me create this “Well … THEY WERE WRONG” post and — of course! — to you, for not being wrong.
Today I’m giving a presentation about my therapy groups at a national group therapy conference. Even though I’m telling myself to “just relax,” I’m having a lot of trouble sleeping because of rotator cuff pain and pre-presentation jitters.
This photo I took yesterday might help:
Also, I’ve decided to help my audience just relax today by starting out my presentation with the mindfulness exercise I always do when somebody is new to my groups. I tell people to focus on their breath, breathing in something they think might be helpful (like gratitude) and breathing out something that is not serving them well (like anxiety or distraction). When I thought of starting my presentation that way, I just relaxed.
Do any of my other recent photos help you to just relax?
Because I affiliate myself with a blog that often defines terms, here are some definitions of “affiliate”:
af·fil·i·ate
verb
əˈfilēˌāt
1. officially attach or connect (a subsidiary group or a person) to an organization.
“the college is affiliated with the University of Wisconsin”
synonyms: associate with, unite with, combine with, join (up) with, link up with, team up with, ally with, align with, band together with, federate with, amalgamate with, merge with; More
noun
əˈfilēət
1. a person or organization officially attached to a larger body.
“the company established links with British affiliates”
synonyms: partner, branch, offshoot, subsidiary
affiliated; affiliating
transitive verb
1 a : to bring or receive into close connection as a member or branch. “The medical school is affiliated with a hospital.”
b : to associate as a member. ” She affiliates herself with the local club.”
2 : to trace the origin of. “They affiliated Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” to earlier plays.”
intransitive verb
: to connect or associate oneself : combine. “She refused to affiliate with any political party.”
I am officially attached and connected to a national organization of group psychotherapists which has multiple local affiliates. Therefore, today I am associating, uniting, combining, joining, up, linking up, teaming up, allying, aligning, banding together, federating, amalgamating, and merging with representatives of other local affiliates for many hours in Houston, Texas, a state affiliated with the United States of America.
Are any of today’s blog-affiliated photos good representations of “affiliate”?
There are many children’s book characters affiliated with Massachusetts.
That skating rink is affiliated with the Galleria Mall in Houston — an unexpected affiliation to me.
Since you are affiliating yourself with this blog today, how might you use “affiliate” in a sentence?
Thanks to all who helped me create this post now affiliated with The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally and — of course! — thanks to YOU, no matter how you affiliate yourself.
