Posts Tagged With: blogging

Day 191: Compliments

Posted on July 10, 2013 by Ann Koplow

Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, this is the question on my mind:

What should I blog about today?

Mind you, this is a different use of the word “should” than the self-bullying, cognitive-distortion-y  SHOULD.  (See here for one post on that unhelpful kind of “should”, and see here for a complete list of those pesky cognitive distortions.)

Actually, here’s a more accurate — and more civil-sounding — translation of that Thought Upon Arising:

What might I blog about today?

After I ask myself that question, my thoughts roam about, to and fro, here and there, into the future and into the past, inside the room and outside into the universe — as our human thoughts do (unless we are practicing being more in the moment).

And eventually, my mind comes to rest on a topic, like a butterfly choosing one flower in the midst of a meadow.

Image

I want to mention a few things at this point:

  1. I had a lot more luck finding a pictorial representation for today’s butterfly simile than I did for yesterday’s, which involved lobster sauce,
  2. I apologize to my friend, Megan, who is a little phobic about butterflies, and
  3. The butterfly is, again, a great metaphor for the Mind of Ann, which likes to flit around (as, for example, within this list).

So, without further ado, the flower/topic du jour, for Day 191 in the Year of Living Non-Judgmentally, is ….

Compliments! (Not a big surprise, I guess, if you still remembered the title.)

Some reasons why my mind lit upon this particular topic, this morning:

  1. In a therapy group I did at work yesterday, that was the topic the group eventually chose to work on.
  2. My experience — within myself and observing others — is this: people have complicated reactions to compliments and compliments are sometimes difficult to accept.
  3. Many new, lovely readers discovered my blog yesterday and wrote complimentary comments.
  4. I am approaching my second-year anniversary at work , which means it’s time for my annual review, and last year’s review was quite complimentary, which had a big effect on me.

What else would I like to write about this topic, before I end this post for the day?

Here are some things that stand out for me, right now, about compliments (including some things people said yesterday, in the group):

Fears about compliments include the following:

People are just being nice.

If people really knew me, they would change their mind.

Compliments can feel like pressure, as if there are now expectations for my behavior, which I’m not sure I can always satisfy.

If I believe and accept these compliments, I will become conceited and act inappropriately.

Other thoughts about compliments I’ve heard (from myself and others) include:

I LOVE them!!!

I don’t know what to say, and I often discount, dismiss, or deflect them.

I wish I got more of them, from the people who really matter.

It’s weird to get them now, when I didn’t hear them at all when I was growing up.

In conclusion, I’m going to quote something somebody said at group yesterday:

Compliments make me anxious, but that’s not a bad thing.

One more thing!  If you don’t know what to say in response to a compliment, here’s a no-fail, two-word solution:

Thank you.*

__________________

* for reading today, etc.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Day 190: What I’m avoiding

Posted on July 9, 2013 by Ann Koplow

I may want to avoid writing this post.

But I’m going to “just do it.”

Here are some random thoughts about avoidance, to get me started:

If I’m avoiding something,  there is some fear involved.

It might be fear about an outcome.

It might be fear about hurting somebody else.

Or fear about being hurt, myself.

I might be sullen or angry about something — “I don’t want to do this!”

Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m avoiding.

Avoidance feels a certain way, though.

It feels like this:

My mouth is flat, or turned down.

My brow is furrowed.

My eyes don’t focus.

My thoughts flit around, unwilling to light on anything, like a butterfly trapped in a room filled with lobster sauce.*

(That was, I believe, the first occurrence in this blog of A Deliberate Simile. The first simile after a full six months! And the simile itself was not random; it was well-researched. See here.)

What else do I feel when I’m avoiding?

I feel a pit in my belly.

I think it’s fear, all right.

So I guess I need to ask myself the question, What Am I Afraid Of?

Hmmmmm.

That question isn’t working so well, this morning. (Although sometimes a question like that is really helpful: see here.)

Here’s how I know that’s not the best question, right now. The answer to “What am I afraid of?” is a general one:

Lots of things.

So I’ll try a different question.

What am I avoiding?

Aha!  Better question.

I’m avoiding saying goodbye to a co-worker.

I’m avoiding talking to my son about how scared I am, regarding his recent and sudden illness. (He’s okay, by the way.)

Bingo!

Sometimes I think I should re-name this blog “The Year of Naming Things, So I Can Then Figure Out What To Do.”

I’m not sure, at this point, what I’m going to do about either of these things.

But I’ll quote something I heard yesterday, at work:

It helps to know I have options and choices.  It’s funny how I often forget that.

And, for me, the first step of figuring out my options is this:

To figure out where I am.

Thanks for joining me today, as I figure things out.

______________________________________

* No good pictures of this (“butterfly lobster sauce”) on Google Images.  Oh, well.

Categories: personal growth, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Day 187: On awards, chain-letters, and doing the next right thing

Posted on July 6, 2013 by Ann Koplow

Two people nominated me for an award, yesterday, here on  WordPress.  It was the same award, too.

Image

This was especially amazing  timing, since I recently wrote about getting applause and recognition (see here for a post about that and, as usual, other things, too).

Many thanks to (1) Christian and his blog Five Quick Minutes and (2) Hue and her blog Thehuepoint for nominating me.

I follow both of their blogs and have already learned valuable things from reading them. So the nominations are even more meaningful to me.

However, I am not sure, right now, about the Next Right Thing To Do.

The Next Right Thing (which I first blogged about many moons ago, here) (and again, here) is our best attempt to make a good choice, based on our values and our understanding of the situation.

It’s very different from The Right Thing To Do, at least in my mind.

When I get caught up in The Right Thing To Do (which implies that everything else is The WRONG thing to do), I get anxious, and go into All-Or-Nothing Thinking and other cognitive distortions.  In other words, I focus on my mistakes (which are inevitable, because I’m human), imagine worst-case-scenarios, and think about all the ways I might hurt or bother somebody else.

For example, here are my anxious thoughts about The Right Thing To Do, regarding getting the award here:

Eeeek! What’s the right thing to do?  I’ve noticed that some people here don’t accept awards. I like geting the recognition, but I personally feel uncomfortable about the chain-letter-aspect of these awards — that I’m supposed to pass them on to other people.  I don’t like chain letters! However, I’m really grateful that people I respect and whose blogs I’ve read and enjoyed have nominated me.  WHAT TO DO?  I see lots of chances of hurting other people’s feelings and/or bothering them!  Eeeeek!

(pant, pant, pant)

Yikes. These kind of worry thoughts can be quite exhausting.

When I think about The Next Right Thing To Do, that feels like a kinder, gentler way.

The Next Right Thing To Do is just one next step.  If the step doesn’t have results I like, I can take another next step.

When I think about the Next Right Thing To Do, I realize that I’m doing the best that I can, and that is good enough for now.

I realize that I will do my best to be true to my values and also consider the feelings of others.

I realize that balancing my needs and values with my concerns about others can be tricky, complicated, and confusing, but that’s life. And I’m not alone in dealing with those things!

So here’s a To Do List of some Next Right Things To Do, for me, in response to getting those awards:

  1. Express authentic gratitude for getting the awards from bloggers I appreciate. (check!)
  2. Name some thoughts and feelings about the experience. (check!)
  3. Lose the chain-letter aspect of the award, which I feel some personal discomfort about, and just list a dozen other blogs I read and have truly appreciated here. (And I’m going to let the bloggers speak for themselves.)

Toemail.  “Pictures of toes, pictures of feet, making the world a better place, one foot at a time.  We are Quillan and Angela and we created this blog in 2010 after deciding it might be fun to do a mail-in photo blog based on the name toemail, after one of us made a typographical error which resulted in that word. We look forward to hearing from you!”

White Trinity. “Being a first-time mom was probably the root cause behind creation of my blog, White Trinity.  Having my baby boy, has led me to realize that I have a lot to learn on this parenthood journey and that I have much to cherish and be thankful for in my life experiences. “

Wholeheartedness. “Thoughts on courage, compassion and connection…”

stuff i tell my sister.  “Who do you call or text with everyday “stuff” that occurs? Your sister, your mom, your best friend? That’s what this blog is about, “stuff I tell my sister”… Great books, photos, music, new ideas, product reviews, exercise and health info, rants & raves and random life thoughts. (from an Oklahoma gal to you♥”

Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge. “Simple observations, analysis, and common sense comments.  Having spent an adventurous life with business, traveling, research, and reading wide, Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge, has returned to a sunny spot that is more than adequate for entertaining, and reflecting – and, as an added plus, only a short walk to the marina and sweeping sunsets. Phil is known for astute observations, insightful analysis, and common sense comments of city, field, and that odd species: humans.”

Stephen Liddell. “Feet on the ground, head in the stars. I am a writer and a traveller with a penchant for history and getting off the beaten track.”

The diaries of the happy loner. “I’m loner and what!!!”

Kitt Noir. “Lover of literature, cats, history, art, food, old movies, seasides and nature.”

Currents and Waves.  Stevehi, “happily retired,” says about himself, by way of introduction:

“Under Construction

That’s the state of things here , a work in progress albeit limited progress .
at times .
My interests for the purposes of this blog is poetry though I do stray sometimes to other things.
I feel I’m in this for the long haul now since my urges to hit delete blog button have passed for the most part . I’ll see how things go and let the words flow when they will.”

Animating your life.  “It’s all about becoming the people we are meant to be. Gently but continually stretching our comfort zones and finding our strengths and getting inner genius out. I’m writing this blog to explore and expand my own association between good art, art that moves us emotionally, and the life lessons we need to learn.”

Psychologist Mimi.   “I am a social marketing expert (or so I have been told by the powers that be) and a PhD social psychologist by training who works in the public health field trying to bring a little common sense to it all and thus, I make everyone call me Dr. Just kidding! I don’t care much for those type of people. I am a New Yorker, who has lived throughout the United States and abroad, but my New Yorker wit (AKA snark; bite) and sensibilities always stay with me. All the world is my television and life is a highway and I like to provide commentary on it. Cheers”

I knew this was going to happen: I am having some trouble deciding which blogs to name here. I am aware that I am leaving out many blogs that I enjoy.

Here are some things that are helping me to decide.

I  am not including blogs I listed when I accepted the previous award I got, here, or other blogs I’ve mentioned in previous posts.

I’m recognizing that I will have chances, in the future, to express appreciation to the bloggers I am leaving out today.

And I’m realizing that there is definitely one more blogger I HAVE to include here, in my list of appreciations:

Ron Scubadiver.  “I am a veteran scuba diver, based in Houston, Texas, with over 1,000 dives who does not take pictures underwater, and can’t offer a good explanation for that. This blog is curated to reflect my current interests and style, so old posts will see changes over time. Somebody must find it interesting, as this blog received over 1,000,000 views from more than 120 countries in a little more than two years.

Please take no offense if I do not respond to “chain letter” awards as they are outside the scope of this blog.

Although there are many landscapes and even some photos of wild animals, my real purpose is, as one of my photographer friends put it, “to capture the essence of what us humans are all about.””

Check!

Thanks to all the bloggers I acknowledged here. (As I say to anybody I include in these posts, please let me know if you want me to change anything I’ve included about you.) Thanks to all the bloggers I read, whom I have NOT included in today’s post.  And thanks to you, for reading today.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Day 185: Airing things out

Posted on July 4, 2013 by Ann Koplow

I think it’s good to air things out — to be direct about feelings and thoughts. To get things out in the open.

That’s a lesson I’ve learned, over and over again.

If we keep things inside, they tend to expand in importance. If we keep things hidden away, they tend to breed shame.

I’ve been re-reading some of my own posts this morning, and, boy, do I see THAT as a recurring theme: Airing Things Out (especially things like stress, anxiety, and worry).

By re-reading this morning, I also see that I’ve really been stressed out this year. Duh. I knew I would be — because of the job I’d taken on, and the other random Acts of Courage I might be called on to perform.

I like the word “Courage.” I think it’s appropriate whenever any of us makes a change, ventures out, or risks rejection, failure, or any set-back.

In other words, whenever we go outside, speak our truth, or interact in any way.

I took these pictures yesterday, at work:

IMG_1253

IMG_1254

 

They are airing out the lockers, because of the saw-toothed buggies that had found their way inside. (See here for more about that, in a post about Horror Stories and Non-Horror Stories.)

They got rid of the bugs, without pesticides. They emptied things out, left the doors open, for all to see inside.

(I love metaphors. Can you tell?)

When I walked by the lockers yesterday  I took these pictures, assuming I would use them in a post some day.

If not today, when?

I want to say this, right now: Going into work yesterday, where I saw and took these pictures, was an act of courage. It will be another courageous act, to return there tomorrow.

In addition to naming acts of courage, I think it helps to applaud them. I’ve used applause as a sound effect in posts this year (like here). I’ve also done groups (as a facilitator and a participant) where people have applauded when somebody did something courageous, new, or helpful in any way.

I think applauding helps.  It might seem hokey, or immodest, or awkward.

If so, that’s probably because it’s unfamiliar.

Yesterday, at work, several people spoke about progress they’ve made in reducing symptoms of anxiety, depression and stress. At one point, I said, “I wish I had some confetti, because I feel like throwing some.”

Where I used to work, we did throw confetti, every once in a while, to celebrate acts of courage and progress people had made.

confetti1

That took some time to clean up, I must say.

More fun to clean up than bugs, though. Wouldn’t you agree?

Thanks for reading. I hope you celebrate something today  (especially your own courage) (open up and look for it; it’s there).

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Day 183: Halfway

Posted on July 2, 2013 by Ann Koplow

My Year of Living Non-Judgmentally is half over.

An amazing person and poet named Marc* sent me this e-mail a couple of days ago:

Now that you’re about halfway through your year of daily blogging, I’m wondering what you’ve learned from the experience? What has surprised you? What shape has your audience taken?

What lessons you’d offer others.

If you have a moment, I’d love to hear from you, or if you prefer to put it in your blog, just let me know when it comes out and I’ll read it there.

What I’ve Learned From This Experience

A lot. A whole lot. One hundred and eighty-two days worth of learning.

When I saw Marc’s question, I thought, “Arrrgh! I’m going to have to write a long post on a Tuesday morning, when I need to be getting ready for work. How will I do that?”

I can do that. That’s something that I’ve learned.

I’ve learned that writing every day helps me deal with challenging situations.

I’ve learned that I’m capable of being that disciplined.

I’ve learned that I can write short posts and long posts, and that each post is good enough.

I’ve also “re-learned” a lot of things, like:

  • I will go through ups and downs.
  • It helps to let go of judgment about how I’m doing, as best I can.
  • There are a lot of things that look beautiful, that I can take pictures of.

IMG_0828

 

  • There are a lot of things that look silly, that I can take pictures of.

IMG_1255

 

Actually, every post I’ve written reflects something I’ve learned this year, but I won’t torture you by including 182 links here.

I’ve learned that I can keep learning new things, including How to Blog and How to Blog With More Bells and Whistles. And I’ve (re-)learned that learning something new takes time — and mistakes — to get better.

What Has Surprised You?

Actually, just re-read everything I wrote for What I’ve Learned from This Experience, above, for a good-enough answer to this question, too.

It surprises — and pleases — me that so many things can still surprise me.

That’s something else I’ve re-learned, this year: When I’m more engaged and tuned in to life, I am constantly surprised, often by joy.

Okay, I HAVE to link to a recent post, now, since its title is too perfect (“Surprised by Joy“).

What Shape Has Your Audience Taken?

Here are the first two answers that came into my head:

  1. I don’t really know.
  2. The perfect shape.

What Lessons I’d Offer Others

That’s a tough one for me to address, since I don’t like giving advice, and I tend to downplay my role as a teacher (preferring to invite people to get in touch with their own wisdom). At the same time, I MUST see myself as a teacher, since I seem to think I have something useful to offer, every friggin’ day of this year.

If Marc was curious about what lessons I would offer others regarding doing a daily blog, or any blog at all, that’s simple:

If you think it would help in any way, just do it.

No regrets here, dear reader.

Thanks to Marc, of course. And thanks to you for being here, at my halfway point.

_________________

Check out more about Marc here.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Day 168: A dream of dancing

Posted on June 17, 2013 by Ann Koplow

In Day 148: Dreams I Have Known, I wrote about a dream where I knew I was asleep and dreaming, didn’t like the feeling, and tried to wake up, fighting the typical “dream paralysis.”

Last night, I had a dream that started that same way: that is, I had just fallen asleep and I knew I was dreaming. Usually I don’t like those early-sleep dreams, because I often have a sense of discomfort or foreboding … like there is some danger present. Last night, I didn’t fight the dream or try to wake up, and it quickly shifted into something else. I was in a room that was like a big studio, with mirrors on the walls. I could see myself, and I decided to try some dance moves. Specifically, I wanted to kick my legs way up, to a full extension. Something like this:

kimeneslatteryching

Or this:

Micah kick

And I could see myself, and that reflected image looked like me and dressed like me, and — lo and behold — I could do those kicks.

It was great.

I woke up and I thought, “I want to remember that dream. And I want to blog about it tomorrow.”

I did and I am.

I’m enjoying the memory of that dream, right now. It was fun, freeing, and effortless. I felt graceful and centered. I was surprised by my skill and knew that it was the Dream Me, but the movement and expression seemed to come out of the Real Me.

While I might not be able to kick exactly the way I did in that dream, I know I can kick — in other ways — in real life.

Thanks for kicking back with me, here and now.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Day 166: The Year of Living Non-Judgmentally Merchandise: T-shirts

Posted on June 15, 2013 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, I went to a conference feeling some disappointment, anger, insecurity, and other uncomfortable feelings, but also hopeful that I would learn some things.

Part of my ensemble for the day was my t-shirt, proclaiming that I am the longest surviving person in the world with a pacemaker.

photo (54)

I made that choice because (1) I wanted to dress down rather than up (since that seemed more of a “fit” for where I was) and (2) my wearing that “bragging right” was inspired by another participant at that same conference, two years ago.

I started out the day, wondering what I would do with all those uncomfortable feelings I mentioned in the first paragraph, which had born out of my public “failure” at that conference: that is, (1) my having finally decided to be a workshop presenter rather than just a participant and (2) said Sunday workshop being cancelled due to low registration numbers.

I participated in a wonderful, all-day group, about Courage in Groups, where I learned a lot from the other people there. I expressed a lot of my feelings, including the difficult ones. I witnessed people demonstrating courage by being vulnerable, trying new things, and risking shame in front of people they didn’t know before.

The people in my group liked my t-shirt, and they suggested that I make and wear two other ones, including:

Beautiful when angry

Failure is just a construct

Today, it’s occurring to me that merchandising might be the answer to my yearnings for fame and fortune. Here are some possible Year of Living Non-Judgmentally t-shirts:

Are you trying to sell me something?

Alone in the presence of others

Left the house before I felt ready

Hero of my own story

Woke up this morning feeling uneasy

My path (with a picture of the ascending coil)

This is the only thing I can change

Good enough AND making it better

Losing my investment in the outcome

Working on my to do list

Trying one weird trick

Figuring it out

Owing people e-mails

Wow! It looks like many of my blog posts could be t-shirts, people.

I’m shortening this blog post, only because I need to focus on the second day of the conference.

I’ll be contacting intellectual property lawyers about this whole t-shirt scheme.

Thanks for reading, today, and feel free to place advance orders.

© Ann Koplow 2013. All rights reserved.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Day 164: Unfreezing

Posted on June 13, 2013 by Ann Koplow

When I was a kid, I had lots of scary experiences in the hospital, all by myself, because my parents weren’t allowed to be with me.

I remember listening to the beeping sounds of heart monitors, in the darkest part of the night, feeling frozen.

I’m writing this blog post from a cot in a hospital room, next to my amazing 15-year-old son, who is recovering quite nicely from a procedure, this afternoon, to correct a “spontaneous pneumothorax.”

Earlier, this was the view from his hospital room as day turned to night:

Image

ImageImage

It’s the darkest part of the night, right now. The only sounds I hear in this room are reassuring ones, including those of my son’s undisturbed sleep.

Each moment I’m with him now, I’m unfreezing.

Thanks, so much, for witnessing this.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Day 157: Decisions, Decisions

Posted on June 6, 2013 by Ann Koplow

I can’t believe that I haven’t written a post with this title yet.

Decisions, Decisions.

Eeeeek!

Decisions do not come easily to me.  I have an excuse, too.  According to my Myers-Briggs inventory results, I have a high amount of Perceiving (vs. Judging), and, quoting that Wikipedia article I just linked to:

According to Myers, perceptive types prefer to “keep decisions open”.

I’ll say. That strong preference of mine tends to make things a bit dodgy — for me and other people involved, I assume — when there’s a need for me to make a decision.

For example, here are some decisions I should be making, ASAP:

  1. Details about a big (in my mind) workshop I’m presenting, to esteemed peers, about the new therapy groups I’m doing at work … IN 10 DAYS!!!!!
  2. Details about a trip I want to take this August, with my son, to London and Edinburgh.
  3. Whether or not to cancel my credit card, which I managed to lose track of THE VERY SAME DAY I published this post about losing things (a decision which will have some effect on my ability to act quickly, once I decide about #2, above).

I hesitate to tell you the machinations and agonies my mind can go through, when I’m trying to make a decision like those above, because I don’t want to bore, horrify, or distress you (or myself), this morning.

Hey, that was a decision I  made! (Although I have to tell you, because I’m so friggin’ transparent about everything, that I just wrote a paragraph where I DID give an example of how ridiculous a decision process can be for me.) (But I erased it.) (And, hey! That was a decision I made!)

You and I might be getting this idea, right now.  Even though I have trouble making decisions, I still have to make them, all the time. And I do.

But with any decision, I can really get caught up in my own mind in an unpleasant and unproductive way.  Usually what trips me up are these thoughts:

There is a right or wrong decision.  If I choose unwisely, there will be major consequences.

Fueled by those kinds of anxiety-provoking thoughts, I go  back and forth, with pros and cons.

I’m “blessed” in the ability to see many different sides to any question or situation. But that blessing can REALLY elongate and confuse the whole Weighing Pros And Cons Thing.

What helps? To remember the following:

  •  There is usually no right or wrong decision. (In other words, it helps to let go of the cognitive distortion of All-or-Nothing Thinking.)
  • Even if a decision isn’t an advantageous one, I can usually adjust and learn from it.
  • My decisions probably won’t affect other people as adversely as I fear.

No matter what, though, I still DON’T LIKE making important decision. I woke up this morning — aware of those three Needs for Decision-Making I listed above —  feeling quite cranky.

I’ll tell you something else. When I’m in a certain state of mind, every decision can feel important. Then, I’m REALLY cranky.

Take this blog post I just wrote, for example. I’m wondering about decisions I’ve made so far, and whether I should I undo them:

Should I have used all those capitalizations in this post?  Did I give enough examples?  Is the writing colorful enough? Is the tone too breezy? Should I have included an anecdote about how I got so tripped up by a ridiculously trivial decision regarding my workshop presentation?  Should I have included the story about my wedding to my ex and how it took us 8 years to decide to get married (because he’s a Myers-Briggs Perceiver, too) but once we decided, I scheduled and planned the whole friggin’ thing, making decisions left and right, in two months?

Ahhhhhh, who cares. The post is what it is.

Whatever THAT is.

You decide.

And thanks for reading!

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Day 155: Worrier vs. Warrior

Posted on June 4, 2013 by Ann Koplow

So, yesterday, I wrote an upbeat post, where the moral of the story was, essentially:

Don’t worry, be happy.

I mean, that’s a simplistic retelling, but I believe that captures the overall tone.

Today I woke up, with worry RIGHT THERE, all through me. I felt it in my furrowed brow, in the content and tenor of my thoughts, in the pit of my stomach.

I thought, “Oh, no, not again. Will I EVER stop feeling this way?”

And I listed the reasons why I felt worried, anxious, small, vulnerable, even unsafe, in those early morning moments:

  1. A bank balance smaller than expected.
  2. A weight, on my scale, larger than expected.
  3. A pain in my foot, which I felt with every step.

It helped to list those reasons in my thoughts.

It REALLY helps to write them down, now.

It helps to know I have reasons to be anxious.

Those are the facts.

These aren’t:

I am in trouble financially.

I don’t take good care of myself.

I am too vigilant.

I am not vigilant enough.

The deterioration of my body is inevitable.  I should expect that the physical things I love to do (like walking) will be taken away from me.

This is what happens when I feel good about my life — things goes terribly wrong.

I had more thoughts, this morning, which involved labeling myself in unkind ways. I also lingered, for a little while, in a very helpless, scared, depressed place, inside myself.

However, I did take action.

  • I talked to myself, identifying the worst fears and remembering other times when I’ve felt this way (and survived to tell the tale, obviously).
  • I sent an e-mail to somebody who helps me with money.
  • I put on a pair of shoes which relieved the pain.
  • And, I made a disparaging remark to the scale.

Last, but not least, I started writing this blog post.

It helps to take action … no matter how small the action is.

It turns me from worrier to warrior.

And I do seem to need to fight this battle, against fear and “catastrophizing” thoughts.

I get confused about the “right things” to do, a lot.

But taking action makes a difference.  It  really does.

Thanks for reading, this morning.

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