Posts Tagged With: open heart surgery

Day 1357: All You Need

Posted on September 18, 2016 by Ann Koplow

Do you need to read a post today titled “All You Need”? Is that all you need? If not, what helps you get all you need? Are you in touch with your needs? Do you have fears about being too needy? Do you need to learn how to reach out to others when you have needs?

Was that all you needed about needs?

All I need, right now, is to get on a plane with my boyfriend (and cook extraordinaire) Michael. We need to fly to Minnesota so I can get the mechanical heart valve I need and a brand new vertical “zipper” scar.

All we need are photos from needy me:

All I need are good friends who accept my needs and who give me lovely tokens for this trip I need to take.

All I needed to find for my trip was a new, comfortable robe for the hospital. Sometimes, we get what we need.

I found the robe I needed, last night, with a big beautiful heart.

All we need is a song about all I need by The Hollies.

All you need, sometimes, is a good thank you.

All you need to do, now, is leave a comment. That’s just what I need.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: "The Air That I Breathe" by The Hollies, accepting needs, balancing your needs with others, letting go of fear, neediness, needs, new heart valve, open heart surgery, preparing for surgery, zipper scar | 62 Comments

Day 1356: Important

Posted on September 17, 2016 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, while I was waiting for an important appointment at an important Boston hospital, I saw this important book:

After I saw that important book, I saw my important cardiologist Dr. Deeb Salem, who thought it important to tell me about two important people fainting when observing open heart surgery. It’s probably important for me to share now that I’m having important open heart surgery in four days at the important Mayo Clinic in important Rochester, Minnesota. That surgery is so important to me that I asked for an important hug from the important Dr. Salem yesterday for the first time in our important 34-year doctor/patient relationship. I also told Dr. Salem that I’m so important to his important colleague and fellow cardiologist Dr. Mark Estes that Dr. Estes had promised to importantly greet me with his important medical team at Boston’s important airport when I return in two weeks from my important surgery.

Then I went back to my important job at another important Boston hospital, where many important people wished me well.

Here are more of my important shots from yesterday:

It’s important to note that those last two important shots include important lyrics from the important musical, Hamilton. Here‘s the important Hamilton number “(I Am Not Throwing Away) My Shot.”

Another important fact in today’s important post: last night I gave myself my first important injection of twice-daily anti-coagulant before my important surgery …

… and then I threw away my shot.

What’s important, here and now, to you?

Gratitude is important to me, so ….

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "My Shot", CCTGA, Dr. Deeb Salem, Dr. Mark Estes, Hamilton, open heart surgery, preparing for heart surgery, The Important Book, We Are All Alike, We Are All Different | 28 Comments

Day 1354: See the love in everything

Posted on September 15, 2016 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, after facilitating a therapy group I loved at work, I went to see my lovely Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapist, George. I love EMDR, because it has helped me reduce my anxiety about very unlovely experiences I had in the hospital when I was a child.

Because I’m having open heart surgery at the Mayo Clinic next Wednesday, I loved the opportunity to work with George in reducing my anxiety about that. George and I tried several lovely images to use when I’m going into surgery on September 21, including floating on the top of lovely water or being held by loving hands. I love that I came up with this idea at the end of the session: I said to George, “I shall just see the love in everything.” George loved that, too.

I love reporting to you that after the session, I saw the love in everything and everybody. I love that next week I shall also see the love in:

the lovely Deb, who will drive us to the airport in her lovely Honda Fit,
the security personnel at the airport,
the plane that takes my boyfriend Michael and me to Minneapolis,
the shuttle that transports us to Rochester,
the hotel where we’ll be staying across the street from the hospital before my admission,
all the staff at the Mayo Clinic,
all the tests they’ll give me,
the needles and other things they’ll poke me with,
the questions they’ll ask me,
the operating room,
the hands of my surgeon,
the cardiac care unit,
the machines I’ll be attached to,
the medications they’ll give me,
the tubes going in and out of my body, and
everything and everybody else during my recovery.

Do you see the love in everything I photographed yesterday?

I see the love in those cats named Stormcloud and Peaches, who are being adopted together by some lovely family today.

I see the love in this lovely tune, which my late father sang with love to my late mother at an anniversary celebration.

I will see the love in everything you leave in a comment.

I see the love in all who helped me create this post and in you, here and now.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: CCTGA, EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, Heart valve replacement surgery, letting go of fear, Nat King Cole, open heart surgery, Our Love is Here to Stay, preparing for heart surgery, the healing power of groups | 39 Comments

Day 1346: Winners and Losers

Posted on September 7, 2016 by Ann Koplow

Today’s title reminds me of two common cognitive distortions: black-and-white thinking and labeling. Yes, we humans — winners and losers all — tend to see things in all-or-nothing terms and we also assign judgmental labels to people, especially ourselves.

We are all winners and losers at some points, aren’t we? Actually, a more winning perspective might be that “winners” and “losers” are subjective terms that don’t really help. If I call myself a winner or a loser today, does that change who I am? Don’t those all-or-nothing labels just cause me to temporarily win or lose confidence, putting myself on a self-esteem roller coaster? What would we lose if we stopped calling ourselves losers or winners and just radically accepted ourselves exactly where we are? Personally, I think we would win a lot.

Considering my thoughts on winners and losers, am I a winner or a loser to now ask which of my photos from yesterday are winners or losers?

I shall not lose the opportunity to win you over by sharing the impulses behind those photos:

I am trying to win some acceptance about starting a new medication: Warfarin (a/k/a Coumadin).
Warfarin/Coumadin affects how your body uses Vitamin K.
The foods listed on the white board win the prize for having high amounts of Vitamin K.
I’ll need to win a greater understanding of how to control Vitamin-K-rich foods in my diet, or I might lose my health.
Hygga is a Danish word meaning “cozy,” a new-to-me concept which I find very winning.
My cat Oscar can be very hygga.
I am trying to win calmness and lose stress about my upcoming heart surgery and my only child going overseas for college by playing online solitaire.
My boyfriend Michael cooked a winning meal last night.

Is this piece of music a winner or a loser, according to you?

If you leave a comment, I’m a winner!

I’d be some kind of loser if I didn’t express thanks to all who helped me create this post and to you — of course! — for winning my heart by visiting here, today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Loser" by Beck, all or nothing thinking, black and white thinking, CCTGA, cognitive distortions, hygga, Labeling, open heart surgery, radical acceptance, Vitamin K, Warfarin | 33 Comments

Day 1340: What you need to know

Posted on September 1, 2016 by Ann Koplow

What you need to know first about this post is that it was inspired by this patient publication from the Mayo Clinic, which I was reading yesterday:

What you need to know about me, right now, is:

I’m having open heart surgery at the Mayo Clinic later this month.
My only son is leaving for a five-year program at Edinburgh University in 10 days, and he wants to watch certain movies with me and my boyfriend Michael before he leaves.
I am a group therapist who recently facilitated two groups where the members chose to focus on the topics “nature” and “appreciation.”
I saw my cardiologist, Dr. Deeb Salem, yesterday, and he was very encouraging about my future health.
I am not particularly looking forward to open heart surgery, especially because it will definitely incapacitate me from blogging daily, as I have every day since January 2013.
I don’t like being incapacitated.
A person I greatly respect used the words “delightful,” “brilliant,” and “resilient” to describe me yesterday.
I’m very glad to know that I’m resilient, since that implies I will recover relatively quickly from open heart surgery.
I like cats.
I have to watch what I eat and avoid too much salt.
I have handwriting that can be difficult to read.
I took lots of other photos yesterday, if you need to know:

What you need to know is that I always try to make a grreat choice for music in my blog posts.

What you need to know is that when I first understood, four months ago, that I needed to have heart valve replacement surgery performed at the Mayo Clinic, I created this YouTube video about that and shared it in a previous blog post:

You need to know that I’m more reconciled to heart valve replacement surgery today than I was when I first sang that song on May 31.

Anything you need to know or to express, here and now?

What you need to know is that I appreciate every one who helped me create today’s post and you — of course! — no matter what you need to know, today.

Categories: adult congenital heart, group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "So What?", ACHD, CCTGA, healing in groups, Heart valve replacement surgery, open heart surgery, pictures of kittens, resilience, The Mayo Clinic | 43 Comments

Day 1336: Stress Relief

Posted on August 28, 2016 by Ann Koplow

Because I’m a psychotherapist, I know about stress relief. And because I’m a person alive in the year 2016, I sometimes need stress relief.

Where do you find stress relief?

In a can?

In the refrigerator?

In books?

In travel?

In other creatures?

In things you can buy?

In boo boo kisses?

Tomorrow, I’m going back to work in Boston, Massachusetts, USA. In two weeks, my only child is leaving for a five-year mathematics program in Edinburgh, Scotland. In three weeks, I’ll be in Minnesota preparing for my first open heart surgery.

I don’t know about you, but I could probably use some stress relief.

Here’s the first thing I found on YouTube for “stress relief.”

Is it possible that leaving a comment for this post might provide stress relief for somebody?

I know that gratitude is great for stress relief, so thanks to all who helped me create this post and to you — of course! — for any stress relief you find or bring, here and now.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: Broken tail rescue, Deluxe Town Diner, empty nest, letting go of fear, letting go of stress, life changes, open heart surgery, the healing power of music, the healing power of pets | 63 Comments

Day 1335: Haste ye back

Posted on August 27, 2016 by Ann Koplow

As my son Aaron and I were leaving Scotland yesterday, I saw this sign:

Aaron will be hasting himself back to Scotland in two weeks to attend the University of Edinburgh for a five-year bachelors/masters program in mathematics, assuming his student visa is hasted back to him soon enough.

We hasted ourselves back to Boston, Massachusetts, USA last night, after a hasty stop-over at the Dublin airport.

Haste ye back to looking at my other hastily snapped photos from yesterday:

I shall now haste me back to YouTube, to find some music for this post.

Next month, I’ll be hasting me back to a hospital for some open heart surgery on September 21. I’ll be hasting me back to this daily blog after that, as soon as I can.

Haste ye back to this conversation I had recently with an EMDR therapist named George:

Me: After my valve-replacement surgery, I’ll have to keep avoiding sodium AND I’ll need to closely monitor the greens I eat. I wonder what my diet will be?

George: Donuts.

Haste ye back to the comments sections of this post and I’ll haste me back to respond in kind.

Hasty thanks to all who helped me create today’s haste-ye-back post and to you — of course! — no matter how quickly and where you are going today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: "Haste Ye Back" by Iain Reddy, CCTGA, Edinburgh, Edinburgh airport, Irish proverbs, living with congenital heart condition, open heart surgery, Scenes of Scotland, student visas | 22 Comments

Day 1274: Reading

Posted on June 27, 2016 by Ann Koplow

What have you been reading lately (besides reading this blog)? I’ve been reading this:

Yesterday I did an online tarot card reading about this question, “How will my open heart surgery go in September?” I don’t usually do tarot card readings or read too much into them. However, I did want to share this reading with my readers. Note that you’ll be reading what I read into this reading in italicized notes.

Card 1: How you feel about yourself

The Hierophant

You feel a need for advice or wise council or perhaps spiritual consolation. Someone, or perhaps immediate events, will provide moral and practical guidance. Perhaps you are considering becoming such a tutor, counsellor or spiritual advisor.

You desire the tried and tested traditional values, so when considering your options, this approach will prove wiser than adopting an unconventional novel approach.

I read this part of the reading like so: I do feel the need for advice and wise council from the surgeon who will be performing the operation. I assume that other people and immediate events will provide guidance for me about how best to prepare myself for the experience. Also, we’ll probably go with the tried and true way of performing open heart surgery with general anesthesia rather than the unconventional novel approach of my staying awake (which you may have read about here).

Card 2: What you want most right now

The Devil

The cards suggest that what you most want at this time you can’t have, and like the forbidden fruit this only makes it all the more tempting. Alternatively you know you could go for something, but it would be a bad choice and you’d be doing it for all the wrong reasons.

What I most want at this time is NOT TO HAVE OPEN HEART SURGERY, but I’m doing my best to reach acceptance.

Card 3: Your fears

The Tower

You are afraid your world is falling apart: you’re experiencing sudden changes and disruption and you don’t know what to do.

Perhaps subconsciously you’ve wanted a solution to an issue but didn’t quite expect things to have turned out as they have. Use this change as an opportunity for a new beginning.

Okay!

Card 4: What is going for you

The Emperor

You are self-assured and more than capable of influencing people or events to achieve what you want.

What’s more, support and guidance from your father, husband/partner or another man of significance in your life is there for the asking.

Make the most of your resources.

Okay!

Card 5: What is going against you

The Moon

You are frozen with fear, lacking nerve and confused as to what it is you actually want.

You are allowing all your fears and anxieties to hold you back when you should be opening your mind to new and unexpected possibilities.

Okay!

Card 6: The likely outcome

Death

This is a transformational time for you.

However turbulent or perhaps distressing some of the events in your life may be, endings always leave room for brand new beginnings.

This is a fresh start in life for you, embrace it and live every day as though it were your last – life is for living!

Okay!

I’m interested in reading what you read into that tarot card reading. I also hope to read how you’re reading these photos I took yesterday:

Here‘s one of the songs you might have noticed while you were reading this post:

Depending upon where you’re reading this, you might not be able to read that YouTube video of “Come Dancing” by the Kinks. If so, there are lots of other versions you can read on the internet.

I’m looking forward to reading your thoughts and feelings about this post.

Thanks for reading!

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, staying healthy | Tags: "Come Dancing", acceptance, living with a congenital heart condition, online tarot reading, open heart surgery, Union Square Somerville | 40 Comments

Day 1273: Many Signs

Posted on June 26, 2016 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, I saw many signs.

When you read those many signs, were there many surprises? Did you see the many signs that I saw the play I Was Most Alive With You, which used American Sign Language?

I saw that amazing play yesterday with my long-time, wonderful friend Barbara.

Do you see many signs in Barbara’s beautiful pendant?

To me, that looks like a heart encircled by ribs, which is one of many signs that I’m having open heart surgery in September.

The last photos I took yesterday are two of the many signs that I’m currently obsessed with the musical Hamilton (there are many signs of this obsession here, here, and here).

Here are many signs I just found on YouTube:

I wonder if there will be many signs from my readers in the comments section of today’s post?

I hope you pick up the many signs of gratitude I have for those who help me create these posts and those who read them, including you!

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: Boston signs, Hamilton, I Was Most Alive With You, living with a congenital heart condition, living with cctga, open heart surgery, Very Funny Stupid Signs | 28 Comments

Day 1270: Accepting all feelings

Posted on June 23, 2016 by Ann Koplow

People who work with me in therapy accept that I often focus on the importance of accepting all feelings, even uncomfortable ones like fear and sadness. If we accept all feelings, instead of repressing or judging them, then all feelings can naturally flow through us.

These days, I am accepting all feelings –including hope, fear, and sadness — as I feel my way towards open heart surgery on September 21.

Yesterday, I accepted all feelings in an Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy session. In that session, I transformed all my feelings about this thought:

Strangers are going to split me open, like they’re filleting a fish, and look at my totally exposed heart in a cold and lonely room.

to this thought:

People who want the best for me are going to have the privilege of seeing my unusual and beautiful heart and making it better. Maybe they’ll even take a picture of my heart so I can finally see it!

Throughout that EMDR exercise, I was accepting all feelings about this image (which I found here):

awakesurgery

What feelings are you accepting now?

I am accepting all feelings about that image and about these photos I took yesterday:

I am accepting all feelings about all these songs about feelings (on YouTube here, here, here, and here):

Whatever feelings you have about this post, I accept them.

I’m accepting all my feelings of gratitude for those who helped me create this post and for you — of course! — no matter what feelings you’re accepting, here and now.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: EMDR, feelings, open heart surgery, personal better/worst scale, songs about feelings | 48 Comments