humor

Day 403: Practice, practice, practice

Posted on February 7, 2014 by Ann Koplow

In yesterday’s post,  where I contended with (1) Mother Nature and (2) new information about my health and my heart, I wrote a very odd section. Or, at least, I kept thinking that section was odd, as I re-read that post throughout the day. Here’s the section:

  • I DO know how to drive in the snow (I HAVE had lots of practice)
  • I have a fine little car, for that purpose: it’s a 5-speed manual, and
  • I’ve had lots of practice with that.

And every time I reached that section of the post, I thought:

Gee!  That’s weird, isn’t it?  I know I rewrote that section (adding bullet points, at the last minute) to try to make it more clear, but now that whole “practice” thing is repetitive.  I mean, that third bullet point seems totally extraneous!  I know that when I wrote that, that second “lots of practice” seemed important to express — somehow different — but now, it doesn’t seem to be giving any new information.

So every time I re-read (and I did re-read that post many times, throughout the day), I would stop, ponder, consider rewriting, and then move on.

It was like that third bullet point needed to be there, to express something that I could no longer put into words.

But, because I can be — picky? perfectionistic?  JUDGMENTAL? — about my own writing, the repetitiveness bothered me.  So, eventually, I edited that section by adding a “too” to the end.

So, dear readers, why am I writing about all this, this morning?

Well, it all makes sense to ME.  But, that’s not enough. I also want this post to make sense to others. So, here’s my best attempt at making sense, right now. First, some background, for this post:

  • Today is my last day at work, before my vacation.
  • At my current job, I  feel more stressed the week before my vacation. (By the way, I’m not alone in that. I’ve been asking other people at work, all week, whether they share this experience, and my poll results have been 100% affirmative.)
  • When I woke up this morning, I decided to interrupt that cycle of stress.

And the way I did that? I told myself:

You’ve gone out on vacation from this job before, Ann.  You have lots of practice.

And, ladies and gentlemen, that thought, above, helped me.  And — Voila! — my blog topic, for today.

As usual, I checked my old posts, to see if “Practice” had appeared in the title before. Why did I check?  Because I do not like to be repetitive, as a writer. (She wrote, repetitively.)

After I checked my previous posts, I was surprised that the Word Du Jour was making its first appearance today.  Why was I surprised?  Because I think — and talk — about practice, a lot, and how important practice is for changing old, unhelpful habits (including thoughts that increase anxiety).

So, thank you, Practice, for making your first official appearance, here, today, in Ann’s Blog!

Now that Practice is officially here, what shall we do with it?

I know!  Let’s have some fun!

Here’s a joke I know, about practice: (which I found this morning on Wikipedia, here):

Carnegie Hall  joke

Rumor is that a pedestrian on Fifty-seventh Street, Manhattan, stopped Jascha Heifetz and inquired, “Could you tell me how to get to Carnegie Hall?” “Yes,” said Heifetz. “Practice!”

Ooops!  I spoiled the punchline there, didn’t I?  To try to make that up to you, dear readers, here’s some more information about that joke, from that same Wikipedia article:

This old joke has become part of the folklore of the hall, but its origins remain a mystery. According to The New York Times, the main player in the story has been described at various times as either an unnamed man, violinist Jascha Heifetz or the pianist Arthur Rubinstein.

On its webpage, Carnegie Hall quotes the wife of violinist Mischa Elman as having perhaps the best story of its origin: “One day, after a rehearsal that hadn’t pleased Elman, the couple was leaving Carnegie Hall by the backstage entrance when they were approached by two tourists looking for the hall’s entrance. Seeing his violin case, they asked, ‘How do you get to Carnegie Hall?’ Without looking up and continuing on his way, Elman simply replied, ‘Practice.’”

I don’t know. Maybe that additional quote wasn’t that much fun. Maybe it was too repetitive, also.

Let’s see .. how else might we have fun with “Practice,” today?

Hmmm. That reminds me of something.  When I played piano as a kid, I remember my mother saying, “Ann doesn’t really like to practice.”  And she was right.  I really wasn’t crazy about practicing.

But I sure did like to play.

How about this? For more “practice” fun, let’s check Google Images:

Image 1

Image 2

Image 3

Image 4

Image 5

Image 6

Image 7

Well, that WAS fun.  Although,  I was a little out of practice doing that —   finding and inserting a bunch of Google Images into a post.

But here’s an image —  and a saying — that also occurred to me this morning, soon after I woke up.  Putting images in this blog post is like riding a bicycle …

Image 8

It’s also like … going out on vacation, leaving anxiety behind.

I guess practice, of all kinds, bears repeating. AND, you can always improve, by doing something new!

Thanks to Mark Stivers, Joshua Wells,  Chris Piascik, Mark Anderson, and Wallace Kirkland (for some 9 of the images in this post); to Jascha Heifetz, Arthur Rubenstein, an unnamed man, Mr. and Mrs. Mischa Elman, and tourists (for the Carnegie Hall joke); to Mahatma  Gandhi; to people in and out of work today; to anybody who needs to practice anything;  and to you — of course! — for reading today.

  1. I found that image here.  2.  I found that image here.  3.  I found that image here.  4.  I found that image here.  5. I found that image here.  6.  I found that image here.  7. I found that image here.  8. I found that image here. 9.  Check out those links preceding this, for a full list of whom I should thank, okay?
Categories: humor, inspiration, personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Day 401: What’s wrong?

Posted on February 5, 2014 by Ann Koplow

What’s wrong, this morning?

  1. It’s snowing again, which might interfere with me getting to my yearly cardiology appointment (which I wrote about yesterday, which is not appearing as yesterday’s post, which I will attempt to explain in #2, directly below).
  2. WordPress — out of nowhere, inexplicably, suddenly, unexpectedly (I wonder how many other ways I could express this) — changed the “published on” date of yesterday’s post, about my cardiologist, to two days earlier than it should be, which is Groundhog Day, which might be kind of a cool metaphor, now that I think of it, but still annoys the hell out of me, especially since the order of the posts is now screwed up, and linking to that post might get screwed up, too.
  3. Doing footnotes (especially with superscripts) in these posts is a pain in the ass, and seems to invite all sorts of retribution from the WordPress Gods.

Short break, while I imagine what the WordPress Gods might look like.  Let’s see what comes up in “Google Images” for “WordPress Gods.”  Here’s the first image:

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I wonder if Jenner Davis (a photographer whose WordPress blog yielded the above image) is having trouble with footnotes and inexplicable re-dating flukiness on WordPress?  PROBABLY NOT!

Pardon me, while I have a brief tantrum:

Why don’t things work the way they’re SUPPOSED to????????????????????

AND why do these things happen to ME????????????????

Hmmmm. I do feel a little better, getting those questions out of my head.

However, I now have posed two questions in this post that ….

…. I really can NOT answer.

Now what do we do?

Sometimes posing questions helps me (and other people I’ve observed) work things out.  Sometimes posing questions (like the question in today’s title) leads to identifying specifics, which can lead to problem solving.

For example, my specific answers to my title question — “What’s wrong? — will move me to solutions, such as:

  • Making decisions about my cardiology appointment today, focusing on safety and other possible options.
  • Sending a message to WordPress Support about that friggin’ re-dating phenomenon (which I can check off my to-do list … done!).
  • Switching my current footnote technique to something less “dangerous”.*

But questions like these:

Why don’t things work the way they’re SUPPOSED to?

Why do these things only happen to ME?

…. are unanswerable, if not imponderable. Sometimes I call those “rhetorical questions”:

I am going to use Ask.com to answer the question, “What is a rhetorical question?” for some one-stop shopping, as follows:

Definition:
A question asked merely for effect with no answer expected. The answer may be obvious or immediately provided by the questioner.

A rhetorical question can be “an effective persuasive device, subtly influencing the kind of response one wants to get from an audience” (Edward P.J. Corbett). See Examples and Observations, below.

Examples and Observations:

“Something [rhetorical] questions all have in common . . . is that they are not asked, and are not understood, as ordinary information-seeking questions, but as making some kind of claim, or assertion, an assertion of the opposite polarity to that of the question.”
(Irene Koshik, Beyond Rhetorical Questions. John Benjamins, 2005)

“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?”
(H. L. Mencken)

“It did not occur to me to call a doctor, because I knew none, and although it did occur to me to call the desk and ask that the air conditioner be turned off, I never called, because I did not know how much to tip whoever might come–was anyone ever so young?”
(Joan Didion, “Goodbye to All That.” Slouching Towards Bethlehem, 1968)

Here’s another question, from me:

Does it help to ask those rhetorical, unanswerable questions? I guess we all might answer that question, in our own way.

Is the last question I asked … a rhetorical question?

Hey!  Fill in your own answer, why don’t you?  I have to figure out a way to get to my cardiologist.

But before I end this post, I would like to pose one more question — imponderable, rhetorical, whatever:

Image

Why do the guys I live with NEVER have a towel in the downstairs bathroom?

Thanks to the guys I live with, people who ask questions I can’t answer (which, as my son has pointed out, often annoys the hell out of me), Ask.com, Jenner Davis, Edward Corbett, Irene Koshik, John Benjamins, H. L. Mencken, Joan Didion (in order of appearance),  and to you — of course! — for reading today.

*  A safer, tried-and-true solution for footnotes would be these asterisks — or little stars — which (usually!) cause no problems in my posts, as long as I keep the list of footnotes short enough. Of course, there’s no guarantee of THAT. **

** But — at least —  I have control over that problem.

Categories: humor, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Day 399: What I wanted for my birthday

Posted on February 3, 2014 by Ann Koplow

Good morning, WordPressers (and people who read this blog without that much awareness of their surroundings)!

It’s time for the Post-Birthday Wrap-up Blog!

It’s going to be short one, so let’s look at the highlights, shall we?

As I wrote a couple of days ago (in this post), I knew there might be disappointments during the anniversary of my birth. Here’s a quote from that post:

As much as I love and look forward to my birthday, I’ve been disappointed, during some birthdays past. I’ve expected too much, and gotten too little. So, perhaps, I’m afraid of a repeat of those disappointments, this year.

And, yes, there was a point during the day when it looked like I was NOT going to get the attention, fuss, excitement, awareness of my birthday that I expected, wanted, yearned for.

So what happened?

I got mad, and I started to talk to myself, as follows:

Arrrghh!  This sucks!  Why do I even get excited about my birthday, anyway? People think I’m doing all sorts of exciting things, but I’m doing NOTHING!  And I’m all ALONE right now!  Where are the people who are SUPPOSED to be here?!?  Geesh! Maybe people are planning a successful surprise party for me, for the first time in my friggin’ six decades?!! AS IF!!! No sirree, people who know me are all just living their lives, assuming that I’m getting what I want on this day … AND I’M NOT!!

Well, sports fans (or observers, in general), what would you say was going on, during that portion of yesterday’s game?

Here’s my analysis:

I was having a  tantrum.

That is, I was focusing on assumptions and expectations of what the day should be like, plus memories of old disappointments, and the result was this: anger, in a child-like way.

Now, I didn’t scream, hit,  break anything, or hold my breath until I turned blue. I didn’t even yell (although that would have been okay). I just allowed myself to feel the feelings. And I did speak my thoughts out loud, including this one:

This is what I want for my birthday. Just to feel my anger and express it, without judgment.

And I felt better.

Soon after that, I was able to contact my son’s father, and arrange to pick up my son.  Since spending time with my son was one of the gifts I was expecting on my birthday, I felt better.

On my way driving there, I still allowed myself to feel all my feelings, including my disappointment and annoyance. And while I didn’t want to be late, I allowed myself to stop and take this photo:

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And  thought, “So what if this makes me a little bit late?!!  Screw them!”

And I felt better.

When I got to my son’s father’s girlfriend’s home, and I was waiting for my son to get ready to go, my ex said something to me that …. pissed me off. I got annoyed and defensive. So I said to him, “You know what?  Today is my birthday, and this is what I want for my birthday: I want to be able to get mad at people and not worry about the result. And I’m mad right now!”

So I said more about that, to my ex. And I had a “tone” — an angry tone (which I’ve caught hell for using, in the past).  But my ex actually seemed okay with that. He just listened.

And I kept going. As a matter of fact, I kind of had a little tantrum — but in an adult way.  What do I mean by that?  Well, I followed some rules, for interpersonal effectiveness, even while I was expressing my anger.

I DID:

  • Use “I” statements whenever possible, describe my personal experience of thoughts and feelings.
  • Explain the context of my reaction.
  • Use adult skills, including logic and self-awareness.

I DID NOT:

  • Call names, make threats of any kind, or appear unduly frightening.
  • Use “You” statements, which put other people on the defensive.

Because I was following these rules, and my ex was just listening, this  actually became a little bit …

…. fun.

So when my ex’s girlfriend came into the room, soon after followed by my son, I informed them what was going on, like so:

It’s my birthday today, and I’ve decided what I want. I want that to be a day when I’m allowed to get angry at anybody I want to. Like now!

And everybody was okay with it, amazingly.

As a result, I felt much better. And there were even smiles and some laughing, in the room.

And from then on, my birthday was great.  Really and truly, one of the best birthdays, ever. Because, not only did I get these gifts:

  • Having my own anger, without consequence, and
  • Spending time with my son and my inamorato 1.

… I got these great gifts, too:

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carol card

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And the last (but not least) gift I’m going to show here ….

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Blogging Slippers!!!!

Thanks to my family, my friends, all those people who can express and/or hear anger in an effective way, and to you — of course!! — for reading today.

  1. Thanks to fellow blogger, babsje, who suggested this title for my boyfriend/studmuffin/honey/sweetheart/whatever-you-want-to-call-him, Michael.
Categories: humor, inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , | 53 Comments

Day 398: Year-old, Random Birthday Images

Posted on February 2, 2014 by Ann Koplow

Last year, around this time,  I posted (including here and here) about my 60th birthday party.

Because I was new to WordPress and to blogging —  feeling less secure than I do now — I was more careful about self-disclosure then. So I wasn’t always clear, detailed, or precise, as I described the pre- and post-party process.

One post I’ve considered writing, since then, is “How to Plan a Meaningful Birthday Party for Somebody of A Certain Age, Even if It’s For Yourself.”  But that task remains on my To Do List (perhaps because I really need to tighten up that title).

Well, today is exactly a year after that birthday party, which means:

#1.  It’s Groundhog Day!

Image 1

#2.  It’s my birthday!

#3.  I get to do whatever I want, in this post!

Technically, #3 is true any time I blog, but somehow — when it’s my birthday — I really FEEL that freedom. (Maybe that’s one reason I love my birthday.)

Anyway, what do I want to do today?  I want to show you images from last year’s party, never before seen in this blog.

So without further ado …..

No, wait!  There needs to be a bit more ado, before I start. Actually, the images in this post are photos I took today — 2/2/14 — of stuff from last year’s party — on 2/2/13 — which I’ve saved. Does that make sense? If it doesn’t, you’ll just have to figure things out, as best you can.  I’m moving ahead to show you these cool images.  Why?  Because it’s my birthday!

Without further ado ….

Random Stuff From

Ann’s 60th Birthday Party

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Look familiar?  I have a similar sign in my office (which showed up in this post).  The above was hanging on the front door to our place, welcoming guests to the party.

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These were the instructions for the magic wands that were ready and waiting, if people wanted to use them.  If you want to see one of these wands (which can be glitchy and flukey at times, but which work well enough)2, check out this post.

.

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I had several of these big sticky posters up on the walls, with headings, which people could write on. One thing I’m noticing, right now, about the list on the right: Iceland showed up! (Many months before I celebrated Iceland showing up in this blog).

Here are some more lists, from that Groundhog Day, last year:

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Other lists included Favorite Movie, Favorite Song, and this one:

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I am amazed to see Stop Signs appearing, above, since those octagonal beauties have made it to several blog posts, also  (including this and this one).

One more list from last year, in response to the question “What’s a really helpful lesson you’ve learned in your life?”

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While I always like to end with kindness, I’ll show you a couple more images, including this one:

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My friends Janet and Ray (who have showed up here) were at the party, with their son Carter. Carter asked me a very good question regarding a button on one of the walls: “What’s that for?” I told Carter I had no idea, and then I told him the Steven Wright line, which he then kindly wrote on a post-it note, for all to see.

The last image I want to show, in today’s birthday post, also relates to Janet AND to what’s missing from this post, for me.

Let me explain. Last week, when I decided I wanted to show images from my 60th party in my birthday post today, I knew I wanted to show a wonderful haiku somebody had written for me.  I found that haiku last week, and put it aside, for safe keeping.

So, of course, I can’t find it now. Typical. However, when I was looking for that haiku, I found something else.

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That, dear readers, is the last page of something I couldn’t locate last month, when writing a post called What Other People Say, Part 2 (which was in honor of Janet’s birthday). Here’s a quote from that post:

I just took a break, for a few seconds, to look for the incredible piece that Janet put together for my 60th birthday. This piece not only celebrated me, hilariously, but also included smart commentary on all the decades I’ve lived through.  During the party, I placed it in a location of honor, so that all my other guests could see it. And they loved it.

I said more about that, in that December blog post, but I am going to end that quote there. Actually, I’m not going to do anything else, from now on today, except relax and have fun.

Guess why?

Thanks to all my friends, here, there, and everywhere and …. that’s it!3

1. I don’t know the credits for the photo of this cute groundhog, since I found it and used it a year ago.  So … sue me!

2. Sort of like WordPress, sometimes.

3. I’m not quite done, actually. I want to thank you, for being my guest here, today.

Categories: humor, inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , | 70 Comments

Day 397: Everybody loves you

Posted on February 1, 2014 by Ann Koplow

I am going to start this post with a quote from my boyfriend, Michael.  Actually, I am going to start this post by retiring Michael’s title of “boyfriend,” in honor of my feisty friend Sarah, who used to work with me and who gave me a hard time every time I used that term.

What are you two,  fifteen years old?

Sarah would say.  And since I am about to turn sixty-one years young1 tomorrow, maybe it’s time to heed Sarah’s advice, and stop using the term “boyfriend.”

But how else should I refer to Michael?  Here are some possibilities:

Partner

Old man

Main squeeze

Significant other

None of those sound great to me, for various reasons. I’m not sure why “boyfriend” has always seemed like the best choice, so far. Perhaps, the terms we hear when we are young are difficult to shake.

A logical replacement for “boyfriend” would be …. “manfriend.” But nobody says that. If I did use that term, that would be too distracting.  That would derail people from any story I wanted to tell about Michael.

Like now.

One more thing, before I get back on track. I supposed I could just refer to Michael by name, with no identifying title.  That always seems self-centered and unhelpful, though. Why should I expect anybody to remember the name of my boyfriend/partner/old man/main squeeze/significant other/manfriend … without a helpful hint? Or remember my name, for that matter?

Maybe people should remember, though!  Maybe we’re important enough to be remembered, without any identifying information, dammit!

Anyway, let me start this post over.

This post is about a phrase that Michael says to me, quite often. It’s kind of a joke, a running gag, between us.

Picture this, if you will. I come home from work, walk up the stairs, and enter through the back door, into the kitchen.  I am often pretty tired, and I immediately sit down at the same table where I write this blog.

Let me set the scene, with a photo of that table:

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That’s not a great photo, actually, to give you an accurate picture, since there are other distracting elements in that shot. I’ll check my photo stash and see if I can do a better job …

…. Nope.  Can’t find a better photo, right now.

I suppose I could take a new photo of the table, but the light isn’t correct (it’s the wrong time of day). Also, I’d have to find my friggin’ phone to take it.

Maybe, just maybe, setting the scene accurately isn’t quite as important as I sometimes think. In any case, back to the story.

So, after I return home from work, I sit down at the table where I write this blog. Michael is usually in the kitchen, making dinner. If not, he comes into the kitchen. He greets me:

How was your day, babe?

or words to that effect.   I then tell him what’s foremost on my mind from my day at work (of course, leaving out any details as dictated by confidentiality). When I’m finished talking, Michael will usually respond, with our running gag, like so:

Everybody loves you, Ann.

And I smile. Or laugh. It never gets old.

Why?

Well, even though Michael has said this many, many times, there’s always some element of surprise.

I am rarely — if ever — feeling universally lovable, as I’m telling my work-a-day stories.   I’m sharing what has lingered from the day and — as I’ve often written about here — the negative sticks. So, my stories are often tinged with regret, worry, concern, or at least a wish to learn from mistakes I’ve made.

So Michael’s response, no matter how often I’ve heard it, surprises me, on some level. And, as many Humor Experts 2 have opined:  When we laugh, it’s an expression of the unexpected.

Sometimes, when I return home after work, I’m feeling great —  very much in touch with pride in my work and with my gratitude for doing work I value and enjoy.  In those cases, when Michael says

Everybody loves, you, Ann

my laugh expresses joy (or celebration, which I wrote about recently).

And, no matter how I’m feeling after work, I can always appreciate the absurd in Michael’s response. No matter how worthy and lovable we are, no matter how much I may yearn for Michael’s statement to be true … not everybody is going to love us.  It’s impossible.

And that’s okay.  We can still survive, thrive, and keep on going.

Okay! I’ve got to end this post, because I’ve got an appointment with Mia 3, very soon.

Thanks to Sarah, Michael, Mia, my old4 student Chris Delyani (whose book is in the photo above), everybody I love, people who love me, and everybody who has ever loved or been loved by anybody.  And, more thanks to you, for visiting and reading today.

  1. I hear Mel Brooks‘s voice in my head as I say this, thanks to his 2000 Year Old Man albums. Thanks, Mel!

  2. Despite any expectations on your part, there are no helpful details about humor experts in this footnote.  (This gag never gets old for me, either.)

  3. Mia is the woman who cuts my hair.  Just as I have trouble finding a good title for Michael, I never know what to call Mia, either. My hairdresser?  No, that’s my mother’s term.  My stylist?  Too pretentious and not accurate, since I don’t experience myself as being “styled” in any way.  Also, I feel uncomfortable using the possessive term “my” about people in my life.  Feel free to make suggestions about what I might call Mia (or Michael, too, I suppose).

  4. I never know what word to use in this situation, either, since “old” has such negative connotations. Chris isn’t old; I just met him a long time ago, when I was teaching a class at Boston University. Feel free to make suggestions about what word to use here, also.

Categories: humor, inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 65 Comments

Day 395: Confetti Confessions

Posted on January 30, 2014 by Ann Koplow

I confess. I think about confetti a lot.

So it’s not surprising that confetti has shown up in this blog before, in Day 321: The gift of mortality:

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in  Day 307: Beautiful, healing Boston:

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and, in Day 185: Airing things out:

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Let’s find a definition of confetti, shall we? From Oxford Dictionaries:

confetti

Syllabification: con·fet·ti

NOUN

small pieces of colored paper thrown during a celebration such as a wedding.

Origin

early 19th century (originally denoting the real or imitation sweets thrown during Italian carnivals): from Italian, literally ‘sweets’, from Latin confectum ‘something prepared’, neuter past participle of conficere ‘put together’ (see confect).

Spell confetti with one f and a double t: it is an Italian word.

So now that we know what confetti is, where it came from, and how to spell it, I’m going to return to this, which is still up in the air:

Why do I think about confetti so much?

Lots of reasons, including:

  • It’s colorful, and I love colorful things2:

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Colorful-Christmas-Lights

tumbled-stones

a-beautiful-butterfly-flowers-2652389-480-500

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  • In my work, I notice that people don’t celebrate the positive very much. As a matter of fact, a big part of my job is inviting people to celebrate more. Sometimes we get really radical, and consider the equal time rule — giving celebration the same amount of time given to celebration’s opposite: fear, anxiety, regret, depression, or whatever the person’s experience of anti-celebration. (Well, equal time is fair, isn’t it?) (Even if that’s so difficult to do.)
  • Sometimes I like to come up with ideas for new products, and one I’ve been tossing up in the air for several years is ….NEAT CONFETTI.  Here’s the pitch: I often want to throw confetti in my office, to celebrate progress, a triumph, anything good. But, confetti is messy.  I’d have to clean it up.  So, I can envision some sort of product where confetti explodes out of a box, but is attached to strings, so you can easily reel it back in.

Wouldn’t that be SWEET?

Okay, I think I’ve put together enough for this post.  It’s time to prepare for its conclusion.

So, what have I forgotten?

A NEW image, never before seen in this blog, perhaps?

Here’s something I put up on my white board, earlier this week:

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Here’s what I want to point out, about that image:

  1. Somebody, who was in the same place that had been causing anxiety, depression, etc. for months, was feeling a lot better that day.
  2. While we were able to point to logical explanations for this improvement, this person still found this  mysterious and confusing.
  3. This person, almost immediately after acknowledging the improvement in mood and reduction in symptoms, started listing Reasons Not To Celebrate.
  4. I wished I had some Neat Confetti to throw, that day.

Okay!  Time to clean up, before I leave for work today. Perhaps I should protect what’s mine, in this post:

©  All of these ideas belong to me, Ann Koplow. Although, wait, that doesn’t feel right, since I’ve been inspired by so many people throughout my life. Nevertheless,  if you’re going to use my ideas, try to give me credit, if possible. Although, honestly, sometimes I’m fine with people just sharing whatever-the-hell I’m writing about here, if they think it will do some good.  But, please, don’t try to make money pretending that my ideas are yours, okay?  I especially don’t want to see any of you showing up on “Shark Tank,” pitching NEAT CONFETTI.  That would really suck, and seriously piss me off. Also, some of these photos are mine and some of them aren’t. Do I need to be more specific?  All right, all right! The first two and the last two photos are mine. AND, that equal time rule, in the list of antidotes?  I totally made that up.

Wow. That had quite the mix of feelings and thoughts there, didn’t it?  Plus, I broke several rules of copyright-ing, I believe.  Perhaps I should just thank people, grab something to eat, and call it a morning.

Many thanks to people who try their best to celebrate whenever and however they can, and thanks to you — Yay! — for visiting today.

  1.  I’ve already given credit for this Photo that is Not Mine, in that previous post, so I believe that I’ve protected myself, covered my ass, etc. well enough, so I DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING ELSE.   Yay!!

  2.  These images have all appeared in previous posts, but I’m not going to link to those earlier posts of mine, because my work here is done, and … it’s good enough. Yay!!!

Categories: humor, inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Day 391: What is the opposite of dreadful?

Posted on January 26, 2014 by Ann Koplow

I chose the title of today’s post because:

  1. It’s a question, and I endorse the Socratic method (which is just a smart-sounding way of saying that I like a style of learning and teaching that involves questions and answers 1 ).
  2. I sometimes enjoy intentionally misleading people for a brief time, before explaining things. In this case, I’m guessing that my readers are thinking that this post is about something that it actually is NOT about. (At least, not intentionally.)

(pause, allowing you to think about all THAT)

Anyway, so what IS this post about?  What else do I want to say about the title?

The inspiration for this post was my waking up this morning, realizing that my trip to Panama is about two weeks away, and …

(drum roll)

… noticing that I am not filled with dread.

Right now, I am carefully checking my dread level, to see how much dread there actually is. I’m imagining a gauge, like this:

gas-gauge2

DREAD

And …. I’ve got nothing.

So, while the Dread Gauge above, would indicate being full of dread, or — perhaps — “dreadful”, what’s the word for being the opposite of that, which is what I am, right now?

In other words, would this gauge …..

Image2

be a pictorial representation of being “dreadless”?

Well, my dear readers, you’re probably noticing that I’m playing around with words right now.  And why? Is this avoidance, of something important?

And what does it mean that I want to keep playing with that word “dreadless”? Well, it could just be a reflection of the fact that I made that word up, so I’m naturally imagining different definitions, like this:

(Note: The above video is thanks to Boost467 and contains language meant for “mature audiences.”)

Well, I’m not sure if I’m avoiding something. Maybe I’m just having fun.   But I do know that I DID want to go other places, in this post, including:

  1. I wanted to give myself credit for making progress. That is, I was feeling more dread during the two weeks prior to my last trip, to London. (Check out these posts here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here,  here, here, here, here, here, here, and here — written during that two-week period.) (In some of those posts, the dread is more obvious than others. But it’s there. I know.)
  2. I wanted to think about what’s been helping, in making me dreadless, today.

What’s different about my upcoming trip? A few things I can think of, including:

  • This time, I’m traveling with another adult, who is helping with the planning.
  • Since my last trip, I have completed my last will and testament.
  • For whatever reasons, I am more at peace with my own mortality.

What else has been helping me be dreadless?  I’m not sure, but my best guess is the big two, according to Sigmund Freud: 3

  1. Work.
  2. Love.

Okay!  This post is now the opposite of endless.

Thanks to Sigmund Freud, Busta Rhymes, those who dread flying, people who dread death, and — of course! — to you, for reading today.

  1.  Here’s a video (posted by dieterwanke) of one of my favorite tunes — “Question and Answer” by Pat Metheny, whom I’ve written about, here, here, here, here, and here. It doesn’t include the complete performance, but I’m choosing this because it also features Michael Brecker, one of my favorite sax players, may he rest in peace.

  1. Yes, this is another number 1. Yes, I know I already had a footnote #1, above. However,  no matter how I try to fix this, WordPress insists on re-starting the footnote count. And yes, I’ve tried EVERYTHING to fix this (although, as George Carlin might say, “apparently not”).  So, for now, I’m going along with this WordPress glitch. What did I originally want to say in this footnote?  Two things: (1) I’m still thinking of car-related metaphors a lot. Am I driving too much? (2) I found that image here.

  2.  I found that image here, at a place for free stock images. Good to know.

  3. Perhaps you thought this footnote would include data supporting this. It doesn’t. It’s dataless.

Categories: humor, inspiration, personal growth | Tags: , , , , | 26 Comments

Day 385: Wicked Pisser

Posted on January 20, 2014 by Ann Koplow

Note: This blog post was inspired by recent, actual events, including my watching last night’s season premiere1 of “Sherlock” with my son.

Soon after waking this morning, I said to my partner of three years, “I’ve got it.  I know what today’s post title will be.”

Wicked pisser.

It was obvious, and all too clear.  Why hadn’t I realized it before? After briefly cursing myself for my slowness, I made haste to prepare for today’s post.

“The blog’s afoot, Michael!” I cried, as I ran — my feet descending the stairs clad in but one purple sock — to retrieve my cell phone.

Carefully re-ascending, I took a photo of the crime scene:

photo (73)

Of course, the authorities,  when arriving upon the scene soon after the deed was discovered last night, had completely bungled the investigation, removing critical evidence.  Nevertheless, I believed this photo would help me and my Blogging Street Irregulars put the pieces together.

Next, after hastily rearranging the crime scene to its usual morning appearance, I surreptitiously took a photo of the first suspect:

Image

I reviewed the evidence against this creature. Uppermost of all the thoughts flashing through my mind were these:

  1. His returning to the scene of the crime.
  2. The look on his face, which any keen observer might deduce as indicative of guilt (although I’ve learned, through many years of  investigations, that facial expressions can be deceiving).
  3. His motives, which could include revenge for being removed, relatively recently, from his previous home — a local shelter of good repute — from which he was placed, without his consent, in an unfamiliar domicile to cohabit with other creatures, also not of his choosing.

Which reminded me of the other obvious suspect:

Image

Again, the case against this graceful animal ran through my head:

  1. Previous commitments of the crime in question, although never at that particular location.

That was all I could come up with, in the heat of the moment.  I wondered: Was my affection for this creature interfering in my dispassionate review of the evidence?

Of course not. Affection never sways my mind from the facts. Nevertheless, I could proceed no further with the investigation.

At the time of this writing, the results are inconclusive. I’m hoping, with future observation, to solve the crime. But, as we know, some mysteries are never solved2, even when we’ve narrowed the list of suspects.

Before I end this blog post, I would like to tell my readers this: I had other reasons for naming today’s post, precisely.

For example, “Wicked Pisser” —  at the geographical location of the crime scene — can be the highest possible praise. In the local vernacular, it means Top Notch. Amazing. The Best.

My plan, over this long weekend, was to write a post about some high praise I’ve received, at different points in my life.

However, events can interfere with intentions. One must go with the flow.

And, sometimes, it’s good to keep your audience guessing.

Thanks to all the Sherlock Holmeses I’ve encountered, since age 10. Who else to thank? Elementary, my dear reader. You, for visiting today.

  1. In the United States.

  2. For example, see my blog post from months past — Unsolved Mysteries — set in Edinburgh, Scotland.

A final, unnumbered footnote: See the comment section, below, for postulations about a mysterious “<   p>” which appeared, at some point, in this post.

One more thing that feels missing, to me, from this post. Some background music:

Categories: humor, Nostalgia, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 58 Comments

Day 383: Waking up around 3:30

Posted on January 18, 2014 by Ann Koplow

On Day 40, when I was visiting an old friend in South Carolina, I wrote a post titled “I’ve been waking up around 3:30 throughout this vacation.”

Last week, I visited a different old friend (whom I hadn’t seen in several decades), and he told me this: He often wakes up in the middle of the night around the time of his father’s death.

Last night, I woke up around 3:30, again.

I wonder what the time of my mother’s death was?  I know it was during the middle of the night.

There are many possible explanations for my waking up at 3:30, last night:

  1. I ate some food for dinner, which was very delicious the first time I tasted it, but less delicious the second time.
  2. I might have sleep apnea.  For those of you reading this who think I should have a sleep study done as soon as possible, I’M WORKING ON IT, OKAY?
  3. My subconscious had lots of ideas about my next blog post.
  4. Lots of people, including me, seem to have forgotten (or never learned) how to sleep, which is pretty incredible, when you think about it, since sleeping should be natural for human beings, much like — say — breathing and eating.
  5. Oh.

I’m sure there were lots more reasons why I might have woken up last night around 3:30, including the fact that it’s Full Moon Time.  Lots of smart people I know remark on the importance of the full moon, and how it affects us.

When I looked out into the Wide Wide Internet last night and this morning, I saw many people sharing photos of the moon, including:

image46

(thanks to Mark Bialczak)

moon

(thanks to Poesy plus Polemics, plus Anonymously Uncool from flickr.com)

And here’s one (plus a poem I especially appreciated), from Fool’s Blog  …

20140118-084428

… which reminds me of the one I took, full of wonder, last night:

IMG_2575

So even though the current full moon is the smallest of 2014:

Image

(left to right, front row:  Current “Minimoon”; “Super Moon” expected 8/10/14) 1

…. it still has a big effect. And that effect may have included my waking up around 3:30, last night.

Thanks to friends old and new, my mother, my fellow bloggers, moon-y people everywhere, and to you — of course! — for showing up today.

  1.  My main reasons for creating this footnote were (a) to let you know that I blogged, here, about some past pursuits of Super Moons  and (b) to continue my practice doing footnotes here at WordPress. However, I also have to comment on that photo. It’s doctored, people! I mean, look at it!  When have you ever seen two moons in one photograph? Also, look at the caption.  The moon on the right IS FROM THE FUTURE. Oh, and thanks to The Mother Nature Network.
Categories: humor, inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 52 Comments

Day 380: S-words (Secundo)

Posted on January 15, 2014 by Ann Koplow

Several days ago, I wrote a post, called “S-words.”  I am surmising, this second, that it might be helpful to write a sequel to that.  Shall we start?

1.  Secundo.

That word spontaneously showed up in my mind, when I was shaping the title of this post. I speculated that “Secundo” might be spot-on, even though I wasn’t sure it was really a word. I searched Google and ….

secundo
Web definitions
The secondary part of a duet
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/secundo

Sweet.

2. Sleep.

Like scores of people I see, I struggle with sleep, sometimes, and I’ve spoken about that before. WordPress shows the word “sleep” in seven of my post titles, so far. (Should you wish to survey that series: first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh.)

Here’s some stuff I  want to say about sleep:

  • On the night before I see somebody I’m excited to see, I  usually have trouble sleeping. Specifically, I’m seeing two  people, tomorrow, whom I haven’t seen for a s***-load of years.  One person I know from school; the second person is somebody I met from the first psychotherapy group I ever attended. So, the fact that I’m seeing these two old friends, both on the same day … is that synchronicity? Or simply coincidence? Whatever we call it, it’s screwing up my sleep.
  • I’m going to stop this list, so I can return to slumber-land.

Before I slide black into slumber, however, there are some loose strings I’d like to sew up, from some previous posts. In yesterday’s post, I spoke about losing gloves, and how I was going to search for one of these at work.

Image

Success!

Secondly,  readers may have noticed my series of  attempts to simplify my system for doing footnotes here at WordPress, including my search for a surprisingly elusive solution: superscripts.

I’ve struggled to find The Superscript Solution, for several weeks. Actually, simply ‘splaining what a superscript is has been a struggle, since I haven’t been able to show you one, so far.

Yesterday, WordPress Support sent me an email, with a solution.

Should I attempt it?1

She shoots, she scores!

Thanks to sleepers, insomniacs, and, especially, WordPress Support. And, a special shout out to you, for reading tonight, today, or whenever.

  1.  Some people say that when you can’t sleep, you should spend some time doing something soothing before attempting to go back to sleep. Some people might say that doing something new, like using a superscript for the first time2 in a blog post, might interfere with going back to sleep. What’s been your experience?
  2. The second time was easier. I also want to let people know that I will share my new wisdom, soon. 3
  3. Here’s the secret formula:  <sup>3</sup>   which needs to be inserted on the “text” format page.
Categories: humor, inspiration, personal growth | Tags: , , , , | 21 Comments

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