IMPORTANT NOTE: If you are in therapy with me (or are considering being in individual or group therapy with me), please have a conversation with me about this blog before you read further.
ABOUT ME
When asked what I do for a living, I sometimes say I’m a clinical social worker, sometimes I say I’m a psychotherapist. Whatever title I use, I work with people at a major teaching hospital, and I specialize in group therapy.
For quite a while, I’ve been thinking of writing a book that combines personal memories with the work I love to do, and I actually started writing something in August, 2012. Working titles for that book include “AFOG: Another F***ing Opportunity for Growth”, “How To Be The Hero Of Your Own Story” and “Doing More of What Works (and Less of What Doesn’t Work) For You.”
As you can see, I sometimes have trouble making decisions. Or, to look at this another — perhaps less judgmental way — I’m an Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiver, according to the Myers-Briggs test (which I recommend as one way to investigate how your and other people’s “styles” interact). To translate that into English, that just means that (1) I feel more energized being around people, (2) I’m interested in possibilities and patterns, (3) I tend to go with my “gut”, and (4) I sometimes have trouble making decisions.
Something else about me: I am the owner of a very unusual heart — I have congenitally corrected transposition of the great vessels, which is super rare. This wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult; however, I was diagnosed at birth as having a complete heart block. Because of my heart, I spent a lot of time in the hospital when I was a kid. Plus, I am (probably) the second longest surviving person in the world with a cardiac pacemaker.
This medical part of my story has had a profound impact on me, of course. However, it’s a part of my life which — up until I started writing this blog — I was pretty secretive about (at least, beyond close friends and family). Not these years, though!
ABOUT THIS BLOG
This blog is part of my creative process.
It’s also a way to work on my growing acceptance and appreciation of life, and to share and develop some of the wisdom I’ve been slowly accumulating. My original commitment was to start on January 1, 2013 and to blog once daily for a year. Since blogging has helped me so much, I’ve extended that commitment through 2014 and beyond!
This blog is also another way for me to take risks, to venture out into the world in new ways, and to embrace and express all my different human feelings — joy, fear, sadness, anger, the whole Emotional Enchilada. I plan to engage in my well-developed sense of play, and approach some painful material, also.
So this blog does a lot for me!
ABOUT THE TITLE OF THIS BLOG
The original title — The Year of Living Non-Judgmentally — came to me in December 2012, out of the blue, and I knew I wanted to write a blog with that title (even though I had never written a blog before). Then, on January 1, 2014, after the first year was over, I added the “s” (to cover it all).
I wonder if readers might misunderstand the intent of this blog, because of the title. By no means do I expect that I (or anybody else) will attain a perfect state of Non-Judgment, no matter what the year.
As I say in my first post in this blog, judgment is something that I invite myself and my clients to let go of, as much as possible. So this blog is, also, my commitment to Walk that Walk and to Talk that Talk — to strive, day by day, for Years of Living Non-Judgmentally (the best that I can).
Being Non-Judgmental is an ideal beyond any human’s grasp. It’s like the ideal of being perfectly in the moment — another (I believe, at this point) unattainable ideal. As I discuss with clients, human minds aren’t built to stay in the moment or to be non-judgmental. Instead, our minds naturally veer off — into the past and the future, and into judgment of ourselves (and whatever else we encounter). The best we can do is to notice these human meanderings of our minds, and gently re-focus (to the moment and to letting go of judgment) over and over again.
I have to say that I’m really excited about this journey, and I’m honored that you are joining me right now — and for any additional part of it that you choose.
NOTE: Several of the posts in this blog contain references to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Narrative Therapy, and other therapeutic techniques I use when working with people. On 2/10/13, I started a second blog here, specifically for posting reference materials about these therapy techniques. (For example, see here for a handout containing definitions of all 13 Cognitive Distortions discussed in this blog.)
ANOTHER NOTE: As of January 20, 2014, I am finally stating my preference regarding WordPress Awards. If it pleases you to nominate me for one, it also pleases me to express sincere gratitude for the nomination (but that’s all I will do in return).
Hello,
I am glad that you followed my blog, Dreams to Reality. Please visit again , your opinion and comments are valuable for me.
May Allah bless you and your loved ones. amen
Thank you so much for the comment, the invitation, and the blessing.
Pleasure is all mine 🙂
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Well there you go. I was perfectly healthy most of my life until I got cancer. It wasn’t all bad because I got a whole book out of it. Got rid of cancer to find out I have an extremely rare (as in one in a million) lung disease. Treatable, incurable, progressive; prognosis not rosy. Still, maybe I’ll get another book out of it, so, you know, gotta look at the bright side.
Yes, we gotta look at the bright side, except for when we can’t, but then we can again. It brightens me up, very much, that you and I have met here.
Dear Jill, one of the most difficult parts of life are the long storms. Life does have it’s detours and many are long winding paths without explanation. Please know you are not alone. MicheleElys
I just found this great comment from you, MicheleElys! I hope you are doing well these days…
Hi dear, I have nominated you for the Liebster Award, Do check here http://thereadingbud.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/liebster-award/
If you are interested, do participate.. 🙂
I am very interested in your comment, your regard, and your thoughtfulness. And I am also grateful for all those things. At the same time, I don’t participate in the awards here, at this point in my blogging. But I thank you, most sincerely, and I will check out the other bloggers you have also honored.
I totally understand 🙂
No issues. Awards are just a way to show how much I like your blog 😀
Thanks for replying 🙂
I have Nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award and the Sunshine Award- http://fozzyfitness.wordpress.com/2014/06/05/the-versitile-blogger-and-sunshine-awards/
You do not have to accept the award pass it forward in the knowledge that you were nominated for your Support and Friendship
Thank you so much! I am honored.
You are alive and well in my dream profession 😀
I am so glad that you are visiting and commenting! That is like a dream, for me.
Thank YOU for being a risk-taker and a rule-breaker.
Thank you for telling my story that way. I love it!
What do you mean?
I mean, I liked what you saw in me and how you expressed it. And thanks for asking for clarification, Matthew.
You?
Me? You?
The story about Conan O’Brien?
Now I am really confused. However, I am glad to see you — and now, Conan O’Brien — on my “About” page.
You too! 🙂 lol … I thought you were saying you were Conan O’Brien…
http://oldkingcurry.wordpress.com/2014/06/15/my-encounter-with-conan-obrien/
I did really enjoy that post of yours, Matthew. I am not Conan O’Brien nor have I ever claimed to be. But it might be fun to be him, for a day!
lol, I see. I was just confused. Nice to meet you, Ann!
Back at you, fellow risk-taker and rule-breaker!
Hi Ann-
Thanks for visiting my blog. I’m finally making my way over.
PeAce! 🙂
Love your blog, RoSy; love this comment.
Walk that Walk and Talk that Talk? Sounds blogging enough (blogtalk-blogwalk). 🙂
Thanks for this talking-walking-blogging comment. And welcome.
Hi Ann. Nice to meet you and know. you have had wonderful brave journey in your childhood. Me too having big time problems with decision making and faith. so now I think this is the place to come and read stories. Thank you Ann for following Keep Picturing and liking my work. See you soon. Have a nice Sunday…:)
Thank you for this visit and comment. I am glad to get to know you better and I look forward to future readings. All the best to you!
Thank you for visiting my blog. Glad to find my way here. I have gained a lot from looking a little deeper into my own illness. I look forward to reading more.
Laurie
Hi Laurie,
I apologize for taking so long to respond back to your kind and soulful comment. Sometimes I lose track of things here. I look forward to future readings, and thanks so much.
All the best,
Ann
No worries. I find things happen in the right timing. ♡ It was nice to get your note today. I am taking a little break from writing on my original blog but do post in my privatecone just a sentence or so. If you would like to visit there sometime just send me an email. Lauriesnotes at yahoo. I went on this inner journey to heal from an eating disorder which I did and I found living in the present to be so important. I am working on printing a book of poems and insights from my journey. Much love ! Laurie
I appreciate, Laurie, all the gifts you gave me in this reply. I am so glad to hear about your healing, self-care, courage, and creativity. Much love back at you.
♡
I’ve nominated your blog for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award! You can check it out here: http://nerdinthebrain.com/2014/07/06/the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/
😀
This nomination means a great deal to me, especially coming from you. I don’t do awards, but I definitely do gratitude! Thank you.
No problem with the not-doing-awards thing! I didn’t for a long time either, so I totally understand. 🙂 Just bask in the glory of being a Very Inspiring Blogger. 😀
I am basking in your understanding and appreciation. It feels great!
Hi Ann – Thanks so much for following my blog and “liking” my poems. I’m intrigued by your story, as well as how you arrived at the title for your blog. My process was somewhat similar – health scare, waking up with a particular word on the tip of my tongue. I’m really looking forward to exploring you r blog further.
Now I am even more intrigued with you and what you have to tell me in your writings. I look forward to many future visits.
I love “your” glasses! I look forward to reading lots more from you.
I love seeing this comment! I look forward to reading lots more from you, also.
Thank you for your comment on my blog. I love the premise of your blog and look forward to reading more of your posts – I think people’s tendency towards judgement can be one of the most destructive aspects of relationships and being aware of this is so important if you are to become more mindful. Really glad I found your blog 🙂
I am really glad we found each other other, and I look forward to future encounters. Thanks so much for this lovely comment!
Hey! Just wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award! You have a great blog that inspirational to me and others! Thank you for your posts! Here’s the link to the post if you’d like to check it out! http://fashiondee.com/2014/07/08/july-8/
Wow! Thanks so much for the recognition and the kind words. They mean a lot to me. I am not doing the Award Thing these days, but I am very grateful and touched.
No problem! I love your blog! Great thought-provoking content 🙂
Thank you so much for stopping by my blog, liking some posts, and liking my work enough to follow my blog! I’m glad to have found you–I can’t wait to read more from you! Thank you again!!
The feeling is very mutual, on all counts!
ENFP! I’m an INFJ. 🙂 I think you’ve got a great concept here — I can’t wait to read more!
Michael, my boyfriend, is an INFJ. That is a very special and unusual type, I hear. I am honored that you are visiting and commenting!
‘AFOG’
Brilliant – run with that.
Hariod. <3
Okay, Hariod! Thanks for the brilliant and lovely input.
So I guess for me that’ll mean there’s AFBTB from Amazon.
Is that what it means?
Just playing around with acronyms commencing ‘AF’ Ann; all meant in good heart. <3
Great knowing you. Am happy that someone else walks away with the distinction that you coveted. Allow me to share this post with you:
http://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2014/06/13/my-dear-heart/
Thanks for helping us know you better, also.
Thank you for the follow and for liking my blog.
Whao, loved reading your blog. AFOG is a great title, I’d run with that, very catchy! I immediately thought of Roald Dahl’s BFG.
Thank you! Wonderful to see you here. You know, once I started this blog, I sort of lost track of the book. You’re not the only one who has mentioned it recently, so it’s probably time forme to revisit AFOG. And additional thanks, for bringing along Mr. Dahl and the Big Friendly Giant.
Thanks for the follow. 🙂
You are welcome. Good to see you here.
Just wanted to say that I’m glad you found my blog, and thus enabled me to find yours! And also, I saw where you commented on my latest post, and I wanted to thank you for stopping by, but while I can see that you commented in my notifications, the comment itself is not showing up anywhere on the post itself. (Sigh.) So, thanks for your comment, and I look forward to reading more from you!
I hate when that happens. Although I AM seeing my comment in your post now, (I think). I very much enjoy your thoughts and your style and look forward to future meet-ups. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting !
Glad your heart is functioning so well! I have CHF and pump at about 65%. Thanks for following my website!
Thank you for this thoughtful comment. I am so glad you commented on my post at toemail.wordpress.com, and I look forward to our learning more from each other.
Hi Ann, I appreciate your visit to my blog and the follow.
I also find your blog fascinating, looking forward to reading more of your writings.
Best wishes.
Hope: http://storieswithoutborder.wordpress.com/
I am very glad, Hope! Thanks for your visit and your kind words. I look forward to reading more of your writings, also.
The pleasure is mine.
Happy writing!
Hi Ann. it sounds like you had to overcome a lot and have succeded.This is the best training a psychotherapist can have.
Thank you for following my blog, which shows that you are indeed a compassionate person <3
I look forward to reading more about your life experiences.
Thank you so much for your blog, for following me, and for this wonderful comment. I look forward to future readings, also.
The idea of non-judgmental and observing mind movement into different things are very interesting. Thank you for visiting my blog as well.
You are most welcome. I am honored by your visit and comment.
I find what you have written fascinating. You grabbed me with the “non-judgmental” part, because I have been striving to reach that place. But when I read that you have transposition of the great vessels, I felt myself gasp – that was the heart defect my son, Jason had. I am in awe of you. Thank you for visiting my blog and I’ll look forward to reading more of yours.
I look forward to future readings, too, Judy. My guess is as I learn more about you, I will feel awe, also.
Thanks, Ann. I wrote something today that was special. Today is the date of my son’s death. I am very grateful for my healing and the music that guides me. Glad I could share.
I am so sorry about the death of your precious son, Judy. I read your writings and am honored to have met you today.
Judy, I also wanted to let you know that your beautiful Jason had a different congenital cardiac condition from me. He had transposition of the great vessels; I have congenitally corrected transposition — my ventricles are transposed in addition to the arteries, which means the blood ends up in the right places. Jason’s congenital condition was much more serious. I am so sorry you lost him.
I am very inspired by how you have dealt with and are continuing to deal with this great loss. All my best to you.
Thank you, Ann. Even with Transposition there are so many unique varieties. I’m glad that yours was corrected somehow. I appreciate your sharing with me and taking the time to write. I just came back from singing a song in his memory. And if you are interested in hearing any of my music, I will gladly mail you a CD. Just email me your address at: judy@judyunger.com.
No worries if you don’t have time for that. Just an offer because I love to share! Have a good night. 🙂
Judy, I am touched by your thoughtfulness and by the heart, soul, and kindness you show. I will send you my address; I would be honored to receive your CD.
Welp… I’m new here to the WP community so I’m comments stalking blogs I already follow to find new blogs to follow… that’s how I found you… stalking That Just Happened Blog.
I’m looking forward to seeing you in my reader!
Love this kind of stalking, Moderate Mama! I look forward to future stalks and encounters.
Hmmm. Well I may have to have a pacemaker one day – step 1 is RFA. Still trying to decide. I also do some coaching so I may get quite a few insights here. 🙂
I greatly look forward to swapping insights with you, Andrew. I’m so glad you found your way here (and I’m loving your blog, too).
Thank you for following my blog. Small world! You probably work at a hospital where one of my parents was hospitalized in the last few years of their lives. Between the two of them, they were patients at Brigham and Women’s, Faulkner, possibly Mass General, and McLean.
Thank you for visiting and commenting. It IS a small world and I’m so glad we’ve encountered each other here.
Nice to meet you Ann! You have quite a story to tell! 🙂
Thank you for appreciating my story, Andrew! I look forward to knowing more about yours.
I think you mean Rocky! Haha that made me laugh. 🙂 who is Andrew
Ooops! THAT is a mistake I have been dreading here — using the wrong name. Sorry, Rocky! And many thanks for being so good-natured about that.
I am very glad to know your name and I won’t make THAT mistake again.
Hahaha that’s ok! So funny. Calling a blogger by the wrong name is one of my biggest fears so I get it. Even if you call me the wrong name, it’s totally fine. 🙂
I am quite new to blogging and find this blog very impressive.
Thank you so much! I am finding your blog impressive, too.
You sound like a thoughtful and insightful person. Thanks for following me! How did you come by my page? I am curious.
You are most welcome! I am curious by nature, also, and I’ve noticed that what we see in others often reflects our own qualities. I am following you because you’re a thoughtful and insightful writer. I found you from reading a comment you wrote on another’s blog. Which blog was it? We shall both have to remain curious about that, for now!
Hi Ann,
thanks for stopping by, and thank you for your work in the field of mental health.
I enjoyed browsing here and learning more about you and your adventures, and writing aspirations!
Hi Denise,
Great to see you here. I’m so pleased you stopped to browse and comment. I look forward to future writin’ and readin’.
So sorry I have not had a chance to thank you for the follow on my blog. I am trying to catch up now. Thank you very much for the follow and I am looking forward to reading through yours. The about page was so interesting, can’t wait to read more! Tina
Tina! I apologize for taking this long in finding and acknowledging your visit and comment here. I look forward to future readings and writings. All the best, Ann
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Thanks for reading my blog, for the work that you do, and for your love of fur balls. 🙂
Thanks back at you! And thanks, very much, for the comment.
Thanks for the follow today. Love your eclectic blog posts.
Thanks so much, Marian! I look forward to future readings.
Hi Ann! I have picked you for the next round of The Oddly Specific Gratitude blog. 🙂 If you go here:
https://bikecolleenbrown.wordpress.com/2014/11/18/oddly-specific-gratitude/ it tells you all about it. 🙂
Thank you for including me! I am oddly specifically grateful for that, and I wrote my blog post about that earlier today.
Here’s the link to that post:
https://annkoplow.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/day-640-oddly-specific-gratitude/
WOOT! 🙂 I’ll be heading there as soon as I get my comments caught up Ann. Thank you! 🙂
Your ‘About’ was very inspirational Ann
Thank you so much for following me.
I dropped in to chew through some of your recent posts. After reading your About, I’m even more intrigued.
Cheers!
-TyCobbsTeeth
I am intrigued by this comment and by your blog, and I have a particularly toothy smile right now.
Thank you for stopping by and following Storyteller. — Ray
You’re welcome, Ray. I look forward to sharing stories here.
I very much enjoy your intro…I can relate ☺ Many thanks for following my new blog! Much gratitude & appreciation 💜 here’s to our years of living non-judgementally. Peace & light, Jules
PS i love the first working title best 😉
Thank you for the visit, the peace, the light, and the love, Jules. I look forward to future encounters here.
Hi Ann, nice to meet you. I love your idea for this blog. May we all evolve to being presence itself, and hence being naturally non-judgemental.
Thanks so much for following our blog. I hope you enjoy the stories of our journey, both inner and outer.
Blessings,
Alison
I feel blessed to have encountered you here. Thanks so much for the visit and the comment.
Thank you for stopping by Storyteller. — Ray
You are very welcome, Ray! I look forward to future encounters on WordPress.
Thanks for the follow on thinkdreamdo, Ann. I hope you enjoy the random ramblings you find there. I am looking forward to meandering through your writing. Cheers!
I love random ramblings and meanderings, as you might see, Judy. Thanks for dropping by and commenting!
Interesting to read why you started to write a blog and the purpose of it!
will visit more and thanks for the your follow! 🙂
Many thanks. I look forward to following you, too!
🙂
Great to meet you here – you have a fine and loving blog. I look forward to reading more of your posts 🙂
I’m so glad we met. It takes one fine and loving person to see those things in somebody else. I look forward to future readings, too.
Thanks for finding and following my blog!
My pleasure! Thanks for visiting here.