IMPORTANT NOTE: If you are in therapy with me (or are considering being in individual or group therapy with me), please have a conversation with me about this blog before you read further.
ABOUT ME
When asked what I do for a living, I sometimes say I’m a clinical social worker, sometimes I say I’m a psychotherapist. Whatever title I use, I work with people at a major teaching hospital, and I specialize in group therapy.
For quite a while, I’ve been thinking of writing a book that combines personal memories with the work I love to do, and I actually started writing something in August, 2012. Working titles for that book include “AFOG: Another F***ing Opportunity for Growth”, “How To Be The Hero Of Your Own Story” and “Doing More of What Works (and Less of What Doesn’t Work) For You.”
As you can see, I sometimes have trouble making decisions. Or, to look at this another — perhaps less judgmental way — I’m an Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiver, according to the Myers-Briggs test (which I recommend as one way to investigate how your and other people’s “styles” interact). To translate that into English, that just means that (1) I feel more energized being around people, (2) I’m interested in possibilities and patterns, (3) I tend to go with my “gut”, and (4) I sometimes have trouble making decisions.
Something else about me: I am the owner of a very unusual heart — I have congenitally corrected transposition of the great vessels, which is super rare. This wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult; however, I was diagnosed at birth as having a complete heart block. Because of my heart, I spent a lot of time in the hospital when I was a kid. Plus, I am (probably) the second longest surviving person in the world with a cardiac pacemaker.
This medical part of my story has had a profound impact on me, of course. However, it’s a part of my life which — up until I started writing this blog — I was pretty secretive about (at least, beyond close friends and family). Not these years, though!
ABOUT THIS BLOG
This blog is part of my creative process.
It’s also a way to work on my growing acceptance and appreciation of life, and to share and develop some of the wisdom I’ve been slowly accumulating. My original commitment was to start on January 1, 2013 and to blog once daily for a year. Since blogging has helped me so much, I’ve extended that commitment through 2014 and beyond!
This blog is also another way for me to take risks, to venture out into the world in new ways, and to embrace and express all my different human feelings — joy, fear, sadness, anger, the whole Emotional Enchilada. I plan to engage in my well-developed sense of play, and approach some painful material, also.
So this blog does a lot for me!
ABOUT THE TITLE OF THIS BLOG
The original title — The Year of Living Non-Judgmentally — came to me in December 2012, out of the blue, and I knew I wanted to write a blog with that title (even though I had never written a blog before). Then, on January 1, 2014, after the first year was over, I added the “s” (to cover it all).
I wonder if readers might misunderstand the intent of this blog, because of the title. By no means do I expect that I (or anybody else) will attain a perfect state of Non-Judgment, no matter what the year.
As I say in my first post in this blog, judgment is something that I invite myself and my clients to let go of, as much as possible. So this blog is, also, my commitment to Walk that Walk and to Talk that Talk — to strive, day by day, for Years of Living Non-Judgmentally (the best that I can).
Being Non-Judgmental is an ideal beyond any human’s grasp. It’s like the ideal of being perfectly in the moment — another (I believe, at this point) unattainable ideal. As I discuss with clients, human minds aren’t built to stay in the moment or to be non-judgmental. Instead, our minds naturally veer off — into the past and the future, and into judgment of ourselves (and whatever else we encounter). The best we can do is to notice these human meanderings of our minds, and gently re-focus (to the moment and to letting go of judgment) over and over again.
I have to say that I’m really excited about this journey, and I’m honored that you are joining me right now — and for any additional part of it that you choose.
NOTE: Several of the posts in this blog contain references to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Narrative Therapy, and other therapeutic techniques I use when working with people. On 2/10/13, I started a second blog here, specifically for posting reference materials about these therapy techniques. (For example, see here for a handout containing definitions of all 13 Cognitive Distortions discussed in this blog.)
ANOTHER NOTE: As of January 20, 2014, I am finally stating my preference regarding WordPress Awards. If it pleases you to nominate me for one, it also pleases me to express sincere gratitude for the nomination (but that’s all I will do in return).
Ann, I clicked here to your About page when you followed me earlier today. I am clicking follow (if I can figure out how to do so via email cause I don’t ever look at my WP reader) and look forward to reading more of your posts.
Thanks, so much, Elyse! I look forward to reading more of your posts, also.
Hello and I too am pleased that our paths have cross , there is a reason for everything in this life and everything in this life has a reason…… that sounds profound , doesn’t it?? 😉 xx
It is profound. Thanks so much for visiting and commenting, and I look forward to future reasons to connect.
Hi Ann, Thanks for visiting and following. I love it when people do that and I find that their home is full of all the things that I really enjoy. I have always been fascinated by anything psychological and am a great fan of Ellis. As an ex intensive care/coronary care nurse I have had a lot to do with pacemakers and am amazed that I am talking to the person who has had the longest history of being paced. Wow. I also like your humour (in your moon post) and am looking forward to getting to know you better. As you can guess I am now also following you. Cheers Irene
Hi, Irene. Now I’m even more thrilled to meet you! Thanks for your kind comments, which helped me feel more secure as I was writing today’s humorous post. Many nurses, in my past, have helped me feel more secure, during crucial times. I look forward to future encounters with you, here in the blogging world. And thanks to you for the follow, too.
Looking forward to it also Ann.
Being non-judgmental. I love it! Thank you for the follow and enthusiastic words. I truly appreciate it.
And thanks for this lovely comment. I look forward to future non-judgmental encounters here!
Definitely! I think we will have great discussions 🙂
Thank you friends for sharing the article is quite interesting, hopefully we all get that true happiness rays began to warm our hearts and make the heart glad, when we can share with each other sincerely. Lots of love from Gede Prama 🙂 🙂
Lots of love back at you, in return.
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Just stopping by to say, ” I Love you, Ann”. Thank you for being you. Love, Amy
Thanks for this love-filled comment, Amy. All of it, returned, to you.
“AFOG”…very nice. My work in progress is called, “There is Only One Family Named The Waltons…the Musings of a Simple, Village Undertaker. Seems to me that both titles were born from similar experiences…..Thanks for following.
Thank you for this kind comment and for the visit. I look forward to sharing future experiences.
hi Ann, You found my blog, and I decided to see WHO this person was trekking across the keyboard to me…I return all visits as a matter of courtesy…sometimes I am successful and sometimes not…it seems not everyone has the link set up properly….in any case..(.did I go off topic just now?) YOU are quite an interesting person and I like your energy! your honesty! your goals! Yeah, I read one of your other entries about WHAT IS THE INTENT of the person—I used it this morning already! (smile) I find it wonderful that you are freely sharing your knowledge and expertize! I appreciate you so much already! What a generous spirit you have! I am going to be 64 tomorrow—I have so much yet to learn! So another BIRTH day for me! I find it a gift from the universe that I found your blog! Thank you for the birthday gift! Blessings on YOU and your day!
Now you’ve given ME a gift on your birthday! Thanks for this comment, and the happiest of birthdays to you. I look forward to the future, and more mutual learnings and growth.
I started following your blog today but just logged in to ses your About and know more about your blog and journey. Well, I like that you wanted to post once daily for a year, that’s nearly one of the objectives of my blog but since you’ve gone farer in your journey, i’d like to ask you about the hardships you’ve been through the last year.. I mean there come days when I feel like I don’t want to blog and that it wouldn’t change anything eventually because i’m not fully dedicated to my blog due to to many problems and demons I have in my life. I just want you to tell me more about what you been through and how it feels when you know you’ve been blogging for a year.
I’m looking forward to start reading all your posts, if you have some favorite ones, then you should recommend. Best wishes on your journey. 🙂
Regards,
Ahmed
Hi Ahmed,
Thanks for following and for this thought-provoking comment. Now that I’ve blogged for over a year, I would say that I’m as surprised as anybody else that I’ve been able to follow through and just do it, every day. I think the secret has been to …. guess what? Let go of judgment about my writing and about what I have to express.
Some of my posts have been long, some short. Some made more sense than others, that’s for sure. But each time I wrote, I learned something.
I’ve never done anything like this before, Ahmed. I never kept a journal. Every time I’ve had to write something, I’ve usually waited until the last minute, for fear that what I wrote wouldn’t be good enough. With this blog, I just got into a routine and put some thoughts together and then took a deep breath and pressed “Publish,” every day, whether or not I felt ready.
That’s really the best advice I can give. Everybody has a different process. Also, as far as recommending favorite posts to you, that’s difficult, also, since I think different people get different things from whatever they read (or from any other experience). I would just say read anything that speaks to you and write things that come from the heart. It’s all good enough, I believe.
Thanks for the gift of your comment, which helped me put into words some thoughts I’ve probably not expressed here before. All the best to you, and I’m glad we’ve encountered each other on our journeys.
Regards,
Ann
Thank you for the like and follow :). It’s an honor! Love your style of blog 😀
Thanks so much. I look forward to future readings of yours.
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hi Ann, I’ve read what you wrote about awards – so although I’ve nominated you I am quite happy that you won’t be doing any more than expressing gratitude!
http://coulddoworse.wordpress.com/2014/02/04/the-dragons-loyalty-award/
And, I am quite happy and honored to be nominated by you!
Thank you for following my blog and may you enjoy my other poetry 🙂
Thank you, too. I look forward to reading more.
Thank you, Ann, your encouragement stirs me more 🙂
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Hi Ann,
Just letting you know I have nominated you for the Shauny Award. More details can be found at http://irenewaters19.com/2014/02/26/shauny-award-and-friends-and-followers-award/
Cheers Irene
Thank you so much, Irene! I am honored, in particular, to receive the nomination for this award (since I follow Shaun, too).
How extra special. Congratulations and I think you truly deserve this. Cheers Irene
I am very pleased, and cheers to you, also, Irene!
Hi Ann, I appreciate your courage to share and be real. It’s not always easy to share our inner feelings, insecurities and such. Similar to you, I’m focusing on self compassion for this year which is a lot about not judging myself; an ideal as you mentioned. Being more gentle, compassionate and loving with myself is already softening the emotional drama. Good luck to you and thanks for following my blog. Brad
Brad, thank you for reading and for having the courage to share and be real, also. I look forward to reading more from you.
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Thank you for visiting, following and commenting on my blog. I have been looking around your blog and find it to be very interesting. Looking forward to reading more from you in the future.
I’m glad for your visit, follow, and comment, also, and I, too, look forward to future encounters. Thanks!
I’m so glad you found my blog. You are quite a remarkable person, not only because of you being the ‘longest living person with a cardiac pacemaker’, but because of your genuine and loving pursuit and interest of humanity.
I’m glad we’re connected. I look forward to reading more. 🙂
Actually, Lori, it turns out I am NOT the longest living person with a pacemaker, but rather — probably — the second longest living etc. etc. But no matter what, I’m glad we’ve connected, also. Thank you for your kind words, and I look forward to reading more from you, too.
😄 well, you’re the longest living person with a pacemaker that I know! Lol.
Good point! Thanks for the laugh.
🙂
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Hi Ann, I’ve been nominated for a Versatile Blogger Award. Now it’s my turn to nominate others, and I would like to nominate you. I know your preference on accepting awards but wanted to give you one anyway…. Thanks for inspiring me to to be kinder to myself and making my 365 Day journey a little bit easier.
I am flattered and honored for you to nominate me like this. The words you chose to write to me today mean a great deal to me. I’m so pleased, and inspired, by you, in turn. Thank you!
I like this…
“– joy, fear, sadness, anger, the whole Emotional Enchilada. I plan to engage in my well-developed sense of play, and approach some painful material”
I look forward to your thoughts. What I’ve read so far has been interesting.
btw…I’m nominating you for several awards. 🙂 Just kidding.
Thank you for your visit and follow of my blog. I hope it will be worth your while.
It’s already been worth my while! Thanks for reading and for this great comment.
Love your subject and title. A whole year? I think I’m up to being able to go several minutes now without being judgmental. 🙂 Thanks for the follow and blessings to you.
I can’t go for much more than several minutes either, Mel. That’s why I need constant practice! I am very grateful to have met you here.
Thanks for hitching a ride on the site. One of my friends is an LCSW that works at a prison in Arizona. I have nothing but respect and admiration for her and for others in the field. Thanks for all you do!
Eva
Thanks for the visit and this comment, Eva. I look forward to reading more at your site.
Thank you.
khi Ann, ust thought i’d visit a bit to ty for liking my story/poem,
encouragement is always really appreciated.
You are most welcome. I am glad I was encouraging and thanks for your visit here.
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Hi, Ann 🙂 Thank you for coming by and following my blog. I look forward to reading your posts.
Thanks, Michele. I look forward to reading yours.
It does look like you have a very good blog, you do sound like an interesting read.
Why, thank you! I appreciate this, very much.
hi Ann, thanks for stopping by – good luck with the books and all your work (…especially the whole Emotional Enchilada)
be well
Thanks, Frank! All the best to you.
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Thanks so much for the follow, love your blog!
I’m so glad, Victoria! I look forward to future readings.
And I look forward to a blogging friendship! Cheers!
DItto to all of that!
Hello, Ann. Thanks for dropping by my blog. You had a undiagnosed TGA? And all those years they kept examining you for your heart block and missed it? Odd! Maybe it was adequately compensated (you were not walking around blue!)
Like you, my blog is my outlet for creativity, my opinionated opinions, or some new idea I stumbled on. Sometimes, I just want to be a little silly.
See you around!
It was congenitally corrected transposition of the great arteries — super rare and very often undetected, because all of the blood ends up in the right place.
Thanks for visiting and commenting today. Your blog definitely sounds like my kind of place. I look forward to future encounters.
What a great idea to live so creatively without judging. Great blog!
Thank you for your encouraging comments. They mean a lot!
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You, ma’am, have the most unusual background and history! Fascinating about your pacemaker and in a way, I too have trouble deciding… Grrr…
Thank you! I have no trouble deciding this: I’m so glad you visited and left this comment.
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I’m so delighted to meet you! You have a very interesting story. We’re Myers-Briggs twinsies! I have a bit of a struggle with making decisions, too! My husband once watched me choose a car to buy in about 15 minutes and now when I take 2 hours to pick out the perfect bath towels he, teasingly, reminds me of my 15 minute car purchase. Thank you for following me! I’m now a follower of you! 🙂
Thank you! I am already enjoying your blog posts. And I wanted to tell you that I — like you — am often “better” at making decisions for big things than for small things. Interesting, huh?
Thank you for dropping by my blog. We share a belief in the transformational effects of writing, though I am no professional. I did mine, inside out, that is, I started with two novels and then came to blogging. I shoot for once or twice a week, so you’re daily effort is impressive to me. I certainly wish you the fullest of recoveries–after all, I only just found you! (Yeah, see that, it’s all about me.)
It’s all about us! Thanks so much for dropping by and commenting and for all you shared here.
Many thanks for stopping by my blog. One of the oddest hings to me is people following my rather mundance recountings of my “fun” activities – and sometimes daily life. ?? I spend more time reading, than writing entries — that much is for certain. I’ve added your blog to my lengthy list! 🙂 (Oh, and boy am I judgmental – constantly seeing that and sometimes nipping it, other times not so much.) Great effort here with daily writing.
Mundane is in the eye of the beholder, I think. I often write about “mundane” things, too. I’m so glad we have encountered each other here, and I look forward to reading more from you.
Thank you Ann for stopping by and following… 🙂
After going through this page, I have nothing but respect for you…
Have a good weekend…
-ISpontein
I just updated my blog, so the link is not working properly… Here it is…
http://ispontein.wordpress.com/
Thanks for letting us know!
Thank you so much; that means a lot to me.
You’re welcome…
Haha… Funny thing, something to do with WP, some glitch… This is the third time I’m following you… LOL
Thanks for the ‘like’ Ann, and the best to you.
Bill
Thank you, Bill, and I look forward to future encounters here.
I love meeting a psychotherapist who sometimes has trouble making decisions and owns up to it. A read of fresh air. Hello, I’m Paulette. 🙂
Great to meet you, Paulette. I look forward to future encounters here on WordPress.
Hi,
I am not sure if we contacted you before but we would like to invite you to provide a guest post on our site Retirement And Good Living.
You don’t have to be retired to guest post on our blog.
We launched our retirement site at http://retirementandgoodliving.com which provides information on a variety of topics including life, humor, health, retirement locations, finances, hobbies, travel, volunteering, part time work and much more to boomers, recent retirees and others thinking about or planning for retirement.
Currently the blog section of our site is comprised entirely of posts by guests on a variety of topics. To date over 150 guests from around the globe provided posts to our blog.
Please send me an email if interested and I will forward additional information.
Thanks,
Simone
I am flattered by the invitation, Simone. I will most likely be contacting you soon.
Hello Ann! I am getting to know you here. Thank you for the follow, I will be following you back because I love your pictures, your words and Harley.. 😀 Also very interested in what you do for a living. I do hope you get to feeling better very soon!
Thanks so much for this wonderful comment! I look forward to getting to know you better, also.
Did you ever move to Charleston? I just read your Charleston post… spent a little bit of time there myself last November. Did you see the Angel Tree on one of the coastal islands… absolutely amazing (I did a whole blogpost on that gorgeous tree). I imagine it gets really hot and humid down there, starting about….now 🙂
I am still in Boston. I didn’t see the Angel Tree (didn’t make it out to the coastal islands), but I’ve definitely heard about it. I’ll look for your post about it, too. The heat and humidity is definitely a negative for me, too. Thanks for this comment!
I saw a painting of it and then was so haunted by it that I tracked it down: http://beautyalongtheroad.wordpress.com/2013/11/21/angel-oak-tree/
Thanks for the link to your wonderful post.
I wonder if you have seen ‘In Treatment’ DVD series about a psychotherapist who treats various clients? Quite interesting, and has given me a new respect for your profession, as well as your mantra. Pleased to meet you 🙂
I am very pleased to meet you, also. I watched the first season of “In Treatment.” You are inspiring me to watch the rest! Thanks for the visit and the comment.
You inspire me so much! Hat off to you for being so courageous 🙂
Keep smiling 😀
This means a great deal to me. Thanks so much for the visit and for letting me know your encouraging thoughts.
Glad you’re still around!
And I’m quite glad you made your way around here!