IMPORTANT NOTE: If you are in therapy with me (or are considering being in individual or group therapy with me), please have a conversation with me about this blog before you read further.
ABOUT ME
When asked what I do for a living, I sometimes say I’m a clinical social worker, sometimes I say I’m a psychotherapist. Whatever title I use, I work with people at a major teaching hospital, and I specialize in group therapy.
For quite a while, I’ve been thinking of writing a book that combines personal memories with the work I love to do, and I actually started writing something in August, 2012. Working titles for that book include “AFOG: Another F***ing Opportunity for Growth”, “How To Be The Hero Of Your Own Story” and “Doing More of What Works (and Less of What Doesn’t Work) For You.”
As you can see, I sometimes have trouble making decisions. Or, to look at this another — perhaps less judgmental way — I’m an Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiver, according to the Myers-Briggs test (which I recommend as one way to investigate how your and other people’s “styles” interact). To translate that into English, that just means that (1) I feel more energized being around people, (2) I’m interested in possibilities and patterns, (3) I tend to go with my “gut”, and (4) I sometimes have trouble making decisions.
Something else about me: I am the owner of a very unusual heart — I have congenitally corrected transposition of the great vessels, which is super rare. This wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult; however, I was diagnosed at birth as having a complete heart block. Because of my heart, I spent a lot of time in the hospital when I was a kid. Plus, I am (probably) the second longest surviving person in the world with a cardiac pacemaker.
This medical part of my story has had a profound impact on me, of course. However, it’s a part of my life which — up until I started writing this blog — I was pretty secretive about (at least, beyond close friends and family). Not these years, though!
ABOUT THIS BLOG
This blog is part of my creative process.
It’s also a way to work on my growing acceptance and appreciation of life, and to share and develop some of the wisdom I’ve been slowly accumulating. My original commitment was to start on January 1, 2013 and to blog once daily for a year. Since blogging has helped me so much, I’ve extended that commitment through 2014 and beyond!
This blog is also another way for me to take risks, to venture out into the world in new ways, and to embrace and express all my different human feelings — joy, fear, sadness, anger, the whole Emotional Enchilada. I plan to engage in my well-developed sense of play, and approach some painful material, also.
So this blog does a lot for me!
ABOUT THE TITLE OF THIS BLOG
The original title — The Year of Living Non-Judgmentally — came to me in December 2012, out of the blue, and I knew I wanted to write a blog with that title (even though I had never written a blog before). Then, on January 1, 2014, after the first year was over, I added the “s” (to cover it all).
I wonder if readers might misunderstand the intent of this blog, because of the title. By no means do I expect that I (or anybody else) will attain a perfect state of Non-Judgment, no matter what the year.
As I say in my first post in this blog, judgment is something that I invite myself and my clients to let go of, as much as possible. So this blog is, also, my commitment to Walk that Walk and to Talk that Talk — to strive, day by day, for Years of Living Non-Judgmentally (the best that I can).
Being Non-Judgmental is an ideal beyond any human’s grasp. It’s like the ideal of being perfectly in the moment — another (I believe, at this point) unattainable ideal. As I discuss with clients, human minds aren’t built to stay in the moment or to be non-judgmental. Instead, our minds naturally veer off — into the past and the future, and into judgment of ourselves (and whatever else we encounter). The best we can do is to notice these human meanderings of our minds, and gently re-focus (to the moment and to letting go of judgment) over and over again.
I have to say that I’m really excited about this journey, and I’m honored that you are joining me right now — and for any additional part of it that you choose.
NOTE: Several of the posts in this blog contain references to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Narrative Therapy, and other therapeutic techniques I use when working with people. On 2/10/13, I started a second blog here, specifically for posting reference materials about these therapy techniques. (For example, see here for a handout containing definitions of all 13 Cognitive Distortions discussed in this blog.)
ANOTHER NOTE: As of January 20, 2014, I am finally stating my preference regarding WordPress Awards. If it pleases you to nominate me for one, it also pleases me to express sincere gratitude for the nomination (but that’s all I will do in return).
Ann, what a wonderful pleasure to come across your blog. All as a result of your recent decision to start following Learning from Dogs. Not sure how much of LfD you have read but I’m coming to the close of the draft of a book (key word is ‘draft’!) that combines both my personal story and what we should ‘learn from dogs’. Part of that includes my work with Jon Lavin who is a psychotherapist and has the website The People Workshop; http://peopleworkshop.com Jon and I used to live just a few miles from each other back in my English days! Hope we can stay connected! Best wishes, Paul.
I am so pleased about the mutual find and follow, Paul! I look forward to learning more from you.
What an amazing idea for a blog. I am impressed. I too share in your indecisive nature. It was a hindrance when I wrote because I would be so focused on one story [one thought] that I would block out other ideas and inspirations. I thought I was over coming my indecisive nature by doing this but found I was stifling my own creativity. I had four ideas/inspirations for four novels so instead of picking one to write I started writing all four. My mind races at all times and I noticed that if I nurture my wandering mind instead of fighting it I can achieve far more. What’s better, getting stuck on one story for weeks and halting work entirely or following my natural pattern and jumping on another project for awhile? I have successfully cured my own writer’s block by being indecisive. I have been knocked down a bit the last few [five] years but I am trying to climb my way out and it all starts with my perception of things.
I am glad you are one of the longest living people with a pacemaker, whether it be the first or the second. You have a great deal to offer the world. Thank you for your sweet comment and for being you! – JM
I may be indecisive but I’ve decided this — it’s great that we’ve met here on WordPress. I look forward to reading many more of your kind, insightful, and beautifully wandering thoughts.
It’s an honor to follow you and I wish you the best. I like reading your updates and I think you are so brave to share your life and by the way, following me at a time when my life needs the uplifting only a person like you can provide.
It’s an honor to be followed by you. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
Incredible story! As an INFJ and paramedic, I’m happy you are following my blog!
I am incredibly happy that you are following my blog and that I am following yours!
So happy to have found you! We have many things in common, including our location! I look forward to reading many more of your posts!
I look forward to future encounters, too. Thanks for dropping by and commenting, neighbor!
hi there you were on mark bialczk blog. I got the name louise after my great grandmothere. I so prefer it to robyn. but i keep being called that.
Hi there, Louise! Thank you for so kindly visiting my blog and answering my question! Wonderful to meet you.
Your visit to my blog has brought me to yours, and I am very grateful. I will be interested to read more of yours. Thank you.
Thank you! I am grateful for your blog and for your visit here.
Hey Ann, thanks for coming to see me at Steve Says…come again, stay a while – have a drink even! I look forward to this blogging journey with you. Steve…
I look forward to sharing our journeys, also, Steve. Many thanks for the visit and comment.
Hey, many thanks for following my blog, I truly appreciate the support. Hope you enjoy my posts and as I will yours. All the best. Bex
I enjoy savvy people like you. Thanks so much for returning the support here.
My pleasure and thank you too 🙂
Thank you very much for following my blog and browsing through my posts. I hope you liked my world of travelling and would explore it more.
Looking forward to more of your tales.
Cheers
Aanchal
I love travel and I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks for traveling here!
How did I miss that you were a fellow LCSW? There are a cadre of us here in blogdom. Love your posts and your blog. Gonna check out some more…..
I knew you and your blog were wonderful, Cindy, but I didn’t know you were a clinical social worker. Thanks for letting me know and for the visit.
Thanks for following my blog and I am glad I found my way to your blog. I strive to be a compassionate non-judgmental observer of myself and others and I do get better at it every day. I truly understand what is means for me. It is changing my life. However, I also have learned to celebrate the moments that I am compassionate with myself and when I am not I try to regroup and start again.
I think as I have come to understand the complexity of the human experience I have developed much more compassion for others. I too am striving to be non-judgmental and an observe of the now but really believe the mind is not geared this way. I celebrate the moments I am in the now.
I celebrate you and the fact that you found your way here. I look forward to more mutual learning in the future.
Thanks so much for following the craziness that is my blog. 🙂
Thanks for bringing yourself here!
It’s a pleasure. 🙂
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Hello Ann. I love the openness and honesty of your About page. I think many of us strive to be less judgmental in our everyday lives – to be more accepting and tolerant of others (as well as ourselves). The fact that you’ve had a pacemaker for so long is incredible. I’ll look forward to hearing more about you, and how you are trying to overcome your indecisiveness, in future posts.
I am not indecisive about this: I am incredibly glad and grateful that you are commenting here.
Hi Ann, I want to thank you for stopping by cookiecrumbstoliveby and for wanting to follow along on my life’s little journey–I look forward to reading further about your adventures as well 🙂
Again, thank you and many blessings—Julie
Thank you, Julie, for stopping by and following here. And I LOVE the nickname “Cookie.”
Guess what, Ann: I just nominated you for the Premio Dardos Award. It is for artistic creativity in writing. You are artistic and creative, my friend. I know awards are a pain, and I have no idea if you accept them or not, but I took this one because I think it is honorable, and so I wish to pass it on to you, too.
http://markbialczak.com/2015/02/01/accepting-an-award-again-because-its-a-dart-to-the-art-of-creativity/
You are artistic, creative, and supremely honorable, friend Mark. I don’t accept awards, but I am touched and humbled by this special and sharp nomination from you.
I am happy to have honored you with a nomination, Ann. 🙂
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Ann, I’m absolutely blown away by your blogsite! I’ve already laughed until I thought I would pass out (Happy Bday performances), empathized, listened in amazement, watched you put something together out of ‘nothing,’ and gotten a bit of your heart and life. I’m thrilled that you’re following my blog, and am returning the follow.
Elouise–INFJ in need of more P
Elouise! I am blown away by your kind words, and I apologize for taking so long in finding this comment here. I am thrilled that this INFJ is following my ENFP posts!
me too!
I love how you see stuffs differently! You get my official follow! I hope to read your new posts as soon as possible!
Much respect, have a great day
I love that you found this blog, followed, and commented. You made my day great already!
Thank you so much!
It’s been my pleasure hope to see ur posts soon 🙂
Thank you, Rika! I’ve been posting daily since January 1, 2013.
Waw that’s amazing! and really inspiring, I’ve been here since April 2013 🙂
I’d be very pleased if check out my blog
Have a wonderful weekend ! 🙂
I will check out your blog, for sure! So wonderful to meet you here.
Thanks a lot! <3
scottishwriter60@gmail.com if you would like my offer of audio book for free
Thanks, Annie.
Thank you for the follow, Ann; without it, I wouldn’t have discovered you. Lots to read here since you post every day. (I’m lucky to get something out once a week or so.) I’m sure your occupation provides a lot of interesting fodder for your blog. I look forward to reading more. And as far as awards go, like you, I don’t accept them anymore; though I feel honored to receive them, responding takes up too much of my precious writing time.
I’ll be back soon for another visit.
Kathy
Kathy! I am so glad you visited. I look forward to our getting to know each other better.
Thank you, Ann, for following Tales From The WagginMaster (waggintailsrv.com). I appreciate your support. My wife and I are retired and live in our RV as we travel around the US. I am a photo hobbyist and enjoy sharing our travels with our readers.
Thanks for stopping by here to introduce yourself, Jerry.
Thank you for finding and following my blog I enjoy sharing my changing life patterns with the world. I’ve had a few challenges lately but I am working through them. Writing helps.
I agree that writing helps. Thanks for taking the time to write this here.
Dear Ann, I only had to go into your blog a few days to see why I need to follow. You posted Al Green and the Beatles, Sting and James Taylor. Also Fenway Park, Unique Pretzels (their factory very near my home in Pa.) and a fun rendition of the Lion Sleeps Tonight. I am fascinated, was meant to find you. Thanks. ☺ Van
I guess we were meant to find each other (thanks to Diana Schwenk today). I’m so pleased, Van!
Thanks for stopping by my blog 🙂
Thanks for stopping by here!
Hi Ann, thanks for checking out my blog. I just read a few of your posts. I like your style, attitude and photos. We have 2 major things in common. I lived in greater Boston (Newton/Cambridge) until recently relocating and I too worked in mental health there. Like you, I wrote a about the experience only in the form of a short story.
Peace and blessings.
Kat! Thanks so much for visiting and for this great comment. I’m wondering where you’ve relocated to. Could it possibly be somewhere warmer and less snowy?!! Peace and blessings back at you.
Howdy Ann, This is the typing of Squatch. Thank you for the follow. I don’t know what brought you to my door, but am pleased to meet you. You picked a bad time to follow as I am about to leave a city area, to go back home in N.E. Washington. There I will struggle to get Internet service, although I will keep up with the blog, My post rate will be considerably slower. I hope to catch up with you as soon as possible. Thanks again, and I will talk with you soon.
I enjoyed your typing and I look forward to future bloggings! Many thanks for stopping by.
Thank you again for the “follow”. We do seem to have many things in common – most strikingly blogging as a tool for (in my case) unexpected personal discovery. I wrote this post a few years ago (not well written, but the first ever piece of personal writing shared in my 55 years)
https://notestoponder.wordpress.com/2012/11/28/regret/
Followed by these…
https://notestoponder.wordpress.com/2013/04/05/recollections/
https://notestoponder.wordpress.com/2013/01/04/growing-up/
Thanks for visiting and for sharing your words, too.
Congratulations, Ann!
I have nominated your blog for the Real Neat Blog Award.
More about this nomination is at
https://dearkitty1.wordpress.com/2015/04/15/real-neat-blog-award-congratulations-to-everyone/
Thank you for the Real Neat follow and for the Real Neat award!! I don’t accept awards, but I feel real neat now, thanks to you.
I completely understand 🙂 All my best wishes for you and your blog!
All my best wishes for you and your real neat blog, also.
🙂 🙂 🙂
Hello Ann. I noticed you started following my blog, so naturally I was curious and came over to visit yours. I wouldn’t worry about making decisions, they kind of tend to make themselves, one way or another. It sounds like you have decided to live life boldly, and your blog has become part of that adventure. Anyway, I wanted to just give you the official welcome to my attic, and I hope I don’t disappoint, and always leave you laughing. ;O)
You are certainly not disappointing, in any way — I wouldn’t worry about that! I’m so glad we’ve met here.
Thanks for becoming a subscriber. Happy blogging.
Happy blogging to you, too!
Thanks very much Ann fir following my blog, which in turn is linking me to your wonderful world of therapies.. Living non-judgmentally is a near impossible ideal, whereas living in the moment is attainable in some measure, with consistent effort. Let us see how far I can succeed in the non-judgmental field in my learning journey with you…best wishes.. Raj.
Wonderful to see you here, Raj, in this moment. I am looking forward to many moments ahead of mutual and shared learning.
Thanks for like a moment ago. I had to delete and repost for corrected errors. Perhaps revisit. Thanks.
Thanks for revisiting here, Carl. I have no trouble liking things again.
It’s good to meet you, Ann. I find some strong similarities in our paths but I am an introvert. I’m looking forward to reading your posts. I’m only beginning to build a bridge between my poetry, and creating fictionalized stories from my experiences in the fields of human services and education. It will be good to share a small part of the journey with you 🙂
Thank you, Laine. I am only slightly extroverted, on the Myers Briggs Scale. It’s a privilege to meet you, and I look forward to future blogging encounters.
Oh my goodness! 528 responses to your about page? And you took the time to stop off at my little blog? I am seriously touched.
I, of course, had to come and see who this Ann-person was. Wow. I am looking forward to getting to know you. My first child was born with congenital heart disease and was my pride and joy for almost eight months. I value that time with him like no one could completely understand, and, as a result of what he taught me, try to live my life with the most authenticity I can, which does include doing my best at being non-judgmental ~ not an easy task but the importance is in the trying our best, isn’t it?
Dale, I am touched and honored that you took the time to visit here. Thank you for this beautiful and touching comment. All my best to you. <3
You are an inspiration Ann! Thanks again for following my blog and I can’t wait to read more of your journey – looking up! 🙂
Thank you for this inspiring comment, Rob! I am looking forward to more blogging close encounters.
Have been following your blog for so long. Thank you for sharing your creativity with us all. No pressure to accept, but take it as a huge compliment as well as the fact that I can’t stay away from your blog https://alexraphael.wordpress.com/2015/05/23/awards-three-of-a-different-kind/
I am so honored and complimented by this award from you, Alex, and I’m so happy you received it. I don’t accept awards but I accept your regard, which means the world to me.
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I am inspired by your blog Ann and thanks for sharing! Looking forward to reading your future blog. Thanks as well for following my blog. 🙂
Thank YOU, Little Lilly! I look forward to future readings, too.
It’s true. You woke up and found yourself in Uncle Bardie Country. Now that you have followed Uncle Bardie, you may find yourself at that fork in the road that have to take. With Uncle Bardie for a guide, you can be comforted that you may stub your toe on a pun, find you can’t resist laughing at those things you never thought funny and wake up to wonder what Uncle Bardie will post next. It’s okay. That itch can be scratched by simply tuning into the next Post, It could very well be a doozy or not. Either way it will be coming from the whacky mind of Uncle Bardie. So thanks for following Uncle Bardie’s Stories & Such. It beats bananas any day. Unless…but that’s a whole ‘nother thang. And one last thing. Thanks for the follow and have a great day (or night, depending on your perspective).
That really woke me up, Uncle Bardie.
Hi! Thank you so much for the like and follow. Just wanted you know that the post you followed was a reblog from one of my previous blogs. I don’t post to that particular blog anymore, so if you want my updated posts, my newer blog is on which I placed the reblog (adjustingyourfocus.wordpress.com). Just fyi, in case you didn’t know. Thanks again! Happy to make a new friend. 🙂
Thanks, Carol. I’m following the newer blog, too. Thanks for stopping by!
Oh, groovy. Thanks! 🙂 Hoping you’re having an inspired day!
Hi Ann! Thanks for the like and the follow. I’ve been reading your comments and noticing your bespectacled avatar (is it a leopard? a tiger? a dog in a ruff? cute) and meaning to visit you, but you beat me. Indecisive, hah! I test out as an IS/NTP–depending on whether I’m thinking about work or home when I answer the questions. I think I’m going to enjoy visiting your blog to learn more about coming back to the present moment. Thanks for visiting my blog!
I’m so glad we’ve connected here; thanks for the great comment! My avatar is a tiger who can see quite clearly. I’m looking forward to future encounters here on WordPress.
Thanks for the follow! I’m an INFJ, and am always a little envious of extroverted personality types. But then I remember how much I love my alone time, and then I’m okay with being an INFJ. 🙂 I look forward to following your blog now!
I’m so glad you are okay with your wonderful type and that we are following each other!
Thanks for the follow, Ann. I’ll try to keep things interesting.
Great project you’ve got going. I’ll keep checking in.
Stay on the good foot,
Nick Fox
Hi Ann,
Thank you for following my newswriting and blogging at the Half-Eaten Mind. Looking forward to reading more of your work!
Vijay
Thanks, Vijay. Wonderful to meet you here!
You are a fighter! 🙂
Never doubt that!
My guess is that you’re a fighter too, Hannah! Thanks for this wonderful comment.
Haha, I’m mostly stoic! 🙂
You’re most welcome!
And thanks for dropping by!
Have a nice day! 🙂
Thank you for following my blog, Ann. Just wondering why you have?
You’re welcome, Lyn. I followed your blog because I felt the call to do so.
Aaah, the call of the pen 😀
A boyhood friend of my brother’s, five years younger than I, was asked if he thought drinking was bad. Tommy wistfully replied, “It depends on what you’re drinking.” Likewise, judgment can have positive ramifications, like when you’re standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon and begin to wonder can you jump to the other side. Sometimes wisdom trumps valor. So, like Tommy, I would say, “It depends what you’re judging.”
Ironically, Tommy died about a year ago of liver failure due both to hepatitis and alcoholism. He was on the liver transplant list, but didn’t make it — and his other number was called, if you know what I mean.
Thanks for dropping by my writing studio. “That Lion There” is an older poem, resurrected due to the recent news of the Minnesota dentist who placed his selfish desires over those of a rather helpless beast. I admit that it’s quite difficult for me not to judge the actions of this man.
Perhaps he will become the lion he destroyed if he lives so long, and rue when others seek to behead him for their trophy walls. Algernon Blackwood wrote a wonderful short story called “The Valley of the Beasts” years ago. Click https://youtu.be/CuYH7caNL84 to hear it read. It is quite appropriate, I think.
— LSM
Everything can have positive ramifications. My judgment is that humans are programmed to judge — it helps us survive. That’s why a non-judgmental stance is so difficult and why I need to keep practicing and learning more about that, every day. Thanks you for the wisdom and learning in your comment. I am very grateful for all you wrote.