IMPORTANT NOTE: If you are in therapy with me (or are considering being in individual or group therapy with me), please have a conversation with me about this blog before you read further.
ABOUT ME
When asked what I do for a living, I sometimes say I’m a clinical social worker, sometimes I say I’m a psychotherapist. Whatever title I use, I work with people at a major teaching hospital, and I specialize in group therapy.
For quite a while, I’ve been thinking of writing a book that combines personal memories with the work I love to do, and I actually started writing something in August, 2012. Working titles for that book include “AFOG: Another F***ing Opportunity for Growth”, “How To Be The Hero Of Your Own Story” and “Doing More of What Works (and Less of What Doesn’t Work) For You.”
As you can see, I sometimes have trouble making decisions. Or, to look at this another — perhaps less judgmental way — I’m an Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiver, according to the Myers-Briggs test (which I recommend as one way to investigate how your and other people’s “styles” interact). To translate that into English, that just means that (1) I feel more energized being around people, (2) I’m interested in possibilities and patterns, (3) I tend to go with my “gut”, and (4) I sometimes have trouble making decisions.
Something else about me: I am the owner of a very unusual heart — I have congenitally corrected transposition of the great vessels, which is super rare. This wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult; however, I was diagnosed at birth as having a complete heart block. Because of my heart, I spent a lot of time in the hospital when I was a kid. Plus, I am (probably) the second longest surviving person in the world with a cardiac pacemaker.
This medical part of my story has had a profound impact on me, of course. However, it’s a part of my life which — up until I started writing this blog — I was pretty secretive about (at least, beyond close friends and family). Not these years, though!
ABOUT THIS BLOG
This blog is part of my creative process.
It’s also a way to work on my growing acceptance and appreciation of life, and to share and develop some of the wisdom I’ve been slowly accumulating. My original commitment was to start on January 1, 2013 and to blog once daily for a year. Since blogging has helped me so much, I’ve extended that commitment through 2014 and beyond!
This blog is also another way for me to take risks, to venture out into the world in new ways, and to embrace and express all my different human feelings — joy, fear, sadness, anger, the whole Emotional Enchilada. I plan to engage in my well-developed sense of play, and approach some painful material, also.
So this blog does a lot for me!
ABOUT THE TITLE OF THIS BLOG
The original title — The Year of Living Non-Judgmentally — came to me in December 2012, out of the blue, and I knew I wanted to write a blog with that title (even though I had never written a blog before). Then, on January 1, 2014, after the first year was over, I added the “s” (to cover it all).
I wonder if readers might misunderstand the intent of this blog, because of the title. By no means do I expect that I (or anybody else) will attain a perfect state of Non-Judgment, no matter what the year.
As I say in my first post in this blog, judgment is something that I invite myself and my clients to let go of, as much as possible. So this blog is, also, my commitment to Walk that Walk and to Talk that Talk — to strive, day by day, for Years of Living Non-Judgmentally (the best that I can).
Being Non-Judgmental is an ideal beyond any human’s grasp. It’s like the ideal of being perfectly in the moment — another (I believe, at this point) unattainable ideal. As I discuss with clients, human minds aren’t built to stay in the moment or to be non-judgmental. Instead, our minds naturally veer off — into the past and the future, and into judgment of ourselves (and whatever else we encounter). The best we can do is to notice these human meanderings of our minds, and gently re-focus (to the moment and to letting go of judgment) over and over again.
I have to say that I’m really excited about this journey, and I’m honored that you are joining me right now — and for any additional part of it that you choose.
NOTE: Several of the posts in this blog contain references to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Narrative Therapy, and other therapeutic techniques I use when working with people. On 2/10/13, I started a second blog here, specifically for posting reference materials about these therapy techniques. (For example, see here for a handout containing definitions of all 13 Cognitive Distortions discussed in this blog.)
ANOTHER NOTE: As of January 20, 2014, I am finally stating my preference regarding WordPress Awards. If it pleases you to nominate me for one, it also pleases me to express sincere gratitude for the nomination (but that’s all I will do in return).
Thanks for the follow. Your combination of interests and experiences are fascinating, so I am folioing you now.
Or possibly following.
Either way. I am grateful, greatful, graitful for your thoughts and for the follow. (Spelling and neatness are over-rated, sometimes.)
I agrea! 😀
That’s pryceless, Priceless Joy!
Thank you for stopping by blog. I know i am going to enjoy reading your blog. I agree with you that we should let go of judgement. Something not that easy to do. I find it easier not to judge others than myself. I am hardest on myself. I need to learn how to let go.
You and a lot of other people. Thanks so much for this great comment.
Hi! thank you for following my humble little blog and bringing me to your thoughts here 🙂
I’m glad that our paths have crossed. Thanks so much for commenting.
Hi Ann
Thanks for following. I’m a happy camper now you are joining me as I trip around by RV, plane, car and time machine to the past.
Comments, compliments, critiques and wisecracks are most welcome.
You have a great blog. Stay in the moment. “See” you again soon.
Which Way Now 101 aka Carol
Thank YOU, Carol, for a terrific blog and for this comment. I’m so glad your adventurous path and mine have crossed here.
This is an excellent blog…
I used to be an INTJ. Somewhere down the line, I became an INTP
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. That’s so interesting, that you changed from a Judger to a Perceiver. I appreciate your kind words.
Thank you for following! Looking forward to read your blog)
I likewise look forward to reading more of yours. Thanks so much for the visit and the comment!
Thank you for following 🙂
Your blog looks so interesting.
Thank you, silver wolf! I look forward to reading more of your blog, also.
I have granted you the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. I hope you enjoy it. I can totally understand if you do not wish to participate. I think your blog is wonderful and wanted you to know that.
I’m sure it’s unnecessary to say this, but your blog had been chosen before you said a word about maybe stopping in at the gallery.
http://babsjeheron.wordpress.com/2013/12/10/very-inspiring-blogger-award-thanks-palm-rae-urban-potager/
Babsje, it is such an honor to be nominated by you for this award, especially since I find your blog so inspiring. Thanks so much!
You’re welcome. Your blog is very deserving of the Very Inspiring label, both for the quality of your content and your light touch in saying what you say, but also for your stamina. Every single day for an entire YEAR??? I just did one MONTH, NaBloPoMo in November and thought I’d quit blogging entirely the first week of December. You should blog your secret to avoiding burnout, better yeti bottle it and sell it!!
Thank you for all these compliments, Babsje. They mean a lot, especially coming from somebody I respect so much. As far as my stamina — I know that seems impressive, but here is my secret: Blogging every day helps me. I do it for myself. It’s an act of selfishness. Don’t tell anybody, okay?
You’re welcome, and that’s a great perspective about why you blog. Random acts of selfishness are a good thing!
Hi Ann, Thank you for following my photography blog. I hope you are inspired. I have a feeling you found me through Babsje– (thank you to her for our shared nomination!) Your blog is terrific and I am enjoying reading your posts. I love AFOG– made me smile!
You are right, Jane; I did find you through Babsje. I have much to thank her for. I look forward to visiting your blog more, and to future visits from you. Thanks so much for this comment, which made me smile, too.
Hi Ann! I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Thank you for inspiring me with your blog! Congratulations! You can find the badge and details here: http://lilmisspoutinessegues.wordpress.com/2013/12/11/the-versatile-blogger-award
If yours is an award-free blog and I have overlooked the icon, please accept my appreciation for your blog, all the same! 🙂
Thank you SO MUCH for the nomination. It means a lot to me. I haven’t decided whether to make this an award-free blog, at this point. But no matter what decision I make, I will cherish the intent of this comment.
you’re welcome! and I’m so flattered by the articulateness of your reply! 🙂 🙂 🙂
You have an interesting blog here, as I need to follow and read much more at.
I try to be non judging in my daily life, as good as possible. The most difficult I still try to learn is to be in the moment, that is not so easy, as it sounds.
Thanks for your visit, like and following at my blog too.
Thanks for commenting here. It IS difficult to be non-judgmental, for sure. I really appreciate your visit and your blog, too.
Thanks for your visit, Ann. Your work in group therapy sounds interesting. I wonder what country you live in? Best wishes, Aunty Uta 🙂
Hey, Aunty Uta! I live in the USA. Thanks so much for visiting.
Ann, you have a wonderful Blog, and thank you most kindly for your visit and for following Dreamwalker’s. Wishing you well upon your journey and I hope this year has been more than enlightening 🙂
Blessings
Sue
Thanks so much, Sue, for this kind and wonderful comment. I wish you well on your journey, in turn. This year has been, indeed, enlightening, and I’m hoping that enlightenment will continue!
Our journeys to enlightenment bring us to meet the most wonderful beings… so pleased that you made yourself known to my blog Ann, and I can see when I have a little more time over the holidays I will love getting to know you better through your thoughts 🙂
Blessings Sue
Thanks so much, Sue. I love this comment and I’m very glad we met here.
What a Wonderfully honest and refreshingly hopeful About page. I am so very Glad I found your blog. With all the millions of word-press sites,yours has to one of those special gems,one is lucky (fortunate) to come across. Thank you 🙂
I feel that way about your blog, too, Adam! I’m so glad we met here. Thanks for this comment.
Thanks so much for the follow. You’re on an interesting quest. Happy travelling.
One thing I love about the quest is encountering fellow interesting travelers. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
Ann, thanks so much for visiting my site and choosing to follow along. I’m excited to dig into your archives and see what I’ve missed all year!
I’m excited you’re here! Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
You are one interesting person (and not just because of the heart thing). I’m your 100th Like on this About page. Must be destiny.
It must all be destiny, Trent, don’t you think? I’m so pleased that you visited, found me interesting, and commented. I look forward to future interactions here.
Thanks for choosing to follow along with Wine and Cheese (Doodles). I am thoroughly intrigued by the idea of living a year non-judgmentally–I imagine it’s a lot harder than it seems…on paper. You are almost at the finish line–and then you can blog about how easy/difficult it was! Thanks again.
It is difficult, on paper or not. I’m approaching the finish line of this year, but it’s a life-long process. Thanks so much for this comment!
I am intrigued by your blog, Ann. My husband has a degree in Marriage & Family Therapy so we talk a lot in our house about mental/emotional/spiritual health. If I remember correctly, I am an ESTJ with the J being the strongest percentage-wise. It makes me wonder that you followed MY blog. 😉
Over the years, I have begun to scratch the surface of the meaning of Grace, however, I think there are many misconceptions surrounding the meaning of the word “judge”. You may have already done this, but I would love to see a blog from you about what you mean when you use the words judgmental, judgment, or judge. Word meanings and interpretations have long fascinated me, and it has become my belief that most instances of miscommunication revolve around how the speaker/hearer defines the words he/she is saying/hearing. I have a kind of humorous example of this that is too long to share here … suffice to say it was a silly argument with my husband, in the middle of which it dawned on me that we were arguing about the definition of ONE word! I just started laughing, diffusing the whole thing.
Okay, enough about me … I think I’m going to enjoy looking around your site.
Grace and Peace to you, and Merry Christmas!
-C
Grace and peace to you also. I’m so glad for all the gifts you brought today and I look forward to our paths crossing again here. And I really appreciate your blog.
Hey there! I just stumbled upon your blog and I’m intrigued by your title and what I read in your about page here. Like you, I sometimes call myself a psychotherapist. I don’t sometimes call myself a clinical social worker, but do sometimes call myself a Marriage and Family Therapist. Recently, however; I haven’t called myself either of those titles because I’m taking time off as a psychotherapist to write a book. Anyway, it’s a pleasure to e-meet you! Celeste 🙂
How about if I call you … Celeste! Thanks for visiting here, Celeste. The e-meeting pleasure is mutual. Best of luck with the book, and I look forward to future intriguing encounters.
Brilliant – Celeste fits like a glove! 🙂
Thank you Ann for finding me and following mt blog. We have much in common;)
I plan to spend time here and get to know you as well.
in light,
litebeing
Thank you for visiting and for this lovely comment. I look forward to future interactions and mutual learning.
Uh oh. Please don’t read this BM INTJ navigator’s book when it comes out, SVP. I was judged – pre judged – by feminists social workers, and my response as per my book does not constitute a perfect act of forgiveness.
Thanks for the follow, BBTW. Hope your ticker goes for another century!!
Thank you for this great comment and your kind hope for me. And, BTW, some of my best friends are INTJ’s. I look forward to future interactions here in the blogosphere.
As do I. All the best, Ann.
I’m going camping tomorrow, which also means no internet connection and that I will have to wait until I get back to read all of your post’s. I’m absolutely fascinated by your blog and in some strange bizarre way I feel that my path have crossed yours today for a purpose that I still need to learn…let’s call it a gut feeling. Keep up the fantastic work and thank you for visiting my blog.
I’m glad our paths have crossed, also, especially after I’ve read this wonderful comment! Have fun camping and I look forward to your coming back to visit again.
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An award for you, check it out: http://irenedesign2011.wordpress.com/2013/12/26/awarded-the-blog-of-the-year-2013/
Thank you for the gifts of your visits, your comments, and this award. All very much appreciated.
You are welcome and you deserve it.
Irene
I just stumbled across your blog – glad I did – insightful words, nice idea, great input 🙂
I’m so glad for that stumble. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the kind words.
You’re welcome – the words of yours I have read so far have been kind to me – so I guess a thank you too is in order 🙂
It’s great to hear that my words have been kind to you. That, in itself, is a wonderful thank you.
Ann, I thank you for the follow on Petals Unfolding. I am the one that is honored. I also pushed your follow button. I have yet to read your blog, but your about is enough to know, I will like it here!
Love,
Lady Pinkrose (Amy)
Thanks, Amy! Here’s something else for me to celebrate on New Year’s Eve: our present and future connection here.
Here here!!! You sound deLIGHTful already! Here is to 2014!!!
xxoo Amy
Well, for one, I am really glad you stopped by my blog (http://migrationx3.wordpress.com). For two, I think I will discover another beautiful and rich treasure here! What you do is wonderful and I look forward to read more about you in the next year to come! Happy New Year to you, may love, happiness, joy, truth, peace, serenity and all you wish for come true! All my best, Delvi.
I’m really glad we met here, also, and I look forward to reading more of your writings in the next year. Thanks so much for all the beautiful wishes, all of which I hope for you.
Thank you new friend…starts well the New Year I think, right!?! Have a nice end of 2013!
Thanks for following my blog. I work in Social Services too, with developmentally disabled adults. Have for 18 years. I, too, use my blog for therapy. I need it. I’m insane. Thx again.
I didn’t notice the insanity in you. Thanks so much for visiting and commenting. I look forward to future encounters here.
I’m insane in only the best meaning of the word. I find sanity dull and boring so I escape! See you soon.
I look forward to it!
Nice to come across your blog, thanks for following mine. I’ve suffered depression over the years, used cognitive behavioural therapy and found it very useful, but ditched the depression once I’d stopped trying to get pats on the back from others and decided to follow my own path. Such a huge difference, lol!
I’m glad we’ve encountered each other here, and I’m happy to hear about the huge difference, following your own path, and the rest. Thanks for visiting and commenting!
So thrilled that you’re following me Ann. Likewise, I’ll be following you. You sound so upbeat and ready for a laugh … my kind of person! Here’s to a new friendship, a wonderful year in 2014 and to our respective blogs.
Here, here, Wendy, to all of that! Thanks so much for visiting and commenting.
An Award for you, check out the link: http://irenedesign2011.com/2014/01/05/one-more-award-thanks/
Irene
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this honor. It means a lot to me, coming from you.
You deserve it. Just enjoy…
Hi Ann!
I’ve been seeing you around on some of my favorite blogs and thought I’d come say hello. I’m also a social worker, although I moved to Germany this last year which prevented me from taking my clinical licensure test. However, it’s not applicable here unless needed for a US government job so I’m making peace with that. I always worked as a pediatric social worker and it is something I miss. I look forward to reading more about you! I also have my expat blog at http://www.fromcasinostocastles.com.
Cheers!
Deanna
Hi Deanna!
Thanks so much for coming over. I’m so pleased to meet you! And I’m glad to hear you’re making peace with those challenges. I look forward to reading more about you, too.
Cheers back at ya,
Ann
Your blog is wonderful! I have just started to read some of the posts and I will be back! Keep up the great work! 🙂
Thanks for the follow on my blog as well!
Thanks so much! I’ll be visiting your wonderful blog more, too.
You rock ma deah and you have a great blog! Us LCSW bloggers are cool……there is Lea in France she’s one too and several others! Cheers to you~
Hey, Cindy! Apparently I missed your comment on my About page. It’s been so great meeting up with you on WordPress. I look forward to many future encounters.
Hi Ann and thank you very much for the follow 🙂
You have had a very interesting journey so far by what I have read and I look forward to reading more of your blog! 🙂
Thanks so much for the follow, visit, and comment. I also like what I’ve learned about you, and I look forward to future meetings here.
Thank you for the follow on Kerri Chronicles, Ann. I look forward to getting to know you and reading more on your site.
Hi Kerri. I look forward to getting to know you better, too. Thanks so much for the visit and the comment.
Hi Ann–Thanks for the follow! I look forward to seeing more of your blog. It looks interesting–AND non-judgmental with a sense of humor. 😉
-Merril
Hi! I’m so glad you saw interesting, non-judgmental AND humor, here. I look forward to our reading each other’s work in the future.
Thanks for the follow Ann.
Laurie.
I’m glad we’ve met each other here, Laurie. I look forward to reading more about you.
Thank you.
Ann, thank you so much for the follow on my own humble wee blog – it is really appreciated. Welcome Aboard. IF you have any suggestions or requests just let me know. Hope you are having a great week now. MM 🍀
Thank you so much for this meticulous comment. I look forward to following and reading more of your thoughts.
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You are a great inspiration for me so I nominate you for the Sunshine Award, please oblige and accept it. Please continue to Inspire all around. 🙂 🙂
Sagarika! You inspire me, too. I am humbled and honored by the nomination. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
You are truly my inspiration sincerely when I start going away from my Focus. Thank You for your kind words. 🙂
Thank you for your visit to my little blog, you are not alone, I have Cardiomyopathy
http://www.healthcentral.com/encyclopedia/408/700.html
since 1988 and now with a Biventricular Defibrillator Pacemaker
http://www.ehow.com/facts_5644712_biventricular-pacemaker_.html
Picked up a virus while working.
Something like what you are going through?
Close enough. I’m so glad you visited, commented, and showed yourself in this way. I look forward to future heart-to-hearts.
Just to say hi and thank you for kindly visiting and now following my blog. I shall be revisiting yours again soon as it sounds very interesting!
Take Care on your journey my friend
Regards
Bob
Thanks to you, my new friend, Bob. I look forward to our future encounters, also.
Cheers Ann!
Keep in touch
Bob