Posts Tagged With: living in the moment

Day 1042: Happiness

Posted on November 8, 2015 by Ann Koplow

In yesterday’s blog post — which I was happy to present to you — we found out that thesaurus.com believes that happiness is the opposite of intensity.

Fairness, clarity, completeness, and closure are elements of happiness for me, so let’s see if thesaurus.com thinks “intensity” is an antonym of happiness.

It does not. Instead,  it lists these:

depression, despair, discouragement, displeasure, dissatisfaction, gloom, melancholy, misery, pain, sadness, trouble, unhappiness, upset, woe, worry

Does what thesaurus.com does —  or does not do —  get in the way of my happiness today?

It does not.

What might get in the way of my happiness today?

  • When I was leaving the parking  garage of the movie theater where Michael, Aaron, and I saw Bridge of Spies last night, I scraped some happy yellow paint off the side mirror of my car, which has been providing me with lots of happiness.
  • That’s all I can think of, in the moment.

To me, that is  happiness — waking up in the morning thinking of only one minor, fixable barrier to happiness.

I’m sure if I spent more time, right now, thinking about past experiences of or future possibilities for

depression, despair, discouragement, displeasure, dissatisfaction, gloom, melancholy, misery, pain, sadness, trouble, unhappiness, upset, woe, worry

… I could come up with lots more.

Instead, I’m going to share the music I was singing out loud yesterday and images I captured, with happiness.

IMG_6642 IMG_6643 IMG_6645 IMG_6647IMG_6648 IMG_6650 IMG_6651 IMG_6652 IMG_6653 IMG_6655  IMG_6656IMG_6658  IMG_6666 IMG_6667 IMG_6669IMG_6670 IMG_6674 IMG_6682 IMG_6683IMG_6684 IMG_6685 IMG_6687IMG_6688IMG_6689 IMG_6690 IMG_6691IMG_6692 IMG_6700 IMG_6695 IMG_6701 IMG_6703 IMG_6704 IMG_6705 IMG_6707 IMG_6708IMG_6709IMG_6716

In my previous blog post quoting Pharrell William’s “Happy,” I wondered what he meant by a “room without a roof.”

IMG_6717

Now I know.

What might contribute to your happiness today?

As always, it gives me happiness to express my thanks to all who help me create my posts and to all who read them (including you!).

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Day 1038: Determined

Posted on November 4, 2015 by Ann Koplow

I am determined to tell you, immediately, why this post is titled “Determined.”

IMG_6503

Now that I’m determined to examine that image — which I determined to take yesterday  —  I’ve determined that it does NOT say “TBD,” which stands for To Be Determined.  Instead, it says “TBA.”

Are we determined to discover what “TBA” stands for?

I’m determined to stay focused on “determined” today.

I’m determined to tell you that since my esteemed colleague, Mary, determined to retire from the hospital where we both work, we’ve been determined to find a wonderful therapist to fill her place. We’ve determined that nobody can really replace Mary, but we’re determined to find somebody special.   Even though we’ve been determined to interview many determined people over many determined weeks, that list of determined therapists still reads “TBA,” (which I’m determined, now, to announce means “To Be Announced”).

I’m determined to hope that we announce, very soon,  that we’ve determined that a determined, creative, empathic, and lovely person has determined to join us.

I’ve determined that I have other determined thoughts about “determined”:

  • I’m determined to meet with somebody today about renting office space, so I can offer my therapy groups to people who have determined  to not have their determined doctors at that Boston hospital where I work.
  • I’m determined to help myself and others focus on self care, which studies have determined promotes longer and happier lives for those who are determined to do so.
  • Being determined doesn’t mean focusing on one thing to the exclusion of all others.
  • I am determined to have adult-to-adult interactions with people, so they can determine priorities and options in their lives.
  • It has yet to be determined what college my son is going to next year.
  • I’m determined to facilitate a therapy group of determined people, this morning, at the hospital where my new co-worker is yet to be determined and announced.
  • For the month of November, I’ve announced that I’m determined to post every day, along with other determined bloggers.
  • Here are more determined photos, from yesterday:

IMG_6501 IMG_6502IMG_6505 IMG_6506 IMG_6508 IMG_6510 IMG_6511 IMG_6512

It’s TBD what I’m wearing to work today, but I’ve determined it won’t be what’s pictured above, since I determined to wear that yesterday.

Do you think this post is over determined?

It’s TBD and TBA what determined music I’m determining for this determined post.

Patience, please, while this is determined.

Some cheesy music by the determined and talented Tim Minchin has determined to stay in my head.

I’m determined to share it again, since I’ve determined that most people weren’t determined enough to play it two days ago.

What thoughts, feelings, or music might you be determined to share, here and now?

Determined thanks to all who helped me create this determined post and to you — of course! — for being determined enough to read it.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Day 918: Tangled up

Posted on July 7, 2015 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday morning, these earphones …

… got tangled up, and it took me a while to untangle them before I left for work.

Immediately, some music got tangled up in my head.

Then, those same earphones got Tangled Up in Blue (and other colors):


Next, I got tangled up in traffic,


  
… tangled up in some confusion,


  

… tangled up in love for my friends and co-workers Jan and Mary,

… and tangled up in many found objects  (some of which were blue):




  
  


      
  
  
  
  
  




Before I get too tangled up in today’s post, I want to untangle these things:

  • The  beautiful, untangled necklace was worn by Linda, one of my favorite people at the hospital-based Primary Care Practice where we work.
  • Mary, a clinical social worker like me, told me a few weeks ago, “I’ve been doing this experiment where I look for a specific color in my surroundings, and it’s amazing how everything with that color then pops out at me!”
  • I’m not sure whether my recent cardiac surgery is helping me feel significantly better, but I’m sure I’ll untangle that and other heart-related issues when I see my chief cardiologist, Dr. Salem, eight days from now.
  • As much as I admire the incredible accomplishments of Bob Dylan, I am  tangled up in surprise that I don’t love his music and lyrics more than I do.

What are you tangled up in, right now?

Tangled-up thanks to Mary, Jan, Linda, Bob Dylan, Dr. Salem, my earphones, cats, bunnies, and  everything blue (and non-blue)  I got tangled up in yesterday. Also, special thanks to you — of course! — for untangling yourself enough to visit here, today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , | 43 Comments

Day 892: Best

Posted on June 11, 2015 by Ann Koplow

Here’s my best attempt to start today’s post:

What’s the best word or phrase you’re using, these days, to end your emails, letters, or other best  communications?

Maybe here’s the best way to ask my question:

Before you write your name, do you write “Sincerely,” “Yours truly,” or some other best word or phrase?

I’ve noticed that a lot of people write

Best,

… to best sign their written messages.

My best sign-off phrase, these days, is

All my best,

I am doing all my best not to judge things, so I truly believe that there is no better or best way to end a communication. “All my best,” is simply  my personal choice, when I sign my name.

Here are all my best images, from yesterday:



                                         

       

                                         

All my best attempts today could never describe how excellent it was to be at the Boston Pops last night with my best son, Aaron, and my Ex-Sister-in-Law (ESIL) Deborah, at the Simply Sondheim concert.

Yesterday — after I had given you all my best in Day 891: Remnants — best WordPresser Maureen suggested it was NOT best to call Deborah my “Ex-Sister-in-Law.” After doing all our best, last night,  to discuss what Deborah and I best call each other, Deborah used all her best to suggest

Excellente’s

… instead of ESIL.

What do you think is all the best?

Here‘s all my best, for the best musical addition to this post.

Despite all my best efforts, I’ve never seen Sondheim’s Merrily We Roll Along, considered — by all the best people — to be one of his best.

All my best gratitude to all who helped me do all my best with today’s post, including Aaron, Deborah, Maureen, the Boston Pops, Stephen Sondheim, some of Boston’s best landmarks, and — of course! — you.

All my best,

Ann

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Day 876: New items arrive each week 

Posted on May 26, 2015 by Ann Koplow

New items arrive on my iPhone camera, each day. Here’s one from yesterday:

That’s true, isn’t it? We all have many new items arriving in our lives, each week, to deal with. Some of those new items we might choose; other arrivals  we might do anything within our power to prevent.

No matter what we think, feel, or do, though, the new items keeps arriving. Shouldn’t we keep arriving, too, as best we can?

Here are some of the new items that arrived, for me, within the last week:

  • Hearing about the death of a high school classmate I hoped to see again,
  • More feedback —  from loved ones and trusted medical treaters — that I am looking and seeming healthier after my recent cardiac-related surgery,
  • Continued proof of my healing and recovery from that surgery,
  • A representative of an insulation company refusing my request for further repair to  damage done  to the outside of our building, and
  • Many wonderful things I had never seen, heard, nor otherwise experienced before (as demonstrated by each and every post I created last week).

Here’s my latest shipment of new items, arriving yesterday:


                                 

   

Who knows what items will arrive this week? I shall do my best to arrive, greeting every arrrival, every moment.

Here’s an old song that arrived in a new way, for me, last week:

“People Get Ready,” by Curtis Mayfield, is now ready for you to arrive, on YouTube.

One more item arriving now, for you:

New thanks are now arriving for my late classmate Marina, for Curtis Mayfield, for Fresh Pond in Cambridge, Massachusetts USA, for creatures on land and sea, for Genki Ya, for T. J. Maxx, for mothers, for chocolate, for kisses and hugs, for anything that heals us, and for you — of course! — for your new arrival here, today.

Categories: in memoriam, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , | 46 Comments

Day 874: Find a Stillness

Posted on May 24, 2015 by Ann Koplow

Last night, my boyfriend Michael and I went to a jazz event called “Celebrating The Great American Songbook” at a Lexington, Massachusetts church. While we were waiting for it to begin, Michael and I found this:

Earlier in the day, I was able to find a stillness and a description of last night’s event:


When I read that, I found a stillness and an excitement about seeing the amazing Lee Konitz, in person.

Before the event, I was able to find all these (and a stillness) in Lexington, Massachusetts, with Michael:


                                                    

That’s one of the organizers of “Celebrating the Great American Songbook,” breaking the stillness before the performance to tell us that Lee Konitz would not be appearing. A moment later, I found a stillness when he announced that the performers would include the amazing drummer Terri Lyne Carrington.

Here’s the memory I found, in that stillness:

Two decades ago, when I was in my first year of social work school (transitioning from a career in marketing and advertising), Berklee College of Music asked me to create a video for an event celebrating a big anniversary for the school. The narrator for that little documentary I created for Berklee was Terri Lyne Carrington.

I found a stillness last night as I listened to the terrific music and wondered if Terri Lyne had any memory of our working together, so long ago.


       

I found a stillness and a joy when Terri Lyne’s father, Sonny Carrington (left), was invited up from the audience to scat-sing to the last number, a Charlie Parker tune.

After the wonderful performance, I found a stillness to wait for Terri Lyne and to remind her about the voice-over she had provided — in the stillness of a Berklee College of Music recording studio — so many years ago. Terri Lyne found the stillness and grace to tell me she had some distant memories of that experience.

After I spoke with Terri Lyne, I found this stillness, in the church:

About a half- hour later, I was able to find a stillness and some Malt Hydrox ice cream:

When I got home, I found a stillness, but not the photo I have of Terri Lyne Carrington and me at that long-ago Berklee anniversary celebration.

Someday, I’ll find that photo and the videotape I created for Berklee, both still in the stillness of my home, somewhere.

Will I find that photo and video today, in the stillness of this beautiful Sunday in May? I find a stillness, here and now, to say “Time will tell.”

Here‘s something else I just found, very easily, in the stillness of YouTube:

That shows you how Terri Lyne Carrington has been bursting through stillness with her incredible drumming, from a very young age. And I can find a stillness to tell you she is still doing that, today!

Now, I find a stillness to thank Beverly (who told me about “Celebrating the Great American Songbook” yesterday), Michael, Terri Lyne Carrington, Sonny Carrington, Dr. Lewis Porter, Gary Bartz (on saxophone), the bass player last night (whose name I still can’t remember), Charlie Parker, the great American songbook,  Lexington Massachusetts, Lexington Community Education, Rancatore’s Ice Cream, Berklee College of Music, Arsenio Hall, the creator of the hymn “Find a Stillness,” and you — of course! — for finding a stillness (I hope), today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Day 849: The Art of the Heart

Posted on April 29, 2015 by Ann Koplow

Yesterday, I saw some unexpected art, as I followed my heart.

                            


                  

One of the artful messages on that giant CD heart came from my heart. Could you guess, in your heart, which one it was?

More importantly, what heart-felt message might you have left on that art heart? How would you “make visible what makes your heart sing and how you carry the music of life”?

Here are two performances of music made visible on that heart (and on this heart, too):

“No Day But Today” (found here and there on YouTube) is from the artistic heart of Jonathan Larson.

It breaks my heart that Jonathan Larson’s big, 35-year-old heart stopped in 1996 — because of an undiagnosed tear in his aorta — a day before the debut of the musical Rent, which was the art of his heart, made visible.

A few more scenes — seen and not seen yesterday — from the heart of Boston, USA:

 
                   

Where we live

there’s only now

there’s only here

forget regret

no other way

no day but today.

Artful and heartful thanks to Jonathan Larson, the artists of Seen/Not Seen, Studios Without Walls, Riverway Park, Fenway Park, the cast of Rent, Idina Menzel, and you — of course! — for the heart you bring (no day but) today.

Categories: in memoriam, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Day 844: Gifts

Posted on April 24, 2015 by Ann Koplow

What gifts are in your life, right now? What are you grateful for, in the present?

I am grateful for the gifts of:

  • another day,
  • meaningful work,
  • freedom from pain and want, in this moment,
  • good weather,
  • nature,
  • my family and friends,
  • animals near and far,
  • attentive and competent medical treaters, where I work and where I live,
  • kindness, wherever and whenever I find it, and
  • blogging!

I have been given the incredible gift of people who regularly read this blog. Those readers might be noticing that I’ve given no photographic gifts to support this post, so far.

That’s because I took very few visual gifts away from my surroundings yesterday.

Why?

Perhaps I was focusing more on appreciating the gifts in every moment, rather than capturing those gifts on my iPhone.

However, I do have two photographic gifts to share with you. I took those gifts away from a therapy group last night, where the group members offered the gifts of

  • vulnerability,
  • courage,
  • hope,
  • personal pain,
  • empathy

… and so much more.

Inspired by them, I offered the gift of a new group activity, where people gave gifts, using the paper and markers in the group room.

I offered the gift of these guidelines:

  1. You can give gifts to anybody in the room, including yourself.
  2. You have the option of turning down any gift.
  3. When you give somebody else a gift, you can also accept that gift for yourself. 

Here’s a gift somebody gave me:

Here’s a gift I gave myself, after somebody gave us the gift of the term “Akashic Record”:


Because I’ve never had the gift of great handwriting, here’s what I inscribed in my personal Book of Life, last night:

Good stuff
More good stuff
It’s all good, even
the not good stuff.

Speaking of good stuff, here are some gifts in my immediate future:

  • another day at work, where I get the gift of witnessing people healing in therapy,
  • a get-away weekend in New Hampshire with Barbara (who has been giving me the gift of her friendship since we were both little kids), and
  • the return home, from a trip to Italy, of my 17-year old son, who is an amazing gift to me.

Here’s my Friday gift of music, from the gifted Elton John:

YouTube gave me that gift of “Your Song.”

Any gifts you’d like to leave below, in a comment?

The gift of gratitude to all those who gave me the gifts to create this post and to you — of course! — for the gifts you bring here, today.

Categories: gratitude, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , | 30 Comments

Day 842: Every day a little _____

Posted on April 22, 2015 by Ann Koplow

A little while ago, this sleep machine


crashed to the floor and woke me up.

Every day a little crash.

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little


Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little


Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little

Every day a little weather

Every day a little

Every day a little

 .

Every day a little music. Many days a little Sondheim.

Every day a little post.

Every day a little comment?

Every day a lot of thanks to Stephen Sondheim, to all the little things in life, and — of course! — to you.

Categories: gratitude, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , | 47 Comments

Day 837: The Bottom Falls Out

Posted on April 17, 2015 by Ann Koplow

At the bottom — I mean the beginning — of this past week, my first patient on Monday talked about how much better she was feeling. Almost immediately, she said

I’m afraid the bottom’s going to fall out, and something bad will happen.

From the bottom to the top of my career as a therapist, I’ve heard similar thoughts from many people, who are trying to move from the bottom of psychological distress to the top of their personal worlds.

People often fear the new, and feeling “too good” can cause fears that

  • the good feelings will end too soon,
  • it will be more painful  to crash down from the height of feeling good ( than to remain with the familiar, more negative feelings), and
  • the person doesn’t “deserve” to feel that good.

Near the bottom of my time as a WordPress blogger (way back in 2013), I wrote some other posts about this topic. Since I’ve bottomed out my ability to link to past posts while I’m writing a new one on my phone, I’ll add links to those posts at the bottom, after I publish this.

So, to go back to the bottom of this story about my patient on Monday, after she expressed the very common fear of feeling too good, I asked several questions, including these:

  1. What if the bottom fell out?
  2. What would that be like?
  3. What might happen next?
  4. What would it be like to be more present where you are, without worrying about the future?
  5. Why don’t human beings worry about the bottom falling out when we’re feeling BAD?

Lest the bottom fall out of the point I’m trying to make here, I asked that bottom question to invite her to consider that feelings shift up and down — moving towards the top and then towards the bottom and so on — over time.  Yet, our thoughts go into the future with worry when we feel “too good” …. but we usually do NOT anticipate feeling better when we are feeling bad.

Those questions I asked that patient (especially the bottom one) seemed to get to the bottom of her fears.  I’m writing that from the bottom of my heart, now, as I remember  how happy she looked at the bottom of that therapy  session.

Here are some top-to-bottom shots I took yesterday from the bottom of Boston, as I was thinking about “The Bottom Falls Out” for today:

  

      Edit           

                

                

To get to the bottom of that last photo from yesterday, the 2015 snow in Boston is FINALLY bottoming out.

Before I get to the bottom of this post, I want to introduce you to Robert …

… who is “the boss” of

… near the hospital where I work. When I started working there — over three years ago, and was having some days when my mood hit bottom — Robert was one of those people whose welcoming smiles and friendly talk helped my moods head back towards the top. I wasn’t surprised, yesterday, when Robert told me he was heading towards his top career choice of becoming a nurse when he realized he’d prefer to go to culinary school, instead.

Here’s the burrito Robert made me yesterday, from top to bottom:

That blue marker is there to mark the size of that burrito. Do you think the bottom fell out of that?

Apparently not.

As we approach the bottom of this WordPress page, do you have any questions, thoughts, or feelings you’d like to share at the bottom of the comments?

What music do you think should fall out, at the bottom here?

Top-to-bottom thanks to Spinal Tap (for “Big Bottom” and so much more), to Robert, to people trying to get to the bottom of their past and their fears in therapy, to my co-workers who get to the bottom with humor and grace, and to you — of course — for letting the bottom fall out with me here, today.

We’ve finally hit bottom! As promised, some previous posts about that bottoming-out Fear of Feeling Too Good are here, here, and here.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: , , , , , , , | 40 Comments

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