Posts Tagged With: William Shatner bobble-head

“Worst fears” is a technique I sometimes use, as a therapist, inviting people to let go of fear.

That seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it?

Here’s how it works:

1. People express or show fear (or some sort of emotional discomfort).
2. I ask, “What’s your worst fear, about that?”
3. They think about that and express it (sometimes for the first time).
4. That seems to help.

What’s my worst fear about this post, so far?

That I’m not being particularly clear or convincing.

Let’s see what happens when I ask YOU that question (in a slightly different version, which I also use in my work):

What’s your worst fear, right now?

Did that help you, in any way?

Or did it make things worse?

My recommendations, regarding answering that question, would be:

1. Take a breath.
2. Write down (or otherwise put words on) an answer (in order to externalize the fear and to start identifying specifics).
3. If that doesn’t help, STOP doing it.
4. Distract yourself with things you know WILL help. For example, look at some fun photos:

Did that help?

What are MY worst fears, right now?

1. That my very unusual heart is failing, in some ways.
2. That I will be alone with that.

Did it help me to write those down?

Yes, it did.

Why?

Because, now that I’ve written down those worst fears, I can answer them, as follows (in my usual inquisitive style):

1. Does anybody’s heart really and truly fail?
2. How can I be alone, if I keep posting cool photos like those?

Thanks to my ex-in-laws (not pictured) with whom I spent Thanksgiving Day, to my boyfriend Michael’s family (whom I saw briefly, last night), to all who feel fear and do their best to let go of it, and to you — of course! — no matter what your worst fear is.