I noticed that I woke up this morning with a few fears.
American President Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, in his first inauguration speech on March 3, 1933:
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
I fear that might not be the ONLY thing we have to fear, since there’s so much
- confusion,
- pain,
- injustice,
- sickness,
- cruelty, and
- other misfortunes, all around us.
I have no fear, however, that FDR had something very important to tell us, because if we
- fear our own fears,
- are anxious about our anxieties,
- get depressed about our depressions,
- become sick about our sicknesses
… we multiply our pain, which can become overwhelming and paralyzing.
So how do we let go of fear, which I fear I’ve promised some practical solutions about, today?
I fear that fear can become overwhelming if we don’t name it.
I have already named that I have some fears today. I can now face some fears, one by one.
Fear du Jour #1: I fear I will say the wrong thing to a vulnerable, fearful person today, at work.
I am glad I’ve named that fear. By expressing that here and now, I can now remember that
- I’ve encountered that kind of situation at work before and
- I’ve dealt with it, well enough.
Voila! I let go of that fear or — at least — reduced it to a manageable size.
That was easier than I expected. I fear that my next fear might be harder to let go.
Let’s deal with that fear about fear immediately, shall we?
Fear du Jour #2: I fear that friggin’ Federal Express will not deliver my tickets to see Todd Rundgren in concert, without more unnecessary suffering for me.
I am glad I named that fear, too, because, at least, I got to tell my loyal blog readers that I am quite annoyed with Federal Express. I fear if I get started, this post will turn into
Day 829: Why Federal Express SUCKS
which would be fun for me but, I fear, not particularly helpful for you.
I fear, however, that I must show you this delivery I found from Federal Express, yesterday:
Any fears about that? Here are my fears:
- They won’t let me sign for the package, allowing them to leave the tickets in a future delivery,
- I have to go to friggin’ Needham Massachusetts if I want to pick up my tickets, which is fearfully far away from here,
- Wait! I have to go to friggin’ Neeham, Massachusetts to pick them up, which doesn’t even exist,
- When I tried to control my destiny last night by choosing a reasonable time for the next attempted ticket delivery when somebody who lives here might actually hear the friggin’ doorbell, the friggin’ fedex website asked me some fearfully private questions to confirm the friggin’ delivery, as if there is something to fear about ME GETTING MY OWN TICKETS,
- The website didn’t work, I fear,
- The nice Federal Express guy I reached on the phone last night told me he feared there was nothing he could do to set the delivery time I wanted, and
- There’s a big VOID on that door ticket, which reminds me of the existential void we all fear as human beings.
I fear I may be fearing Federal Express too much.
However, I feel better.
Fear du Jour #3: The surgery I’m getting the day after the Todd Rundgren concert might not help my very unusual heart enough, which might necessitate future fear-inducing surgery like a heart valve replacement or, more likely, an eventual heart transplant.
Hey! Who wouldn’t fear something like that?
However, as with the other fears, naming that fear helped me. Now I know I have a right to have my fear (as we always have the right to feel our own feelings).
And, I realize that fear is about the future, which I cannot really know or control.
I hope you do not fear questions from me, because I have two more, now:
Are all fears future-oriented? Since we cannot know or control the future, why not let go of fear, as best we can?
Fear du Jour #4: The photos I took yesterday will not match the topic of today’s post.
Again, I feel better now that I named that fear. I shall now let go of that fear even further, by sharing these photos:
Anything to fear, there?
Just one more photo, I fear:
I fear that somebody might quickly read that as EXPEAT, by mistake.
In case you fear saying anything at all, below, remember this:
Did you fear I forgot to include some music about fear?
Never fear:
Do not fear that “Don’t Fear the Reaper” by Blue Oyster Cult or “Don’t be Afraid of the Dark” by Robert Cray aren’t available elsewhere, if you don’t see them here. They’re both on YouTube, fearlessly.
Thanks to all who helped me create this fear-ful post and special thanks to you (no matter how much fear or what kinds of fears you’ve experienced, so far, in your precious life).
You are amazing!
You are, Louise! And let’s let go of any fear about how amazing we are!
I will tell my Philosopher of Everyday Living, that the tickets will be obtainable somehow because they’ve already been been bought, that anxiety is a state of mind, that it’s better to stay quiet when fearing to say the wrong thing (but it’s almost nearly impossible in health related professions because it’s an environment of many vulnerable people), and that I love that quote by American President Franklin Delano Roosevelt. And that I agree with getting still a third medical opinion, even if that means flying somewhere to get it. We knew a doctor (yes a doctor), who saved herself when she got her 3rd opinion. I think it was in Texas.
I love this comment, Maria, which was extremely helpful to me, in many ways.
I also deeply respect your decisions, however, so the so called “3rd” opinion I brought up is because I was concerned, not because I know anything in particular. I stand by you whatever you decide.🌻 Please keep anxiety free so you can relax in the moment and not add any more stress.
I deeply respect your caring thoughts, Maria.
I only knew this doctor who had metastasised lung cancer and went for two medical opinions which coincided that it was inoperable. She went for a 3rd medical opinion, and they saved her life. She’s cancer free for 3 years now and is still practicing medicine.
Fearlessly wonderful story, Maria. Many thanks.
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Thanks for the beautiful tiger, Maria.
Extraordinary post which I will have to go back to for the details. You are amazing as Louise points out above. Me – I am afraid of fear!
Never fear, Julie, this comment made my day!
I didn’t know Todd Rundgren was still performing? Hello it’s me… Classic
Hello it’s you and I’m glad to see you here!
It’s been a long long while!
I fear that it is only appropriate that I tell you, via Todd Rundgren: “There’s a hammer in my heart / pounding out your name.”
I hope you get those tix!
Man, I really hope those cardiologists don’t use a hammer in my heart on May 4th. And, perhaps thanks to your hope, Jeff, I got the tix today!
They better not.
I fear I can relate to this post Ann. I read somewhere that anxiety (fear) is future based as well and that depression and sadness are based in the past. So all those bloggers who encourage living in the moment (present) might have a very valid point. <3
Diana xo
I believe everything you say, as usual, Diana. I have no fear about that. <3
Thank you for putting my fears to rest along with yours Ann!
Breathe slow and easy my friend.
xoxo
I am breathing slower and easier now, Val, thanks to you.
I remember FDR saying that and, being a teenager at the time, it helped me. Now, I think a little fear is a good thing to prepare for negative possibilities in this world today. We, in California, try to prepare for earthquakes. We have emergency kits ready for ourselves and our cat that I hope we won’t have to use. We have to live in the moment, but we also have to think about tomorrow in a realistic way.
I never fear your comments; I look forward to them.
I have not visited your blog in awhile. I forgot how much fun you are to read. Your question is Fear always about what we expect in future events? Yes. The solution for me is always about my perception of reality in this very moment. Even when I am thinking this overwhelming fear getting out of bed will make me go mad, I laugh it off, say a quick prayer and move through it. Reminding yourself that you have managed these problems successfully in the past is very sane. That helps to give you the information you need today. I will check back more often. Thanks.
I have no fear that you will check back and I feel more fearless, after reading this!
Here’s to not fearing the reaper, or anything else for that matter! I believe that fear can also be overcome with a positive outlook on life, which you my friend, have in spades!!!!
I would love to not fear the reaper, Tracy, and I’m working on that, as best I can. Thank you for your positive attitude about me and many other things, my friend.
This post did make me fearful until I saw those pussywillows and tulips and they calmed my fears. I do hope Fed Ex delivers, and I have no fear that your surgery will have a positive outcome.Your continued positive outlook and energy will quash those fears I am sure. (Just an aside- One of my childhood friends had a heart transplant 6 years ago- a virus came out of nowhere and attacked her heart-she is doing great)
Hearing about your friend helped me let go of a Fed Ex truck full of fear. Thank you for delivering this wonderful comment.
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Another beautiful tiger, Maria! Many thanks.
I really like the TicketMaster system where you merely print out your tickets, Ann. Cardboard tickets that need to be FedExed are so yesterday, I say. I hope you get them tomorrow nevertheless.
I got the tickets, Mark! So I have fearlessly received several eagerly anticipated deliveries today, including this comment from you.
FedEx comes through. One fear gone. Yay, Ann.
I fear many things but mostly I fear the unknown and open heights but the open heights is justified as I may fall and die………..just saying
All our feelings make sense, Joanne, and they will pass and make room for the next ones and we’re both just saying.
I fear I’ll be out of touch with the blogosphere again over the weekend because windy weather is forecast – for some reason my phone and broadband are cut off every time it’s windy, and British Telecom still haven’t done anything about it. My feelings about BT are similar to yours about FedEx.
Some of those photos are pretty scary – especially that green Red Sox thing. I don’t know if it’s meant to be scary, but it scares the hell out of me!
I love ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’. Have you heard the Talking Heads album ‘Fear of Music’? One or two scary tracks there.
You delighted the hell out of me with this comment, Annabelle, although I do fear your absence from here!
I feared I was too late to read this post – but I was mistaken!
I’m less scared now, seeing you!
To list your fears is a good first step. You might then number them in terms of intensity. Then, you might try to cope with the least fearful of your fears, and move up the ladder gradually. In any case, I think it’s better to acknowledge your fears rather than deny them.
Thank you, Robert, for this fearfully good and helpful comment.
Ann,
Fear is a malady we all are subject to. In that we know we are not alone.
When experiencing that paralyzing fear; the type that cements your feet to the floor; that is when I let go and let God. My only solution to fear is prayer.
I’ll keep you in mind with what you have ahead.
-Alan
Thank you, Alan. I feel less afraid.
This is very helpful for me, as I am on a pointlessly fearful rumination loop at the moment.
That’s what fear does, Hilary — it loops and ruminates. I hope this post helped you let go of fear, even a little.